I've done very little writing over the past few weeks these have all been written as a whole for weeks, I'm working on the equivalent time of Gilbert at medical school and the beginning of being married and I have a few ideas just not on paper yet. lets just slow it down! (I'm kidding I'm not) but you may have some radio silence for a while from me while I work on it!

But right now we are here and its very painful, but trust me the time is coming where they'll be able to talk again, where they are happy and together and what Anne is hiding from Gilbert will be said and she'll see, its him... its always been Gilbert!

Just wait!

love

Carrots x

It was less than 48 hours later when Roy appeared at Patty's place, with 24 red roses. He looked sadly at her as she entered the front room and everyone else made themselves scarce for a while.

"What do you want?" Anne asked him.

"To apologise." He admitted.

She swallowed and looked at the flowers "and you do that with grand gestures of pretty flowers?" she asked him.

"They are cliché for a reason." He admitted before he put them on the coffee table. "Flowers aside." He continued "I didn't mean what I said."

"which was?" she asked, wondering if he knew what he did wrong.

"I didn't mean to push you into making a decision over having sex." He told her. "Tell me love where am I going wrong?"

She sat on the sofa and he followed suit. "You do as you say you will and you give me time to think, but its only a couple of weeks and just when I start to feel not intimated by your past…" she thought for a moment before she continued "…proposals, you're pressing again for an answer that I'm not ready to give yet."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Can we try again Anne?" he asked her, not giving her the chance to answer he kissed her then said "there all is well."

Anne sighed, she knew not all was well but was past breaking objects over boys head. She reprimanded herself for thinking of Gilbert then changed the subject "Can I ask you something?" she asked him.

"Of course." He assured her.

"Well, just, the other night I said to go and get…" she trailed and with red cheek "it won't change anything we were broken up but I just need to know, did you?" she asked him. He swallowed and looked to her with guilty face. To which she nodded in understanding of what he was saying but not.

"Start over?" he asked her.

"Start over." She agreed.

Anne opened the door at Patty's place to find Mrs Gardner on the other side. "Mrs Gardner?" Anne said surprised.

"Hello Anne." She said to her. "May I come in?" she asked Anne.

Anne looked surprised and nodded her head then said "Yes of course, come in please." She agreed.

Mrs Gardner went into the front room to find not one but three cats there. She looked to the animals with an offensive glare. "Are these all yours?" she accused Anne.

Anne looked to the felines and smiled. There was only three but they reminded her of the Mrs Blythe who didn't hate her. The cat she had been stroking in particular 'Rusty' was her particular favourite, they had gone through a rough patch immediately after Gilbert had stopped coming, Rusty had loved Gilbert. But the cat soon came to realise Anne missed him as much as she did so took comfort in Anne again. "Only Rusty." She admitted.

"I see." She said her nose upturning. Anne's smile reflected her inside 'Mrs Blythe would talk you down'. She thought. "I'm here Anne out of concern for my boy." She said perching on the end of the chair in the corner.

"Oh?" Anne asked.

"It's not against you Anne, exactly but you weren't breed for him." She continued. "well for the role, you understand."

Anne looked confused. "I'm afraid I don't Mrs Gardner."

"The women he marries needs a certain, social standing." She tried.

Anne chuckled and looked to her "You're being serious?" she asked her. "Mrs Gardner, the type of relationship you have with your son is between you and him and if you are privy to his intimate love life then again that is between you and he, but you are not privy to mine." Anne told her.

"But it concerns me, it concerns all of us!" Mrs Gardner continued. "You have no money, no connections, you come from nowhere and expect…"

"I expect nothing." Anne told her. "Excuse me Mrs Gardner I thought Royal made it clear the other night, he would use protection."

"well yes…" she said.

"Then the rest is none of your business." She paused only for breath "and as for his responsibilities to his social connections, I would suggest consulting him."

"I know he's having sex!" Mrs Gardner demanded. "The maid found the condoms in his bin!"

Anne heart raced. 'