Masquerade: The Veneer of Thalia and Melpomene
The Thirty Fourth Dance: Reality is a Nightmare
Strange, I thought, how you can be living your dreams and your nightmares at the very same time."
― Ransom Riggs
"Thank you Luna, for agreeing to come talk to me," Hermione said as she set down a tray of tea and biscuits between her and the blonde who was sitting at the table.
"Of course. I sensed you were in distress. You had all these horrid pixies flying around your head. They were hammering away at it, making it come close to blowing up." Luna said this casually as she reached for one of the biscuits and dipped it into her cup of tea.
"Uh, right," Hermione didn't know what to really say to that. She was certain there were no fairies around her, but she was also certain that she was indeed coming close to blowing up if she didn't tell anyone her secret. Luna was frankly the only option, even if Ginny had some sort of suspicions on the matter.
"So, I assume this is about Bellatrix?" Luna asked as she took out her soggy biscuit and slathered some butter on it. Hermione tried not to gag in distaste as she watched the blonde bite into it.
"Yes, it's about her." Hermione slowly nodded her head and let out a soft sigh. She had thought she'd be fine telling Luna about her secret but now that the moment had arrived, it was proving to be hard to do so. Her hands began to shake so she wrapped them around her mug to distract herself.
"Hmm," Luna hummed thoughtfully as she dipped the other end of her biscuit into the tea. "Do you perhaps fancy her?"
Hermione's cheeks blushed at this and the urge to rebuke this was so strong, she could almost taste the excuse on her lips until she reminded herself that she was supposed to be telling Luna the truth. Well, most of it. There was no way she was going to talk about her dreams. They were too...intimate.
"Yes...I do fancy her," Hermione admitted, her voice cracking a little. She still couldn't believe it, but a part of her did, and even found it not that hard of a fact to accept. After all, Hermione craved intellectual stimulation; talking to people who were at the same caliber as her if not higher was something she liked. She found intelligence charming and Bellatrix had plenty of that. She was very smart and also superbly talented with a wand. There was so much she knew and that she could share and impart to Hermione. Not to mention she was attractive physically and her changed demeanor was a huge turn on. As much as Hermione was used to the dark witch's sharp tongue she knew the other was soft on the inside and just hiding it deep under her bluster and many facades.
"I guessed as much," Luna said. "Is this what you wanted to tell me?"
"Yes. I wanted to tell someone...talk to someone.."
"So why not Harry, or Ron, or Ginny?"
"They...well, I feel like they will all judge me for it, and I'm not ready for that yet. But I needed to tell someone or else I would lose my mind and end up saying something in the heat of the moment. I have all these conflicting thoughts inside me, and-"
"Don't worry, Hermione." Luna extended a hand and placed it on the brunette's arm. "I won't tell anyone and I certainly won't judge you. Love is love is love. That is what I believe."
"Thank you," Hermione breathed out and then launched into telling Luna how it all began. The blonde was respectfully quiet, listening to everything with a tilted head. At the end, she offered some advice, something that Hermione already knew but refused to think about.
"You have to face this head on. You can't avoid this. If you do, it will only get worse." Hermione had explained to Luna about the gifts that the judges had given them as well- it had sort of poured out of her. Luna had taken all the information in stride and not questioned anything the Gryffindor said. Which was an immense relief. If this had been Harry or Ginny, they would have been pestering her for details or questioning if what was said was true.
"I know I have to find a way to break Dorian's gift-" Hermione had conveniently left out just what exactly was in those dreams that his gift created, "But I don't know how." She did know how.
"You're really smart, I'm sure you can figure a way out that will get around any tricks he may have," Luna said confidently and with a warm smile at Hermione. But Hermione wasn't so sure. There was no way around something so blatant as sleeping with someone else in order to take away the gift.
Still, Hermione felt better, felt like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. Talking to Luna had helped her immensely. "Thank you so much Luna. I really appreciate you coming over."
