Chapter 5
It's not like he planned to keep it a secret, he just didn't tell anyone. As the days turned to weeks and his physical pain started to mend, he slipped into a routine. Wake up, go to work, come home, take a nap, go to Monica's or the coffee shop for an hour or two, go home, go to bed. He still saw everyone everyday, just not quite as much. He wasn't avoiding them exactly, he just didn't feel like being around them. When he was around them, he was quiet. If anyone noticed, they didn't mention it.
At least until one night at Monica's place when he fell asleep on the couch. All he really wanted to do lately was sleep. He awoke with a bit of a start, as usual, as now's usual, anyway, from a bad dream. He looked around and everyone had gone home or gone to bed except for Monica sitting to the left of him on the couch, who seemed like she had been watching him sleeping. He looked over at her and then looked away, feeling awkward.
"Morning, sleepyhead," she smiled softly, silently pleading for him to look back up at her and respond. But as usual, as now's usual, silence. A few more seconds of silence floated between them before she scooter closer next to him, taking his left hand with her right. He silently begged her not to, but was actually surprised by how comforting it was. He slowly rested his head on her shoulder, sighing into her hair. She took her other hand and slipped it across his back, softly rubbing his arm. He let himself begin to relax at her touch and closed his eyes. She rested her head slightly on top of his and breathed in his scent. She liked this, she missed him, the real him, not the zombie that wandered around her apartment every night like it was a chore.
"You've been quiet lately," she mummers, lightly stroking his arm.
He doesn't say anything again, not sure what to say. Yeah, he has been quiet lately. No, he doesn't want to talk about it. She knows he isn't going to reply and so she doesn't press on any further. She studies his right hand in her left, it's so soft.
"Chandler," she says, finally breaking the silence.
"Mm?"
"What's been going on, honey?" She instantly feels him tense.
"Nothing."
"Come on, Chandler... it's not nothing"
He bites his lip. "I'm telling you, Monica," he says, lifting his head and looking at her. "Nothing is going on."
She looks in his eyes, wishing she could see the truth in them. "Okay," she says softly.
"Okay?" he asks, surprised at how easily she gives up.
"Okay," she nods, now taking back both her arms and wrapping them around his neck, pulling him close. They just sit there holding each other for awhile .
"I better go," he mutters finally.
"I don't want you to," she whispers. He doesn't say anything. Another minute passes. Slowly, she begins to kiss him. First on his neck where her face rests. Then on his cheek. Then on his lips.
What am I doing? she wonders to herself but keeps kissing him. He's hesitant at first and she wonders if she's making a huge mistake but soon he begins to kiss her back. It starts out slow but it soon turns into heated passion. They're so involved in each other, tongues meeting, hands in each other's hair. It feels unexpected, but it feels so right. Starts on the couch, but then they're standing up, they're walking to Monica's room, lips never parting. Monica closes the door with her foot and they collapse on to the bed, melting into each other. They make out for awhile longer, him leaning over her, until Monica starts to unbutton his pants and he begins to tense. They part and she looks at him. He looks away. "Uh," he starts, "maybe um, maybe we shouldn't..."
"Yeah," she says quickly, not really understanding. Why wouldn't a guy want to have sex? Oh, God, what if it's her? Maybe he just doesn't want to have sex with her. But that kiss was so passionate...
"Please, don't misunderstand me," he says, looking into her eyes. "I just can't... right now..."
"Okay," she says softly. "It's okay."
"Are you sure?" he asks, hesitant.
"Yes, I'm sure," she says, kissing him on the nose. "If you don't want to..."
"Oh, I-I want to, I think, I just... let's just sleep," he smiles softly at her. "You know like, together," he tries to smirk. She smiles back at him and lifts herself off the bed, pushing him up with her. She turns down the bed covers and slides into them, waiting for him to join her. He kicks off his shoes and crawls in close to her. She wraps her arms around him and kisses him in the cheek. He hugs her tighter.
/Guest reviewer, thank you! As you can see Mondler is definitely end game :P I hope it's not moving too fast. When I wrote the first few chapters months ago this is the one that really inspired me to keep going and was so fun and emotional to write! After this chapter I'm not quite sure where this story is going, so... enjoy the ride :P - Art/