Deekin was furiously scribbling in my notebook as I recounted Undermountain and the Underdark. I was going into detail which I'd neither the time nor the energy for, in the Reaper's Nexus. I chewed thoughtfully on my bland dinner as I explained everything he'd missed with the bizarre air of indifference that time caused.

Valen would interject occasionally, adding — or more commonly countering — my interpretations, as he laid out the individual components of his armour to dry, emerald green metal strewn all across the floor.

We'd started in the main room, as we had the night prior, but we quickly found ourselves on the receiving end of unwavering attention from the tavern's devils, retreating from the freshly stained table — dark with Swift's blood — and their considering smiles with a single loaf of bread in hand. It had been a unanimous decision, even Deekin appearing uncomfortable and jumpy until we'd locked out room's door.

The conversation had been strained since the cave, none of us wanting to discuss what Aribeth might be going through, and all three of us unwilling to acknowledge that it was our last night in a warm bed. Valen and I hadn't spoken directly to each other since entering the room, his eyes darting away every time I dared to glance in his direction.

Despite it all, Valen's smile still came easier than usual as I recanted our adventures with the little kobold.

Valen was currently assisting in my retelling of the beholder hive, the tiefling lifting his fingers to his head like antennae and smirking at my scrunched up face. I tugged a bit of bread off and chucked it at his head.

"Boss kill beholder boss?" Deekin asked skeptically.

Indignant, I opened my mouth to reply, only to be cut off by Valen.

"Oh, she was fearsome," Valen told Deekin, immediately making me lift an eyebrow in suspicion. To me, he said; "However, I would have preferred you to have been on our side, for more of it."

The second piece of bread caught him square on the forehead.

He waved the crumbs away with a chuckle. "Thankfully your aim didn't strike as true that day, or Nathyrra and I would both be worse off."

My stomach clenched again at the drow's name, and I wondered, not for the first time, how she was faring. Despite our differences, I hoped that she and the Seer were safe.

At Deekin's expectant gaze, I rolled my eyes, before being forced to explain to the curious kobold how I'd been hit by one of the beholder's rays, accidentally attacking the drow and tiefling instead of the beholder's in my confusion.

I didn't like how long Deekin took to jot that part of the story down, before rolling his eyes up to me. "Why you gots to make little Deekin's job harder?"

I added, quite pointedly, that it had barely been for a minute, before quickly moving onto Drearing's Deep.

At least that painted me in a slightly better light. Except for the dying and the disagreements…

I sighed.

Deekin asked question after question, nodding along as he scribbled everything down. I glossed over the details of the inscribed gong, glancing at Valen nervously, but he didn't say anything; listening intently with a curious tilt to his head.

He didn't even interject when I failed to mention that I'd almost become a vampire's snack!

If Deekin noticed the tiefling's sudden silence he didn't say anything, so enwrapped in the tale he was, eyes alight in wonder, the faintest note of jealousy in his tone.

Valen's brilliant blue eyes found my own and held as I soberly told Deekin of the deva, the tone of my voice making her fate clear even before I got to that part.

Despite my fears, I felt no judgment when I mentioned my standoff with the dracolich and his phylactery, Deekin seemingly unsurprised at my attempt at negotiations as Valen grimaced at the memory of his death.

When I finally got to the part about my own death Deekin stilled, eyes snapping up to me as I spoke. "Again, Boss?" His tone held all the exasperation in the world.

I chuckled nervously, scratching at my chin as I told Deekin how I'd died, in as few words as possible, the memory of the dragon's breath so distant it felt almost like it belonged to someone else.

Gods, it had barely been more than a week ago…

Valen's eyes widened slightly in understanding before he said; "I'd been so sure that you were dead." His grim voice didn't give anything away. "And then when I realised that you were not, it had not occurred to me to question it."

I gave a flat smile, feeling suddenly very uncomfortable. "Being linked to a devil has its pros," I waved around the room. "And cons."

A beat, and then; "Why didn't you say anything?" Valen asked.

The scratching of Deekin's pen returned, pausing every few moments as he glanced up at the two of us.

I blinked at him. Why didn't I say anything? I opened my mouth to reply, before frowning and closing it again.

"I don't know," I eventually admitted. "At first I thought you knew… and then when you didn't say anything it seemed an odd thing to bring up."

He shook his head in disbelief, and I realised that it was not at my words but at the honest truth of them.

"Dying for the sake of a mistrustful man like me," he smiled, before glancing at Deekin. "Write that down, kobold. What she left out was that — only the day before — I had told her in no plain terms that I did not trust her."

I felt a blush rise on my cheeks, before waving of his compliment with a scoff.

