Penelope felt some strange shift in Josie and she had no idea what happened. She spoke less about having a baby and she looked like she was not in a mood to do anything that Penelope wanted. She felt like Josie was punishing her for something, but she had no idea what for. She gave some space to Josie believing that maybe she needed some time to process something before she speaks to her, but nothing changed. Josie was still distant and sometimes rude to her. One night Penelope couldn't take it anymore and she confronted Josie.
''What is going on with you? For past few days you've been acting like I am some enemy or something… Tell me what is this all about?''
''I know Penelope?''
''Know what?''
''That you don't want kids with me….I heard you and Hope. You could have told me that you don't want kids with me.''
''Oh, that's what this is all about?''
''Yes, that's the thing.''
''Josie, I never said I don't want to have children with you… The issue is having them without you.''
Josie was taken back by the comment Penelope made.
''If I could trust you that you will come back to me alive on the day of the merge, I would give birth to ten children right this moment Jojo… But I don't believe a word you say when it comes to merge. I know you will die for Lizzie, so tell me why should I have that baby knowing I will raise it alone?''
''You will not be alone. You would have Hope, Lizzie…my mom and dad… Your mom and David.''
''Lizzie? Are you serious?! I would never let her close to my children if she kills you… No! No way!''
''Penny… She will be their aunt…''.''
''And a person who killed their mother.''
''Please, promise me that you will let them all be in baby's life if anything happens to me.''
Penelope just rolled her eyes at Josie and went to their bedroom. She changed into her nightgown and got into bed. Josie joined her soon. She cuddled up to her back and put her arm around her.
''I am sorry Nelly.''
Penelope was silent.
''I forgot how you might feel and what it would be like to do it alone… I just… I just want that family with you… I want us to have it all that sometimes I forget what consequences could be. I love you so much Penelope and I want to have life with you… Everything with you.''
Penelope didn't say anything, she just laced her fingers with Josie's and they just remained like that until they fell asleep. They needed this closeness that was intimate on some other level. Yes, they loved having sex and had very physical relationship, but being this close was level of intimacy they needed at that moment.
In the morning Penelope woke up first and got ready for work. Josie had work a bit later so she could sleep some more. She spent entire day thinking about the conversation she and Josie had and she hoped that her wife would change her mind about letting Lizzie kill her in the merge. She hoped Josie would be brave enough to fight for herself and them. She needed Josie to be selfish this one time…
Josie went to coffee with Hope after she was done with work. She wanted to talk to Hope and hear what she thinks of the entire situation. Conversation they had didn't really go where Josie expected it to go. She believed Hope would understand her and side with her, but she didn't. She said that both her and Penelope had valid points in things they said or feared and that only talking about things and trying to find some middle ground would help.
''Hope, there is no middle ground in me being killed.''
''I know, but I meant that maybe you could try to fight Lizzie and make that merge a fair game, not just give up now…''
''You know I can't kill her.''
''It will kill Penelope to hear you died.''
''I know.''
''Josie, you have to make a choice…''
''I know Hope… I know I have to make a choice… I will either die for Lizzy or live for Penelope.''
''And how about what Josie wants out of that mess?''
''What do you mean?''
''What is the thing you want?''
She lowered her gaze and looked sad.
''I want to live and have amazing life with Penelope, but I also want Lizzie to live too.''
''The problem is you can't have both.''
''I know.''
''And you can't expect from Penelope to be over the moon about getting pregnant and widowed in span of few months, weeks or days. No one could be happy about that prospect in their lives. Be happy that the girl is still talking to you…''
That got Josie to flinch a bit. Hope was right.
''I often don't think how she might feel and she doesn't speak about it much either.''
''I don't think she wants to put that weight on you. You have so much on your plate and you know Penelope. She will keep it in for you because that girl is mad about you and would never do anything to put you in a bad situation. She is mad about you Jo and she will do all she can to make you happy…. Even in the end having that baby… for you.''
Josie knew Hope was right, but she was not prepared to admit that to herself.
''So, what do I do?''
''I think that in your obsession to have a baby, you forgot to court your wife. So, I think you should go home, make some nice food, light some candles and pamper the Mrs. You know she deserves it…and I think she misses just hot and sexy night without merge or baby talk…''
Josie blushed a bit and Hope started laughing like crazy.
