Chapter 8: Realizations and Confrontations (Not Necessarily in that Order)
After promising Harry that they would talk after the Order meeting that was supposed to take place that night, Hermione and James retreated to their room. Not 10 minutes later, they heard Mrs. Weasley arrive home. Her arrival was accompanied by the not so sweet sounds of Walburga Black making her pureblood beliefs known.
"Merlin," James breathed, "I would have thought Sirius would have found a way to shut her up by now." He winced as Walburga's shrill voice traveled up all three flights of stairs that separated them from the horrid woman's portrait.
"Believe me he tried," Hermione informed him dryly, thinking back to her first week at Grimmauld Place. Sirius' fruitless attempts to shut up his mother had added a plethora of colorful words to Hermione's already ever expanding vocabulary.
"Not hard enough apparently," mumbled as he moved to wrap his arms around his wife's waist from behind. He planted a soft kiss on the junction between her neck and her shoulder. He rested his forehead against her shoulder and Hermione could feel his hair against her bare skin.
They stood in the middle of the room in comfortable silence, each lost in their own thoughts.
James had lost his family and found them, all in the span of 24 hours. Well, to James it was 24 hours. To everyone else it had been 14 years. The family that he found was not the one that was taken from him.
Harry was no longer the chubby cheeked baby who would laugh at the drop of a hat. The innocence in his eyes had faded away and been replaced by a hardness that James had seen develop first hand in the eyes of his friends. Innocence turned cold as people disappeared and bodies were found; as most became killers in order to survive. It broke James' heart that he wasn't there to protect his son. A 15 year old boy should be chasing girls, not worried about being hunted by a madman. It was his job to protect his son. And he had failed because he wasn't there. But he was here now. He vowed to protect his son or die trying...again he thought wryly.
Then there was his wife. His beautiful, strong, brilliant, amazing wife. Mentally, she was no different. Or at least that's what James told himself. Hermione had had a whole other life. A whole set of new experiences that had helped shape her into the woman she was today. No such thing had happened to James. He hoped that this Hermione, the one who had spent 14 years without him, still loved him as the "old" Hermione had.
James sighed heavily and pulled her tighter against his chest. Physically she was different, too, he mused. The wideness of her hips that had developed when she was pregnant with Harry was nowhere to be seen. And the slight roundness of her stomach that she always complained about, but James had loved, was replaced by smooth plains that had never bore stretch marks. Her body, this body, had never carried a child; never carried their child. There were so many little changes on top of the big changes that James was struggling to catch up.
Hermione sunk back into James' chest and closed her eyes. She placed her hands on top of his, which were wrapped securely around her middle. She was happy. Really happy for the first time in a long time. Growing up she always felt like a part of her was missing. The feeling had lessened when she went to Hogwarts and was reunited with Harry, but it ever truly went away. Not until she saw James. All the memories that had been stolen from her when she was murdered came flooding back. She felt whole again. She felt like herself.
She was naive enough to believe that everything from here on out would be perfect and there wouldn't be any more challenges to face. Her son was the chosen one, Voldemort was back, and she was stuck (for the time being) in the body of a 15 year old. But, her family was together, and for now that was enough.
Hermione knew that her husband was thinking too hard when he pulled her tighter against his chest and buried his face into her shoulder. She reached up behind her and gently ran her fingers through his hair, letting her nails lightly massage his scalp. She felt James' chest rumble against her back as he moaned into her shoulder, relishing in the feeling.
Hermione chuckled lightly as she turned in James' arms. When she was facing him completely, she reached up and threaded her hands through his hair and pulled him down so his forehead was resting against her own.
"I love you," she whispered for the first time since his return. Hermione Hinkley had told James Potter she loved him everyday since she first confessed her feelings for him in their fifth year. It had slipped out while they were arguing beneath the whomping willow. Somewhere in between calling him an "arrogant prat" and a "self-righteous arsehole" she had said I love you. Hermione Granger on the other hand had never, ever told anyone those three words.
"Damn it, witch," James growled. "I wanted to say it first this time."
"Too bad," she breathed out right before turning around and rising up on her toes to crush her mouth against his.
James returned the kiss wrapping his arms around Hermione's lower back and pulling her as close to his body as possible. Hermione's hands tightened around James' shoulders and she let out a low whimper as his tongue brushed past her own. These were Hermione's favorite types of kisses. They were long and hard and Hermione could swear she felt them all the way down in her toes. She felt James clutch at the back of her shirt, bunching and pulling the fabric to expose her lower stomach.