Smirking, I leaned across the bed to Deekin's notes. "Make that, 'the noble hero realised that she really didn't want to face down a dragon and took a much-needed nap as the tiefling did all the heavy lifting'."

I paused, eyes on Deekin's notes and about to say more, before realising what the words on the paper actually said.

A blush rose on my cheeks as I glanced nervously up at Valen before they went back down to the page.

Observant little shit!

Deekin at least had the decency to look sheepish as he pulled his notebook to his chest defensively

Valen glanced between us, leaning forward and tilting his head.

"Deekin thought it sell better this way." He defended himself with a shrug.

I glanced back at Deekin, eyes widening in warning as I tried — and failed — to shut him up.

Valen's frown deepened, lips pulling up into a bemused smile at my expression. "Dare I ask what you changed?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but the shameless kobold beat me to it.

"Deekin thought epic novel would sell better with romance," he explained matter-of-factly.

My face felt warm, and I eyed off the kobold in an attempt to not look at the suddenly quiet man across from us.

Deekin shuffled to the edge of the bed, as far away as he could get from me. "But Deekin has some questions first." He glanced up at Valen, pen poised. "Demons make babies?"

My surprised bark of laughter drowned out Valen's indignant splutter. He straightened, glancing between myself and Deekin, blush already rising on his neck and a vein popping in his forehead.

He rubbed at the back of his neck uncomfortably as he decided on what to say to that.

I wiped a tear from my eye, slapping my knee as his discomfort lent me some much needed false confidence. I gave him a shrug.

A moment of floundering, before; "Are you always so blunt with your questions?" He asked Deekin, eyes resolutely not meeting mine.

The kobold smiled. "Deekin can be very innocent when he wants to. That be part of his charm."

Swallowing his embarrassment, Valen raised a challenging eyebrow. "Well, I have a weapon that can crush a man's head into a pulp before he realises he is dead." He paused. "That is part of my charm."

I flipped back on the bed, staring at the ceiling and unable to meet Valen's eye. A grin was on my face, despite myself, as I waited for Deekin's retort.

I heard him place the book on the bed, rising to the challenge, voice firm and proud.

"Deekin once have old master who eat mushrooms and passes gas so bad it kill entire cave of kobolds. Deekin stick his head in bucket of water. Only reason he alive today."

A surprised beat.

"I've cut my way through a hundred devils, breathing in their own gore, and felt the slash of a hundred blades against my skin, yet never died."

"Old master roll on top of Deekin once while he be sleeping. Old master be really heavy."

I waited through the pause, biting down on the smile that refused to budge.

Valen sighed in exasperation. "Not much fazes you, does it?"

I felt the bed shift as Deekin shook his head with his whole body. "Nope." He exclaimed proudly.

I couldn't contain it any longer, I snorted, covering my face in surprise before bursting out in unabashed laughter. Valen's stunned silence broke, as he admitted a deep chuckle of his own.

Neither Valen or I dared broach the topic again, as I wrapped up the remainder of our time in the Underdark, Valen offering his insights from Lith My'athar's battle.

Once Deekin was happy he had everything he needed, he opened his book on a new page, looking at me with a tilt to his head. "What be title of book, Boss?"

Valen gave a bemused smile, tilting his head.

I pretended to contemplate the question for a moment.

"Hordes of the Underdark, Deek," I told him fondly.

He nodded as he wrote. But then he paused, pen poised on the blank space beneath.

"Umm, Boss?" He started.

"Hmm?"

"Deekin really happy to be in next bit of book." He nodded, looking up at me slyly. "So happy he promise to leave out how Boss smells like week old socks."

And with that he started writing, legs folded on the foot of our bed.

I blinked at him indignantly, eyes darting between him and Valen, the later of who simply shrugged noncommittally.

I raised an arm and gave a tentative sniff.

I mean, I didn't smell like peaches, but I didn't think I smelled that bad.

"It's not like there are baths in hell," I scoffed, crossing my arms.

"What makes Boss think that? Bath's up the hall," he didn't look up, the exasperation clear in his voice.

I blinked at him and then Valen, before standing from the bed.

"Well why the hell am I just hearing about this now?" I exclaimed. Who knew when I'd next get a chance?

I jumped from the bed, grabbing one of my knives and the tunic I'd intended to wear to bed.

Valen's smile faded into a deep frown as I busied myself.

"You're not actually going to use them, are you?" He asked in disbelief. At my raised eyebrow, his smile dropped completely, tone terse. "They're communal," he pressed.

"So were the ones in the Underdark."

Then again, I'd had Nathyrra with me then… I shook aside the uncertainty.

Finally ready, it occurred to me that maybe a bath wasn't the best reason in the world to endanger myself. Where was the girl who'd woken her husband to join her, whenever she needed to use the public toilets when camping?

