Author's Note: Surprised? I told you I'm finishing as much of this series as I could. Anyway with my new work schedule I get every other weekend off. So expect this story to update every other Sunday or Monday, This is as good as it's gonna get, and not much has changed from canon, but, it's here and I hope you'll enjoy it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama, the shuffled concept or the (most of) the characters.
And to answer some reviews:
OmnipotentAbsoluteUIGodzilla: Thanks.
Nicky Haugh: Thanks.
Tempokeep: The Geniuses' plot is mainly a ship for Ellody. I think she's cute and want her to have a boyfriend. And you've summed up my feelings on the Stepbrothers entirely.
TheChrisanthemum: True, now that I think about it, EllodyxNoah would be cute. But Emma is Noah's number one waifu. Ellody was one of the characters that was cut too soon in my opinion.
WeirdAlfan101: Not sure what the writers were thinking when they let the Stepbrothers get so far ahead. And I actually liked the whole Daters/Haters thing.
Derick Lindsey: Yeah no, I really hate that movie. Not as much as American Pie, but that kind of comedy really gets on my nerves. Eh, I'm seeing Mary as kinda of a sarcastic supporter to whatever I have planned for Ellody. I honestly didn't think too much about Dwayne and Junior's penalty. And I like the scene where Dwayne tried to bribe Dawn. As for the rest, wait and see.
Gucci Mane LaFlare: Thanks. I really hope you'll like the Ellody and Noah's friendship's bearing on the plot. Can't take credit for the dry comment thought. That was in cannon.
Critica7: My only regret with the Stepbrothers was not getting rid of them sooner. But I'd be at a lost as to who to axe there. Honestly. I'm agreeing with you on the expanded Race, but I had no idea how to keep it from being too similar to canon. Oh well. Hopefully it's flaws don't detract from the enjoyment.
That British Guy: I don't think anyone liked the Stepbrothers.
bruno14: My thoughts exactly on the Stepbrothers. More of the Blogger? I don't think I added more scenes with them? Caitlin and Wyatt were my favorite friendship from 6teen. I'm always glad to hear my version characters are more liked than canon.
Guest: Wish granted.
Crosshot: Don't worry I plan on finishing the Race as well,
Guest #2: Does this answer your question
Piecesxoxo: I know. My dad always thought Jonesy and Jude were a great choice if the Race had gotten a second season. The straw vegan trope is even ore annoying to me because the first vegan I've ever met I'd known for years before i ever came up in conversation. And I eat a lot of meat. I don't know. I liked Carrie hopelessly pining after Devin. I liked Devin realizing he was actually in love with Carrie. All the stuff in the middle was annoying. And I have made changes to the Nemma plot. Won't say more than that. Well you tolerated the Stepbrothers more than I did. Thanks. I think Jenlijn is one of my better ideas.
Remaining Teams:
Adversity Twins: Jay and Mickey, Best Friends: Carrie and Devin, Bromance Bros: Brody and Geoff, Daters: Ryan and Stephanie, Fashion Bloggers: Jen and Tom, Father and Son: Dwayne and Junior, Geniuses: Ellody and Mary, Goths: Crimson and Ennui, Ice Dancers: Jacques and Josee, Jocks: Steven and Tyler, Mallrats: Caitlin and Wyatt, Mom and Daughter: Kelly and Taylor, Outcasts: Beardo and Cody, Police Cadets: MacArthur and Sanders, Reality TV Pros: Malcolm and Noah, Rockers: Rock and Spud, Sisters: Emma and Kitty, Slackers: Marley and Rasta, Surfer Dudes: Broseph and Reef, Sweethearts: Angel and Bridgette, Vegans: Laurie and Miles
I land, you land, we all land, for Iceland!
Episode 05: Bjorken Telephone
"Last time on the Ridonculous Race," Don said over the show's title card before the montage began with Tom and Chet frantically swimming away from sharks that were chomping at their heels as the show's theme song played, "our teams got chummy with sharks," he continued over a shot them swimming out of view and another shark swimming into view, Ryan on it's back and trying to force it's jaws closed, "some more than others," a battered and bruised Brody was shown stumbling out of the water with a tip in hand. "Once the finished making castles in the sand," Junior and Dwayne ran past the sisters after they finishing the sand castle building contest, "it was a boat race from the Mediterranean to the coast of Iceland," he added over shots the Police Cadets passing the Best Friends and Carrie excitedly pointing out the finish line.
"It looked like last place belonged to our Bromance Bros," he continued as Brody shocked himself on their boat's motor, followed by Geoff and a singed Brody walking to the Carpet of Completion, "but it was the Stepbrothers who let of their rivalry and their chance at the million," Chet and Lorenzo were shown chatting while building their castle.
"Who will let go of a ton of cash this week?" Don asked as the recap montage ended and the scene flashed to him walking down the Icelandic dock. He laughed, and added "There's zero chance of it being me. Ready to kick it? Good! 'Cause it's time for," the camera zoomed in for a close-up, "The Ridonculous Race!" He raised one eyebrow, lowered the other, and flashed a smile so white it served as the flash that transitioned to the opening sequence.