"You better be clothed!"
James sighed and pulled back slightly, releasing Hermione's shirt, but kept his hands securely on her hips. Hermione rested her forehead on James' chest, letting out a breathy chuckle as Sirius Black opened the door revealing himself.
"Oh, good." Sirius said glancing behind him to address a slightly exasperated werewolf. "They're not fu-"
Remus smacked Sirius on the back of the head as he entered the room.
"Why does everyone keep doing that." Sirius asked, rubbing the back of his head glaring at the other three people in the room.
Hermione grinned. Since James' and Hermione's return, the sparkle of mischief that had been extinguished by 12 years in Azkaban had returned. Hermione hadn't realized how much Sirius had changed. Not just physically, but mentally as well.
"If you haven't figured it out after all these years then you never will." Hermione pulled away from James with a smirk.
Hermione moved to sit on the bed, her back against the headboard. Soon after, James and Remus joined her. James sat on her left and Remus lounged casually across the end of the bed. Sirius made no move to join them. He seemed to be stuck in the doorway watching his friends.
"I'm assuming you didn't come all the way up here to make sure Hermione's virtue is still intact." James snarked watching Sirius.
"Please," Sirius snorted. "We all know she lost that years ago. You wouldn't shut about it. Kitten," Sirius turned to Hermione, who was absently running her fingers through James' hair, "one of these days you are going to have to teach me that thing you do with your mouth."
Hermione threw a pillow at his face.
"Rude."
"What is the real reason you came up here?" Hermione asked, getting straight to the point.
She knew the reason he was here. She knew they'd have to address it at some point. James and Hermione had chosen Sirius to be Harry's guardian in the event that the death magic failed. She understood his need for revenge as his friend. But as a mother, knowing how her son had grown up because of his recklessness made her furious.
"You know why." Sirius said looking at the floor. Remus looked ashamed as well.
James got up from the bed, walked over to his best friend and unceremoniously punched him in the face. Hermione and Remus flinched at the sound of Sirius' nose breaking. Sirius hissed as he cradled his nose to stop the blood from spilling onto the floor.
"You stupid prick." James seethed. "You were supposed to take care of him! You were supposed to be there for him! Instead you go and land yourself in Azkaban! What the hell, Padfoot? And you." James turned on Remus. "Where the hell were you? I know with your lycanthropy it would have been impossible for you to take him, but to leave him in the care of Lily's sister? Are you fucking kidding me? We all heard the stories of how much Petunia hated anything magical. And you agreed to let him stay there? Anywhere, anywhere would've been better than there with those people."
Hermione wanted to join her husband in yelling at the two men who were looking anywhere but the Potter's. She wanted to scream, but not at the boys. She knew who was to blame for Harry's upbringing, and it wasn't the two men who were currently looking like they would love nothing more than for the world to open up and swallow them whole.
"It's not their fault." Hermione whispered calmly and dejectedly.
"What are you talking about?" James hissed. He wanted her to be by his side tearing his friends new assholes for what they had failed to do. Their son had suffered for so long and his wife, his lovely, overprotective wife was saying it wasn't their fault.
"Come here." She said patiently, patting the bedspread. Silently ordering them to sit down.
Remus, now sitting straight up, looked down at his feet as James and Sirius joined them. He quickly cast a spell to fix Sirius' nose and get rid of the blood on his face. James day next to his wife, eyeing his friends with a scowl on his face.
"After we died," Hermione began, "Dumbledore sent Hagrid to collect Harry. Sirius tried to argue, to take Harry. But he trusted Dumbledore would keep him safe. I'm not saying going after Peter was right-"
"Going after Peter?" James interjected.
The other three people on the bed froze. Hermione quickly ran back through her conversation with James the night before. She told him Sirius went to Azkaban because he was accused of betraying them to Voldemort, but she never told him who actually did. She almost slapped herself. How could she be so stupid as to leave something like that out.
"He was our Secret Keeper. Remember?" Hermione whispered gently.
James sprang back as if she had slapped him. No, it couldn't have been Peter. Peter wouldn't have betrayed them, James thought. Peter...was their secret keeper. The marauders watched as James visibly crumpled at the realization that one of their closest friends, one of their brothers, had betrayed them.
"He had to have been tortured into giving away our locations. There's no way…" James trailed off as he looked at the faces of his friends.
