Chapter 9

"He is your friend?"

Kaya asked, quite startled. Nate was Prompto's friend, and just happened to see him drop Kaya off at the library. He was merely curious to know who she was and actually found her pretty.

Prompto couldn't hold back a laugh nodding and looked at Kaya, she seemed so annoyed at Nate for whatever reasons. It seemed he gave it his all to annoy Kaya and succeeded.

"He is a friend from school. I wasn't expecting him to be at the library since he doesn't like to sit still for too long. I hope he didn't trouble too much?" Prompto asked, that ever green smile never fading off his face. Kaya looked out of the window sighing. She wasn't used to talkative people, not now... people who gave a content, excited and almost 'happy' vibe nowadays were difficult to be around for her.

Prompto's humor seeping back into his bones as he noticed Kaya was quiet again. He wondered if Noctis had said something to her last night.

"What's... the matter...?" the blonde asked, his gaze shifting towards Kaya for a moment before going back to the road. She was worried... worried if she would ever be able to fulfill Regis' expectations. He had asked her to look after Noctis but how can she do that when the husband isn't around... at all?

She had noticed the smile on Noctis' face when he came back home last night, he was glowing with content. It was almost like this Lunafreya just filled him up with happiness just by existing, the thought made Kaya slightly upset, almost jealous. She couldn't help but wonder what was it like to be... Her.

"What's she like?" Kaya asked, looking at Prompto for a moment. He didn't need to think too much about who she meant.

"Lunafreya...? well... I haven't actually known her as well as Noctis but I guess she is nice, you know? the only difference between her and everyone else I guess is that she knows when to be a lady and when to be a girl?" Prompto replied trying to put into words that vibe that he gets from the said woman. Kaya could only listen, she was getting what Prompto was trying to say.

"I mean, she is head strong, caring, but..." Prompto added running out of the words, his tone low and contained. His gaze often shifting to Kaya's face.

"Its Okay..." Kaya replied giving him an assuring smile before looking away. Prompto couldn't possibly tell what was it about Lunafreya that Noctis admired so much.

Later...

the rest of the ride wasn't very conversful as Kaya seemed to be lost in her own thoughts and Prompto didn't say much. She would occasionally look at the blonde and manage a smile as if to apologize for the inconvenience of this awkward silence. Prompto didn't mind though, he understood how hard it was for her to deal with this situation. She didn't even have a friend to talk to about things. He wanted to make her feel like she wasn't unnoticed at least.

when they returned to the apartment, Kaya thought it would be rude to just let Prompto leave like that so she offered him coffee but the blonde accepted only on the condition that he would be the one making it and Kaya appreciated every moment of attention that she was given. She was thankful to have someone around, the empty apartment just filled her up with unease and meaningless insecurities.

"Thank you but you don't have to do this." Kaya said wearing a formal smile as Prompto handed her the cup. She wondered if the reason behind the blonde's kindness was sympathy.

"Come on, that's the least I can do for a friend?" He replied flashing a smile so genuine that Kaya's assumptions faltered. She never had friends, the last time she had needed someone to talk to and had anyone around was so long ago that she had forgotten about it. Her sister always paid attention and dug it out of Kaya, whatever was bothering her and she appreciated it.

"I'm your friend?" She asked, relieved slightly. She didn't think she was 'modern' enough to fit in the criteria of a friend for him, even Noctis. How nodded with sheepish grin before sipping from his cup.

"So... what are we having for lunch?" He asked, hoping to start a meaningless conversation so the occasional silence wouldn't last too long. Kaya looked up at Prompto and shrugged her shoulders, she wasn't very picky when it came to food.

"Noct...Noctis said he would come pick me up and we will have lunch... out...?" Her responses ended in a questioning tone because the expression Prompto had on his face spoke of something that he didn't know how to say. She wondered what was it about.

"What?" She asked, placing the cup down and turned her entire attention towards Prompto just stared at her not knowing what to say. She was already so upset and then this...

"Well...actually, Noct called me before I came to pick you up?" Prompto began and Kaya could feel the weight of uncertainty in his tone. She was slowly getting aware of what was about to be stated and it didn't surprise her as much as it would hurt.

