They're talking bullshit again...
(By CmptrWz)
"Hello everyone and welcome!" a voice called out over the island a group of people found themselves on. They generally looked confused as to how they ended up there. Except for one, who was looking at a floating sign above their heads.
Non-Canon Protectorate/Wards vs DWU/Family Parahuman Bullshit-Off
With special observer Director Piggot
"So everyone here other than Director Piggot is supposed to prove who has the most bullshit parahuman powers?" Taylor Hebert mused. "I wonder why I am here? Or Dragon, for that matter."
"Good point," the voice mumbled. "Hmmm, lets try this." And the sign changed.
Non-Canon Protectorate/Wards vs DWU/Family Parahuman, Demon, and Para-AI Bullshit-Off
With special observer Director Piggot
"Guess that cat's out of the bag for the moment," Dragon observed. "I am happy this is non-canon."
"Meh," Armsmaster grunted. "I have all but known since the first meeting at BBFO anyway. You couldn't remote pilot a suit into there with any technology either of us had access to and I knew there was nothing living in the suit. But not noticing is a thing with my character, so..."
"I find myself wondering why Amy is here," Gallant said. "Not as Panacea at that, given that most of us are in costumes. Really, Taylor and Amy are the only ones not."
"I assume it is because I am here as a member of the Family and not New Wave," Amy answered.
"Right," Gallant said. "Pull the other one."
"Taylor?" Amy asked, gesturing behind her. Taylor grinned and suddenly Amy's tail became visible to everyone. Gallant was speechless. "So yea, after I met Taylor I figured out how to give myself a tail and eventually worked with Taylor to make lizard-suits. Though since we are revealing all here, Vectura here happens to have been Squealer before we made her a new body with a brute and changer rating and transplanted her brain into it. Then we shot up a fake brain to fool everyone."
"How did nobody notice you weren't just a healer?" Clockblocker asked. "I mean, total bullshit there. Not as bullshit as empty cloaks running around playing hero, luckily that monstrosity isn't here, but still."
"Funny you should say that," Vista said. A moment later the mentioned cloak had been pulled out of apparently nowhere. A moment after that 'Cloak', empty as usual, was standing on nothing where Vista had just been. "Hey mister narrator, which side do I belong on again?"
"Neither, really," the voice called out over the area. "You are somewhat of an independent, working for the Wards and trolling for the Family."
"I vote that Vista is currently the most bullshit person here," Assault stated, sounding serious. "At least until we have more evidence for someone else being the most bullshit."
"You just can't handle the fact that she can play the role of an empty piece of clothing," Battery commented. "Not that I am far behind you, mind."
"You went and met with the Family against orders," Director Piggot groaned. "And they taught you, making you more capable but then you hid it. Why me?"
"Hey," Taylor spoke up. "I learned plenty from her too. Wouldn't be able to be in two places at once without her help." A moment later a second Taylor popped into existence and waved.
"You can be in two places at once?" Gallant asked, looking like the world just started making sense. "So that is how you kept doing that. Coupled with the lizard-suits Amy made, anyway."
"More popcorn?" Regent asked, holding a big bucket over to Grue. Bitch grabbed a handful while Tattletale ate a chocolate bar. Nobody asked where they got the food.
"What I don't get is why, Amy's tail aside, there are no lizard-people here right now," Miss Militia said. Dauntless and Triumph had decided to go with the flow and wandered over to nab some popcorn from Regent. Kid Win had gotten ideas and was pulling his hoverboard apart. And Shadow Stalker was sulking in the corner trying to get her stupid armband off.
"Hiding in plain sight," one Taylor said, her tail becoming visible. "Being a likely Changer 15 or so helps, of course."
"That is bullshit," Clockblocker said. "There is no way you are a Changer 15 or so."
"Really?" the other Taylor asked, grinning. Both Taylors then became Saurial, morphed into Raptaur, grew into Kaiju. One then popped out of existence for space purposes. The other then decided to morph into Umihebi and then finally went full Varga.
To drive the point home a warhammer appeared in Varga's hand just before it let out the blast voice at full power at a mountain in the distance.
"So apparently not sleeping and not fainting are two entirely different things," Amy commented, poking Miss Militia. "Oh, and I already fixed the heart attack damage on Director Piggot."
"All in favor of Taylor having the most bullshit powers here?" Dragon asked, raising her own hand. Everyone else, Varga included, raised a hand. "Motion passes unanimously. Now what do we do?"
"Guess we are done, then?" Taylor said as she shrunk back down to mainly human. "I didn't even need to demonstrate my stranger abilities."
"Is that stranger as in odd or stranger as in rating?" Armsmaster asked.
"Both," Taylor grinned, showing far too many sharp, pointy teeth.
"AHHHHHHH," Director Piggot screamed, jumping up from having fallen asleep at her desk. She looked around as she breathed deeply, calming down. "I don't recall what it was about, but whatever I just dreamt about scared the crap out of me."
Down the hall in a conference room Miss Militia was suddenly very happy she didn't sleep and thus didn't dream. She was not sure why, though.