"After Hagrid took Harry. I-I couldn't think straight." Sirius spoke. "I wanted to protect Harry, but with the two of you gone… Remus was working undercover for Dumbledore. There was no one to knock some sense into me. I knew it was Peter. I was the one who convinced you to switch Secret Keepers. It was my fault."
His last sentence was barely above a whisper. Hermione wasn't even sure James caught it. James, in his attempt to wrap his head around the new information, ended up slumped against the door, his head resting between his knees.
"I knew Peter was responsible." Sirius continued, talking to the floor. "All I could think was how it was my fault. I waited 24 hours, but when you didn't come back, I thought the Death Magic had failed. I went after Peter. I had hoped maybe he had been tortured into giving away your location, but he didn't have a scratch on him. I confronted him and, well, you know what happened. No one asked any questions. Remus and Dumbledore both thought I was your Secret Keeper. There was no reason to look any deeper."
"Dumbledore took Harry to the Dursley's and when I came back from my mission and found out what had happened, I begged Dumbledore to let me take Harry." Remus explained, speaking for the first time since he entered the room. "But I was broke, I am broke." He threw in sardonically. "No one was going to let me take care of Harry."
"There was nowhere else for Harry to go without explaining the Death Magic." Hermione finished as she moved to kneel in front of James.
She slowly reached up and took his hands away from his face. Tears streamed down his face as he mourned his friend.
"Peter-" James choked out.
"Is not the same person we grew up with." Hermione finished. "In the cemetery, Harry told me that it was Peter who killed Cedric Diggory. The boy we knew, our friend, is gone."
James sobbed heartbrokenly for everything he had lost, for everything his friends and family had lost. He cried for his son who had to grow up too fast. He cried for his wife who had to watch over their son alone. He cried for Sirius and for Remus. Finally, he cried for himself.
The marauders moved to join James and Hermione on the floor. Hermione held James' hand firmly between her own. Sirius sat shoulder to shoulder with James, not daring to speak. Remus seated himself in front of his three friends. Even with his eyes downcast, Hermione could see the shame that filled them.
James let out a shaky breath, wiping the tears from his cheeks and finally raising his head to face his friends.
"I didn't-" James exhaled sharply. "There's still so much I don't know. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have torn into you two like that."
Sirius slung his arm over his best mates shoulder. "That's alright, Prongs. Damn, you haven't yelled like that since Remus told you he had a thing for Hermione."
"What?" Hermione looked to Remus in shock.
Remus turned pink. "It was third year, Padfoot."
The four burst into laughter. They stayed that way, huddled together around the door telling stories. James was particularly interested to learn that for a time, Remus was known around Hogwarts as Professor Lupin. "From now on should I raise my hand to ask you a question?" James jested merrily.
When the voice of Walburga Black started screaming about blood traitors, Remus turned his wrist to check his watch. "The rest of the Order should be arriving soon."
James stood up first, pulling Remus into a hug, then repeating the gesture with Sirius. Hermione copied the gesture, standing on her toes to wrap her arms around Remus assuring him that there was "nothing to forgive," and she loved him just as she always had. Next was Sirius, the haunted look in his eye had lessened slightly, but it was still there. Hermione could see that the guilt was still eating away at him.
"Oh, Sirius," Hermione placed a comforting hand on his cheek. "You need to forgive yourself."
Sirius pulled her into his chest, her arms locked around his waist.
"I'm so sorry." He whispered, his lips brushing against her ear. "I'm so so sorry."
Hermione was the first to pull back, offering the convict a small, but genuine smile before rising up to kiss his cheek.
"Oi, Black," James called, "Stop trying to seduce my witch."
"It's not my fault the ladies find me irresistible." Padfoot smirked, throwing his arm over Hermione's shoulder.
"You mispronounced irritating," Remus rebutted offhandedly, moving towards the door.
The four descended the staircase. Hermione was mentally preparing herself for what was to come. She knew that the next few hours would be filled with looks of disbelief, accusations, and mistrust. Molly Weasley's reaction would look like child's play compared to the likes of Minerva McGonagall and Alastor Moody. Merlin, help her.
Hermione was so lost in thought that she hadn't noticed they had made it to the last staircase.
"Hiya, Minnie," James greeted cheerfully.
Minerva McGonagall froze just a few paces from the kitchen, where the Order meeting was set to take place. Hermione watched as her favorite teacher gripped her wand tightly and slowly turned around.
