Monty Python has a lot to answer for...
(By CmptrWz)
"Think we could do something like that?" Taylor mused as she watched a video clip.
"It will take a little work but it should be doable," Varga responded. "Worth doing if only for the amusement value."
"So, if we start here," Taylor said, pulling up a mental construct. "Let's say we tweak this bit over here…"
"Oh god," Amy said, seeing Taylor's grin at school a few days later. "You have figured something else out, haven't you?"
"An extension of some other things, but yea," Taylor admitted. "It should be hilarious. Just need to find a good situation to use it in. Or set of situations, it is multi-purpose."
"I repeat: Oh god," Amy deadpanned. "And until those situations come up you are keeping it secret, aren't you?"
"Of course."
"You suck."
"You came up with something new again," Lisa said as Taylor and Amy entered BBFO. "Didn't you?"
"Yep," Taylor admitted.
"Well?"
"Not telling."
"She is being very smug about it," Amy added. "Wants to wait for the right situation to come up."
"Damnit," Lisa grumbled.
"Why hello there Saurial," Assault said as he walked down the boardwalk a few days later. "How are things going with you tonight?"
"Things have been quiet," Saurial said. "Not much going on, really. Haven't even spotted a mugger."
"Crime is down overall," Assault admitted. He then looked around at the crowd that had formed. "So, since we are both likely bored, how about we have friendly sparring match?"
"Hmmm," Saurial said, thinking about it. "I think I could go with that. Give the tourists a show?"
"Yep," Assault said.
Ten minutes later they had marked out an area, had an audience, and Saurial had created a couple of swords.
"Swords?" Assault asked, holding the one he had been handed. "Why swords?"
"Amusement value," Saurial answered. Her armor changed color and a full helment materialized over her head. She then stood there, sword point in the ground before her, her hands on the pommel. "NONE SHALL PASS."
"What?" Assault said, confused.
"NONE SHALL PASS," Saurial repeated.
Assault stared at her for a moment, then looked at her pitch-black armor, and grinned. "So be it." And he lifted his sword in preparation.
Saurial did likewise and two did battle, sword to sword. Assault, figuring it was amusing but not expecting much more, slipped through a too-obvious hole in Saurial's guard and struck her off-hand's shoulder.
He then nearly dropped his own sword in shock as Saurial's arm fell off, yellowish blood of some kind spraying from the wound. After a moment of just standing there Saurial looked down at the apparently severed limb, then back at Assault.
"Tis but a scratch," Saurial insisted.
Assault very quickly realized where this was going. What the hell, why not? "A SCRATCH!? Your arm's off!"
"No it isn't!"
"Well, what's that then?" Assault asked, pointing at the apparently severed limb.
"I've had worse."
"You LIAR!"
"Come on, you pansy!"
And the two went back at it. A number of the spectators were in absolute shock, several felt that it had to be a trick. Then Assault found another opening, this time striking Saurial's sword arm. Which also appeared to sever and spew yellowish blood.
"Victory is mine!" Assault cried, raising his sword in triumph. No way was he starting an apparent prayer right now. Which was a good idea as Saurial went off-script and swung her tail at him.
"Come on, then!" Saurial exclaimed, swinging her tail at Assault again.
"You've got no arms left!"
"Just a flesh wound!" Assault had to jump over her tail again, but he swung his sword at her and, apparently severed her right leg. Saurial switched to balancing on her tail, kicking at Assault with the remaining leg. "Right! I'll do you for that!"
Assault was impressed at this point, but still went through with apparently severing Saurial's remaining leg. "Right, I believe I have now won!"
"Think again, cur!" Saurial said. Going quite off-script her severed right leg kicked Assault in his behind, causing him to fall forward into an uppercut from her severed left arm. After he flipped backwards, confused as to how she pulled that off, he didn't see her "severed" limbs crawling back to her. The spectators did, though.
"What the," Assault said, righting himself after a poor landing. He watched as Saurial's tail apparently dragged her right arm back into position and it re-attached seamlessly. Then the right arm picked up the left and re-attached it. Then she repeated this process with both legs.
"I am invincible!" Saurial claimed, hefting her sword again. Assault then noticed that the 'blood' had vanished.
"A bit off-script there at the end," Assault said, leaning on his sword. Which then vanished, causing him to tumble.
"The original was a bit lacking in certain areas," Saurial admitted. "So, how is Battery going to react to a viral video or fifty of you apparently dismembering a teenage cape of any kind?"
"Shit."
"Hello you two," Taylor said as she entered BBFO, reverting to base form once the door was shut. Amy and Lisa were there, in Ianthe and Metis, discussing some modifications Amy was working on for the bio-constructs.
"Hello," Lisa answered, distracted. Amy just waved.
Taylor smirked, then headed over to the computers. She wanted to see what PHO was making of her friendly match with Assault.
"Where did I put that pen?" Lisa mumbled a few minutes later. Taylor's hand tapped her with it a moment later, and Lisa distractedly took the pen. "Oh, thanks."
Ten seconds later Lisa and Amy simultaneously stopped what they were doing and turned to the table. In particular, to the hand on the table, attached to nothing. That then gave them a thumbs-up, apparently hopped onto its fingers, and scuttled across the table before jumping down to the floor. A moment later it had scuttled up onto one of the computer chairs, from which it jumped up to one of the keyboards. Which it then started typing on, occasionally moving over to operate the mouse.
"Your abilities are bullshit," Lisa finally said. "Complete and utter bullshit."
"You should see some of these videos of my sparring match with Assault," was Taylor's response.
Lisa and Amy looked at each other, then headed over to the computers. This was far more interesting than their discussion had been. Laughter filled the BBFO offices a few minutes later.
"BULLSHIT," Dennis yelled, causing all the other Wards in the common area to jump. "COMPLETE AND UTTER BULLSHIT!"
"What now?" Carlos asked, pulling himself up from the floor where he had fallen from his chair.
"Saurial's 'spar' with Assault," Dennis answered, queueing up a couple of videos on the larger screen so everyone could see them.
It wasn't long before everyone was staring, jaws dropped.