Chatter on Sufficient Velocity sparked an idea, so I had to deal with it...

"You have to be kidding me."

Hannah's tone of voice was entirely flat and emotionless. She simply didn't know what else to say or how to say it in the face of yet more Family oddities.

"What's wrong?" Missy said, looking up at her, an expression of puzzlement crossing her face.

"That."

"This?"

"Yes. That. Where the hell did you get… that?"

"Ianthe's pet shop."

The older woman sighed heavily. "Oh, god. The same place you got that horrible cat slash great old one?"

"Yep. And please don't be mean about Shoggy, he looks all hurt and upset when he hears you." Missy frowned. Hannah glanced uneasily at the little 'cube' that was neither a cube, nor, she suspected, actually little. A furry head with disconcertingly alert eyes was peering out of it at her, even though there was no apparent way for anything to either get into or out of the bizarre construction.

Wanting to avoid the reproach in the glowing eyes, Hannah turned away, but she could still feel it looking at her. To be utterly honest, she could sometimes feel it looking at her when she was at home in her apartment…

Trying to suppress the shudder, she returned to the issue at hand. "That… cat… is at least vaguely plausible as a pet, I suppose. But this thing..."

She inspected the small furry animal that was holding tightly onto Missy's right wrist, making an odd rumbling sound like a weird purr. Dennis, who was watching with a grin, had a bucket of rocks next to him, and was intermittently tossing one at the young girl. The creature would suddenly lunge in the most improbable manner at the rocks, a mouth that was wildly too large to fit into the vaguely canine head abruptly opening and displaying a vast quantity of glinting teeth as it snapped the pebbles out of the air.

Every time, Hannah flinched at the insane speed, the sudden appearance of more dentition than she was comfortable with, and the crunching sounds that followed. The blasted thing had already eaten at least a dozen rocks and seemed quite content to continue to do so.

"I'm thinking of getting one, actually," Dennis commented. He tossed another pebble. "They're really cool, Ianthe said they were based on the genome of a grizzly bear, with a lot of Family modifications. Some koala in there too it looks like, based on the way it's clinging on."

Dean was watching with an expression of resigned disbelief. "Why the hell would she make a tiny little bear that holds on to you and eats anything that moves too fast and gets too close?"

"Personal defense, she said," Missy commented, smiling at her new pet. "He's so quick he can catch bullets." She looked at Hannah. "Try it, try shooting me."

"I'm not going to shoot you," Hannah sighed.

"Oh, go on, it works, honest. Saurial showed me."

"Saurial… shot at you."

"Yep." Missy smiled brilliantly.

"With a gun."

"Yep."

"And that… creature… caught and ate the bullets?" Her voice was rising in both pitch and volume.

"He did. Really well. It was amazing watching him when she used that AK-47. I've never seen anything move that fast." Missy looked thoughtful while Hannah felt faint. "Except Saurial, I guess. Or maybe Raptaur. Or Dennis at lunchtime."

The red-headed boy snickered, as Hannah rubbed her forehead.

"I'm going to take him on patrol. If anyone shoots at me, he'll protect me."

Missy stood up, picking her helmet up and putting it on her head, then stroking the little bioconstruct, which growled in a sort of pleased way and moved higher up her arm, holding on and looking around alertly.

"Missy… You can't walk around with that thing in public," Hannah said with as much weary patience as she could muster, inwardly wondering if she could get some time off soon somewhere a little less insane. Hell, possibly, or perhaps LA.

"Why not?"

"Just… no."

Missy pouted. "Ianthe says I have every right to keep him on me."

"Ianthe is crazy," Hannah muttered under her breath. "Just like everyone else around here except me." More loudly, she asked, "Why does she think that?"

"It's in the Constitution."

Staring at the girl with raised eyebrows, the military cape tried to parse that. Eventually she gave up. "I don't suppose you could explain that to me? Please?"

Missy looked affectionately at the small ursine creature holding firmly onto her, then grinned at Hannah.

"We have the right to arm-bears," she said happily, before waving and heading for the door. Hannah watched her go, her mouth opening and closing a couple of times, turned to Dennis who was rolling around giggling, then shook her head. Throwing her hands in the air, she wandered off looking for some aspirin.

And it was still only Tuesday so far...