Author's Note: Wow this is late. I'm so so sorry, but real life these past few months hasn't been the best. But I'm back and ready to finish out this series. The next chapter released will be for Danger Island and will definitely be out before next Friday.
Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.
And to answer some reviews:
Gucci Mane LaFlare: Thanks! But I'd harldy call myself a legend. That's Fangren.
TheChrisanthemum: Sorry to boot your favorites. I get it, I'm a band geek too. I'm glad you liked the episode though.
WeirdAlfan101: Yeah, Emma was not my favorite when the show first started. I actually believe Emma's inconsistencies could've worked better if they writer's had done a better job of explaining things. Which is what I'll try to do because outside of one moment I love everything about the Nemma romance. Eh, I won't mind if you don't miss the Band Geeks. First boots tend to be forgettable.
Phenomenal Ultra Instinct: Only one way to find out.
Nicky Haugh: Thanks.
StarHeart Specials: I'd feel the same about the geeks if I was a reader, but plot is plot. I have big ideas for the Vegans, sass is just the beginning. I can honestly say the Carrie Devin situation won't be as annoying as it was in canon. Don't worry, the Sweethearts aren't getting involved in anybody's rivalry. I'm building up to Josee's canon level anger.
That British Guy: Yes, Steven is gay. You think I'd give Jen a romance and not Tom?
Red Rain: Thanks! I'm glad you agree with the elimination. I have far too much planned for the Slackers. Even if I do a good job of hiding it, this whole series in super self-indulgent. And having been friends with a vegan in school I really hated how they were done here. I'm basing them more on my old friend. I think everyone will enjoy what I've done with the Best Friends. But I can't take credit for their placement. I just ripped things from canon and added the extra teams in the mix.
Derick Lindsey: I did for the longest time plan on Father and Son, but Dwayne amuses me too much. I can honestly say Don will not bullshit the Vegans into elimination. I really hate when I have to do stuff like that anyway. I'm not dragging out Carrie and Devin. I'm a pretty bug Total Drama apologist, but even I thought they went on too long. Yeah, I was waiting on Kitty to just go off on Emma and was so confused on why Noah liked her. Well both the Rockers and the Slackers are G-rated stoners so it's not too far-fetched they'd be friends. And even though it's been a while. wait-and-see.
Tempokeep: Yeah, luck's going to be a major factor, just like the Amazing Race. Yes I am toning down the Vegans. I wasn't a fan of their portrayal in canon.
Thunderdragon453: Right now!
Remaining Teams:
Adversity Twins: Jay and Mickey, Best Friends: Carrie and Devin, Bromance Bros: Brody and Geoff, Daters: Ryan and Stephanie, Fashion Bloggers: Jen and Tom, Father and Son: Dwayne and Junior, Geniuses: Ellody and Mary, Goths: Crimson and Ennui, Ice Dancers: Jacques and Josee, Jocks: Steven and Tyler, Mallrats: Caitlin and Wyatt, Mom and Daughter: Kelly and Taylor, Outcasts: Beardo and Cody, Police Cadets: MacArthur and Sanders, Reality TV Pros: Malcolm and Noah, Rockers: Rock and Spud, Sisters: Emma and Kitty, Slackers: Marley and Rasta, Stepbrothers: Chet and Lorenzo, Surfer Dudes: Broseph and Reef, Sweethearts: Angel and Bridgette, Tennis Rivals: Gerry and Pete, Vegans: Laurie and Miles
Just stew it...
Episode 03: French is an Eiffel Language
"Last time on the Ridonculous Race," Don said over the show's title card before the montage began with Ice Dancers, Police Cadets, Sweethearts, Daters, and Best Friends making it to the spice kiosk an Middle Eastern music began to play, "After choosing their spices and cameling through the Moroccan desert," he continued over a shot of the aforementioned teams riding camels in the desert, "Our teams built up a hearty appetite," Rasta was shown eating his stew, "and then promptly lost it," Malcolm was shown complaining about the spices.
"The winners were Best Friends Carrie and Devin," he continued as Devin was shown carrying Carrie to the Carpet of Completion, the Middle-Eastern music fading into the regular recap theme, "and in my book, everyone else was a loser," the Vegans and Father and Son were shown catching up to the Band Geeks, "but we could only eliminate one team," Andrew was shown getting a cramp in his foot, "and last week it was the Band Geeks," they were shown reacting to the news. "I'm a little sad, Andrew was pretty good with that trumpet."
"But that was then" Don said as the recap mintage ended and the scene flashed to him at the Chill Zone. "And this," the camera zoomed in for a close-up, "The Ridonculous Race!" He raised one eyebrow, lowered the other, and flashed a smile so white it served as the flash that transitioned to the opening sequence.
XXXXX
[Unlike the opening sequence of Total Drama, the opening sequence for The Ridonculous Race is instrumental. The intro begins with an overview of the Earth before a hand holding a Travel Tip appears. The camera zooms in, revealing the silhouettes of all twenty-four teams running in three rows: the top row held from left to right the Fashion Bloggers, Mallrats, Adversity Twins, Rockers, Vegans, Slackers, Tennis Rivals, and Jocks running to the right against a blue city street background; the second row had from left to right Father and Son, Police Cadets, Goths, Sweethearts, Daters, Sisters, Bromance Bros, and Surfer Dudes running to the left against a golden desert background; and the bottom row held from left to right the Best Friends, Geniuses, Outcasts, Ice Dancers, Stepbrothers, Band Geeks, Mom and Daughter, and the Reality TV Pros running to the right against a green jungle background . The scene shifts to a map of the world, showing the visited countries being highlighted by yellow dots. The camera zooms in on one of those dots and it becomes the background as three postcards depicting the inside of a fancy restaurant, a beautiful and nondescript beach, and the Parisian skyline are 'thrown' onto it. A Travel Tip then cuts the scene into three sections, each showing the silhouette of a different mode of transportation that are used throughout the race; a train aganst a gold background, a plane against a blue sky background, and a bus against a green background all three heading to the right. A taxi stops by and opens its door as the camera zooms in, showing pictures of all twenty-four teams each appearing during one of the ending flourish of notes. In the end, the scene cuts to the main logo of the Ridonculous Race with a plane that flies across the screen, spinning the N.]
