An Omake sparked by a discussion on Discord...
Taylor, who was lying on her bed reading, slowly turned back a page. She read it carefully, then the next couple, then lowered the book to meet the eyes of the Varga, who was sitting as her twin at her desk noodling around on the internet and snickering about how he was mercilessly trolling Clockblocker with Vista's willing aid.
"We could do that," she said.
"We could indeed," he agreed with a smile, before looking back to the screen of her laptop. "Do you want to?"
"Do you need to ask?"
"Obviously not, but for the purposes of this discussion, it seemed appropriate," he said, glancing over his shoulder. Her own face looked back at her in a way that before the locker would have freaked her out a lot, but now seemed entirely normal and the way things should be. "Should we invite the others to help, or should it be a surprise?"
"I think surprise," she giggled. "Very much a surprise."
"In that case, shall we find an appropriately private place and see what happens?"
"Yep. Basement?"
"Basement."
Both of them got up, looked at each other with identical mischievous grins, and vanished.
"Excellent. Stable dimensional warp, internal structure is good… The energy output is a little low."
"Yeah… OK, what about..."
"Oops."
"Hmm. No, that's probably a little too much." Both of them stared at the results for a moment. "Definitely too much. Nice and warm, though."
"Perhaps we should put this one to one side for our use, and try again with something somewhat safer for others."
"Good idea. It was nearly perfect, though."
The Varga shrugged. "It's a learning experience, I've never done this either. But it's coming along nicely and is a very interesting idea."
"We'll need Amy's help later, for the livestock."
"That can wait for now. All right, let's do that again, but using half the mass. That should still be stable but not quite so… enthusiastic."
"OK." There was silence for a few minutes, broken in the end by a sub-bass THUMP that shook the entire house. "It ignited fine, so that part worked. Now to tune it..."
The odd sizzling sounds that came out of the basement of the Hebert household, which had been massively expanded via Varga magic and dimensional trickery over the last month or so, would have made most people look worried. The only two in the building at the moment, on the other hand, looked satisfied. "Now that's what we're looking for," Taylor said with deep satisfaction.
"Agreed. Shall we make another to check it wasn't a fluke?"
"Yep."
They did.
The THUMP came again. "Perfect! Looks like we cracked it."
"The key would appear to be a slightly lower density to begin with than we originally estimated. The muon flux does seem to help catalyze the reaction, which is in line with what the research paper you read last week theorized."
"We should write it up for Scientific American."
"I suspect they wouldn't believe us." The demon chuckled. "Perhaps we should provide a sample?"
"That's a thought." Taylor looked amused. "Later, though, we need to make a load more of these then add the rest of it before we can do that."
"Yes, that's true enough. I'll just put this one over here with the first one. Perhaps a dozen to start with?"
"That'll do for now. We'll have them finished by this afternoon at this rate."
They resumed work, the THUMPs coming regularly and causing the neighbors to look at the cups rattling in the cupboards with some puzzlement.
"Done."
"Finally. That took longer than I expected."
"It's very detailed work. The main structure is easy enough, but all the fiddly parts inside are definitely not trivial. But I'm very pleased with the end result."
"Me too, it worked even better than I hoped for. Let's finish the instructions and box them up."
"Who are we going to let test them for us?"
Taylor and her demon thought for a while. "Well, Dad would like one. It's even better than that music box I made. Amy, of course… Lisa would get all grumpy if we didn't give her one."
"A grumpy Lisa is a thing of horror."
"So are we, but I get the point," Taylor snickered. "That's three. Randall and Kevin would happily share one. That one, I think."
"All right, that seems reasonable."
"Lucy. She deserves one. Newell would love it."
"Excellent suggestion. In fact, all your friends at school should get one."
"When we've beta-tested them, they might need tweaking a little. OK, let's give one to Vista, she'd absolutely love it, that special one we experimented with over there."
"Why not give one to the Wards as a group as well? That could be amusing."
"Oh, brilliant. With the extra functions?"
"Why not?"
"There's probably a good reason but I can't think of one right now."
"Sanity?"
"No, that's not it… Huh. It'll come to me. Never mind."
She thought some more, then smiled widely. "And one to Director Piggot. She's been really helpful, all things considered, especially since we've really caused her some sleepless nights. Let's give her that one."
The Varga considered her suggestion, then nodded slowly. "Yes, I think you're right. That should do for now, we'll have some spares left over if we need to modify them based on user feedback."
"I wonder what Lisa will come up with for a product brochure?"
"You think we should sell them?"
"Why not? I'd think it would be very popular. Some people need to relax mo… Oooh. I just had a wonderful idea who should get one. It'll drive him nuts trying to work out the hidden meaning but I bet he uses it anyway."
"Now that is truly amusing. We'll need to make a few changes to it, I think."
"Easily done. OK, let's customize them a little and deliver them. It'll be a nice surprise for everyone."
"Well… A surprise, definitely..."
Two identical voices laughed in noticeably different ways, then the house was filled with the sound of reality weeping and trying to look away.