I shook my head resolutely. No, I meant what I'd said to Valen the night before. I blushed again at the memory that followed. I was a grown arse adult! I could handle myself.

And I needed to stop being so damn scared of everything.

Valen jumped to his feet when he realised I'd made up my mind, pulling his boots on and scrambling for this flail.

"I'll be fine," I waved him off, squaring my shoulders and walking out the door.

I shut it quickly to give Valen no time to argue.

The hallway was colder than our room, the sounds of the bar bursting my little bubble of comfort and reminding me that — just around that corner — was a whole slew of devils. …Devils that didn't care if you cut a man's neck wide open at the dinner table. I shivered at the memory of Swift's death, the reality of my situation chasing away the last of the warm fuzzy feelings in my stomach.

Good riddance!

The thought was half-baked, as even I was self-aware enough to know that I'd been enjoying myself. Enjoying this new in-between with Valen.

Well, enjoy it while it lasts, my brain told me whilst my heart was all aflutter and definitely paying it no mind

I made my way down the hall, only now realising that the room at the end didn't have a lock on it like the others.

Trust Deekin to have checked behind every door…

I tentatively pushed through and blinked at the steamy interior, thankful to find that nobody else was bathing.

Inside, the room was small, with a couple of open stalls with glowing grates in the stone floor — bigger than those in our room — besides which were buckets of water with ladles. The floor was slick, and steam rose all around me in lazy whorls.

I didn't waste any time undressing, piling my clothes carefully to avoid getting them wet with my knife on top. I ladelled the water over my head with a grimace at the coolness of it, before the grates hissed and the steam thickened, warming me all over.

I was too on edge to actually enjoy the process, as I quickly untangled my hair and scrubbed at my body with my old washcloth.

Done, I squeezed my hair out, daring to give myself a few minutes to drip dry over the grate, letting the heat evaporate what it could with every sizzling drop of water.

As dry as I was going to get, I found I was unable to pull my leather breeches back on over my still damp skin, I pulled my underwear and tunic on after a tentative sniff. I grabbed my knife and bunched up my clothes, darting to the door and throwing it open.

I gasped out an apology, heart hammering when it collided with somebody.

My apology was immediately cut short as I realised just who it was.

Valen had been standing in front of the door, back to me and waiting. He stepped away with a hand on the frame, looking far more irritated than he had a right to be.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

He spoke over me with; "I told you not to go alone."

I glanced down the still empty hall and then up to his face.

His was blinking down at me in surprise, and I felt warmth flood my face as I fumbled with my pile of clothes in an attempt to pull my shirt hem down further.

His words finally processing, I rolled my eyes, pushing past him — once I was confident my tunic was in place — and making for our room. He closed the bathroom door for me, before following silently.

"What did I say about not trusting me to take care of myself?" I asked.

I immediately regretted it, as my mind roamed to the memory that followed. I looked over my shoulder and his eyes snapped up to my own, his thoughts evidently not far from my own if the blush colouring his cheeks was anything to go by. He frowned.

"Fears keeps a smart man from danger."

I really shouldn't have argued the point; fear had been what had kept me going for as long as I had. I'd always been careful, surrounding myself with people who were brave.

But I'd made it this far, and I'd survived more than I could have ever imagined, and I realised suddenly that I didn't want that to be me anymore.

I wanted to be brave.

"So why are you never afraid?" I pressed him with a cheeky smirk.

"I am not a smart man." He chuckled. "And I have the scars to prove it."

A sly thought entered my mind, the words 'I'd like to see them' on the tip of my tongue. But I didn't say anything. Instead, I was simply thankful that he was following me, given the severity of the blush that inflamed my face.

The silence that followed didn't belong to someone who was brave.

I swallowed.

When I pushed into our little room, my face flushed and shift damp from the beads of water dripping from my curling hair, Deekin barely glanced up. He was still focused on the pages of his book, an exactly the same as he had been when I'd left him.

"Deekin tells you Boss be fine," Deekin said as Valen entered.

I smiled fondly at the kobold, fighting the urge to stick a finger or tongue in Valen's direction and failing and doing both. Valen simply shrugged off the comment, returning to sit on the side of his bed, as he tugged off his boots.

The rest of the night passed uneventfully, as I let the sound of Deekin's pen scratching on paper lull me into a sleep filled with dreams of just what someone braver than I could be doing.

NOTEBOOK EXTRACT

The list below is in Jane's handwriting. It's titled Things I Miss the Most: and it is logically placed between a map of The City of Lost Souls and a very brief list of animals commonly found in the wastes of Cania.

Things I Miss the Most:

(Not in Order)

My family

My friends

The internet

Streaming music

Being bored

Showers

Toilets