So this was a later addition to the story.

I wanted to address something and I don't mean it in a bad way. A lot of you have said Anne has "friend-zoned" him. While I agree in as far as he is her friend and that is where she needs him to be right now, I can't agree with the sentiment that she doesn't have any inklings of her own feelings for him. BUT Anne needs him to be her friend, the reasons will show later...

I've written this to reveal a little more about what is going on in Anne's head without giving away my modern day plot elements.I hope you all enjoy.

love Carrots x

Studying was draining. Anne knew this, she had been exhausted for weeks.

She felt bad for Gilbert, he held down a job at the student union and kept perfect grades, honestly, she was worried about him, he always worked hard. If there was such a thing as working too hard, she was pretty sure Gilbert had hit it long ago.

They were studying in her little blue room, both were sat on the bed, their own books around them. Anne had hardly noticed the hours past so when she looked up for a moment she took a double take when she saw Gilbert's back against the wall behind him, his book in front of him open at the chapter he had been studying his pen still in hand. It wasn't only his back on the wall but also his head pressed against it, his eyes shut and his breathing steady. She smiled gently and let out a small sigh. She always forgot in the bustle of life just how handsome he was, in an impartial way. His curls still flopped down onto his forehead rebelliously, she'd seen throughout the years Gilbert try different styles for his hair to try and tame it, gel and waxes, it still came back to these soft curls playing on his forehead. Behind his closed eyes were orbs of hazel. In them you saw the frank honest man, but if you knew him you saw so much more! You could see his insecurities (though he often pretended he had none) you could see his joy, you saw just how deep he was, how deeply he cared and was concerned, you could fall into those eyes. His cheekbones were high on his face his dimples only showed when he smiled. His lips, at present was only slightly parted letting out tiny puffs of air as he slept, were dusky pink in colour. Anne licked her lips subconsciously watching his lips, they never looked dry always soft and plump, they, she imagined would be very kissable… to the girl who got to kiss them. Her eyes flicked down to his chin, his strong chin. It framed him so nicely. His face had changed since the first time she saw him. He looked less of a boy, she smiled and thought it funny that he was turning into a man. She could feel her hand playing impatiently next to her wanting to reach to touch his face to feel the contours as she could see them but she reprimanded herself, it wasn't right to look, never mind touch!

'Back off Anne.' She thought to herself. 'You're letting yourself get too close.'

She went back to her book trying to concentrate on the words in front of her, managing for a few seconds before she found herself looking back to him. His t-shirt arms were quite fitted, more fitted then when he first came to college and she wondered for a moment if he had been building himself up, he didn't need to, anyone would tell you that and her mind wandered to under his shirt, before she shook her head in reprimanding herself again.

Sometimes, life wasn't fair.

"Anne!" she heard from behind her one day when Phil and her were walking down the street towards the university buildings, she turned in surprise to see Josie coming towards her with Charlie trailing behind.

"Josie!" Anne exclaimed in surprise as they hugged briefly. "came to see Charlie?" she smiled.

"I decided to come down for the dance on Friday." Josie smiled.

"Oh Fun!" Anne said in return. "Charlie will be glad of your company."

"Hi Phil." Josie smiled, recognising her from her previous visits.

"Hi Josie, how's your courses going?" she asked her.

"Oh really well." Josie smiled "We're busy as bees getting our final project done, but I brought some stuff to study with and we're skyping." She said as Anne's phone noised a message. She pulled it out with a smile she texted back. "Let me guess, Gil?" Josie asked.

"Um, Yeah, it was, how did you know that?" Anne asked her.

"Its, always Gil." Josie said drolly. "I don't suppose you two are official yet?"

Anne rolled her eyes "We don't want to be official, we're happy as we are." Anne defended.

"I doubt it." Josie told her. "I think there's something more to all this."

"What do you mean?" Phil asked.

"Oh well, I mean it's one thing to flirt with a boy, it's one thing to be a best friend with a boy and the two do sometimes cross over I mean its banter you know?" she stopped for a moment then continued "but what Anne is doing is stopping it from going to the next level." Josie observed.

"Who says it me?!" Anne asked defensively.

"Oh please." Josie remarked offhandelely "Gilbert would have slept with you years ago."

Anne's mouth hung open in shock of it being said and she looked to Phil to help her out. "Oh honey, you know I can't help you, he's been head over heels for you since we met!"

Anne looked to her shoes and bit into her bottom lip.

Josie looked to her and took pity "Well how would you classify your relationship with Gil?"

Anne sighed.

"Friend?" Josie asked.

"Yes." She nodded. "but…" she said slowly.

"Yes?" Phil encouraged.