Missy looked at the package the PRT internal mail delivery service had delivered. It was a cardboard box about six inches square and one thick, about the right size for a book. The label on it was addressed to Vista, care of the Wards program, Brockton Bay, and it had another label to say it had been scanned by the security department and nothing suspicious had been found. Picking it up, she shook it curiously, hearing nothing.
Closing the door to her quarters so she could have some privacy, she sat on the bed and turned the box over a couple of times, before retrieving a small pen knife from her desk drawer and slitting the tape holding it closed. Putting the knife down again, she placed the box on her knees and peeled the flaps back. The first thing that she found was a small card, about twice the size of a business card, made of what felt like extremely high quality paper. It had a familiar logo on it, one that made her smile. Picking it up, she read it carefully.
Dear Vista, you have been selected to beta test our latest product, the FamTech™ iWorld®. Your
new iWorld® needs no maintenance, external power supply, or consumables. As a beta test unit
it currently does not come stocked with life, but this can be acquired through BBFO, LLC. An order
form is in the rear of the manual, and custom life can be designed to your specification. Please note
that with few exceptions iWorld® custom life forms are restricted to your iWorld® to prevent
accidental environmental damage.
Please read the manual thoroughly before using your iWorld®. Note that injuries sustained by misuse of
the iWorld® are not covered by the FamTech™ unlimited warranty. As a gesture of goodwill, a supply of
FamTech™ BioFix Instant® capsules are included in the package. While we hope that they will not be needed,
accidents do happen!
While using your new iWorld®, please note any omissions, errors, or suggestions for improvements or additions
on the included survey form, which can be returned to BBFO, LLC, for actioning. Thank you for participating in
this exciting beta-test program, and we hope that your iWorld® will give you many hours of enjoyment.
Sincerely, Saurial, of the Family.
She was slightly amazed, but not as much as she would have been a while back, that all that was printed on a card only two inches by three and was completely readable. Putting it down beside her, she lifted the bubble wrap sheet that was protecting the contents of the box, finding underneath it a nicely printed manual as promised, about half an inch thick, and beneath that a… thing.
She stared at it, mesmerized by all the pretty dimensions that were, to her at least, visibly almost flowing around it in hypnotic patterns. It was by far the most complex instance of that sort of thing that she'd ever seen, putting her own drawings to shame. After close to three minutes of gaping in awe, she reached into the box and removed the whatever-it-was. Holding it, she tried to look past the fractal oddities to see what most people would see, which turned out to be something that looked almost like a wooden book. It was slightly smaller than the box it had come in and perhaps half an inch thick, with a fine seam all around the edges. Feeling it, her fingers found what might be tiny hinges on one side, and a place that moved a little on the other that seemed to be a catch.
Resisting the urge to investigate, since she was well aware that you always read the instructions first, she proceeded to do precisely that. Under a minute later her eyes were wide and round and she was giggling in an unnerving manner.
"What the hell is an iWorld?" Dennis asked, looking at the note that had been in the box that was sitting on the Wards common room table, the label addressing it to them all generally. He'd opened it immediately, Chris taking possession of the manual while he was reading the card with befuddlement. His friend was entirely silent, making him look.
The Tinker was staring at the second page of the small booklet with what looked like complete stunned shock. Puzzled, Dennis walked around behind him and read it over his shoulder.
Both of them kept reading for some time, occasionally shooting the little flat wooden thing that was in the box awed glances, that were slowly being replaced with wider and wider grins.
"So fucking cool..." Lucy breathed, reading the manual carefully, flipping page after page. Newell was lying on her chest as she lay on her bed, his head resting almost on her throat, absorbing her body heat with what looked like complete contentment. She stroked his rough scaly skin absently with one hand while she held the booklet up with the other, astounded by what she'd been given. Half an hour later she finished, carefully moving her iguana to her bed then sitting up. Putting the manual down she instead picked up her brand new FamTech™ iWorld® and inspected it with great interest and anticipation.
"This is going to be fun," she laughed as she got up, getting ready to test the thing. "So much fun."
She was right. It was. And Newell seemed to approve.
"Oh, for god's sake, Taylor," Amy sighed as she looked at the contents of the box. "You can't leave that girl alone for a second, or something like this happens." She read the manual, shaking her head in varying amounts of amusement, resignation, and impressed shock at various points. "Mind you, it's a fucking nice job. I can see some uses for this..."
Shortly she was taking notes, and thinking of what to make for her new iWorld®.
Lisa started laughing hysterically as she read the manual, her power almost hopping up and down at the thought of all the new things to see. Both of them were soon having a wonderful time.
Emily, on her way back from a late lunch, stopped a few seconds after she passed Missy Biron going the other way, heading towards the Ward's on-base quarters. For some reason the girl was carrying an inflatable rubber dingy on her head. The other odd thing was that she was wearing a bathrobe over a swimming costume and had a set of swim fins and a mask and snorkel hooked over her shoulder. Turning back she watched the teenager disappear into her quarters, the corridor and doorway shrinking back to normal from where she'd used her powers to make the inflatable boat fit.
Curious, she retraced her path. The door was closed, but she could faintly hear through it a shout of "Cowabunga!" and an enormous splash.