XXXXX
Dramatic music played as the episode began with Don walking across the Moroccan Chill Zone. "Yesterday's Chill Zone is today's starting line," he explained. "Teams must depart in the order they arrived, stating with yesterday's winners, the 'platonic' Best Friends," he continued with air-quotes.
The camera cut to Carrie mashing the button for the Don Box and handing the tip to Devin. "Oh wow!" he said after reading it. "We're goin' to Paris!"
"No way!" Carrie cheered, raising her arms in the air.
\
The scene cut to the French flag, an accordion tune playing in the background. "Paris!" Don narrated as a postcard of the Parisian skyline slid into view, him walking into view inside it.
"Home of the Mona Lisa," the image of the famed painting in the halls of the Louvre slid into view from the right, "tiny coffees," the image of a coffee shop on a nondescript city street slid into view from the top, "and other things that annoy me like you wouldn't believe," a mime doing a routine on a cross walk rotated into view using the bottom left corner as a hinge.
\
"Once in Paris," he continued as the shot cut to him in front of a basic brown background, "teams must make their way here to," the camera rapidly zoomed out to show he was on the observation deck of "the Eiffel Tower and find their next tip."
\
The music continued and a series of shots were shown in rapid succession, each punctuated by a single note: Carrie and Devin running past a group of mopeds, then Devin getting on one, releasing the parking break, and revving the engine. Carrie cheered as the two darted off.
The camera followed them as he drove. She wrapped her arms around him and they both blushed.
XXX
CARRIE AND DEVIN: BEST FRIENDS
"I'm so excited!" Carrie cheered. "Paris is the most romantic place on Earth!"
"Totally," Devin agreed. "And once we win the million I'm goin' back to Paris. With my girlfriend."
"Yeah," Carrie said, sagging in disappointment and missing the longing gaze Devin was giving her.
XXX
An inquisitive tune played as the footage cut to the Police Cadets at the starting point. "There's nothing Eiffel about this Parisian landmark," MacArthur read.
"Eiffel Tower!" Sanders announced as the camera pulled back to show her reading over her partner's shoulder. "Paris!" she raised a fist in the air. "Let's roll!"
\
The camera flashed to a road sign giving vague instructions to the nearest airport, then pulled back as the Best Friends drove past it. "Almost there," Devin strained. "Can you lighten your grip a bit homie?"
A honking caught their attention, and they and the camera looked back to see a head on view of the Police Cadets catching up to them. "Move aside!" MacArthur called out. "Emergency police business!" she continued as the shot cut to normal and they pasted the Best Friends.
Carrie gasped and pointed ahead. "It's the Cadets!" The camera cut to Sanders and MacArthur slapping five, then the Ice Dancers' leitmotif preceding their appearance onto the screen; both posing and smiling for the camera.
XXX
JOSEE AND JACQUES: ICE DANCERS
"Being sports heroes, we never know when the cameras will be on us," Josee explained. "So we have to smile all the time."
"All the time," Jacques echoed. "Even in our sleep."
"It's very painful," Josee added with a slight strain.
XXX
MACARTHUR AND SANDERS: POLICE CADETS
"What's with those Ice Dancers?" MacArthur asked, her partner smirking at her with crossed arms as a harsh drumbeat took over the music. "Do they ever stop smiling? Do they sleep that way? Do they cry smiling? I'm gonna find out!" she declared angrily as Sanders giggled.
"She get's a little fixated," Sanders explained over her partner's growl.
XXX
The scene moved back to the road sign as the Jocks, Sisters, Mom and Daughter, and Adversity Twins sped past... or into the sign in the latter case. Mickey was knocked off his moped and Jay continued on, prompting the boy to get up and run after his brother while shouting 'Wait!'.
\
An eirie tune played as the camera cut to a blood red umbrella opening, then pulled back to show the Goths driving away. The shot panned to the right to show the Fashion Bloggers carrying a rug to their moped.
XXX
JEN AND TOM: FASHION BLOGGERS
"If we'd known the fashion capital of the universe was our next stop we wouldn't have spent so much money on a hand-woven Moroccan carpet," Jen said.
XXX
The scene cut to the doors of an airport. Triumphant music played as the Ice Dancers opened the door and they dashed over to the man at the counter, who looked identical to the one seen in a previous episode.
"Two for Paris!" Josee said, using the French pronunciation. "Do you offer free upgrades for Olympians?" Jacques waggled his eyebrows.
The man tapped at his computer. "Ah yes," he told them. "Free upgrades for all gold medal peoples," the music slowed to a halt.
"Economy is fine," Josee said through gritted teeth.
The camera panned to the right to show the Police Cadets, Best Friends, Slackers, Daters, Tennis Rivals and Sweethearts running over to the counter. Bridgette noticed the sound of something approaching and looked back.
The camera cut to the entrance to the airport. A moped horn honking and an excited "Oh yeah!" from Geoff preceded the arrival of the Bromance Bros. The camera lingered at the entrance and shook at the sound of a crash, then three duffel bags and a wheel bounced on screen.
XXX
BRODY AND GEOFF: BROMANCE BROS
"I love mopeds," Brody, with a pair of heart boxers on his head, told the camera as an energetic tune played. "I tried to jump one into my pool last summer but ended up crashing through my neighbor's gazebo."
The two boys chuckled.
"We shouldn't laugh though dude," Geoff admonished. "You totally ruined that wedding. Even if they did have awesome cake." They chuckled and bumped fists.
XXX
The music turned harsh as the scene cut to the Stepbrothers, Chet was driving as best as he could would Lorenzo holding his hands over his face. "Get your hands outta my face!" he yelled as they swerved all over the road.
"Get you face outta my hands!" Lorenzo shot back.
The camera followed them as they passed Jen and Tom, but lingered on the slowing Fashion Bloggers. "The carpet is slowing us down," Jen told her partner.
"But-" Tom tried to protest.
"Tom," she said sternly. "We're going to Paris."
"You're right," Tom sighed. "Be free!" he cried as he let the rug go.