"More than that, I don't know it's like we're best friends but it's not like how Diana and me are best friends, because we have more in common and, less in common at the same time. Like we know each other exactly. I mean we're different sometimes, he's far more logical and can take a step back and I'm far more emotional but it balances when we we're together."

"Do you find him attractive?" Phil asked purely out of curiosity.

"Are you kidding?!" Anne asked looking up and Phil. "I'd need to be blind not to see Gilbert is handsome…" she blushed but she shook her head "it's not his best quality though Phil." Anne said steadily. Before she looked to her feet and she continued "He's unbelievably kind and forgiving. He's possibly the sweetest guy I've ever met." A slight grin coming to her face "he's sensitive and strong, he's intelligent beyond belief, so so smart, he's funny and he can tease you to death." She said with a chuckle. "he's annoying, he makes me want to shout at him sometimes and he's out of his mind, drives me crazy but…" she paused suddenly not saying anything before she whispered "I don't know."

"Gosh, girls could you walk any faster!" Charlie exclaimed finally catching up putting his arm around Josie. "Oh hey Anne." He said casually, not knowing the knight in shining armour he was at that moment.

"Hi Charlie. How's your engineering classes going?" she asked him.

"Oh, very well." He smiled knowledgeably. "Did you know…" he started

"Oh Charlie," Josie reprimanded him. "Anne doesn't care about engineering."

"Yes I do." Anne said trying her best to find a way out of her current predicament. "please tell me Charlie?" she asked him.

Anne got back to her little blue room she sat on her bed. Her legs crossed in front of her she tapped on the bed in front of her for a few seconds before she picked up a pen and paper.

She started writing on the paper.

Gilbert

She tapped the pen on her knee. "Label him." Anne said softly to herself. "define your relationship." She was quite frankly tired of people jumping to conclusions. So if she could define it, put a label on it then maybe she could define it to others.

Friend

She nodded looking at the label. Yes, he was definitely, absolutely a friend. She was satisfied he more then covered the criteria of a friend so she put a tick next to it.

Best Friend

Her mouth screwed as she thought this time. Not because he wasn't her best friend. He certainly was, they had a blast together, they were best friends in so many ways, in every single way actually. She finally nodded putting tick next to it.

She looked to the paper annoyed before she slowly added underneath.

More?

Anne tapped the pen on her knee some more looking round the room as if it held clues, or the answer, either one would do, it was then her digital photo frame turned into a picture of her and Gilbert. She smiled at it. It was the picture of them on prom night which Moody had sent to Gilbert.

She crossed out the 'more?' and replace it with 'boyfriend?'

She looked at the word her eyes filling with emotion as she looked at it.

He was sweet and wonderful. Kind and patient, he was everything a man should be.

But if she loved him… it could ruin everything, all he was would change. She couldn't stand to change him, turn him...

Her thoughts were interrupted as there was a knock on her door. She quickly wiped her eyes before she called "Come in."

The door opened and there stood Gilbert "Hey, you ready to go?" he asked her.

"Go?" she questioned.

"It's Tuesday." He said to her confused. "We need our weekly dose of bad music to various poetry, don't tell me you'd forgotten? I suppose we have a little while yet." he went over to her bookcase and smiled picking out a book "Hemingway in Hardback?" he asked her "niiceee!" he said with a smile to it flicking the pages starting to read.

"Diana saw it said she couldn't resist buying it for me." She said closing her notebook and putting it on her desk.

"Um…" he said almost ignoring her reading.

"Lost you now." She scoffed. She opened her wardrobe looking for a jacket. "it must be downstairs."

"Um…" he responded.

She rolled her eyes "be back in a minute." She said exiting the room.

It was a few seconds before Gilbert looked up and looked confused on how Anne had disappeared then remembered their, or rather Anne's conversation. He scoffed at himself and put the book back on the bookshelf, the he stopped and looked at the notepad Anne had just been writing in. He loved reading her notes, they always seemed to make the subject matter more interesting so he flicked to the last page written on and to his surprise found

Gilbert

Friend

Best Friend

More?

Boyfriend?

His eyes were wide for a moment and his heart raced in his chest he found his hand shaking as it held the paper open before he heard Anne's footsteps coming up the stairs he slipped his hand out of the page letting it fall back to its natural resting place and took a few steps away from the desk, he turned as she walked in the room.

"You ready?" she asked him.

"Are you?" he asked his mouth dry.

"Lets go." She smiled.

Friday came and Gilbert came to Patty's place for Friday night as he often did. He wasn't greeted by Anne but instead Phil who looked relieved at Gilbert as she saw his face.