"Something came up. Something important so He won't be able to take yo-"

"Take me out for lunch?" Kaya finished for him and Prompto nodded, his expression saddening. He really wished he could make things better for her. Kaya didn't want to deal with the sudden thousands of feelings rushing through her, needing a moment to herself she quickly got up.

"Its alright uh...w-why don't we order something? Do you like pizza? yes. Let's have some pizza... I... I'll be back in a minute, I have to change. Why don't you make a call to order to till then?" She said, her words slipping out of her mouth as if she was just trying to say, anything at all and before Prompto could even say something she disappeared into the bedroo closing the door. She didn't know why, even though she knew she shouldn't be, she was feeling upset, abandoned and somewhat wronged...

She was sure the reason Noctis couldn't come for lunch was Luna. Of course, they are in a relationship so why won't they be spending every minute they could with each other? It was stupid of her to think that despite Luna being there, Noctis would actually give her attention just so she wouldn't feel used? why would he think that getting her hopes up then letting them drop would hurt? It made sense, even still. Lunafreya loved him. He loved her. She deserved everything she was getting but what about her? what was she? did she deserve anything? anything at all?

She stood there, resting her head against the cool surface of the door and closed her eyes. Everything felt so heavy. Truth felt so heavy. She held a sob, her heart drumming inside her chest. She shouldn't be feeling so weak. It was going to be like this, forever. She should get used to this. Being left out.

"It's Okay... you're fine. You HAVE to be fine...there is no other choice." She whispered to herself, her tone breaking at the very end. It was just a damned lunch... she could have ate anything she wanted and anywhere she wanted right? It didn't make any difference whether Noctis was there with her or not. He had made it clear on the very first day that they were nothing more than responsabilites to each other. It didn't matter if you put your heart into it or not... you just have to do it.

as Kaya had suggested, Prompto ordered pizza with a blind guess that she liked cheese one and she did. for the rest of the day, Kaya talked about how annoying Nate had been and Prompto did his best to defend his friend, she could tell he knew this Nate well.

"He talks too much." Kaya whined adjusting the cushions behind herself and leaned against them, yawning. It was about 7 pm now and she was already wanting to head to bed.

"I talk too much as well. am I annoying you as well?" He asked turning to look at Kaya who shook her head with a maintained smile. She didn't care much for talkative people, but Prompto was anything but annoying unlike Nate.Thfew moments later the doorbell rang and both of them went quiet. Kaya knew who it was and she felt every single unpleasant feeling rose up inside herself and Promto felt annoyance wash over him. He gestured Kaya to stay and went to get the door for whoever it was.

"I'm sorry I'm l- what are you doing here?" Noctis spoke, startled to Prompto at the door and not Kaya. He stepped aside to let Noctis inside and Kaya straightened up, her gaze mainly at the husband.

"I didn't know you were still here." Noctis said, feeling weight uponhhis chest as his gaze met with Kaya's. He felt bad for promising to accompany her for lunch then changing the mind for whatever reasons. He decided a proper apology wouldn't be enough.

"So... Have you guys had dinner?" Noctis asked, wanting to make a conversation to suppress the heavy feeling of guilt weighing him down.

"I don't feel like eating." Kaya replied looking away for a moment. She didn't need to treat Noctis dryly, did she?

"Me too. Have you had it?" Prompto asked, to which Noctis responded with a sigh. Their dry tones and narrowed gaze were enough to let him know that they were upset.

"Look, guys I'm sor-"

"Uh huh. I don't want any apology. It's already late so I'm out of here." Prompto interrupted grabbing his jacket and looked at Kaya who returned the gaze for a split second. He managed a faint smile, assuring her in his way that it was Okay to feel upset, after all it was Noctis' fault, before making his way out leaving the two to their thoughts and decisions.

Silence filled up the space between Kaya and Noctis, the husband trying to think of any way to start apologizing and explaining with. Kaya didn't want to force him to accept his mistake when he didn't think he made one, finding it meaningless even if that were to happen. She stood up adjusting her clothes and looked at Noctis.

"If you haven't had dinner, get changed. I'll cook something up." Kaya spoke, before making her way into the kitchen. Her tone was dry and Noctis could feel upset emanating from her. He didn't think Luna would force him to stay for lunch and then dinner even.