The camera cut to a head-on shot of the carpet flying in the wind and then to Dwayne and Junior as the elder tried to warn his son. "Watch out for that-" the carpet hit and covered them, forcing them off the road. The camera lingered as the Vegans walked down the road with their moped to a light airy tune.
XXX
LAURIE AND MILES; VEGANS
"Honestly," Laurie said, "even though those were electric scooters, we still decided not to use them.
"Yeah," Miles scoffed. "Between the rusted battery and oil power plant we saw as the plane landed, it'd actually be more eco-friendly to drive a jeep through the desert."
XXX
The scene cut to the Fashion Bloggers running through the airport, only to stop when they came across a battered and bruised Dwayne and Junior. "Oh no," Jen said sincerely. "What happened to you?"
"Strangest thing," Dwayne explained. "A carpet came out of nowhere. It could've killed us."
And odd note played as Jen and Tom looked at each other, then began to laugh awkwardly. Jen laughed first, then Tom, then Jen again, then Tom again, then a close-up of Jen as she laughed, followed by a close up of Tom as he laughed.
The camera cut to Dwayne and Junior looking at each other nervously as the laughter continued, then slowly backed away from the other team.
\
"Twelve teams wait anxiously at the airport to board flight number two," Don narrated over a shot of Kitty taking a selfie next to her worried sister, "which doesn't take off," Reef and Broseph were shown sleeping in their seats, "for another hour and a half," Rock gave Spud an odd look as the latter listened to music on his headphones.
"So we covered it with sad face stickers," the hose continued as the camera panned down an airport runway to show they had actually done that, "which is hilarious."
"But the first eleven teams," Don said over a shot of a plane in the air, "are already Paris bound on flight number one." A reverent tune played as the teams were shown in their seats: the Best Friends were shown sharing a bag of chips in the top-left corner of the screen, Bridgette and Angel were leaning on each other as they slept in the top-middle, Stephanie tossed a chip into Ryan's mouth in the top-right, The Police Cadets read magazines in the bottom-left, Marley watched Rasta dump an entire bag of chips in his mouth in the bottom-middle and Noah read a book as Malcolm slept in the bottom right.
The rest of the teams on flight one were shown: Cody and Beardo reading magazines in the top middle, Geoff and Brody struggling to open their chips in the bottom-right, the Tennis Rivals asleep in the top left, the Ice Dancers relaxing with sleep masks on their faces in the bottom right, and the Geniuses reading books in the top right.
\
The tune ended as the scene cut to the first plane landing on a runway at night. "Flight number one has landed and the race for first place is on," Don narrated.
The camera cut to a flight attendant walking to the loading bay door, only to be smashed into the wall by the eleven teams running out of it. The footage skipped ahead to show the Slackers, Outcasts, Daters, and Reality TV Pros leaving the airport, then cut to the back door of a taxi opening as Bridgette said "To the Eiffel Tower please!"
The door to the taxi closed, the light on the top of it turned on, a sock and sandal wearing foot slammed on the accelerator, and five taxis sped away.
Dramatic music played as more footage was shown: Noah and Malcolm sitting in the back with the latter somehow closing the door on his hand in the top-left, Geoff knocking on the window of a taxi saying "Eiffel Tower bro!" in the top-right, Pete's voice saying "Go! Go! Go!" over a cab's exhaust pipe in the bottom left, and the back wheel of a taxi speeding off in the bottom right. The footage all cut to more taxis speeding off.
\
A stereotypical French tune played as the camera flashed to the top of the Eiffel Tower and panned down, the sound of multiple speeding taxis could be heard in the distance.
The camera cut to the inside of the Ice Dancers' cab. "Gold medals!" Josee cheered. "Woo-Hoo-AAAHHH!" the camera shook violently then cut outside to show an orange cab had rear-ended theirs. Cody and Beardo woozily stepped out and the former shook his head.
"Not that fast," he slurred as his partner bent over and vomited.
The footage skipped ahead to Beardo hitting the button to the Don Box as an inquisitive tune played. "Looks like a Botch or Watch," he told his partner as the Ice Dancers walked over while holding their heads with pained grimaces.
"In this Botch or Watch," Don said, gaining the attention of both teams and the camera. He was standing in between a stack of sketchpads and a cup of pencils on a wooden table with a plain orange table cloth and a man who looked a great deal like Vincent Van Gough, "whoever didn't eat the stew in Morocco," the camera cut to Beardo looking at a smiling Cody, "must draw a caricature of their partner," the camera panned up and to the right to show the Ice Dancers grinning at each other.
"When this local French artiste approves of the drawing," the shot cut to a close-up of Don before panning left to the artist, "They'll receive their next tip," he finished as the man gave the camera a thumbs-up.
\
The camera cut to the wheel of a blue cab screeching to a stop. The eight of the other first flight teams raced out of their cabs and grabbed sketchpads as an even more stereotypical French tune played. Devin gave Carrie a thumbs-up and a smile that she returned, then smiled softly at her when she buried her face into the sketchpad. Jacques directed Josee to do something with his pencil, and she obliged by gracefully stretching out her arms.
The shot cut to Ellody drawing Mary, then panned to the left to show a scowling Noah drawing a confused looking Malcolm. Ryan flexed his muscles and made his pecs dance, and Stephanie gazed at him lovingly. Bridgette struck a standard surfing pose as Angel sketched her, and Marley sketched Rasta as the latter chowed down on a baguette.
The music ramped up as Brody flexed both of his muscles in a strongman pose, to which Geoff nodded in approval. Beardo tapped his foot as he patiently waited for Cody to draw him, and Sanders closed one of her eyes and mimed aiming a gun with her hands while MacArthur drew her.
\
"This just in," Don said as a slightly tense tune interrupted the French theme, "flight number two has landed," the standard shots of the plane landing, wheels slowing down, and engine stopping were shown.
"As teams from flight number two head for the Eiffel Tower," he continued over a shot of the Adversity Twins, Fashion Bloggers, Father and Son, Goths, Jocks, Mallrats, Stepbrothers, Mom and Daughter, Rockers, Sisters, Surfer Dudes, and Vegans leaving the airport, "teams from flight number one strain to finish the first challenge," Brody was shown sweating and struggling to hold his pose.