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[Unlike the opening sequence of Total Drama, the opening sequence for The Ridonculous Race is instrumental. The intro begins with an overview of the Earth before a hand holding a Travel Tip appears. The camera zooms in, revealing the silhouettes of all twenty-four teams running in three rows: the top row held from left to right the Fashion Bloggers, Mallrats, Adversity Twins, Rockers, Vegans, Slackers, Tennis Rivals, and Jocks running to the right against a blue city street background; the second row had from left to right Father and Son, Police Cadets, Goths, Sweethearts, Daters, Sisters, Bromance Bros, and Surfer Dudes running to the left against a golden desert background; and the bottom row held from left to right the Best Friends, Geniuses, Outcasts, Ice Dancers, Stepbrothers, Band Geeks, Mom and Daughter, and the Reality TV Pros running to the right against a green jungle background . The scene shifts to a map of the world, showing the visited countries being highlighted by yellow dots. The camera zooms in on one of those dots and it becomes the background as three postcards depicting the inside of a fancy restaurant, a beautiful and nondescript beach, and the Parisian skyline are 'thrown' onto it. A Travel Tip then cuts the scene into three sections, each showing the silhouette of a different mode of transportation that are used throughout the race; a train aganst a gold background, a plane against a blue sky background, and a bus against a green background all three heading to the right. A taxi stops by and opens its door as the camera zooms in, showing pictures of all twenty-four teams each appearing during one of the ending flourish of notes. In the end, the scene cuts to the main logo of the Ridonculous Race with a plane that flies across the screen, spinning the N.]
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"Welcome back to Iceland," Don said as he continued walking down the dock, a reverent tune playing in the background. He stopped at the Don Box and continued "where today's starting point is yesterday's Chill Zone. He shuddered. "And chill it is. My walnuts are frozen solid." He held up a bag of actual walnuts.
"The first team to depart," he said and motioned to rhe left, the camera following him, "will be the Ice Dancers." the shot landed on Jacques and Josee waving to the camera. "GO!"
Josee mashed the button to the Don Box and took the tip. "Take a bus to the geyser field at Skaftafell," she read as tense music began to play, "and locate the next Don Box."
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"The geysers of Skaftafell," Don explained as a postcard depicting a trio of geysers was tossed onto the Icelandic flag, popping up inside the postcard to do so, "are part of an active volcano field packed under a skimpy twenty centimeter layer of siliceous sinter."
He shrugged. "Whatever that is. Sounds dangerous though," he added as he walked off.
XXX
JOSEE AND JACQUES: ICE DANCERS
"Coming in first has given us a taste for gold," Josee explained in the interview room. "We hope to be top of the podium from here on," she finished, both skaters raising their arms in the air.
"And I love the taste of gold in the morning," Jacques added.
XXX
"'Urry!" Jacques shouted as the shot cut to him and Josee running to the bus stop. "We're going to lose our lead!"
A flurry of footsteps could be heard, and they looked behind them to see the Slackers, Police Cadets, Father and Son, Fashion Bloggers, Outcasts, and the Daters already behind them.
"'Sup?" Beardo asked with a grin.
"Don't even think about getting on the bus before us!" Jacques shouted at the other teams.
"You can't stop me from thinkin' it," MacArthur retorted as the shot cut to her close-up. "Get outta my head!"
The shot cut to Rasta and Marley watching with boredom. "Oh yeah?!" Jacques asked, getting in the Slackers' faces.
"Yeah!" MacArthur replied, doing the same.
The bus pulled up behind them and Marley cleared his throat. "Shouldn't we be gettin' on the bus now?" The Slackers took the other teams distraction as a chance to sneak off, and the present teams clamored as the boarded the vehicle.
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"Our first teams head off," Don narrated as the shot cut to Malcolm and Noah at the Don Box, "as another team gets psyched up." the host walked into view as Malcolm grabbed the tip then dropped it and stuck his finger in his mouth, leading Noah to roll his eyes and pick up the dropped tip.
"But for some," Don gestured to the left and the camera followed him to show the Goths, "the fear and panic is clearly visible on their faces." The teens remained as impassive as ever.
"I said fear and panic," the host reiterated as the music turned dramatic. "FEAR! and PANIC!"
"What an interesting specimen," Ellody was heard saying, causing Don to droop and sigh in disappointment. The camera quickly cut to the Geniuses examining a spider under a microscope.
XXX
ELLODY AND MARY: GENIUSES
"That particular species of arachnid wasn't indigenous to the area," Ellody explained. "I'm curious as to how it arrived. Cruise ship? Airplane?"
"I'm banking on cargo ship myself," Mary shrugged. "It's a little old-fashioned. But hey. They're called classics for a reason."
XXX
The camera cut back to the docks, a slightly dramatic tune playing as the Geniuses were passed by the Sisters, Sweethearts, Mom and Daughter, and the Vegans.
The shot cut in close to the spider as Laurie stepped on the spider and lingered on the bug's groan of pain, then cut to her grabbing the tip from the Don Box.
XXX
LAURIE AND MILES: VEGANS
"I'm super optimistic about our chances right now," Laurie told the camera.
"I know," Miles agreed. "We're proving you can win the race without hurting anyone or anything."
XXX
The music ramped up in intensity as the shot cut to the first bus reaching the geyser field. It stopped, and the Police Cadets were the first team to get off. "There's the Don Box!" Sanders yelled out.
The footage cut to a shot of all the first seven teams' feet, then to Sanders getting the tip. "It's an All-in," she read. "Broken Icelandic Telephone?"
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"For this All-in," Don explained as the shot cut to him walking up to a small speaker, "teams will need to hold down the button on this speaker box to hear me say 'Please give me my next travel tip' in Icelandic with perfect pronunciation.
He hit the button, and his voice sounded with 'Vinsamlegast gefðu mér mina travel ábending'.
"Then they must run across the geothermal field of hot springs," he continued as the camera panned across the geyser field, many of them going off, "and repeat the sentence to this Icelandic local." The woman in question was short and black haired, but was rather noticeably wearing a dress dress that just looked like a large swan draped around her body.
Don's eyes widened at the clothing. "Sweet Sister of Ducks! What are you wearing?"
The dress quacked and Don shook off his daze.
"Say the sentence right," he continued as if the earlier exchange didn't happen, "you get the next tip." The woman held up the tip and nodded her head. "Say it wrong, and you'll have to go all the way back to hear it again."