"Oh thank the Lord!" Phil exclaimed dragging him in the house.

"Phil?" he asked confused. "What's going on?"

"Anne got a letter in the afternoon post, on opening it she ran to her bedroom and shut the door, she won't let anyone in I heard her crying. I don't know what's going on she won't respond to the door." She told him. "Please if there is something you can do?..." but she was too late he was already tackling the stairs two steps at the time.

He knocked on the door gently "Anne?" he said equally as gently. "Anne, its me." He called.

He heard the click of her door being unlocked before she opened the door and together they stepped into each other's arms, Anne crying into him. "Its okay." He whispered. "Its okay, you're safe to cry." He whispered to her. "I'm here, you don't have to be alone anymore." He said to her.

"Gil…." She sobbed quietly. "I can't do it, I can't do it anymore." She said between sobs.

He took a breath and brought her in closer "Can't do what?" he asked her.

"I'm not good enough…" she sobbed.

Gilbert felt mortified. "Listen to me Anne, listen…" he whispered. "No matter what it is, no matter how bad it is, you need to understand one thing Anne…" he told her "You are good enough." He whispered to her his heart-breaking for her.

"I'm not, I'm not." She cried.

"What happened?" he asked her.

She handed him the letter she had in her hand and flopped on the bed "it's no good Gilbert I'm in the depths of despair, I can't do it, I can't write, I can't continue at university on a lie."

"Dear Miss Shirley, we regret to inform you your story Avril's Atonement has been rejected by our quality control." He whispered reading it. He took a deep breath and sat on the bed next to her stroking her back. "I can't tell you it will get published, it's not my job." He admitted. "But, what I can say for certain is that some of the best-known authors got knocked back time and time again. What if JK gave up after Harry was rejected for the first time? We'd have no Harry Potter, that's what." Gilbert told her "No, Avril may not be everyone's cup of tea, take this story and learn from it, pour your knowledge your passion your life into them!" Gilbert advised her. "If only you could see you as I see you." He told her "You wouldn't doubt yourself for a moment!"

Anne turned and looked up at him. "Really?" she asked him.

"Oh yeah!" he said emphatically. "You can do whatever you want to Shirley." He told her smoothing back her hair.

She sobbed for a moment before she whispered. "Gil?" she asked.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Hold me Gil." She whispered.

He didn't feel himself breath for a moment as he tried to work out if she meant it. He took off his shoes and lay parallel with Anne on the bed his head just above hers. They cuddled in their arms wrapping around each other.

"Thank you Gil." She whispered.

"No problem." He whispered back.

"Can we stay here a while? I don't think I can face the others yet." She told him.

"Sure." He confirmed.

An hour later Gilbert had become relaxed, Anne had fallen asleep at least fifty minutes ago he let her sleep on him, she had exhausted herself crying. He loved her sensitives, he could only compare it to a child's, untarnished and untamed from the world. Her sensitivity was innocent and he could only love her more. She woke suddenly jumping before he said "its okay, you're safe." He whispered.

"Gil." She croaked her head shaking burying her head in his chest "Oh now this is embarrassing." She said honestly.

"No need to be embarrassed." He assure her.

"No?" she asked "I fell asleep on you."

"Means you're comfortable with me, I'm honoured." He said still soft.

She looked up at him and whispered. "Do you mean it?"

He looked down to her looking into her eyes "Of course." He told her.

"No I mean about the writing?" she asked him.

His hand cupped her cheek gently his eyes not moving from hers, their faces came close together their noses rubbed for a moment before they felt the warmth from their mouths… Gilbert's eyes flicked to Anne whose eyes were closed before he slowly closed his.

The knock at the door made them jump back in surprise. Gilbert thought his heart would leap out of his chest at the emotions he was feeling in that moment, before he could gather his thoughts she had sat up on the bed offering her hand to him to help him up.

"Come in." She called as she pulled him up.

"Finally, Queen Anne!" Phil exclaimed. "What happened?!"

"Oh, its nothing." Anne said quietly, "I was being silly."

Phil looked back and forth between the two friends before she asked slowly "Was I, interrupting anything?" she asked them.

"No." they exclaimed together.

Phil looked at the suspiciously before she seemingly changed the subject "Are you ready for our Friday night?" she asked Anne "Charlie said he was coming along too." Phil said lightly.

Anne stood up and straighten herself out "best get to it then." She said walking straight past her and down the hall into the bathroom.

Phil pulled her sympathising face at Gil and said "Sorry."

Gilbert shook his head half in dismay himself he got up and smiled lightly "Can you accompany me downstairs?" he asked her lightly.

"Well, thank you Gilbert." She said back sensing not to say anything.