"My pleasure. I did really enjoy the biscuits." Then with that Luna took the whole tray of biscuits with her and left to go home. Hermione would have found that actions odd if she wasn't too busy being happy at finally letting out her worries. While she didn't have a solution, she felt more in control of her bottled up emotions. She got up, and with a newly cleared head, was finally able to attend to her ministry work.
The peace didn't last long.
To avoid the dreams, Hermione came up with a trick. She bought several draughts of sleeping potion. They would ensure she would slumber without dreaming. Or so she theorized. The first night was peaceful, and the first restful sleep she had received in a while. But upon the second night, Dorian's voice floated through the dark abyss of her mind.
"I really don't like this. Stop trying to play cheap tricks to get out of my gift. Take it or break it."
"I didn't ask for it!" Hermione cried at him but he merely shook his head, a grin tugging at his lips. It was never a good sign when he was angry but still cocky. It meant he had something hidden up his sleeve.
"Well, it matters not. Drinking such potions will only make waking up from these dreams harder." And then he poofed away.
"Bullocks," Hermione cursed, because he was right.
Already the dreamscape was forming and she found herself sucked into it. In it she was lying on the ground, rich carpet on her back and a dark figure straddling her lap. "Bellatrix?" she croaked out, her throat dry. She recognized this scene immediately- it was the infamous torture scene, where she had been tormented by Bellatrix in the Malfoy manor. She could make out past the raven haired witch's thick locks Lucius and Narcissa off to the side.
Why this scene? Why was Dorian showing her this?
"So, mudblood, where is the sword," Bellatrix asked, wand digging into the flesh of Hermione's neck. She swallowed heavily. What did she say to this?
"I don't know," she decided to stick to how it had gone in real life.
Bellatrix's eyes darkened. "I see," she hissed behind bared teeth. "Leave," she directed over her shoulder, eyes never leaving Hermione's.
"Bellat-"
"I said leave!" she snarled out at her sister. "Unless you wish to incur the wrath of my wand as well. I have work to do on this pest here, and like art, torture is best done without interruptions."
"Very well," Narcissa said in a slightly shaky voice, and she left along with her husband, slowly shutting the door behind them.
Bellatrix waited until three heartbeats had passed before she let out a relieved sigh. "I was worried there for a moment."
"You? Worried?" Hermione cracked a smile.
"The situation isn't looking good. Harry and Ron have been captured and locked up. And I'm supposed to torture you until I can get answers. But I don't want to do that. We have to throw a little act. I 'torment' you for a bit, you get tired out, I lower my guard when you attack me and steal my wand and knock me out before running out and freeing your friends. How does that plan sound?" Bellatrix whispered hastily, eyes flickering from the door to Hermione and back, worried someone might come in or be listening in on them.
So it seemed Dorian was rewriting this memory for Hermione. But how was this relevant to his gift? How could he even make this sexual? That was highly improper.
"Can you pretend to scream?"
"I won't have to," Hermione found herself saying, "because I know you're good at what you do." She grinned coyly up at Bellatrix who smiled down briefly.
"Now's not the time for sexual jokes."
"We never have the time for sexual jokes, never mind actual sex," Hermione pouted.
"We will have all the time in the world as soon as we save the wizarding society," Bellatrix said gravely, but upon seeing Hermione's pouting face, leaned in and kissed her succinctly. The brunette's hands delved into raven locks, pulling the older woman closer.
They pulled apart slowly, eyes lidded heavily. "Hmmm, maybe there is a little bit of time for some fun before we go rescue your friends. Perhaps I can claim your cries of pleasure as cries of pain." She ran her wand down the front of Hermione's shirt causing the fabric to split apart revealing soft flesh.
Ah shit, and here Hermione was hoping to get away scot free. She tried to force herself to wake up but it was hard. Her mind was groggy and her body not responsive. Yet, she was determined. She wouldn't give up easily. Bellatrix's lips descended once more onto hers, tongues battling together as her wand went down lower and lower, until the shirt had been split down to her belly button. It bunched up around Hermione's sides but Bellatrix pulled it down, exposing her chest and stomach fully. She pushed her wand to the side and with hungry hands raked nails down Hermione's inviting skin.