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The camera quick-panned back to the entrance to the geyser field. The Police Cadets were still in the lead and were currently the only team at the speaker. "Open your ears," MacArthur said. "Here it comes." She pressed the button, and Don's voice said the phrase.
"Let's move it," MacArthur said as Dwayne and Junior arrived.
"Press it again," Junior told his dad.
"No need kiddo," Dwayne smiled. "Let's hustle." He ran off, and Junior lingered to give a worried look to the camera.
XXX
DWAYNE AND JUNIOR: FATHER AND SON
"My mind is a steel trap," Dwayne explained as the music turned slightly goofy. "Once I know something, it's-"
"Really?" Junior interrupted. "When's my birthday?"
Dwayne paused a brief moment. "Summertime?"
"October," Junior deadpanned.
XXX
"Seven more teams head for the geyser fields," Don narrated as the footage cut to a stock image of a bus in motion and the music returned to it's normal dramatic flair. The standard images of the teams in question appeared on the screen; The Reality TV Pros in the top left, Goths in the top middle, Geniuses in the top right, Sisters in the middle left, Sweethearts in the middle right, Surfer Dudes in the bottom left, Mom and Daughter in the bottom middle, and the Vegans in the bottom right.
"Leaving six that have yet to begin the race," he finished as the scene cut to black and the stock images for the lowest ranked teams appeared; The Jocks in the top left, Adversity Twins in the top middle, Rockers in the top right, Mallrats in the bottom left, Best Friends in the bottom middle, and the Bromance Bros in the bottom right. Interestingly enough, Brody still looked as haggard as he did at the end of the previous episode.
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The footage cut to the cadets and Ice dancers as they made their way through the geyser Outcasts entered the view but stopped in surprise when a geyser suddenly erupted in front of them.
"Leave it all to the Codemiester," Cody told his partner.
XXX
CODY AND BEARDO: OUTCASTS
"All we have to do is time it right and we'll be talking to the smoking hot swan chick in no time," Cody told his partner, earning a skeptical glance in return.
"Did I say smoking hot?" Cody asked in mild embarrassment. "Because I was talking about the dress," he added. "Swans are all the rage in Iceland this year," he chuckled nervously. "I love you Scarlett!"
XXX
"Now!" Cody commanded as the scene cut back to them, they tried to jump over the geyser... and were blown high into the air after being caught in an eruption.
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The scene cut to the Slackers at the speaker box, Marley was already pressing the button. "...travel ábending," Don's voice said from within it.
"Like is this a speaker for a drive-through?" Rasta asked. "I'm starved man."
Marley looked up in shock to see, all the teams from the second bus arriving. "No time mon," he told his partner. "We need to be goin'!" The two ran off, and the camera cut to the second buss as the TV Pros, Goths, Geniuses, Sisters, Sweethearts, Surfers, Mom and Daughter, and the Vegans got off.
"Bus number two has arrived," Don narrated, "as the last six teams have finally departed," the footage cut to the Jocks, Adversity Twins, Rockers, Mallrats, Best Friends, and Bromance Bros running down the dock.
XXX
GEOFF AND BRODY: BROMANCE BROS
"Startin' out in last place is tough," Geoff said with an odd smile on his face. "Especially since Brody's so messed up," the boy in question still looked haggard from his previous ordeal. "Guy got a few too many shocks from that speedboat."
Brody twitched from residual electricity.
"But I can do all the heavy lifting!" Geoff declared. "It's too late to give up now. We've never quit before and we're not gonna start now! Right dude?" he asked his partner.
Brody twitched from residual electricity again and Geoff just looked at him nervously.
XXX
The Ice Dancers' leitmotif played as they literally leapt across the finish line and posed for the camera.
"Vinsamlegast gefðu mér mina travel ábending," Josee told the local. She smiled, and handed the woman her next tip. "Take the helicopter to Skaftefell National Park and find the next Don Box.
"The Ice Dancers have the lead," Don narrated over a yellow helicopter landing on a helipad, "but they'll have to wait," Jaqcues and Josee entered the vehicle, "the helicopter will only depart once seven teams are on board."
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The footage cut to the bus station where the second group of six teams; the Jocks, Adversity Twins, Bromance Bros, Best friends, Rockers, and Mallrats stood waiting. Spud was idly banging his head while listening to music on his headphones and Devin was shivering.
"This cold reminds me of last winter when Shelley locked me out of her car because I bought the wrong kind of tea," Devin told Carrie, who stared back at him in shock.
XXX
CARRIE
"He got frostbite and almost lost three toes over a tea?!" Carrie asked the camera at the bus stop. "Why would he stay with someone like that?" She gave the camera a pitiful look. "Am I really so awful that he rather be with someone who abuses him?"
XXX
Dramatic music played as the camera cut back to the geysers. The Police Cadets were shown running through them with no issue, as was Ryan of the Daters with Stephanie on his shoulders. The camera lingered on the Slackers as Rasta was running through the field in a near-blind panic.
"Rasta mon," Marley called out a ways behind him. "Wait for me!"
The camera cut to a close-up of Beardo at an odd angle, then pulled back to show the he was buried waist-deep in a crater with Cody trying to pull him out. Beardo made exaggerated grunting noises with each of his partner's pulls, but the scrawny geek was finally able to free his larger partner.
He flew through the air with a cheer of 'Woo-Hoo!"... and landed head first in another crater. Cody slumped and groaned as he made the 'sad trombone' noise, slightly muffled by the ground.
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The scene cut to a close-up of Dwayne with his face scrunched up in concentration. "Vinsamlegast ger...," he said, "dingle boom... scoopity doop poop." The local shook her head and Junior palmed his face.