"Done!" Geoff called out, allowing his partner to drop the pose and sigh in relief. Geoff handed his sketch to the judge. It was a simple drawing, Brody with exaggerated muscular arms with lines drawn to emphasize their already large size.
"Dude you drew me awesome!" Brody said with an audible smile from off-screen. The judge gave them a thumbs-up and handed them their tip, to which the two boys cheered and slapped five.
"Y'know," Malcolm said as the camera cut to the Reality TV Pros. "It's kinda cool how supportive they are of each other. Why don't we do that?"
"I support you," Noah said in slight offense. "I just do it with dry sarcasm. Now face forward."
The shot cut back to the Bromance Bros as Geoff read their tip. "Go down down down," he said as the camera zoomed in on him and a tense tune played, "to the cheese so round where your next tip is found." He gave the camera an odd look. "Huh?"
A squeaking sound caught their attention, and they turned to see a rat running down an open manhole. "Follow that rat!" Geoff cried. He and Brody ran off to the right, but the camera lingered to catch the Police Cadets handing in their sketchpad.
The camera panned down and cut to black.
\
A click and a dark tune began as Don turned on a flashlight. The behind him wallpaper was peeling off of the brick walls, and barely lit torches could be seen around him. "Welcome," he said dramatically, his voice reverberating in the air, "to the catacombs." The light from his flashlight got brighter, to the point where it served as the flash to the next scene.
"This is where ancient Parisians, buried victims of the plague," the host continued to explain as he leaned out of an archway that was behind a disturbingly high pile of human skulls.
The camera cut to another area full of piles of skulls, some even appearing to have been used in the construction of the catacombs. "Teams must use their noses to navigate this maze of tunnels," the shot cut to a skull-free section of the tomb, "and find the correct exit."
"And their next travel tip," his voice no longer echoed, and the background looked much more normal, "hidden amongst these wheels of Roquefort cheese," the camera pulled back to show he was on the banks of the Seine. To his left a large pile of yellow wheels of cheese. To his right, a small stone building bearing the image of a stylized skull above its metal grate of a door.
\
The camera panned up to show two cabs with flat tires in front of several storefronts, then focused on the one in the back. "A flat tire in luxury boutique heaven during a midnight madness event? Come on," Tom scoffed as the camera cut to the inside of his and Jen's cab.
Jen gasped and looked at her partner. "The universe wants us to go shopping!" she declared as an angelic tune played in the background. "It's fate!"
"Seems more like an ultimate test of our wills," Tom said. "Plus we're already behind. No time to stop, drop, and shop."
XXX
TOM & JEN; FASHION BLOGGERS
"If we come in last," Tom told the camera in front of the stores, "we're going home."
"And the longer we stay on the show, the longer we can promote our blog," Jen added.
"Now Trending With Tom and Jen!" they announced together.
XXX
"That being said," Tom amended after seeing the sad look on his partner's face, "it might take him a while to fix the tire..."
The camera cut outside to show the two dashing out of the cab. The camera followed them until they passed the other taxi, then cut inside.
"Oh my goodness," Caitlin said as she stared out of the window. "A flat tire in Paris, during a sale, right next to the writers of my favorite blog?"
Wyatt raised an eyebrow. "You wanna kill some time while we wait?" he asked coolly.
"You wouldn't mind?" Caitlin asked brightly. Her partner shook his head and she squealed. "Thanks Wyatt!" she said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek and dashing out of the cab.
\
Another French tune played as the camera cut to the Sisters, Emma was reading a book with the scales of justice on the front while Kitty sketched her. "So...," Kitty said slowly. "Are you seeing anyone new at university?"
"Yeah," Emma said icily. "His name's international and comparative anti-trust law curriculum."
"I'm thinking of getting a pixie cut," Kitty said after a moment of silence.
XXX
KITTY AND EMMA; SISTERS
"Emma's always been the serious one," Kitty told the camera. "But ever since her boyfriend Jake broke up with her two years ago," Emma rolled her eyes, "she's been suuuuper-"
"Fine!" Emma interrupted, slapping a hand over her sister's face. "I've been super fine. And I don't need a boyfriend," she added. "I need a law degree. And I need my kid sister to focus on the game," she said with a slight glare.
"And a boyfriend," Kitty snakred as soon as Emma removed her hand.
Emma groaned in frustration.
XXX
The music turned tense as teams from the second flight arrived at the tower The screen split into two with the Don Box being pressed on the top and Junior grabbing a sketchpad on the bottom.
The shot pulled back to show the Stepbrothers and Mom and Daughter running off as the Adversity Twins made it to the table. "Come on Mickey!" Jay encouraged as his brother shakily tried to grab a pencil. "Show that pencil who's boss! There's two of us and just one of it!"
XXX
JAY AND MICKEY; ADVERSITY TWINS
"It was a Tuesday morning," Jay said as their leitmotif played. "Mickey's pencil case broke. Pencils were everywhere. He slipped on one and fell down the stairs landing on pencils the whole. Way. Down. He's been afraid of them ever since."
"I can work just as well with a pen," Mickey added. "As long as they don't burst and ruin my shirt..." he sighed. "Which has happened."
XXX
The camera cut to a drawing of Malcolm running away from a falling Eiffel Tower, then to the artist handing Noah their next tip. They ran toward the catacombs just in time for Marley to hand in his picture, Rasta eating the famous tower, that made the artist laugh as he handed the boy his tip.
"Like what's so funny man?" Rasta asked as his partner pulled him away.
\
A goat illuminated by headlights was the subject of the next scene change. The camera cut to the inside of a cab to show that Gerry and Pete had fallen asleep, only to be jostled awake by the stopping vehicle. "Huh?" Gerry asked sleepily, "are we there?"
"You old men never told me where to go," the cab driver told them.
"Hey," Pete said in offence. "We're old-er but that doesn't make us old."
XXX
GERRY AND PETE: TENNIS RIVALS
"We got all the same energy as all the other teams," Gerry said, "from about five a.m to three p.m.," he admitted.