Still, Hermione mentally fought to free herself before this could go any farther. She wouldn't give into Dorian's schemes. She wouldn't! She was soon rewarded for her efforts. Bright lights spotted her vision-the daylight streaming in through her windows. But breaking free of the draught was like breaking free from underwear. Her head swam and she felt breathless and wet. The dampness on her skin was only her sweat, for she had exerted quite an effort in waking up. She sat up, panting, head groggy.
She did it. She had. Something told her she wouldn't be so lucky next time.
"You won't succeed next time," Dorian hissed in her head before he disappeared along with the last vestiges of her dream.
Sleeping was too dangerous. Until she came up with a fool proof method of avoiding the dreams, she couldn't engage in resting. Ripping herself free from her tangled sheets, she would set upon researching common magical maladies such as cursed dreams.
The following day, having devoured all she had in her apartment's library, she went to Diagon Alley to peruse the public library there. She knew better books could be found in pureblood families or in bookstores, but a muggleborn like her wouldn't be welcome, and she preferred to save money if she could before she would spend it on books.
Searching through the sections, she couldn't help but wonder how Bellatrix was faring with the dreams. Was she having as much trouble as Hermione? Was she disgusted by them? Or did she...like them? Hermione blushed at the thought of that and shook her head to refocus herself. Her thoughts were running a bit sluggish today because she had stayed up tonight and even with the two cups of caffeine running through her veins, it couldn't beat having a full night of rest.
After a few more hours of searching, she decided to leave, a bit disgruntled that her venture had been useless. She supposed it was time to check out the book store, and if that didn't have anything, than it was time to beg Bellatrix to ask Narcissa to let her use the Malfoy library.
As Hermione was walking down the crowded street, she felt her heart beat slow down as her feet came to a pause. No...she couldn't be seeing right, could she? Her body felt cold, like she had been hit with an ice spell, because ten feet away from her by a lamppost were Bellatrix and...Hermione.
"What?" escaped from Hermione's frozen lips. Her eyes were wide and brows drawn up while she watched the raven haired witch extend a hand onto the lamppost and box other Hermione in, leaning in closer. The other Hermione was backed up into the lamp, hands clinging to the front of Bellatrix's dress. Both of their eyes fell shut as they leaned in and kissed so deeply and passionately that Hermione felt her face burn up.
What...what was going on?!
She had to be hallucinating. This couldn't be real. She closed her eyes and shook her head. When she opened them again, the two figures were gone.
Strange. Dorian's gift must be rubbing off on her. She hurried off to the book store, making a wide berth around the lamp.
The book store turned out to be more helpful. She found at least two books there on sleep curses, though a majority of the tales and reverse spells centered around the Spinning Wheel curse of Sleeping Beauty, whoever that was. Hermione had just thought her a simple Disney princess.
Guess she was real. You learn something new each day Hermione mussed. Still, not much was in the books, except that apparently true love's kiss was an answer to breaking the curse. The way to break Dorian's gift was quite similar, beside the blatant fact that it was sex and not a kiss. Had Dorian perhaps been influenced by the story of Sleeping Beauty? There weren't a lot of sleeping curses wizardkind had come up with, so he must have been limited to this one. Could Hermione somehow trick the system? Could they fake...having sex?
The brunette's face flared up at that and she clamped her legs tight. Even the thought of faking it was quite scandalous and arousing.
Damn it, there had to be something they could do. Biting her lip, she downed the rest of her coffee and sighed out, using her wand to turn on her desk lamp. Night was approaching once more. And with it a messenger owl. It fluttered up to her window and she opened it up to receive his note.
"Thanks," she said and sent him back on his way after giving him a treat. Unfurling the scroll, she found it was a message from Kingsley. He was requesting a meeting with her tomorrow to discuss her initiative on reforming criminals. Was it really tomorrow? She could have sworn the meeting was scheduled for a later date. The issue with Bellatrix must have distracted her.