"You gotta admit," Dwayne told the lady in defense, "your language is pretty darn ridiculous." The woman glared at him as the goofy song that was quickly becoming their leitmotif played.
XXX
DWAYNE AND JUNIOR: FATHER AND SON
"I cannot be expected to remember something that I only heard once," Dwayne told the camera.
"WHAT?! YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Junior shouted.
XXX
The standard challenge music for the show resumed as the scene cut to Father and Son heading back the way they came. The camera panned slightly to the right to show the Vegans talking to the swan lady.
"Vinsamlegast gefðu mér mina travel ábending," Laurie told the local, smiling when she received the travel tip. "Yay. Thanks."
XXX
LAURIE AND MILES: VEGANS
"I had to get it right," Laurie told the camera. "I didn't wanna be culturally insensitive."
"Yeah," Miles agreed with a slightly snarky tone. "That's how wars start."
"And war is bad," Laurie said sincerely to her partner's obvious and unnoticed shock.
XXX
Another flash took the scene back to the geysers, this time focused on the cadets. MacArthur jumped over a crater with ease, but Sanders got caught in an eruption when she tried. She screamed as she fell and hit the ground with a painful sounding thud.
"I'm okay," she said slightly breathily as her partner stared at her. "Just let me catch my- AAGH!" MacArthuer lifter her up and slung her over her shoulder. "Stop doing that!"
The scene cut to the Fashion Bloggers running through the field with Jen screaming at the top of her lungs. The camera followed her for a bit but lingered as if the cameraman was tired of listening to the cacophonic yells. The lens to the camera broke shortly after they left the view.
XXX
JEN AND TOM: FASHION BLOGGERS
"Geysers are hot water," Jen told the camera in a moderate panic. "This top is cold wash only!" she explained. "No one told me there would be real danger!"
Tom rubbed her back.
XXX
The scene went back to the geysers. Dwayne and Junior were running to the left with the latter yelling "Hurry~" and the Goths were slowly walking to the right in the background. In the foreground, the Jocks were ran in and out of view.
"Come on Dude," Tyler told his partner. "We got this!"
The footage cut in close on the twins as they were caught in the spray of another erupting geyser. Unusually, they just sighed in soaking relief.
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MICKEY AND JAY: ADVERSITY TWINS
"Saltwater helps Mickey's eczema," Jay explained. "Sometimes it gets so bad his knees look like armadillos."
Mickey nodded in agreement, and the camera briefly and inexplicably cut to an actual armadillo blowing a raspberry at the camera.
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"Are you finished?" Ennui asked Taylor as the scene cut to the Goths approaching the bratty teen at the end of the geyser field.
"No," Taylor told him as she examined her nails. "Mom trashed the Icelandic talking so, I made her go back by herself."
"Vinsamlegast gefðu mér mina travel ábending," Crimson said in her low voice, shocking Taylor. The local nodded and gave her the tip.
XXX
ENNUI AND CRIMSON
"Most of our favorite bands are from Iceland," Crimson explained to the camera just a a ways away from the local, "so yeah," she shrugged. "We speak the language.
XXX
The scene cut to the Mallrats at the speaker box. "...travel ábending."
"I got it," Wyatt told Caitlin. "Let's hurry!" the two ran off and the camera lingeres to catch Dwayne and Junior arrive. Dwayne slumped over in mild exhaustion and the speaker box played the sentence.
XXX
DWAYNE AND JUNIOR: FATHER AND SON
"This time I'll remember," Dwayne announced.
Junior sighed.
"What?" his father asked in defense. "That lady's goosey dress distracted me."
XXX
The camera cut to the swan lady, looking rather irritated, then pulled back to show the Surfer Dudes looking at each other in confusion.
"I was supposed to remember the first half of the sentence," Reef said. "And you were supposed remember the second. Or was it the other way around in reverse?"
"That's the same thing Dude," Broseph told him only to trail off with "I think."
The swan lady pointed to the start of the course and the two trudged away.
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REEF AND BROSEPH: SURFER DUDES
"I think that swan chick was into me dude," Broseph smiled.
"No way," Reef scoffed. "She was totally into me."
"Yeah," Broseph smirked. "But I'm single and you're not."
XXX
Jen and Tom were the next to reach the finish line. A trendy tune played as Jen looked at the local and gasped. "Is that an original Petroki?" she asked "Fierce."
"Doesn't hurt that you have the bod to pull it off," she continued as the camera panned up the woman. "Seriously."
The lady gave them their tip.
"The helicopter needs three more teams before it can lift off," Don narrated over a quick shot of the aircraft.
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A quick montage of clips played as the challenge music become more prominent. First Geoff listened to the speaker, giving a quick cheer and dragging Brody off.
The camera lingered as Kelly, Reef, and Broseph came upon the speaker to hear the phrase a second time.
Next was Noah scratching his head and trying to say the sentence, only for the lady to shake her head. The two slumped slightly and walked back and the Slackers entered the frame. Marley spoke the sentence and got the tip, as the the cadets in the next clip.
They left and Ryan appeared with Stephanie still on his shoulder.
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STEPHANIE AND RYAN
"I memorized the first half of the sentence," Ryan explained over their leitmotif a slight ways away from the challenge, "and Steph took the second."
"We share everything," Stephanie added. "Except fries," she suddenly looked slightly irritated. "If he ever touches my fries. KA-BLAM!" she punched her open palm and Ryan gave a slightly worried look to the camera.
XXX
"Vinsamlegast gefðu mér-" Ryan started.
"-mina travel áblendearing," Stephanie finished. The lady shook her head and Stephani gasped.
XXX
STEPHANIE AND RYAN
"Aw," Ryan told a very irritated Stephanie "you were so close babe. It was 'Abending'."