"Yeah," Pete shrugged, "after that we get a little groggy."
Gerry chuckled. "Groggy? I haven't seen the moon since 2003." They both laughed.
"Oh really?" Pete asked. "'Cause I got a moon for ya. Right here!" he pointed at his butt and the two men laughed again.
XXX
"To the Eiffel Tower!" Gerry told the driver. "And hurry!"
The cab drove off.
\
(Commercial Break)
\
The episode returned to a pile of skulls as the Dater's leitmotif played. "If you got the plague," Ryan said as the camera cut to him and Stephanie holding hands, "I would throw myself on your boil-covered body and wait until I got infected so we could both die at the same time in the same way."
"That is," Stephanie said and Ryan looked sheepish, "the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me!" the two started to make out.
\
The scene skipped to Angel and Bridgette also walking through the catacombs while holding hands. "Are you okay Bridgey-Bear?" Angel asked when she noticed her girlfriend nervously looking around.
"Sorry," Bridgette said sheepishly. "I'm just really nervous about being underground after Total Drama. I keep waiting for something to jump out and attack."
"Don't worry," Angel said sweetly, leaning in closer. "If something does attack, I'll protect you."
Bridgette smiled. "Thanks Angelfish."
\
"Remember," Emma said without looking up from her book. "It has to have at least four exaggerations to be a caricature."
Kitty scoffed mirthfully. "I have way more than that!"
"Do you wanna look alive in this?" Ennui asked as the camera cut to the Goths.
"Let's hope you're better at drawing than javelin throwing," Steven joked as the shot cut to him and Tyler.
XXX
TYLER AND STEVEN; JOCKS
"I never heard Patches complain about my javelin skills," Tyler huffed.
Steven snorted. "Yeah," but before you demonstrated those skills we all called him Edward."
XXX
TOM AND JEN; FASHION BLOGGERS
"Getting that flat tire was the best thing that ever happened to us," Jen said, the camera cutting to them at the base of the tower and surrounded by boutique shopping bags.
"I've never shopped so fast in another language in my life," Tom added.
"So worth it though," Jen finished. "I mean finding rock-studded leggings in North America? Good luck."
"Truth," Tom said.
XXX
WYATT AND CAITLIN; MALLRATS
"So you spent all that time shopping and didn't even talk to them?" Wyatt mockingly asked his blushing partner.
"I tried to open my mouth, by my hands got all sweaty and no sound was coming out!" Caitlin complained. "I must have looked like a total loon!"
XXX
A drumroll played as the shot screen cut into seven segments: Carrie presenting her not at all exaggerated drawing of Devin in the top left, Junior presenting a mostly stick figure Dwayne lecturing in the middle left, Mickey presenting a badly drawn Jay in the bottom left, Tyler presenting a drawing of Steven with arms reaching his feet in the top right, Cody presenting a drawing of a mass of hair with Beardo's face in the middle right, Reef presenting his drawing of Broseph's head on an anthropomorphic surfboard in the bottom right, and the judge rubbing his chin then giving a thumbs-up in the middle.
"Let's go dude!" Reef yelled from the entrance to the catacombs as Broseph, closely followed by the other five teams that had just finished the drawing challenge, ran to the manhole.
"Ugh," Jay groaned with a roll of his eyes. "I hope I don't catch the plague again."
"Again?" Cody asked as he, Tyler and Beardo slowly backed away from the twins.
\
The camera cut to three taxis arriving at the tower as intense music began to play. They drove off revealing the Rockers, Tennis Rivals, and Vegans. The Rockers and Vegans ran off with Pete grabbing Gerry and dragging him to the tower with a cry of "Come on, Come on!"
XXX
PETE AND GERRY; TENNIS RIVALS
"It's nice to be back on TV," Gerry said calmly as their leitmotif played. "All our sponsorships dried out a few years ago."
Pete barked out a laugh. "Try thirty!"
"Yeah," Gerry laughed. "The last time he," he pointed at his partner, "did a commercial, the internet didn't exist!"
"And neither did the hair on your ears!" Pete added before the two laughed again.
XXX
The intense music started then stopped as the camera cut to the Police Cadets skidding to a stop in the catacombs near three entrances. MacArthur sniffed around the tombs much to her partner's confusion.
"Okay, what are you doing?" Sanders asked in a mixture of curiosity and exasperation.
"I've trained my nose so I can work border crossings," MacArthur said by way of explanation. "People think they can bring oranges into any country they want. Not on my watch!" she finished with a decisive hand gesture. She sniffed the air one more time and pointed to the middle entrance. "This one!" she decided. "I'm goin' in!"
She ran into the corridor and immediately screamed in terror. Sanders perked up and ran after her partner...
...only to stop dead in her tracks and give an utterly unamused look down. "Get it off me!" MacArthur cried out as the camera pulled back to show her under a skeleton.
"As the Parisian catacombs extend a warm welcome to some of the teams," Don narrated as the scene shrunk to the left half of the screen and revealed Tom posing for Jen with the Stepbrothers and Geniuses behind them on the right half, "others are still drawing the first challenge to a conclusion," the right half grew and took over the screen, then the camera panned to the right past Wyatt and Caitlin to show Kelly and Taylor, the Goths, and the Sisters.
The host chuckled as Jen presented her caricature. "Drawing. See what I did there?" One by one, teams showed their drawings to the judge: the Fashion Bloggers with a picture of Tome with exaggerated lips posing with a hand on his head and another on his hip, the Rockers with what looked like Spud's head on Rock's body playing guitar. They air guitared in celebration of completing the challenge. Next, Caitlin presented a picture of an eighth note with Wyatt's head as the note head, then Kitty presented a drawing of Emma with devil horns and a black cloud over her. She shrugged uncaringly at her older sister's glare. Neither the Stepbrothers nor the Goths' drawings were shown, but the judge gave both of them a thumb's up, and finally Taylor presented a drawing of her mother looking very much like the Bride of Frankinstein. The judge backed away in horror, but gave them the tip all the same.
"Mind if I keep this to give to my surgeon?" Kelly asked appreciatively.
\
"How hard is it to find cheese?" Malcolm complained as the camera flashed to him, Noah, and the Slackers running through the catacombs.