Noctis took a deep breath, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"I haven't... I mean, I am not hungry. I had dinner with Luna." He replied watching as Kaya came back from the kitchen, staring at him quietly. It happened, and would happen again and again, so why not get used to it?

"Okay then, you should get changed and get to bed." Kaya said,stealing her gaze away and headed for the bedroom when she felt Noctis reach for her hand, stopping in her tracks.

"Kaya, why?" He asked, not knowing why she always forgave him for everything.

She stared at the floor for a while before turning to look at him. Her expression blank and her tone dry, that was her way of containing herself. She didn't want to break down before him when he didn't care.

"Why what?" She asked, looking up at him. Her gaze intently locked with his.

"Why don't you say anything to me? I didn't spend the time with you when I said I would. Don't you have anything to ask me? Or say to me?"

Letting out a heavy sigh, Kaya slipped her hand out of Noctis' grasp and stepped back. She didn't want to deal with this feeling of abandonment anymore.

"I just have to say this." Even though she didn't want, she should.

"Don't make promises you can't keep." She said and Noctis could see the disappointment held in her eyes for him. He needed to apologize, but didn't think anything he said would be enough.

"I'm sorr-"

"I'm not talking about the promise you made to me." She interrupted, feeling braver than before. She never had words for herself but for the families that held expectations for this marriage, she had more than she needed.

"But the promise you made to Sir Regis, the promise you made to my family. I don't know if you can afford to hurt them or not but I can't." She added, not really knowing what she wanted to say about herself and her feelings right now.

Noctis couldn't help but feel the weight of his mistakes, the words were awfully true and heavy when coming out of her mouth.

"Please... just get changed and get to bed." She insisted before making strolling off. Noctis didn't know where to begin, letting out a heavy sigh he followed Kaya inside.

Having spent the day with Luna, he was actually very happy and when he was happy he grew sensitive to his feelings and right now he felt extremely caught up into his thoughts.

She slipped under the covers and sat there, patiently watching Noctis grab his clothes. Seeing him yawn, she could feel her own fatigue rise up and she yawned softly closing her eyes for a moment.

today had been very upsetting for her, first of all Noctis leaving without even touching the breakfast, then that annoying person at the library then again Noctis never coming for lunch and now his unnecessary apologies. She didn't want hear anymore of the sorries. She was starting to hate the term.

"I'm sorry." Kaya opened her eyes slightly and looked towards Noctis who had just got into the bed, pulling the blankets over himself. He was watching Kaya with an expression that she couldn't quite understand. He seemed sad then at the same time upset, upset at himself almost. Regret was glistening onto his features and she felt the need to comfort him. For still, she was his wife. She cared about him. It was her job to look after him and be there for him when he needed her.

She took a breath before shifting closer to him, close enough to be sitting next to him, their shoulders touching.

"Don't apologize to me..." She whispered looking at him, a faint smile adorning her lips. She couldn't stay upset at him. She understood that the weight of this marriage was way heavier upon him then herself.

"Apologize to yourself. you've been very unkind to yourself..." she whispered, her eyes closing on their own, another soft yawn escaped her lips and she let her head rested against Noctis' shoulder who stared at her quietly. Kaya really was weird, one moment she is upset with him for having left her then the next moment she is pitying him when she is the one that's been hurt.

"Why are you so nice to me?" Noctis whispered before letting his head lean back and closed his eyes.

"Because you are not. To yourself..." She replied, her tone low and before she could even finish her sentence she drifted off. It was true. Noctis wasn't nice to himself. If you think about it, he tries to give Lunafreya time so she doesn't feel left out, because he loves her. He tries to be there for Kaya because he doesn't want her to feel alone, doesn't want her to deal with such a complicated life on her own. He tried to do what his father wanted him because he didn't want to hurt him.

He just ever wanted to go on a lifelong roadtrip with his friends and not give a damn about anyone's feelings. But the reason he stayed and despite making such wrong decisions, despite having thrown himself into such complicated situation, he didn't run was because he cared. He cared about everyone but himself.

"I need a break..."