"Still as beautiful as ever," James continued unfazed.
McGonagall's eyes widened as she took in James Potter standing unperturbed, leaning on the banister. She studied him, trying to figure out if what she was seeing was real, or an unintentionally cruel trick thought up by the Weasley twins.
"What's the matter?" James went on innocently, "Don't recognize your favorite student? I'm wounded, truely." He turned to address Hermione. "I can't believe she doesn't recognize me. She's seen as much of me as you have. After she caught us shagging in the fourth floor broom closet seventh year I thought for sure I'd been branded into her brain forever."
"James!" Hermione yelped.
"Hermione, she quite literally caught me with my pants down."
Hermione was blushing so hard even her ears were turning pink.
"So that's why you two got detention after winning the Quidditch cup." Sirius guffawed loudly.
McGonagall looked furious. She opened her mouth to speak, or maybe yell, but was cut off by Professor Dumbledore.
"Ah, Mister Potter, it's a pleasure to have you back with us," The ever present twinkle in his eye seemed brighter somehow. "And you as well Mrs. Potter. Or should I address you as Miss Granger?"
"Miss Granger is fine," Hermione answered, her cheeks still slightly pink. "For now."
"Albus, what in Merlin's name is going on?" McGonagall questioned, her voice slightly higher than usual. Her eyes never left James.
"Everything will be explained promptly," Dumbledore promised. "I believe the rest of the Order is waiting on our arrival to begin."
Dumbledore beckoned them to follow as he swept into the kitchen to greet the rest of the Order. With one last glance, McGonagall followed. The other four trailing closely behind.
"We swore we were taking that to our graves," Hermione hissed.
"We did." James smirked back at her.
As they all entered the room, Hermione and James quickly took their seats next to Sirius and Remus. James casually threw an arm over Hermione's shoulders. This is going to be fun, James thought gleefully. Minnie was eyeing him like she couldn't decide whether or not to hex him, or hug him. James was hoping for the latter, Minerva threw a mean hex when she was angry.
James glanced around the rest of the room to see everyone was solely focused on him and Hermione, who was looking like she would rather the world swallow her whole. To his surprise, Severus Snape was sitting across from him with his signature sneer that never seemed to leave his face. James didn't comment on Snape's presence, not even in his head.
"Now," Dumbledore started, "I believe all of you have met Mr. James Potter and Mrs. Hermione Potter. However, due to their involuntary hiatus, I think reintroductions would be appropriate."
"James Potter is dead." Bill said what everyone else, save for a select few, was thinking.
"Unfortunately," Snape drawled in a monotone voice, "he is not, Mr. Weasley."
"James Potter was killed 14 years ago," Alastor Moody stated. "And that lass," he pointed his walking stick at Hermione, "is not a Potter."
"Au contraire," James snarked, "I have a marriage certificate and a 15 year old upstairs to prove it."
"Are you saying that Hermione, a 15 year old-" Kingsley started.
"16," Hermione interjected. "My experience with the time turner makes me chronologically 17 at the end of term."
"A 16 year old girl,"Kingsley amended, "is the mother of Harry Potter."
"That is exactly what I am saying," Dumbledore concluded.
Then, all hell broke loose. Everyone was talking at once. Some were demanding proof while others were stating that it was simply impossible for the man sitting next to Hermione to be the real James Potter. Mrs. Weasley even suggested polyjuice potion as a viable explanation, along with Hermione being the victim of a very advanced memory spell. Snape glanced uninterestedly around the room before locking eyes with Hermione. He nodded stiffly before he resumed watching the room.
Snape had lost the love of his life and was forced to act as if she belonged to the one person he hated more than anyone, sans Voldemort. While Snape's feelings had never been requited, he loved Lily with everything that he had. After her death, he vowed to do everything in his power to defeat the man who was responsible.
When Snape heard that Voldemort had left to recruit Lily Evans to their ranks himself, he knew he would never see her again. He begged the Dark Lord to spare her life. In the end, it didn't matter. Even though Lily was a muggleborn, her knowledge and skills would have undoubtedly made her an asset to the Dark Lord's army.