''You know, for someone who has sex as much as you do I have no idea how can you be so embarrassed over talking about it.''
''It's not the same. When things are done it's just two of us…''
''And there is just two of us Jo.''
''It's not the same… Penny is my lover…I can say or do anything when I am with her… I can say things I would never say to anyone else, I can do things I would never do to or with someone else… It's simply Penelope… and it's special with her.''
''Good, than go home and pamper your wife. You need some time alone without the talk about those issues you do have. You need to be just crazy and hormonal teenagers''
Josie smiled.
''We are not teenagers anymore.''
''I know, but I want to believe I will always be a bit teen when it comes to my love life.''
''Didn't want to know that Hope.''
''I know, that's why I said it.''
Josie smiled again and put the money on the table.
''I'm leaving. I have to get stuff for that dinner with Penny… I think our fridge is really empty and I need to get A LOT of things for tonight. ''
Hope smirked at Josie.
''And that is a thing I didn't need to know.''
''I was talking about food.''
''I don't care… I don't need to know what will you buy.''
''Yes, you do… You are one of the reasons why our fridge is empty.''
''Hey!''
''See you Hope.''
''See you Jo.''
Josie spent few hours getting all the things she needed. She went to buy some candles sexy lingerie she got flowers for Penelope and when she was done she went to get the food. She spent a lot of time planning the evening and making everything perfect. Penelope came home around seven and she was really tired. She just couldn't wait to take a shower and crawl into bed and sleep. She felt so sleep deprived and she was the happiest in their small office that the weekend was finally starting. She wanted to sleep from Friday to Monday morning. She opened the door and saw the entire apartment was in fairy lights. She was surprised with this.
''Josie….''
''In the dining room.''
She left her bags on the chair in the hallway and entered the dining room. Table was set and there were candles and food smelled amazing. Josie stood by the table in short black dress and heels. Her hair was up and she looked so hot. Penelope was lost for a moment. This was not what she expected out of her evening.
''What is this Jojo?''
''Me pampering this hot girl I sort of like…?''
''Oh… Should I leave or am I included into your naughty night? You know we never really discussed threesomes?''
Josie smiled and rolled her eyes at her.
''Shut up and come here…''
Penelope smirked and walked toward Josie. She put her arms around Josie and they kissed. At first it was a very gentle peck on the lips but soon it turned into very heated make out session. Both of them realized how much they missed each other and missed this sort of things. It has been long since one of them made dinner and put so much effort for the other woman. Josie broke the kiss and smiled at her wife.
''I have every intention to continue where we left of and even take it further, but first… ''
''I know… Food. You spent the entire day preparing this and it would be such a shame for this to go to waste.''
''Something like that.''
''Let me wash my hands and I'll be back in a moment.''
Josie gave her another peck on the lips and Penelope left the room. Both girls had stupid smiles on their faces and felt sort of excited about this night. Penelope and Josie missed being pampered and having this slow burn build up to making love. Yes, they had pretty good sex life, but they had a feeling that this night would be about something more than a physical pleasure they want to experience. This night was also about reconnecting as life partners not just lovers.
Penelope washed her hands and when she came back, Josie already put the plates on the table. Penelope looked at them and smiled at her wife.
''You made my favorite.''
''Yes, I did… I took some time, I MIGHT have used some magic to make it taste better, but…I made an effort to make it as you love it before I had to use the magic.''
''I don't care… Thank you Jojo… It will be amazing no matter what… You made it so it makes it amazing.''
''Thank you babe.''
''No, thank you Jojo…for this and making an effort.''
Josie took her wife's hand and laced their fingers.
''You are worth it Penelope… You are worth of making so many efforts…not just when it comes to food… But in general… You are amazing and I love you so much…. So much….''
Josie started crying and Penelope pulled her into her arms and held her tight. Josie put her forehead against Penelope's and continued speaking.