She got up from her chair and went to gather up some data, reports, and plans of buildings, so she could put together a good portfolio. The act took up most of the night, so when nine am arrived, Hermione appeared through the floo network at the ministry and went up to Kingsley's office.
"Good morning Hermione," the dark skinned man greeted from behind his desk. "Take a seat." She did. "Rough night?"
"Excuse me?" Where did he get such an idea?
"You look drained and you have bags under your eyes. I hope you didn't stay up late working on putting together something for me."
"Oh, no, I'm fine. Just sleeping a bit less, but not not sleeping," she rushed out, laughing awkwardly at the end. Did she really have bags under her eyes? She cursed herself for not checking in the mirror before she left her apartment. "Here are the files with the latest updates. If you have any questions, let me know and I will be happy to explain." She handed the manila envelope to him and he took it, reading silently for a while.
She fidgeted in her seat in the meanwhile, the coffee she had drank before coming here making her antsy and wanting to jump around. Instead, she pulled out a hand mirror and looked in. Indeed she did have bags under her eyes. With her wand she cast a quick cover up spell. She was so focused on her own reflection, she didn't notice the reflection of someone else in her small mirror until they spoke.
"You're already pretty. You don't need to cover up. I'd like you bags, warts, moles, and all." Black clad arms wrapped around her, the raven haired witch nuzzling her nose into Hermione's neck.
Hermione jumped out of her seat, dropping her mirror. "Bellatrix!" she cried out, voice breathless. But no one was behind her. Had she imagined all that? But it had felt so real. She could still feel the warmth of Bellatrix's breath on her neck, the scent of her perfume clinging heavily to her skin.
"Hermione, are you okay?" Kingsley stood up, obvious worry written on his face.
"I-I thought," she swallowed, throat dry. Was she hallucinating from lack of sleep? Yes, that must be it. "I thought I saw someone behind me in the mirror." She bent down to awkwardly pick the mirror up and saw it was broken. What did they say about that? Seven years of bad luck?
"Not someone, but Bellatrix."
Hermione cringed at the fact he had caught that, but shook her head in admission.
He sighed out, took his seat again. Hermione took hers as well, using her wand to clean up the shards on the floor and dump them into the nearby rubbish bin. "I think you might need a break."
"What!" her eyes opened wide. "Why would you say that?"
"Hermione, we all know you work extremely hard, and you know we all care for you. So please, don't strain yourself. Working with such a dark witch must not be easy given her unstable nature. So if you ever feel like you need to step back, please do so. I can get someone to replace you, take over for you so you can recover."
Hermione shook her head. "It's fine. I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me. I can handle this."
Kingsley didn't look convinced but he nodded his head. "Very well. Now, I'd like to discuss something in section one paragraph two..."
For Hermione's next session with Bellatrix, she decided to ask her for permission to go retrieve some books that might help break the curse.
It had been awkward at first, going in to see the darker witch, and they had spent a good half hour talking to each other in stilted words and with eyes that never met. But once Hermione had voiced her idea-
"You want access to the Malfoy library? Again?"
"Of course I do. I need to find books on how to break Dorian's gift."
Bella's eyes finally landed on Hermione. She was looking at the younger girl like she had gone daft. "Are you mad? There's no way to break the judge's gifts until the conditions are fulfilled."
"Or that is what they want you to think," Hermione pointed out. "You won't know until you rule out all other possibilities, which is what I'm trying to do, but I cannot with my limited reading resources. Which, I would be grateful to have better access to." Hermione held out a quill and paper to Bellatrix. "Here, write to your sister and ask for assistance."
Bellatrix held the utensils but didn't move to use them. "Hermione," she said tiredly.
"Wha's wrong?" Hermione crossed her arms over her chest. She found her fuse to be short nowadays and Bella was toeing it already. "Do you want to keep having these dreams?"
"Of course not!" Bellatrix spat out defensively. She did not want to come off as liking the dreams because that would imply too much about her true feelings towards a certain brunette. It was all the prompting the woman needed before she put the quill to paper, nose scrunching up as she came up with some sort of excuse on why she needed Hermione in Narcissa's library.