"If any of us was in the lead before, we're not now," Noah said as the group passed a skull.
"Wait a minute," Marley spoke up. "Haven't we seen tat skull b'fore?"
The four boys skidded to a stop. "Aw man, we're going in circles!" Noah complained.
Rasta's stomach growled ominously. "Like that's not all that's goin' in circles man!," he panicked. "Like, has anybody seen a bathroom!"
XXX
MARLEY
"Somethin' in tat stew," Marley said in the catacombs as Rasta ran around the background clutching his behind. "Didn't agree with Rasta too much."
XXX
The scene cut to the Bromance Bros as the skidded to a stop. "Aw man," Brody complained after looking at a wall of skulls. "That's the third dead end we've hit."
"Chill dude," Geoff told him. "If we find all the dead ends, the only path left is the right one."
XXX
BRODY AND GEOFF: BROMANCE BROS
"We're both glass half-full kinda guys," Geoff told the camera. "So, I just pour my glass into his and, we've got a full glass."
"Take that science!" Brody jeered before the two laughed.
"Boom!" they said as they bumped fists.
XXX
The camera cut to a drawing of Pete as a baby, then zoomed out to show the caricature judge hand the Tennis Rivals their next travel tip. The shot then panned right to show Laurie presenting a drawing of a flower with Miles's face and the judge giving them a tip as well.
Both teams ran to the catacombs entrance, and the Tennis Rivals let the Vegans pass them with smirks on their faces.
XXX
PETE AND GERRY: TENNIS RIVALS
"I've got a plan," Pete said. "We'll follow the veggie-heads then rocket past them," he clapped his hands together and stretched out and arm, "and win the whole thing."
"Veggie-heads!" Gerry laughed.
XXX
The shot cut to Cody and Beardo running through the catacombs, then shifted to their point-of-view to show a dark hallway with two pair of glowing eyes appear out of nowhere. Cody screamed and jumped into his partner's arms, and the shot returned to normal to show the Goths slowly walking on screen. "You scared us," Cody said just before Beardo dropped him.
"This place is a little..." Beardo said before mimicking a theremin, "y'know?"
"Really," Ennui asked. "I've never been so happy."
XXX
CRIMSON AND ENNUI: GOTHS
"This place could be an amusement park or a camp for kids," Ennui said in the catacombs.
XXX
The shot cut to MacArthur sniffing the air in front of a staircase. "Roquefort," she explained to her skeptical partner. "Cave aged about..." she sniffed again, "three years."
Sanders's eyes widened. "Hey, do you hear running water?" she asked and both ladies turned to th stairs behind them.
\
The scene skipped ahead a bit to the Cadets exiting a small building with a skull over the entrance on the banks of the Seine River to see several stacks of very large wheels of cheese. "Yeah!" MacArthur cheered. "That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!"
A masculine throat clearing caught their attention, and they turned to see the Ice Dancers behind them as their leitmotif began to play. "Oh," MacArthur said mockingly. "If it isn't the Smiling Silvertons."
Jacques and Josee looked at each other, then she walked over to the cheese and angrily kicked over a stack while still smiling. "I hate silver!"
Jacques smiled for the camera, then read the tip that was uncovered by his partner's outburst. "Take your cheese and sail away to where the Mona Lisa's on display."
"The Louvre!" Sanders announced.
\
"The Louvre!" Don said over another French tune as the camera panned over to the pyramid in the courtyard. "Home to many paintings I was asked to stop touching," he added over a shot of the Mona Lisa.
"It's also the Chill Zone for this part of the race," he said as the shot cut to him in front of the pyramid. "Last team to check in here..." the camera panned out to show the courtyard in its entirety, "may be out of the running.
\
"But the race for first place is kicking into high gear!" the host finished as wo wheels of cheese hit the river, and Jacques landed on one on his knee with his hands above his head. Josee landed in such a way that his hands were all that was supporting her.
"Bye!" Josee said mockingly. "You stink worse than this cheese float.
"Too bad you forgot your oars!" MacArthur snarked back as her partner waved said oars in the air.
"Jacques," Josee said in a warning tone. "You were supposed to get the oars!"
"Darn, it!" he swore.
"What's French for 'Boo-yah!'?" MacArthur asked Sanders as the Cadets passed the Ice Dancers.
\
"If this is what Frecnh cheese smells like," Gerry said as the camera cut to the Tennis Rivals and the Vegans in the catacombs, "I'm officially lactose intolerant." The two men chuckled.
"I'm officially you intolerant Pete told his partner, causing the two to chuckle again.
"Yeah," Noah deadpanned as the shot cut to them standing in front of the two teams. "Expect that smell to bell all over this place.
XXX
NOAH AND MALCOLM: REALITY TV PROS
"Man that Rasta guy knows how to clear a room," Malcolm said.
"I don't even think the washrooms on the island smelled that bad," Noah commented.
XXX
"It is so creepy in here," Tom complained to Wyatt and Caitlin. "I feel like I'm being watched."
"Hey Tom," Jen's voice caught the attention of the three on screen as well as the camera. "I have a bone to pick with you," the camera pulled back to show she was using a skeleton like a puppet. All four racers laughed, but their laughter quickly ended as an ominous rumbled sounded throughout the catacombs.
They looked behind them to see a monstrous shadow and all four screamed and ran away, with Tom dropping a shopping bag in the process. He came back ,grabbed it, and ran away screaming again and the camera cut to the shadow to show it was nothing but a tiny mouse, who laughed at scaring the racers.
\
(Commercial Break)
\
The episode returned to Devin on a cheese float and catching Carrie in his arms bridal style. "M'lady," he said with a charming bow after setting her down, causing her to giggle and blush.
Intense challenge music started up again as several more cheese floats were dropped in the river, and the scene skipped ahead to show the Goths, Mom and Daughter, Adversity Twins, Sweethearts, Daters, and Outcasts all in a dead heat.
The camera quick panned up the river to show the Police Cadets enjoying their lead.. until MacArthur looked back in shock. "No way!" she exclaimed.
The shot panned back to show the Ice Dancers using their legs as motors to get down river as their leitmotif played.
