Hi Everyone!

So here we are. We knew we'd get there in the end because of the nature of this story... Oh my goodness! This is one of those chapters which is so pinnacle, and I'm so sorry in advance.

Oh and guest, I'm so glad someone noticed that at the end of that conversation, I put it in deliberately! When no one was mentioning it I thought it was wasted... and the you reviewed!

love Carrots x

"You know what I love about the snow?" Anne asked him as they put the finishing touches on their snowman. The term had come and gone quickly and Anne had finished her midterms just that afternoon. The winter had come in fast and the snow lay several inches deep on the ground.

"I love how magical it is!" He smiled as she continued. "Do you remember that cartoon thing with the flying snowman?" She asked him he smiled and nodded his head. "I always loved the idea of flying with him through the air." She said with a smile. "Do you ever dream you're flying Gil?" she asked him.

"Sometimes." He said quietly.

"I do." She said chuckling "often."

"It's meant to represent freedom, according to dream psychologists." He said.

"Do you believe in them?" She asked him.

He shrugged "Yes and No." he said. "I think sometimes it has everything to do with your subconscious mind trying to release the right chemicals to help your conscious mind deal with things." He started "but at the same time, sometimes it's just a dream." He shrugged. "Maybe we'll cover it in some of the psychology lectures." He said with a grin. "Do you really want to?" he asked her.

"Cover it in psych?" she asked genuinely confused.

He chuckled "No, fly!"

"Oh that!" she said with a laugh bowing her head. "Yes, I do, who wouldn't?" she asked rhetorically.

A grin appeared on Gilbert's face which Anne couldn't mistake he played grabbed her as she squealed "No Gil!" she protested as he lifted her in his arms

"Trust me." He told her.

"Don't you have to be trained to lift a girl like that?!" she asked him.

"I can lift you easy, come on!" he laughed his eyes twinkling. He lifted her by the waist and held her high in the air. Honestly, she knew she was safe as she brought her arms out and proclaimed "I'm flying!" she said. Below her she heard Gilbert false sing "we're walking in the air!" she laughed for a moment giving into the moment and letting herself go in his arms.

"I'm free!" she yelled. He laughed gently then brought her back down to earth. Her whole body pressed against his and they stood close in the snow.

She blushed under his gaze and as she moved away she began to slip in the snow. "Oh no!" she exclaimed knowing she was going down, she grabbed at Gilbert who was far less stable on his feet then she thought came tumbling down with her.

They laughed in the moment as they always did "I thought you were sturdy!" she reprimanded him.

"Apparently not!" he exclaimed pulling back from her shoulder. They were lay Anne snug against the snow and him on top of her.

He looked into her sparkling eyes, grey with the specks of green in them, he thought her the most gorgeous creature on the earth. He brought his gloved had up to her face stroking her there on her face before he brought his lips to hers. To his surprise her lips responded to his, the graze of a kiss deepened as she responded and relaxed in his arms. He wrapped her closer to him a tiny sigh of contentment escaped his throat before he flinched back ashamed of the noise her had made. He looked at her tentively only to see her bite her bottom lip playfully before their lips met again. This time he allowed his own responses relax their mouths parting slightly he brought his tongue to her lips asking for access to which she opened her mouth a little giving him the access he looked for, he brought her closer again as the kiss deepened more she relaxed again in his arms bringing her gloved hand into his curls playing with them with her fingers. His teeth grazed at her bottom lip as he brought himself out for a moment she giggled as he did so, Gilbert struggled to verbalise anything for a moment and when he could the only words to escape was a whisper

"I love you Anne."

He hugged quickly into her kissing into her neck, she suddenly pulled back in arms his breath released and had started to let out a quiet whimper.

"I can't let you!" she said pulling away so quickly Gilbert still had her imprint in his arms. "I can't!"

"Um…" He started as she stood up and started walking away. His breaths were still deep his head still light, 'how can she just stand up and walk away' he thought to himself. He pulled himself from the ground and followed after her. "Anne…" he called to her he jogged though the snow to catch up to her. "Anne please wait?" he asked of her.

"I can't." she said shaking her head as he caught up and tried to take her hand. "Don't touch me!" she exclaimed.

His hands went in the air beside him. "I just want to talk about what happened just then." He said gently.

"There's nothing to talk about." She said her eyes deliberately avoiding his but he could see her eyes were filling with tears

"Anne we were making out then I said 'I love you' and you run away." He said to her confused. "There's something to talk about."

"No!" Anne protested again.

Gilbert started shaking though it was cold it wasn't the reason he was shaking. He could feel Anne slipping though his fingers. "I don't understand Anne, Please help me understand." he asked of her.

"I can't…" she shook her head then said quietly, "You... You promised me you wouldn't change." She told him.

"I'm not." He said.

"But love changes you and it would change you and you can't! You promised not to." She said.

He stood wordless for a few seconds his head spinning, he couldn't have misread everything surely? "I'm not changing Anne, this has been a long time coming, we're together for hours at a time, we go to everything together, we hug we kiss we're so close Anne, surely Shirley you must feel it!"