The PRT director stared at the closed door for some seconds, then finally decided that she did not need to know. Things were going far more smoothly at the moment than normal, most of the oddities of the last couple of months had died down to a background rumble which she could easily ignore, and so far the day had been unusually good. Why risk seeing something she'd have to do something about and ruin it for herself?
She turned around again and walked off.
Going past the Ward's common room a little while later, she stopped and stared as Chris and Dennis came towards her pushing one of the heavy-duty quad-bikes that were occasionally used for off road operations. It only just fitted into the corridor and she had no idea how they'd got it up here from the parking garage.
Both boys stopped dead when they spotted her, looking instantly guilty. "Director," Dennis said politely, although he was sweating a little, not all of it from exertion.
"Gentlemen," she replied, inspecting the vehicle that shouldn't be there. "I assume you have a good reason for this?"
"We do. It's..."
"And you signed that machine out properly?"
"Yes, but..."
"And you're not going to do something with it that will cause me, personally, any problems before I go home tonight?"
"No, but..."
She held up a hand and moved as far to the side as she could. "Carry on."
They looked at her, then the quad-bike, then each other. "Thank you, Director," Chris said in a slightly stunned voice. They pushed the machine past as she half climbed over it. Moments later, the young Tinker somehow managed to open the common room door without the normal delay, looking back at her with a remarkably guilty expression.
She said nothing.
They did a complicated twenty-point turn and succeeded in getting the vehicle through the door, which closed.
She waited.
After about thirty seconds, she heard an engine start. It was a lot fainter than it should have been. A couple of whoops sounded, the engine revved manically, and then the sounds faded away into the distance. A far greater distance than could possibly have been available in the room they'd gone into.
Emily sighed, and resumed walking to her office. "I know, I just know, this is somehow something to do with Saurial and her fucking family."
When she reached her office she went inside with a feeling of relief, heading directly to where she kept a small bottle of something drinkable. After two shots of that, she felt able to go on with her day.
Right up until she spotted the box in the middle of her desk.
Max stared, then closed his eyes. "Oh, god, now what?" he half-sighed, half-moaned. "Those fucking reptiles will be the death of me yet, and the worst part is that I don't think they're even trying..."
Opening them again, he read the page in the manual that had accompanied the delivery which had somehow found its way into his office without going through any of the normal channels. Having scanned it very thoroughly, he'd gingerly opened it and read the note inside.
Even though he knew he shouldn't, considering who was involved, a sort of morbid curiosity had kept him from just throwing the fucking thing away and made him read the manual. Now, finished, he tossed it onto the desk and picked up the small wooden box or whatever it was. It didn't look like much.
After another swig of whiskey, and preemptively removing his shoes and locking them into a desk drawer just to be on the safe side, he got up and walked over to the largest clear wall area in the room. Remembering what the manual had said, he pressed the catch on the side of the box and opened it out flat, then held it against the wall at chest height. Entirely not to his surprise, it stuck exactly as the book had claimed it would.
He stepped back and regarded it, then sighed again. "This is so… stupid," he grumbled. But even so, he raised his hand and loudly snapped his fingers.
There was a very odd sound.
He gaped in shock. Then he moved forward and very gingerly turned the doorknob of the door that had appeared in the wall where the box had been. It clicked and the door opened when he pulled it. A wave of cold air washed out and pooled around his feet, making him shiver.
Stepping forward, he stuck his head through the doorway and looked around. Up, down, and to the sides. Then he knelt down and put his hand out, before retracting it and looking at the snowflakes melting and running to the floor.
"Only in fucking Brockton Bay," he mumbled, genuinely awe-struck. "Those crazy lizards are..." He couldn't think how to finish that thought.
Standing up again, he looked out at the vista before him, before shrugging helplessly. "Why the fuck not? If it's a trick, it's a good one, and if they wanted me dead I'd be dead." Max closed the door and went over to the closet where he kept certain equipment. A little later he walked back, stopping en route to pick up the telephone handset and poke the button that called his assistant.
"Yes, Max?" Victor said.
"If anyone wants me, I'm going skiing," he said.
"Skiing?" His second in command sounded startled. "Where?"
"In my office." Max laughed helplessly, looking at the impossible door. "In my fucking office. Blame the Family. I'll be back in a couple of hours."
"Ah… Whatever you say, Max." Victor's voice sounded very much like a man humoring someone whose sanity was suspect. Putting the phone down without another word, Max went over to the door to his new iWorld®, opened it, and disappeared inside for a couple of hours of sliding down the snow-covered slopes that were in there, under clear blue skies with a bright sun high above.
The door closed with a click and the office was silent again.
"So what did you two get up to today?" Danny asked as he pulled the casserole dish out of the oven, glancing over at Taylor who was making mashed potatoes with the mini-dragon Varga wrapped over her shoulders. Both of them looked pleased with themselves, which was always cause for slight concern.
"Nothing much, Dad," she replied, adding a little milk to the saucepan. "Read a book, did some work in the basement, cleaned the kitchen… It was nice to have a day off for once, we've been so busy for weeks."
"We should go on holiday sometime," he suggested. "Somewhere warm and sunny."
His daughter and her demon exchanged a look. "Funny you should mention that," she giggled. "I made you a present..."