XXX
JOSEE AND JACQUES: ICE DANCERS
"Missing paddles?!" Jacques asked. "Hah! That won't stop us!"
"We've competed in much more dire situations," Josee explained. "Jacques once got rabies from a squirrel but that didn't stop us!"
"I skated dressed as a Saint Bernard so all the foam coming from my mouth made sense!" Jacques told the camera.
"Adapting!" Josee declared it's what champions do!"
XXX
The Ice Dancers passed the Cadets as their theme music came to an end. "Those two get creepier by the minute," MacArthur whispered to her partner.
\
"Most of the teams have reached the water," Don narrated over a shot of the Sisters, Jocks, Surfer Dudes, Bromance Bros, and Mom and Daughter on their cheese floats as dramatic music played.
"But for those still in the catacombs," he continued as the shot cut to the Vegans and Tennis Rivals, "the big challenge is to not come in last."
XXX
PETE AND GERRY: TENNIS RIVALS
"We've made a terrible mistake," Pete admitted.
"I thought Vegans would be able to sniff out dairy in a second," Gerry added.
"Go home now," Pete said, and we'll be lucky grab a sponsorship for tube socks. And I hate tube socks! You never know where to put your heel!" he complained while gesturing to his feet.
"And there goes the deal for tube socks," Gerry sighed. Disappointment that was short-lived as the two men laughed once again.
XXX
"There's the tip!" Noah shouted as he, Malcolm and the Slackers made it out of the catacombs.
"Check out all that cheese!" Malcolm said as he knocked a wheel into the river while Noah grabbed some oars. "We're still in this!"
Marley hummed in thought as he read the tip. "Okay, I'll get the oars and you-" he turned around and gasped in horror. "Stop Rasta mon!"
"What?" Rasta said in defense as the camera cut to him having eaten a tenth of the cheese wheel. "Cheese is good for you man."
\
"The Louvre!" Josee cried out as the camera flashed to her and Jacques. "Over there!" They lept off the cheese and onto a ramp leading to the Chill Zone, but stopped and waved for the camera naturally letting the Cadets pass them. Jacques ran to get the cheese and they both ran to regain their lead.
The music got intense as the Ice Dancers closed in on the Cadets, but they just couldn't catch up and Sanders and MacArthur were the first to the carpet.
"Well well Lady Cadets," Don said, "you're in first place. And the Ice Dancers have to settle for silver."
MacArthur started some strange butt-shaking dance while grunting as the Ice Dancers made it to the mat. "What?" she asked them. "Don't hear the victory music? Probably because you didn't win!"
Josee's eye twitched.
\
The camera cut to Kelly and Taylor silently rowing their cheese down the river, then quick-panned to the right to show the Best Friends doing the same, then again to show the Slackers also doing so... on a much smaller raft.
"Stop eatin' da boat!" Marley complained as Rasta ate another chunk of cheese."
"I can't help it," Rasta half laughed half cried. "I'm so hungry, like I could eat this whole thing."
"Time to put this cheese into overdrive!" Ryan declared dramatically. He tossed his oar in the air... and missed completely, the camera briefly cut to the oar floating down the river.
"Oops," he said before turning to Stephanie. "Babe toss me your oar. I'll double time it!" He declared holding out his hand with his eyes closed. She did as instructed, also with closed eyes, and Ryan predictably missed that one as well. The shot briefly cut to the oar floating away and back to Ryan as he sighed in disappointment while Stephanie glared at him.
XXX
RYAN AND STEPHANIE: DATERS
"I'm sorry I let you down babe," Ryan said remorsefully as their leitmotif played.
"It's alright Sugarbumps," Stephanie said, "as long as you never let it happen again."
XXX
Intense challenge music began to play as the scene cut to the Slackers swimming through the river. "We gotta hurry man!" Rasta cried out.
The scene shrank to the left half of the screen, showing Tom balancing all the Bloggers' shopping bags on their raft on the right.
"Whoa!" Jen called out as she tossed him the last bag. "Don't let those get wet!"
"Don't worry. I'll keep things balances" he told her with a smile that quickly turned into a frown. "But I'm thinking you're gonna have to swim."
"I'll do it," Jen said dramatically, "for the clothing!"
Tom gasped.
XXX
JEN AND TOM: FASHION BLOGGERS
"This is a huge sacrifice," Tom explained as Jen st there with a determined and almost angry expression. "She only lets her beautician wash her hair.
XXX
WYATT AND CAITLIN: MALLRATS
"So we had a lot of fun hanging out with the Bloggers," Caitlin told her partner.
"Some more than others," Wyatt smirked.
"It's not my fault you're not a shopper!" she said defensively. "My point was that we should try and form an alliance with them."
"I figured you'd asked that," he said with a knowing grin.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Caitlin asked. Seriously. what?" she added when he didn't say anything.
XXX
Challenge music started up again as the shot cut to Geoff and Brody making it to the Chill Zone. "Third place," Don told them.
XXX
BRODY AND GEOFF; BROMANCE BROS
"Aw yeah!" the two said while bumping chests.
XXX
"Fourth!" the Best Friends appeared in the top left. "Fifth!" Father and Son appeared in the top middle. "Sixth!" The Stepbrothers appeared in the top right. "Seventh!" the Jocks appeared in the bottom left. "Ninth!" the Surfer Dudes appeared in the bottom right.
The scene cut to the Vegans getting ready to row their cheese, only for the Tennis Rivals to land in the water ahead of them. They blew raspberries at the girls and sailed away.
XXX
GERRY AND PETE: TENNIS RIVALS
"The thing is," Pete started, "your age is all in your mind."
"And in your joints!" Gerry added.
"And it has a little to do with the year you were born," Pete finished causing the two men laughed again.
XXX
"And here come some more teams!" Don said was the challenge music stared again.
"Ninth place!" He said as the Mallrats appeared in the top of the screen. "Tenth!" The Fashion Bloggers appeared in the bottom left. "Eleventh!" The Sweethearts appeared in the bottom right.
The three teams disappeared and more were announced.