''I am sorry… I am so sorry for not showing you every day how loved you are and how incredibly in love with you I am. You are my entire world Penelope Park and I am sorry for not telling you that as much as I should. No matter what happens in life, I am the luckiest person in the world because I have you and you love me for some unknown reason to me. You loved me for years and never gave up on me…even when I wanted you to…Even when I gave up on myself…you never did… Words can't describe how much I love you and how honored I am to have you loving me back… You are incredible and absolutely breathtaking person.''
Now both of them were crying.
''I love you too Jojo… I love you with all of my obnoxious , selfish, evil heart…and I always will… Until the day I die… I will love you until my last breath…and maybe even in some other life… You are it for me… You've been it for me since that stupid afternoon in the library when I watched you play with your hair instead of studying for the test in chemistry of magic. I couldn't take my eyes of you and that cute pout you have when you don't understand something or make a mistake in your formulas or some writing… It was first and only time I failed a test… But it was worth it… Watching you that day was worth any bad grade.''
Josie wiped her eyes and smiled.
''You are creepy stalker Penelope Park.''
''And you've know that for a long time Jojo…and yet here you are….married to me…''
''I know… You were sort of cute and that's why I never reported you to Mr. Williams or my dad. I felt sorry for you…''
''Oh, really?''
''Yes, I felt bad for you… I didn't want to put you in trouble.''
''OR you knew you would be the one in trouble when you followed me to the lake at three in the morning to watch me skinny dip? If you wanted to see me naked, all you had to do was ask Jojo… I would have not denied you…''
''I did not follow you to see you naked! I wanted to make sure you were safe… You were new at school and the lake is not pretty safe place at night.''
Penelope smirked at now very flustered Josie who was trying to make excuses and she had so much fun watching and listening to this. She took a seat and started eating and Josie was talking and talking and making excuses to why she was there that night.
''I was at school for almost a year Jojo… So, I knew the lake and the school grounds pretty good.''
''You were drunk from the party!''
''I had nothing to drink!''
''FINE! I followed you because I was fascinated by you Penelope… From the moment you came to school, I couldn't get my eyes of you.''
''Oh, I know.''
Josie just looked at her pretending to be angry and started eating her food. She blushed thinking of naked Penelope in the lake that night and Penelope knew very well where her wife's mind went.
''So, how was the view from that hiding place? Did you see all that you wanted? Did I live up to the expectations?''
''I hate you.''
''I know.''
After Penelope was done with her food she got up from the chair and unzipped her dress. It fell on the floor and Josie just looked at her in awe.
''Some time have passed since that night…but I will never get tired of the way you look at me when I undress… That mix of admiration, love and desire is something I could live of… ''
Josie didn't speak. She put her fork down and Penelope took her hand. She kissed Josie's hand and placed it over her heart. Josie could feel it beating fast and her heart matched the pace of Penelope's. It was funny how after all these years and all the times they slept together, there were night when it felt like this… Like it's the first time and they were excited and nervous about being together.
''Can I tell you a secret Jojo?''
Josie just nodded.
''I saw you that morning at the lake… You hid in the bush and I saw you watching me…. I never felt so wanted like I did that morning… You looked so nervous and I found it so cute…''
Josie had no idea Penelope saw her.
''Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you say something?''
''I didn't want to embarrass you… I had a feeling it was something new for you…part of your self-discovery…and I didn't want to make it…more scary that it already is…I know I was not the first girl you had showed interest in…but I know that I was the first girl who spiked your interest enough to cross some lines you set to yourself…That I why I didn't say anything…''
And then she smirked.
''And I hoped you would return the favor someday…and you did… I got to see that amazing body of yours and I got to kiss and touch every part of it times and times again.''
''You are something else Penelope Park.''
''I've always been something else Jojo, but it took you two years and few drinks to see it.''
''I saw it right away when you came to our school… But with all our ups and downs…it did take some time to realize you are really not leaving and there to stay with me.''
''Always…''
Penelope kissed her and they took it to the bedroom. It was funny to both of them how nervous they were. Josie's hands were shaking and Penelope's stomach was in knots. Somehow this evening felt like fresh start and a moment when all the focus was just on them and their relationship and reconnecting in all the ways they needed. It felt good to be touched, to be close, to kiss just for the sake of kissing, to giggle and make jokes…it felt amazing to be twenty one and in bed with someone you love without thinking of the bad things and pain that was often present in their lives.