"Here," she shoved the paper at Hermione who took it without reading it, shoving it hastily into her purse.
"Thank you," she said and made a move to leave.
"Wait, you're going already? What happened to today's session?" Bellatrix hesitantly called out.
Hermione froze mid turn on her heel, eyeing the dark witch in surprise. "I didn't know you liked these sessions so much."
"I-I don't!" Bellatrix blustered. "But I need them to progress, don't I."
Hermione bit back a smile. How amusing and adorable. Bellatrix would never admit to liking these sessions ever, would she. Not even on pain of death. "Sorry, I don't have time today. I need to do something else."
Bellatrix's brows furrowed up, suspicion clouding her gaze. "Something's not right."
Hermione frowned, clutching the strap of her purse so as to protect the note in it in case Bellatrix had a sudden change of heart and tried to get it back. "What are you talking about?" She was itching to go already and to solve her and Bellatrix's issue.
"You never skip out on a session unless it's something important."
Bellatrix had a point there, but now was really not the time for a discussion, or for Bellatrix to suddenly sprout the desire to want to inquire on how Hermione was doing. She'd never asked before. "I'm fine. I am."
"Is Dorian's gift bothering you that much?"
Hermione exploded, her patience gone, and Bellatrix too spot on with hitting the crux of Hermione's problems. "Of course it bloody is! Isn't it bothering you? Because I can't bloody sleep at all!"
Bellatrix looked taken aback by the younger woman's anger. But she wouldn't cower from it for long. She took a step forward, anger and concern mixing in her black eyes. "You're not sleeping?"
"So what if I am not, I can't with his stupid gift!"
"You need to sleep, Hermione, even with the dreams. You need your rest."
"Don't tell me what to do."
"I will if it's causing such issues! I don't like the dreams any better, but I think it's better to get some rest, than none at all!"
"If I wanted your opinion I would have asked for it. I don't recall doing so!"
"Was has gotten into you," Bellatrix grit out.
"Oh, now when I do some screaming and yelling it's not fine, but when you do it all the damn time, it's just peachy!" Hermione was breathing hard now, cheeks red from exertion.
Bellatrix drew her lips into a smug smirk. "It's funny when you're the one whose boiling mad and I'm not."
"I'm done here," Hermione hissed out, because she wanted to get out and get some fresh air. She stormed out the door, not even saying goodbye to Bellatrix.
She hadn't found anything helpful in Narcissa's library which was a huge blow to her confidence and hope in ridding herself of these dreams. She hadn't slept in four days time now, and it was taking her toll. She regretted snapping at Bellatrix but she couldn't find it in herself to apologize because she knew if she went back, she'd only yell at her some more.
It was a good thing Ginny and Harry invited her out for dinner, because she was becoming stir crazy from sitting indoors and staring at books all day. She apparated over to a small restaurant tucked into the corner of a little used street. They were already there when she arrived, for she'd lost track of time due to all the reading and studying she'd been doing on a topic that gave her no hope to her current predicament.
"Hello Hermione," Harry and Ginny greeted in varying intonations, but their luster at seeing their friend died down when they saw how haggard she looked. "Did something happen?" Ginny asked seriously as Hermione sat down.
The brunette frowned at her. What was it with people asking if she was okay or not. She was fine! Just cause she had a bit of a frazzled appearance and some bags under her eyes, and that annoying twitch in her fingers, didn't mean she wasn't sleeping!
"Why aren't you sleeping?" Harry asked, and how did he know that?
"You're talking out loud," Ginny explained.
"Oh bullocks," Hermione sighed out, not having realized she was. Sometimes her thoughts blended in with outside reality and she had a hard time telling what was in her head and what was out. Wait, had they heard that? She gave them a good long look, but when they said nothing this time, just looked on at her expectantly for an answer, she nodded her head in satisfaction. "I'm just working hard."
Harry and Ginny exchanged a look. "We know you...like to work hard," Harry started slowly, Ginny urging him on. "But please take a break from time to time. Your textbooks won't run away from you."