"Twelfth!" the Daters appeared in the top left. "Thirteenth!" the Geniuses appeared in the top right. "The Sisters are in fourteenth!" Emma and Kitty appeared in the bottom left, "Reality TV Pros fifteenth!" Noah and Malcolm appeared in the bottom right.
"And if it isn't mister appetite himself," Don finished as the Slackers made it to the Carpet. "Twenty minute penalty!" he declared and a red digital clock graphic with 20:00 appeared over them with a buzz.
"But like why man?!" Rasta complained.
"The tip said to sail the cheese down the river," Don explained. "Not swim."
"But I ate the cheese!" Rasta complained. "Doesn't that count?!"
"You'd think so, but no," Don mocked. "Now step aside and hope you aren't the last to place."
\
"With one team waiting foe their penalty to end," Don narrated over a shot of Cody and Beardo sailing past the Vegans and Tennis Rivals, "the last seven teams are battling toward the Carpet of Completion," he finished as Lauri and Miles glanced and each other and smirked.
XXX
LAURIE AND MILES: VEGANS
"The thought of coming in last made us realize we needed to step up our game," Laurie explained over their leitmotif while her partner nodded excitedly.
"Yeah," Miles added. "We were super charged up."
XXX
The camera cut back to the Tennis Rivals comfortably enjoying their lead until the Vegans sped past them. "How is that possible?" Gerry asked incredulously. "We're athletes! They eat birdseed and dust!"
The Outcasts were the next to be shocked by the Vegans's sudden speed. "Whoa," Cody said in awe. "Maybe we should go vegan."
"Maybe," Beardo agreed.
\
"Sixteenth place!" Don announced as Mom and Daughter appeared in the top of the screen.
"Seventeenth!" The Adversity Twins appeared in the bottom left.
"Eighteenth!" the Goths appeared in the bottom right.
"Looks like someone's got the cheese sweats," the host joked as the camera cut to Rasta and Marley, the former sweating profusely as their penalty counted down from 5:18 to 5:14.
The camera zoomed out to show the Vegans wheel their cheese past the Carpet. "Nineteenth place!" the host announced. "Outcasts in twentieth," Cody and Beardo rolled their cheese past the carpet followed by Rock and Spud. "And the Rockers take twenty-first!" He finished over a short electric guitar chord.
"Oh no man!" Rasta declared whiled pointing off the the left as their counter hit 3:19. "Like here come the Tennis Rivals!"
XXX
MARLEY AND RASTA: SLACKERS
"Aw man," Rasta sighed. "Like I'll be so bummed if my love of food get us eliminated. and you wanna know the worst part?"
Marley raised an eyebrow.
"Like I'm still hungry!" Rasta wailed while holding his stomach
"You gotta be kidding mon!" Marley said in complete shock. "Where do it all go?!"
XXX
The music turned tense as the scene cut to Pete trying to pull the wheel of cheese up the stairs while Gerry pushed up with his back. Pete briefly let go causing the cheese to roll back down and crush Gerry.
Three separate and distinct scare chords played as the penalty clock took over the screen and counted down from 2:18 to 2:15
The Tennis Rivals finally managed to get their cheese up the stairs and were slowly trying to carry their cheese to the Carpet. The music turned slow as the camera pulled back to show they were being passed by a snail.
XXX
PETE AND GERRY: TENNIS RIVALS
Pete chuckled. "It was looking pretty grim."
"I needed a nap," Gerry admitted.
"You sleep at least eight hours a day," Pete pointed out.
"And at least ten at night," Gerry joked causing the men to laugh again.
XXX
The music turned tense as the Tennis Rivals started making better progress towards the carpet. The penalty clock took over the screen and counted down the last three seconds before the camera cut back to both the Tennis Rivals and the Slackers at the edge of the Carpet.
"Slackers your penalty is up!" Don popped up on screen to announce. The four men narrowed their eyes at each other and all jumped to the off-screen Carpet.
The shot cut to the Carpet if Completion to show the four men in a heap on the ground. "It's a tie," Gerry said. "We all get to stay!"
"Not quite," Don said, the camera pulling back to show him and the fact that Gerry's leg wasn't o the Carpet. "I'm afraid you're going home."
"What?!" Pete asked indignantly. "Why?!"
"Your foot wasn't completely on the Carpet," the hist explained plainly. "It was just out."
"What?!" Gerry stood up to yell. "Do you need glasses fool! That foot was in the line!"
"I do not need glasses and your foot was out," Don repeated.
"It was in!" Gerry yelled in the host's face.
"It was out," Don repeated.
"In!"
"Out," Don was now in Gerry's face.
"Iiiin!"
"That's match, you're out," Don said pointing a thumb over his shoulder.
\
"Well," Pete said before letting out a brief laugh over a clip of the two being introduced, "that was a disaster," he finished over a clip of them on the sky walk in Toronto.
"At least we didn't go home first," Gerry said cheerfully over a clip of them making their way to the airport in Toronto.
"Yeah," Pete added over a clip of them on the zipline in the first episode. "Now we got a shot at nabbing some new sponsors!"
"Anyone need a pitchman for some arthritis cream or those bathtubs with the doors so you don't have to step over it," Gerry said over clips of them mocking the Vegans at on the River, slowly walking their cheese to the Carpet of Completion, and smirking as they let the Vegans pass them after the caricature challenge.
"Who's your agent?" Pete asked over a clip of them waking up in the taxi.
"It's been so long, I can't remember," Gerry answered, the montage ending and the scene cutting to them sailing down the river on another cheese float as they laughed.
(Roll the Credits)
Author's Note Post Script: Not the most surprising elimination, but as much as I love Gerry and Pete there's just not they offer past comedic relief. And I'm not in short supply of that here.
Caitlin and Jen are making progress though. Caitlin's already got a massive crush of the blogger, she just doesn't know it yet. Wyatt does, because that's funny to me.
And I'm sure I'm forgetting something.
I hope you all enjoyed the episode, or some part of it.
With that I'm signing off
-TotalDramaFan14
RDP: TRR ELIMINATION TABLE:
24th Place: Band Geeks - Andrew and Elliot
23rd Place: Tennis Rivals - Gerry and Pete