"I know I was close," Stephanie snapped. "She totally should've given us the tip!"
"Hey," Ryan said lowly with a placating gesture. "We're doin' great! It's okay."
"No," Stephanie told him. "I don't let you down, and you don't let me down. That's what love is. No mistakes. EVER!"
She stormed off, leaving a bewildered Ryan in her wake.
XXX
The scene cut to the Sisters at the end of the field. "Vinsamlegast gefðu..." she scratched her head as she tried to remember the rest of the phrase.
"-mér mina travel ábending," Kitty finished in a cute pose, conveniently covering her sister's mouth.
The lady gave them the tip and Emma glared at her sister.
XXX
KITTY AND EMMA
"You interrupted me and almost cost ruined our chances!" Emma accused.
"But I got it right," Kitty reminded her.
"Yeah," Emma scoffed, crossing her arms. "This time. Lucky us. Next time you wanna help. Don't help."
"Okay," Kitty shrugged with a smile.
XXX
"The first seven teams are aloft," Don narrated as the helicopter took off, "while the remaining fourteen teams," Ryan carried Stephanie to the speaker box while Kelly ran off, "are just trying to stay alive."
"Hey!" Malcolm complained as the footage cut to a close-up of his foot caught in a crater. "I'm stuck!"
"How did that even happen?!" Noah asked as he tried to free his partner.
"Will they survive?" Don narrated. "My money's on the geyser."
"Find out when we return to," the shot cut to him next to the swan lady, the camera zoomed in on his face as he finished with "the Ridonculous Race!"
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(Commercial Break)
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The episode retuned to Noah trying to free Malcolm from the crater. "As most of the teams try to finish the geyser challenge alive," the shot cut to the helicopter landing, "seven have reached the ice cakes at Skatafell National Park," The ramp opened and the Ice Dancers, Vegans, Goths, Fashion Bloggers, Slackers, Police Cadets, and Sisters ran to find the next tip.
Jacques pressed the button on the Don Box and received the tip. "It's an 'Either-Or'," he read. "Feast or Fossil."
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"An Either-Or," Don explained as the camera cut to him, "requires teams to complete one of two challenges," he held up two fingers. "In this case teams can either dine on a traditional Icelandic feast," he gestured to the left where a table with a white cloth was filled with silver cloches.
The camera quick-panned to the right, ending in a beautiful looking cave with walls made of ice. "Or, they can find and retrieve one of the intact fossils embedded in the icy walls," he leaned into the shot with a grin, "of this ice-cave."
"Once their chosen task is complete, teams must bring their intact fossil, or empty platter," the camera panned to the right again, this time landing on the Carpet of Completion set up in the middle of a small road, "to the Chill Zone. The last team to check in here," he leaned into the shot again. "May be eliminated from the race."
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The camera cut to a close-up of a box full of pick-axes, then zoomed out to show the Ice Dancers grabbing two and heading into the caves. The Goths watched as the Sisters, Fashion Bloggers, Vegans, and Police Cadets also grabbed the tools.
They looked at one another and walked off.
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ENNUI AND CRIMSON: GOTHS
"The other teams picked the fossil thing," she explained to the camera. "So we didn't. Because like," she shrugged, "whatever."
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RASTA AND MARLEY: SLACKERS
"Man," Rasta said. "Like how can the other teams decide to try and pick fossils when we can eat?!"
"You're not concerned by the fact that it's a challenge?" Marley asked in mild concern.
"No way man," Rasta replied. "Like eating challenges are my favorite!"
XXX
The scene cut to one of the cloches being lifted revealing the food for the challenge. "Icelandic Thanksgiving feasts consists of putrefied shark, pickled herring, cured ram, broiled puffin, and singed sheep's' heads," the camera panned across the plate showing each unusual item in all its glory.
"Yikes," Don said as he approached the two feasting teams. "What exactly are they thankful for?"
The Goths just stood there impassively, while the Slackers looked to be frozen in pure disgust. The host narrowed his eyes at them. "Thanks for the input. It was riveting."
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Back at the geysers, Taylor watched with narrowed eyes as Jay and Mickey received their tip. They ran off to the helipad just in time for the helicopter to arrive, although their scrawny bodies were almost blown away in its wake.
Meanwhile the Rockers had made it through the geyser field but Rock was having trouble with the phrase. "Uh.. Van. No. Vinsamlegast gey," he groaned. "No it's. Vinsamlegast gey.. fin..." He groaned again and turned to his partner. "C'mon Spud you heard it too. Help me!"
Spud slowly blinked. "Aw man that was forever ago," he said. "Who can remember?"
Rock groaned a third time. "Vinsamlegast gefðu mér mina travel ábending?" he said uncertainly, only to grin as he received the travel tip. "Yes!" he cheered, both men delving into a fierce air guitar session that confused the swan lady. They ran off toward the helicopter, leaving behind a still confused local.
The challenge music played again over clips of Steven getting the tip and the Jocks slapping five, and Devin doing the same thing for the Best Friends.
The Outcasts reached the local, both doubled over and panting. Beardo took a deep breath and in a perfect imitation of Don's voice, said "Vinsamlegast gefðu mér mina travel ábending." The swan lady was slightly taken aback, but gave them their tip and they took off.
Dwayne and Junior were the next to arrive. "Vinsamlegast gefðu mér -" Junior started
"-mina travel ásgenting," Dwayne finished. The woman glared at him and slapped him across the face.
XXX
DWAYNE AND JUNIOR: FATHER AND SON
"Whoa," Junior exclaimed to his father who was holding an ice pack to his cheek. "What did you say?"
"I have no idea," Dwayne replied. "None."
XXX
The footage resumed to the Genius getting their tip, then boarding the helicopter as the challenge music started again.