"Can we ask what is it that you're working on so feverishly?"
"No," Hermione curtly said and picked up the menu, done with this topic. She was starving. She hadn't had a proper meal in days. Or was it just from this morning. She couldn't recall. Time moved weirdly now. She wondered what she should get to eat. Lately, anything she ate hadn't been able to sate the gnawing sensation in her stomach, a sensation that wouldn't leave. It only got worse whenever she had her hallucinations. It was odd that that happened then.
Ginny was shocked. Hermione was never one for being rude, or for withholding from the projects she was working on. One couldn't get her to shut up normally. Something really bad must have happened. "Is this about...Ron?" the redhead hesitantly voiced. Hermione had said she didn't want to talk about her break up, insisting she was fine. But Ginny had to know. Maybe Hermione had just had a delayed response to it, and was now only feeling the affects.
This conclusion angered Hermione. She slammed her menu hard onto the table. "For the last time, it's not about Ron!"
Seeing the startled faces of her friends, she pulled the menu back up and buried her face into it, intent on picking out something good to eat. The three of them were silent as they went about selecting a meal. Occasionally, the table would rock back and forth and Hermione would have ignored that, if the giggling hadn't started.
"Would you stop that," she hissed out to Harry and Ginny.
"Stop what?" came Harry's perplexed voice.
"Rocking the table. And giggling."
"I'm not doing that." Harry's tones were stuck between confused and amused.
"Then who is?" Hermione growled out and lowered her menu, only to see a most usual sight on the table. Spread out along the tablecloths, flat on her back, was Hermione. The other one. And she was practically wearing nothing, robes open and bra clad chest heaving as she giggled lightly. Bellatrix was above her, eyes dark and hungry. Harry and Ginny sat on the other side of the table, unaware of all this. How could they not see it?
When Bellatrix noticed Hermione's attentions on her, she glanced over and licked her lips. "Guess whose on the menu tonight. You." And then she dove forwards and kissed the Other Hermione deeply and soundly, the girl under her wrapping her arms up around her shoulders and holding on tightly. They began to moan together; wanton noises that made Hermione's cheeks blush.
Hermione's mouth fell open and she leapt up from her seat. She tried to say something, anything, but words wouldn't come out.
"Hermione, are you okay?" Harry asked, rising to his feet at the obvious distress of his friend. Her eyes were open, and she was shaking, staring at something on top of the table.
But his words didn't register with her. She took to her feet and ran out, not once looking back, the moans of the two women following her out.
How many days could a person go without sleep before dying?
How many days had she been up?
She felt jumpy. She felt drugged.
Words ran together on paper. Everything was too bright. Too loud. It pissed her off!
And when she wasn't mad, or mumbling under her breath to herself, she was laughing at something dumb.
She had laughed at a slightly bent paper clip for three hours straight for Merlin's sake! She was losing her mind.
And the hallucinations, oh Merlin, the hallucinations. Those were the worst. No where was she safe from them. And they just kept getting closer and closer. She'd taken to locking herself up in her apartment, ignoring the concerned letters from her friends. She stayed in her room, afraid to even use the restroom for she had come in and seen Bellatrix and Other Hermione there, using her clean shower for dirty purposes.
They were taunting her with what she wanted, and what she should do to get rid of the curse, but of what she couldn't have. It was pure torture.
It had to stop. It had to. A loud crash turned her attentions from where she was huddled on her desk chair, looking at the wooden grains, to her bed. Bellatrix and Other Hermione were there, having knocked over a lamp in their haste to get into the bed. Other Hermione was already disrobed on top, Bellatrix laying hot kisses down the smooth planes of her neck and chest.
Hermione felt a fire burn in her stomach. She wished that she was the one under Bellatrix's hands; the one being subjected to her ministrations. At a sharp gasp from Other Hermione, the real brunette turned her face away, trying hard to control the hormones in her body. She couldn't do this anymore. Her mind was breaking down from lack of sleep, and her body was breaking down due to being tempted by desire.