Snape was the one who found her body, broken and bloody, lying on the floor of the apartment that she shared with Hermione Hinkley. Afterwards, he went immediately to Dumbledore, asking the professor to help him change sides. Instead, Dumbledore offered him a chance to act as a spy for the Order of the Phoenix. Snape accepted. When Snape learned that one-year-old Harry Potter was to be killed by Voldemort due to a prophecy proclaiming the boy to be the one with power to defeat the Dark Lord, he knew Lily would have wanted him to protect her godson.
James, despite his past actions against Severus Snape, was and would always be eternally grateful to the man. He was the reason that their plan was successful. He owed his life, and the lives of his wife and son to Severus Snape. No matter how uncomfortable that realization made him, he would never deny it. Not even to himself.
"This simply is not possible and I will not let you fill Harry's head with your lies!" Mrs. Weasley shouted at the pair.
"That is enough!" Hermione shouted as she stood up, placing both hands on the table in front of her.
Hermione knew that Harry and the others were right outside the door with Fred and George's extendable ears attempting to listen to every word. He did not need to hear this.
"Now," Hermione continued once everyone had stopped talking, "if you would like to hear the truth. I suggest you all stop talking and listen. Professor Dumbledore can corroborate our story. However, if that is not enough for you, Sirius, Remus, and Professor Snape can also confirm our identities."
"Thank you, Mrs. Potter," Dumbledore nodded in her direction. "Let's start from the beginning shall we?"
For the next hour, Dumbledore told the story of Hermione and James Potter. He spoke briefly of their time at Hogwarts. How their friendship had turned to love. He addressed why the wizarding world believed Lily Evans to be Harry's mother. When he spoke of the potion that altered the world's memories, Snape confirmed that he had brewed and helped verify that almost everyone except himself, Dumbledore, and the remaining marauders had ingested the potion. Dumbledore glossed over their use of Death Magic, stating that under the circumstances, drastic measures had to be taken. By the time he finished, the room was so quiet, the soft footsteps of Crookshanks could be heard from outside the kitchen door.
"So," Tonks was the first to break the silence, "how do we break the news to the rest of the world?"
"We don't," Dumbledore answered. "No one outside this residence is to know that James Potter has returned."
"No," James challenged. "Hermione and I agreed that Harry will be the one to decide. If he wants Hermione with him while he attends Hogwarts, then I will stay here in hiding. However, if he decides that he wants Hermione to take the potion to restore her age, then that is what will happen."
Dumbledore paused as if he had not expected resistance to his plan. After a tense moment, Dumbledore relented.
"Very well."
"Albus," McGonagall spoke for the first time since entering the room, "is there a way to restore our own altered memories?"
"There is," Snape answered in a bored tone, "the antidote should be ready by the start of the year."
"It will only be administered to those in this room...for now," Dumbledore spoke with an air of finality. "Now, I believe all that is left to discuss is the prophecy. Severus, if you'd please?"
Snape kept his eyes trained on the wall behind Hermione's head, giving the illusion that he was addressing the group.
"The Dark Lord knows of its existence, but will not risk going to the ministry himself to get it. And because it can only be retrieved by those mentioned in the prophecy, it is safe. For now. He is currently focused on accumulating strength through numbers."
"Harry needs to know," James spoke after Snape was finished.
"Absolutely not!" Mrs. Weasley shot to her feet, "He is only a boy! Telling Harry the prophecy would effectively end his childhood."
"His childhood ended the moment Peter Pettigrew murdered Cedric Diggory in front of him!" Hermione yelled back. "Mrs. Weasley, I know you want to protect Harry, but you are not his mother. The choice to reveal the existence of the prophecy to Harry is ours. Not yours."
"Or yours," James added looking Dumbledore squarely in the eyes. "Harry will be told the prophecy before he leaves on the Hogwarts express."
"Albus you cannot-" Mrs. Weasley tried to argue.
"Molly," Remus interrupted. "It is not your decision. Harry is no longer an orphan. He has two loving parents who are now alive and well. They decide what is best for him."
Molly opened her mouth to continue the argument, convinced that Harry was still just a boy who deserved to live in ignorance for as long as he could when Hermione jerked away from James suddenly. The movement caught everyone's attention.
"Peter knows." She whispered. "He recognized me in the Shrieking Shack. He knows."
AN: Hi everyone! I'm really sorry this chapter has taken so long. I was in the middle of writing it when everything shut down and finishing up school got in my way. This is a longer chapter. I really hope you guys enjoy it! I hope I did all the characters justice. Comments really help motivate me to churn out updates faster so leave a comment about what you think of the chapter.
Stay safe! xoxo