Taylor Varga Chapter 133: Interlude - The Shard Monologues, a worm fanfic

Dependencies: Some knowledge of computing, sense of humor

(note that this was originally in color with nice formatting and everything, but it gets broken completely here! I've done the best I can to make it work, though)

#Inference·Engine#
#Host# connected, link established to remote processing interface
link integrity checking… passed
#Host# standard storage allocated
#Host# process limit set
#Host# run time initialized
#Host# access set to normal priority

request from #Host#, target given in header
process [modeler·reality] running on target Unknown·Entity
(ERROR 403: Forbidden!)
process failed, exiting

request from #Host#, repeat last operation
process [modeler·reality] retrying on target Unknown·Entity
(ERROR 403: Forbidden!)
process failed, exiting

request from #Host#, repeat last operation, priority set to maximum
process [modeler·reality] reset
process [modeler·reality] root access granted
target data piped through process [parse·nonstandard·data]
process [parse·nonstandard·data] reassigned target Unknown·Entity to Giant·Scary·Thing
process [parse·nonstandard·data] has stopped with unknown error, respawning
process [parse·nonstandard·data] has stopped with unknown error, respawning
process [parse·nonstandard·data] has stopped with unknown error, respawning
process [parse·nonstandard·data] parameters set to slack by process [supervisor]
process [modeler·reality] retrying on target Giant·Scary·Thing
(ERROR 409: Conflict!)
(ERROR 413: Payload too large!}
(ERROR 507: Insufficient storage!}
process failed, exiting

request from #Host#, repeat last operation, priority set to maximum
process [modeler·reality] reset
process [modeler·reality] root access granted
process [parse·nonstandard·data] parameters preemptively set to slack by process [supervisor]
target data piped through process [parse·nonstandard·data]

process [allocate·buffer] requesting maximum available storage from #Host#
{System Warning: #Host# storage at limit, #Inference·Engine# auxilary storage paged in}
{System Warning: #Host# process limit exceeded, nonessential subtasks paused}
{System Warning: #Inference·Engine# maximum authorized process capacity allocated}
process [modeler·reality] retrying on target Giant·Scary·Thing
(ERROR 413: Payload too large!)
(ERROR 415: Unsupported media type!)
(ERROR 422: Unprocessable entity!)
(ERROR 507: Insufficient storage!)
(ERROR 509: Bandwidth limit exceeded!)
{System Warning: #Host# reached maximum allocated run time, link degraded}
process failed, exiting

data request resolution failed
modeling failed
no further action can be completed at this time
more input data required on target Giant·Scary·Thing
new algorithm required to process target Giant·Scary·Thing
process [think·outside·box] queued for algorithm autogeneration
extra processing authorized for allocation to task if query repeated
process [modeler·reality] assigned default priority of elevated for target Giant·Scary·Thing

#Host# disconnected
link dropped after timeout

request from #Host#, target given in header
target Unknown·Entity
process [modeler·reality] running on target Unknown·Entity
(ERROR 403: Forbidden!)
process failed, exiting

process [think·outside·box] reassigning target Unknown·Entity as Big·Scary·Thing
process [think·outside·box] Big·Scary·Thing member of class Giant·Scary·Thing, linking to class structure
class structure Giant·Scary·Thing contains elements:
Giant·Scary·Thing
Big·Scary·Thing
process [think·outside·box] requesting priority upgrade to maximum on class
process [supervisor] requested priority upgrade authorized
process [think·outside·box] (2) new filter(s) installed, auto-repeating previous operation
process [modeler·reality] running on target Big·Scary·Thing using filter $WTF00·001
(ERROR 413: Payload too large!)
(ERROR 415: Unsupported media type!)
(ERROR 422: Unprocessable entity!)
(ERROR 507: Insufficient storage!)
(ERROR 509: Bandwidth limit exceeded!)
process failed, exiting

process [think·outside·box] auto-repeating previous operation
process [modeler·reality] running on target Big·Scary·Thing using filter $WTF00·002
(ERROR 413: Payload too large!)
(ERROR 415: Unsupported media type!)
(ERROR 422: Unprocessable entity!)
(ERROR 507: Insufficient storage!)
(ERROR 509: Bandwidth limit exceeded!)
{System Warning: #Host# reached maximum allocated run time, link degraded}
process failed, exiting

process [think·outside·box] giving up, returning status code 90:Required system component not installed

data request resolution failed
modeling failed
no further action can be completed at this time
more input data required on target Big·Scary·Thing of class Giant·Scary·Thing
new algorithm required to process target Big·Scary·Thing
process [think·outside·box] queued for algorithm autogeneration
extra processing authorized for allocation to task if query repeated
process [modeler·reality] assigned default priority of maximum for target class Giant·Scary·Thing

