Walking into his apartment, Paul put the bag containing the Thai takeaway on the table, then called, "I'm home."
"Aha," Arthur said, coming out of the bedroom and grinning at him. "I understand you had an interesting day."
"You might say that," Paul sighed as they embraced. "I met a very strange person today."
"It was all over the news," his husband said as he released him, then headed for the bag of takeaway, looking into it with interest. "But by the look of it, you got a Foot in the door with her."
Paul stopped dead, half-way to the wine rack, then slumped a little.
"Shit. You heard."
"I did, love, I did," the other man snickered. "Good thing you talk fast, you managed to land on your Foot." He looked up, clearly trying not to burst out laughing. "Best Foot forward, in fact."
"Please stop that," Paul sighed.
"It's a good thing you listened when she told you to stop. You know those Union types, give an inch and they'll take a Foot, then you won't have a Leg to stand on," Arthur continued mercilessly.
"You've been thinking these up all afternoon, haven't you?" Paul groaned.
"Might have, yes. PHO helped, they've got hundreds of them." Arthur looked extremely amused. "Apparently as Mr Foot you have twelve inches, but you don't use it as a rule."
"Oh for god's sake," he sighed, shaking his head.
"She seems nice, though. Sort of large, but nice." His husband started removing the containers of food from the bag, putting them on the table. "I think we should watch a movie with this. What about 'Footloose'? Or 'My Left Foot', that's pretty good." Arthur had a wide grin on his face, apparently permanently, while Paul groaned again.
"Hey, if we get you cloned twice, will we have the Yard triplets, do you think?"
"Christ, I should have stayed in Brockton Bay," Paul muttered, shaking his head. "At least Kaiju stopped with the jokes when I asked politely."
"Brought her to heel, hmm?"
Paul banged his head on the fridge.
"Had to put your Foot down, dig in your heel, and make sure your relationship started off on the right Foot?"
"Oh, God. Please make it stop." Paul quickly opened a bottle of wine, poured himself a large glass of it, then drank half in one shot.
"Good thing you didn't put your Foot in it, or you'd have had to Leg it."
"GGAAAHHHH!" Paul slugged the rest of the wine, grabbed the now hysterically laughing Arthur, and hauled him towards the bedroom. The other man only had time to grab a container of Pad Thai and a fork before he was taken away, still grinning.
"Good idea! Put your Foot up and relax," the voice said one last time before the door slammed shut, sounding extremely pleased with itself.