"Please don't change! Please please…" She almost begged finally breaking into tears.

He couldn't bare it, seeing her sad killed him. He wrapped his arms around her holding her close. "What are you holding back? What aren't you telling me?" he asked her gently. "you can tell me anything, you know that right?" he asked her to which he swore for a second she paused before a new wave of tears came. He held her there his own tears running down his face. "Cry all you need to Shirley." He whispered then kissed her lightly in her hair. "I won't change, not if you don't want me to."

They stood there hugging for a couple of minutes while she got her tears under control.

He took a sigh as she pulled back and looked at him for a moment "Where do we go from here?" she asked him quietly.

"I'm not sure." He admitted. "If you don't love me…" he started.

"I didn't say that." She whispered.

He single chuckled before he said "You didn't need to." They were silent for a few minutes before he continued. "I think what we need is some perspective." He said trying to work through it logically.

"Perspective?" she asked.

"Um." He said in affirmation. "Space and time to think." He said at first not looking at her but then his eyes flickered to hers.

"I'm not following?" she said.

"There's a…" he started finally coming back to himself "…um… student exchange I've been recommended for with NYU. It would mean a semester, maybe two studying there." He told her.

"Are you going?" she asked him shocked.

"Give me a reason to stay?" he whispered to her trying desperately to hold onto something, some small sign of affection from her.

"So you were what going to kiss and run anyway? What's the point in all this?!"

"I didn't plan this!" he told her. "This has been bottled up for so long…"

"So when you kissed me back there you thought what?"

"I thought we were the kind of couple who could survive long distance for a while, especially since I'd be coming back over the holidays anyway." He told her then he half scoffed "it appears we can't even do short distances."

"We're not a couple!" Anne retorted hotly.

"And that's why we both need space!" he argued back. "I know you don't like the fact, but I do love you Anne, but if I have to walk around here every day and seeing you every day and acting as though I don't love you, I don't think I can do it anymore. If there's some distance at least we can work it out in our own heads and give ourselves the space we need to figure out what we are who we are to each other."

"That's not fair!" she exclaimed. "You're making me choose between loving you or nothing at all!" Anne exclaimed.

"That's the choice you've given me!" he shouted.

"I want my best friend in my life!" she shouted back.

"And I want your love!" he yelled finally his face red, from cold and anger and pain and grief "and you've just told me I can never have that!" he continued "I can't just switch off my feelings for you! Don't you get it? Can't you and that brilliant imagination of yours just imagine for a moment that you do love me and you had to act as though we were 'just friends'? Can't you see how painful that could be?" he asked her. "I have never been in love before I met you and all I'm saying is that we need some space, just a little so we can get a perspective, just for a little while."

"A semester or two?!" she exclaimed "That's practically a year! That's not a 'little while'."

He looked down at his feet his boot playing with the snow at his feet. "Please just give me time please?!" he asked.

She stood silent for a moment before she talked "and when you get back we'll still be friends right? You'll talk to me and we can work through this?" she asked.

He silently nodded though Anne was sure she could see a glisten in his eyes as if he was holding back tears.

"When you're gone, can we talk?" she asked.

"Maybe not for a little while." He asked quietly. "Just for a little bit of space." He whispered.

"That's all your asking for is space?" she asked him.

He sighed. He wanted to ask for so much more, he wanted to ask for the exact opposite, he wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her senseless until she came to her senses about this! "Just space." He said quietly.

"Okay." Anne agreed.

They walked back to Patty's Place in silence. Nothing could be said in the moment. Nothing that would help. It would all be destructive if they did so neither one of them said anything. He stood by the gate as she walked up the garden path and she turned at the door and looked at him sadly.

Anne was rarely wrong in moments of emotion. Her stomach turned and she felt a part of her walk away as he did. She knew things wouldn't be the same with Gilbert again.

"You did what?!" Phil exclaimed to Anne "Oh Anne how could you!"

Anne had recounted that evenings events, she had sat in tears telling her and Phil's reaction was the last thing she expected.

"Not you too Phil." Anne replied. "I've already lost Gilbert this evening I can't lose you."

"Oh don't be utterly ridiculous!" Phil exclaimed sitting next to her "You could never lose me." She told Anne. "You're stuck with me now." She sighed. "Its just Gilbert." Phil said confused as she looked to Anne. Anne didn't look at her at first "I backed off Gilbert for you." She said. Anne looked to her in shock "well I backed off Gilbert because it was obvious he, well he looked at you like you were Aphrodite." To which Anne burst into tears. "Oh Anne!" Phil said putting her arms around her. "Oh sweetie, I'm sorry." She whispered. "I shouldn't have been so harsh."

"But its true!" Anne cried. "I've treated him terribly!" she sobbed between the tears.

"Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry." She sighed "Despite what happened tonight he was your best friend."

"Was." She sobbed. "Past tense." She cried more.

Phil cringed at herself. "I suppose you need to reconstruct your whole world."

Anne signed and then whispered in her tear "with no Gilbert in it."