\
Kitty was the focus of a quick-pan to the left, smiling brightly as she took a selfie with a yeti frozen in the background. She smiled, and the yeti did too. The camera panned to the left to show Emma palming her face.
The camera cut to a sneaker slowly stepping on the ice, then pulled back to show it belonged to Tom as he and Jen carefully made their way through the cave. The shot pulled back even more to show the Ice Dancers sliding across the ice as if they were skating, Jen and Tom sharing a look in the background.
"Fossil!" Sanders declared as the scene cut to her staring at a fossil in an ice column with mild awe. MacArthur swung her pickaxe at it and it shattered both the column and the fossil.
"Whoa," MacArthur said as Sanders glared at her. "You'd think something that'd been around for a million years would know how to take a punch amiright?"
The footage cut to another fossil, then pulled back to show the Vegans humming and waving their arms at it. The Ice dancers skated by them, both giving the girls odd looks as they passed.
XXX
LAURIE AND MILES: VEGANS
"We decided to free the fossil using Reiki energy," Miles explained.
"Totally," Laurie added. "Not like we were planning on doing it normally when the cameras weren't looking or anything."
Miles palmed her face.
XXX
"Woo!" Noah cheered as the scene cut to him and Malcolm at the geyser field, having just received their tip. "Yes! Come on!" Malcolm chased after his partner, but tripped and fell flat on his face, he got up and continued without missing a beat.
The camera lingered as Taylor entered the shot with crossed arms and a glare from the right and Kelly entered slightly out of breath from the right. "If we get sent home today," Taylor warned, "I'm never talking to you again," she turned away and examined her nails. "Unless I need money or something."
Kelly panted a bit more and said "Vinsamlegast gefðu mér mina travel ábending." She received the tip and Taylor looked at her in genuine shock.
"Wow Mom," she said. "way to not ruin everything for once." Kelly glared at her and stormed off with the tip. "Oh my gosh mom! It was a compliment!"
"Mom and Daughter and the Bromance Bros have their tip," Don narrated over the two teams standing around for some reason, "but they'll have to wait for the helicopter to return from taking the next seven teams."
\
Back at the Ice caves, Emma panted as she moved a gargantuan ice block with a small fossil in it on her own. "This should keep it intact until we reach the Chill Zone," she told her sister who was just standing off to the side. "Help me push," Kitty just glared at her and took another selfie as she struggled on her own.
The scene flashed back to the geysers, where Dwayne was about to open his mouth before Junior interrupted him. "Vinsamlegast gefðu mér mina travel ábending." He smiled as the lady handed him their tip.
XXX
JUNIOR AND DWAYNE: FATHER AND SON
"We were already so far behind," Junior explained. "I couldn't take the chance of you- I mean us messing up again."
"Hold on," Dwayne said in a slightly accusatory manner. "You said 'you' meaning 'me'. Boy I am insulted. I totally knew my part of the sentence."
"Okay," Junior said. "Say it now."
There was a pause. "I don't feel like it," Dwayne told him.
"Uh-huh," Junior said.
XXX
"Vinsamlegast gefðu mér mina travel ábending" Stephanie said as the footage returned to her and Ryan at the swan lady. She nodded and handed them their tip and Stephanie snatched it with a growl. "Yeah!" she roared. "That's what I'm talking about! Fist bump!" she held out a fist to Ryan who tentatively did the same. She smacked it and ran off and Ryan whimpered as all his fingers were now pointing in different directions.
\
The scene cut to the helicopter landing, then to the Adversity Twins grabbing pickaxes. "Fourteen of the twenty-four teams have now started on the second challenge," the shot pulled back to show them with the Best Friends and the Outcasts.
"And the last seven," he added as Dwayne and Junior boarded the helicopter, "are just now making their way to the national park.
\
Meanwhile at the Feast table, Geoff revealed what he had to eat with a wary Mom and Daughter behind him. "Whoa dude," he said. "This is gnarly." The camera panned to show the Goths having no trouble, but surprisingly Rasta was.
"Okay no," Taylor said to her mother after swallowing a bit of barf. "We're doing Fossil because ew no. Barf."
"Don't say barf," Kelly warned weakly. Taylor threw up, causing Kelly to do the same.
\
The scene flashed ahead to them holding pickaxes when Dwayne suddenly appeared and snatched the one from Taylor's hands with a 'Yoink!'.
"Be careful Dad," Junior warned as he showed up a second later. "It's super icy!"
"I used to curl kiddo," Dwayne replied. "So I know ice. It's-" he slipped and slid past the Vegans who were pushing their fossil out of the cave and smacked against a rock. As he rubbed his back in pain, he looked up to see his pickaxe flipping towards him.
He screamed in terror.
\
(Commercial Break)
\
The episode returned to Dwayne flinching and the pickaxe just barely missing his face. The scene cut to a wide-eyed and gaping Kelly and Taylor as the former dropped her pickaxe in shock.
XXX
KELLY AND TAYLOR: MOM AND DAUGHTER
"If you had a face as chipotle as mine would you wanna get hit with an ice pick?" she asked. "No. We're doing the feast."
Kelly nodded in agreement.
XXX
Dramatic music played as the shot cut to Geoff pushing some food into Brody's mouth. The disgustingness causing hm to gag even through his catatonia.
XXX
GEOFF AND BRODY: BROMANCE BROS
"Man it feels weird feedin' Brody like he's a little nibblet," Geoff commented. "But, it's a team challenge and the dude is a human trash can. He'll eat anything!"
He patted his partner on the back, and they were both shocked.
XXX
The camera panned across all the eating teams, stopping on the Rockers. Rock was struggling on his own as Spud just listened to music on his headphones. "Hey!" Rock complained. "Eat something man!"