The bed began to rock now, and she could feel the liquid heat in her trailing down her spine.
She just wanted the pain to go away. She just wanted to sleep again. But she couldn't. The only person who could help her fix this was Bellatrix. So with barely coherent thought, she went to Bellatrix's place. It took her three tries by apparation because the first two times she merely apparated herself into the bathroom.
She appeared in the middle of Bellatrix's bedroom where the woman sat in her armchair reading a book. She looked up from it, eyes narrowed at Hermione's haggard and unannounced state. "What are you doing here? What happened to you?" She put the book aside and got up, tentatively approaching Hermione whose red rimmed eyes followed her every move hungrily.
"We need...to sleep together," Hermione said timorously and with pain in her voice at admitting this.
"What!?" Bellatrix's eyes bulged out. "Have you gone daft?" That reaction was to be expected but the brunette was not backing down. Her life was a mess.
"We're both suffering from Dorian's magic. I can't go to sleep in fear of those..those dreams and neither can you! We can't not not sleep forever. Even sleeping potions don't work to keep the dreams away. And his gift has even expanded past the realm of sleep now. I'm having full blown hallucinations during the day and it's ruining my life!" Hermione screamed out. She was far too sleep deprived to care about keeping her voice down. She was a mess. Her eyes had bags that magic did nothing to remove. Her hair was frazzled, her skin pale and eyes bloodshot. She had also lost weight. She couldn't eat when all her body craved was sex. When all it wanted to eat was Bellatrix.
"That's none of my concern! Not my fault you're too weak to handle it!" Bellatrix scoffed, jutting her chin up.
Hermione's hand snaked out before she could stop herself and had slapped Bellatrix hard. The older witch barely had time to react to that before Hermione had grabbed her roughly by the chin and dragged her lips to hers. The kiss was mainly one sided, Hermione trying to force Bellatrix into a reaction. But the raven haired witch pushed angrily at Hermione's shoulders, wrenching her mouth free. "What are you doing?" she hissed.
"I'm sorry," Hermione said as she stumbled back, suddenly aware of what she had done. "I don't know why...I can't...I just can't suffer like this anymore. It's tearing me apart. I can't focus on anything, or do anything, when all I want to do is you. I'm sorry. Sorry. I shouldn't force myself on you." Hermione hid her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking as she tried to hold back her tears.
Bellatrix furrowed up her brows. She hated seeing Hermione in pain. Perhaps she had been too rash in making fun of the girl. She had never thought it was this bad for Hermione. Bellatrix was used to suffering so she could take it, but Hermione was delicate, still young. She didn't know how truly badly it hurt to destroy feelings of love; how love could be worse than any torment possible.
"I just...Dorian said once we consummated our love it would work. Everything would go back to normal. I just want everything to be normal once more." Hermione's voice sounded like it was on the cusp of breaking. She was ashamed in herself. She couldn't believe she had acted so vilely!
Bellatrix tentatively reached out to the girl and pulled her hands away from her face. A face, twisted up in anguish and covered in tears, stared back at her. She didn't want Hermione to be in pain. In pain, a pain that somehow Bella was causing. She didn't want Hermione to ever be hurt at her hand, but it seemed Bellatrix didn't have to move her hand to cause harm to the other. "I've never slept with another woman before," Bellatrix softly whispered, her voice shaking with the implication of what she was suggesting.
"Me either," Hermione said as Bellatrix's hands slowly moved from the brunette's thin wrists to her chin to cup it. Except for in our dreams, they both thought in unison.
"I hope you won't regret this," Bellatrix searched Hermione's eyes but when all she saw was quiet resignation and acceptance, she leaned in and kissed her. This kiss was soft and slow and Bellatrix could taste Hermione's tears on it. They were salty and they kept falling quietly as together their lips continued to map out their suffering.
"Let's just get this over with," Hermione husked and together they made way for the bed.
A/N: A bit of an evil cliff hanger but I wasn't satisfied with what I had written for their first scene together and I want to rework it. It shouldn't take as long as this chapter to come out since it's minor edits here and there.