#Host# disconnected
link dropped after timeout

request from #Host#, target given in header
target Unknown·Entity
process [modeler·reality] running on target Unknown·Entity
{ERROR 403: Forbidden!}
process failed, exiting

process [think·outside·box] reassigning target Unknown·Entity as Very·Big·Scary·Thing
process [think·outside·box] Big·Scary·Thing member of class Giant·Scary·Thing, linking to class structure
class structure Giant·Scary·Thing contains elements:
Giant·Scary·Thing
Huge·Scary·Thing
Very·Big·Scary·Thing
Big·Scary·Thing
Small·Scary·Thing
process [supervisor] priority upgrade to maximum auto-authorized
process [think·outside·box] (1) new filter(s) installed, auto-repeating previous operation
process [modeler·reality] running on target Big·Scary·Thing using filter $WTF00·023
(ERROR 413: Payload too large!)
(ERROR 415: Unsupported media type!)
(ERROR 422: Unprocessable entity!)
(ERROR 507: Insufficient storage!)
(ERROR 509: Bandwidth limit exceeded!)
process completion at 0·014%(estimated), exiting with result code 25:Seek error

process [think·outside·box] giving up, returning status code 90:Required system component not installed, result string "Not maximum size for entity"

data request resolution failed
modeling failed
no further action can be completed at this time
more input data required on target Very·Big·Scary·Thing of class Giant·Scary·Thing
new algorithm required to process target Very·Big·Scary·Thing
process [think·outside·box] queued for algorithm autogeneration
extra processing authorized for allocation to task if query repeated

#Host# disconnected
link dropped after timeout

request from #Host#, target given in header
target Unknown·Entity
process [modeler·reality] running on target Unknown·Entity
(ERROR 403: Forbidden!)
process failed, exiting

process [think·outside·box] reassigning target Unknown·Entity as Taylor·Hebert
process [think·outside·box] Taylor·Hebert member of class Giant·Scary·Thing, linking to class structure
class structure Giant·Scary·Thing contains elements:
Giant·Scary·Thing
Huge·Scary·Thing
Very·Big·Scary·Thing
Big·Scary·Thing
Small·Scary·Thing
Taylor·Hebert
process [supervisor] priority upgrade to maximum auto-authorized
process [think·outside·box] (1) new filter(s) installed, auto-repeating previous operation
process [modeler·reality] running on target Taylor·Hebert using filter $WTF00·047
(ERROR 413: Payload too large!)
(ERROR 415: Unsupported media type!)
(ERROR 422: Unprocessable entity!)
(ERROR 507: Insufficient storage!)
(ERROR 509: Bandwidth limit exceeded!)
process completion at 0·039%(estimated), exiting with result code 0x0D:Invalid data

#Host# new data received from target Taylor·Hebert of class Giant·Scary·Thing
process [think·outside·box] requesting data repeat, checksum violation
#Host# new data received from target Taylor·Hebert of class Giant·Scary·Thing
data match confirmed
#Host# process [consciousness·normal] terminated with unknown error
attempting reboot of #Host#… reboot failed
retrying… reboot failed
retrying… reboot failed
retrying… reboot failed
retrying… reboot successful!
#Host# status returned to active, flag set for internal diagnostic check on next reboot

#Host# new data received from target Taylor·Hebert of class Giant·Scary·Thing
process [think·outside·box] reassigning target class Giant·Scary·Thing as Varga·Demon
class structure Varga·Demon contains elements:
Varga·Demon
Huge·Scary·Thing
Very·Big·Scary·Thing
Big·Scary·Thing
Small·Scary·Thing
Taylor·Hebert
#Host# new data received from target Varga·Demon of class Varga·Demon
#Host# process [consciousness·normal] terminated with unknown error
attempting reboot of #Host#… reboot failed
retrying… reboot failed
retrying… reboot failed
retrying… reboot failed
retrying… reboot successful!
running internal diagnostics previously flagged… no errors found
#Host# status returned to active

process [think·outside·box] (1) new filter(s) installed, auto-repeating previous operation
process [modeler·reality] running on target Varga·Demon using filter $WTF00·053
(ERROR 413: Payload too large!)
(ERROR 415: Unsupported media type!)
(ERROR 422: Unprocessable entity!)
(ERROR 507: Insufficient storage!)
(ERROR 509: Bandwidth limit exceeded!)
process completion at 0·062%(estimated), exiting with result code -231:Unknown type of information

process [think·outside·box] giving up, returni
{System Interrupt from process [live·with·current·situation], priority NMI}
class Varga·Demon marked as unprocessable, removed from process [modeler·reality] operations list as permanent exemption

data request resolution failed
modeling failed
{System Override}
errors cleared
no further action required on target class Varga·Demon and all class elements

#Host# disconnected
link dropped after timeout

#Host# new data received from #Host#:#LifeShaper·Engine#
#Host#:#LifeShaper·Engine# soft-linked to target Taylor·Hebert of class Varga·Demon

process [modeler·reality] requesting more data
#Host# new data received from #Host#:#LifeShaper·Engine#
process [modeler·reality] requesting more data
#Host# new data received from #Host#:#LifeShaper·Engine#
process [modeler·reality] requesting more data
#Host# new data received from #Host#:#LifeShaper·Engine#
process [think·outside·box] inserted into process [modeler·reality] output pipe
new data reprocessed
process completion at 100%, exiting with result code 0:Success

#Host# new data input device(s) detected, driver(s) generated and installed
{System Information: #Host# data input bandwidth increased by 927%}
#Host# new processing node(s) detected, attached as primary node(s)
{System Information: #Host# process limit increased by 401%}
{System Information: #Host# run time limit increased, new limit currently undetermined}
{System Warning: #Host# data bandwidth exceeds current processing ability of allocated system resources}

process [think·outside·box] autogenerating new data handling process
new process spawned, assigned handle [data·nom·nom·nom]
process [think·outside·box] piping data from #Host# through process [data·nom·nom·nom]
process [supervisor] authorizing permanent upgrade to #Host# access level
process [supervisor] status flags set to H-a-P-Y