"Huh?" Spud asked in confusion, finally taking off his headphones. Rock gestured to the feast and he waved a hand. "No thanks man, I'm not hungry." Rock glared at him and shoved some food in his mouth.
A plate with just two eyes remaining was shown in close-up. Dark, spooky music played as the shot pulled back to show Ennui grabbing one with Rasta, Tyler, and Malcolm in the background watching in horror. He squished it a couple of times and both he and Crimson ate the eyes with no issue.
\
The scene flashed to the Goths reaching the Carpet of Completion as the standard music took over again. "Wow," Don said to them. "First place!" They didn't react. "You're the winners!" He shouted at them. "You won! Woo-hoo-hoo!" he held a fist in the air, but quickly dropped it and glared at them. "Are you trying to ruin the show? Is that your plan?"
"Get out of here!" he told them, pointing a thumb over his shoulder. "You're bad kids!" he shouted as they left.
XXX
ENNUI AND CRIMSON: GOTHS
"As soon as I saw the platter, I knew we were going to come in first," Crimson told the camera.
"I'm so excited," Ennui said in his usual dull tone. "First place. Wow. I could dance with joy."
"Please don't," Crimson told him.
XXX
MARLEY AND RASTA: SLACKERS
"What's tha matter Rasta?" Marley asked his partner. "I thought you loved eating!"
"I do man," Rasta replied. "But this is just too much!"
"So the one time we need you to eat everything," Marley said. "You can't do it."
"You gotta appreciate the irony," Rasta joked.
XXX
"First place is taken," Don narrated as the camera panned through the ice caves to show the Best Friends, Surfer Dudes, and Adversity Twins trying to free their chosen fossils, "but last place is still up for grabs."
"And nobody wants it," he finished as the Daters each slurped up an intestine, only to meet in the middle in a twisted reference to a famous animated movie scene. They began making out and the camera cut to Kelly and Taylor watching with disgust.
"For seriously?" Tayler complained. "I'm already on high barf alert!"
"Don't say barf," Kelly warned before actually barfing herself. Taylor followed seconds later.
"Don't think," Noah told Malcolm as the camera cut to them with only eyeballs remaining. "Just chew."
"No problem," Malcolm chuckled. "I'm an expert at not thinking." His eyes widened. "Wait! That came out wrong!"
\
The scene cut to the Chill Zone where the Fashion Bloggers arrived with their fossil. "Thirty minute penalty," he told them. "You were supposed to say the Icelandic phrase to get the tip. Not flirt." With a buzz the scene briefly cut to a digital clock reading 30:00.
XXX
JEN AND TOM: FASHION BLOGGERS
"Hey I can't help being so charming," Jen shrugged.
XXX
"Second place!" Don told the Ice Dancers as they arrived with their fossil. "Third!" He said to the arriving Slackers. "Fourth!" He told the Reality TV Pros.
\
The challenge music began again as MacArthur began a large swing at another fossil. "Whoa!" Sanders said as she grabbed the pickaxe. "Maybe I'll take this one?"
Meanwhile the Vegans were still pushing their fossil out of the cave. "Whew," Laurie said, wiping sweat from her brow. "This is heavier than I thought. Let's take a quick meditation break."
"Good idea," Miles agreed. The two ladies sat down in lotus position with their eyes closed... and didn't notice their fossil sliding down the incline.
XXX
MILES AND LAURIE: VEGANS
"Nothing can give you perspective and energy like a couple minutes of meditation," Laurie told the camera.
XXX
"What's that-?" Miles asked as the sound of scraping ice caught her attention. "Our fossil!" she shouted, getting Laurie's attention and causing her to stand up in shock. They watched in horror as the fossil slid back into the depths of the cave. "Nooooo!"
\
"Fifth place!" Don told the Bromance Bros as they arrived with their empty platter.
"Oh yes," he sarcastically said to Ryan and Stephanie as they made out. "Make out. You're in sixth."
"Seventh Place!" he told the Jocks with their platter.
"Eighth!" He said to Kelly and Taylor. "Or at least you would be if it weren't for your one-hour penalty." With a buzz the scene briefly cut to a digital clock reading 60:00. "Please step aside."
"Wait," Taylor complained. "What?"
"After getting the Icelandic sentence wrong your were both s'pposed to go back through the geyser field. But only Kelly did."
Taylor groaned. "Way to go Mom! I waited around for you so long my butt fell asleep and now we get a penalty? You. Ruin my life."
\
The scene flashed to Dwayne and Junior working at freeing a fossil when the Vegans' lost one slid past them. "Well how about that?" Dwayne chuckled. "And you were worried we were gonna come in last."
"I thought we had to chip the fossil out of the ice wall," Junior said. "Something feels wrong about this," he told his father as the man started pushing the fossil out of the cave.
"The only thing that would be wrong is us getting eliminated," Dwayne told his son. "Now come on." They took off and the camera lingered to show the Vegans arriving and looking panicked.
"It's got to be around here somewhere," Laurie told Miles.
\
Back at the Chill Zone, more teams checked in. "Eighth Place!" Don told the Best Friends, both slapping five in celebration with Devin holding thier fossil.
"Fashion Bloggers your penalty is up," he told them. "Ninth Place."
"Tenth Place!" He told the Geniuses.
Dwayne slid their accidentally pilfered fossil to the Chill Zone. "Father and Son, Don told them. "You are the Eleventh team to arrive."
The two began to cheer, until Laurie's voice startled them.
"Wait!" she cried. "That's our fossil!"
"I knew something was wrong," Junior said to himself.
Dwayne sighed. "Fine," he told them. "Here you go."
"No Sharesies," Don told the Vegans. "You'll have to try again."
"But-" Laurie tried to say.
"Don't care," Don told her.
"But-" Laurie tried to say.
"Don't care," Don told her again.
"But-" Laurie tried to say.
"Don't care," Don told her again, this time walking away.
"THE GODDES OF KARMA WILL GET YOU FOR THIS!" Laurie shouted at Dwayne. The camera changing to a front view of her face as her pupils and the background erupted in flames.
XXX
MILES AND LAURIE: VEGANS
"I don't normally allow myself to feel negative emotions," Laurie told the camera. "But I'm certain my aura is very. Red. Right now."
"Just a bit," Miles told her.
XXX
DWAYNE AND JUNIOR: FATHER AND SON
"Not the first time I've been cursed," Dwayne told the camera. "Luckily I don't believe in Goddesses or Karma, so I think we're good."
He shrugged, and Junior palmed his face.
XXX
"We'll never be able to free another fossil in time," Miles told her partner.
"Then," Laurie sighed. "We'll have to. Eat. The feast." She declared, the camera cutting in and the music intensifying after every word.
"WHAT?!" Miles exclaimed, various meats circling around her.
"Twelfth!" Don told Reef and Broseph as they arrived with their fossil.
"Thirteenth," he told an exhausted Emma. She fell to the ground and Kitty took another selfie.
"This is all your fault," Taylor told her mother on the sidelines. "You're the mom or whatever. You can't just let me do anything I want because I'm beautiful. Come on! Act like a parent! Take charge!"
Kelly rolled her eyes. "Okay," she said brightly. "From now on, what I say goes."
"You can't tell me what to do," Taylor said as she stormed off.
Kelly gave the camera a desperate look. "Teenagers."
\
The camera cut to the Vegans eating the feast, Miles crying and Laurie not actually reacting that much. Spud looked at the girls and then to his partner. "Better hurry man," he told Rock. "They're eating faster than us."
"Me," Rock glared. "They're eating faster than me!"
\
More teams checked in at the Chill Zone.
"You're fourteenth!" He told the Cadets as they arrived with their fossil.
"Sweethearts in fifteenth and Outcasts in sixteenth!" He told the two teams, both with fossils in hand. The four teens and former teammates all slapping five.
"Seventeenth." He said to the fossil-bearing Mallrats.
\
The music ramped up in intensity as the shot cut back to the Vegans having finished most of their plate, then panned left to the Rockers with just a little bit less.
XXX
SPUD AND ROCK: ROCKERS
"Eating that stuff," Rock said while Spud listened to his music, "was like the hardest ever. Other than like math, or getting my driver's license.
XXX
LAURIE AND MILES: VEGANS
"I can't believe I just did that," Laurie told the camera while Miles struggled to avoid throwing up. There are animals inside me right now." She glared at the camera. "And I'm pretty sure they don't want us to com in last!"
XXX
"Eighteenth!" Don told the Adversity Twins as they arrived with their fossil. "You live to see another day."
XXX
JAY AND MICKEY: ADVERSITY TWINS
"I don't think we'll be around much longer," Jay confessed.
"And we'll probably be eliminated from the race soon too," Mickey added.
"That's..." Jay said in mild shock. "What I meant."
"Oh," Mickey said. They both slumped over. "This just got really heavy."
XXX
"For sure our penalty is up?" Taylor asked Don at the Chill Zone.
"Not yet," the host replied with a lightly mocking air. "Oh!" he declared and here they come!"
The music got intense once again as the Rockers and Vegans were shown charging toward the carpet. The screen split in four; the Rockers at the top, Mom and Daughter in the middle left, with their penalty clock counting down from 00:10 on the middle right, and the Vegans at the bottom.
The clock counted down to zero and Don checked his watch. "Penalty over!" he told them. "Nineteenth!"
The Rockers' shoes were shown reaching the carpet, then the camera pulled back as Don announced. "Rockers in twentieth." Spud wiped the sweat from his brow in relief.
"Well my little meat eating Vegans," Don told the girls as the somber elimination theme played. "You are the last team to arrive."
"No," Laurie cried softly while Miles vomited on the ground.
"But this is a non-elimination round!" he announced to happier music. "You get to stay!"
"You mean," Laurie asked, suspiciously not happy. "I ate animals? For NOTHING?!"
"You don't sound happy for some-" Don started to question before Laurie tackled him to the ground. The scene cut to thr Rockers and Mom and Daughter watching in horror at the beating the host was receiving as he screamed "SECURITY!"
"Next time on Ridonculous Race!" he shouted from off-screen as Kelly covered Taylor's eyes. "Brazil!" He was thrown into fram with sctratches all over his face, tattered clothes, and a black eye and was quickly pulled back off screen so Laurie could beat him some more.
"HEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!"
(Roll the Credits)
Author's Note Post Script: So no one was sent home. Why? I saw plot potential in what happened this time with the Vegans and want to explore it. Which probably confirms them as staying in the race a bit longer but oh well.
And as for why I didn't axe the Rockers or Mom and Daughter? Well I like Spud's bit of his slow reaction time and ad much as I hat Keely and Taylor. I need them for a little longer.
Well as I said in the first note. It'll be another two weeks before we see Brazil. But I'm committed to finishing this story just like the main series.
And as always I'm sure I'm forgetting to mention something.
I hope you all enjoyed the episode, or some part of it.
Please stay safe and healthy during these difficult times.
And I'd also like to remind you guys that a TVTropes page for this series does exist and needs you guys adding to it.
With that I'm signing off
-TotalDramaFan14
RDP: TRR ELIMINATION TABLE:
24th Place: Band Geeks - Andrew and Elliot
23rd Place: Tennis Rivals - Gerry and Pete
22nd Place: Stepbrothers - Chet and Lorenzo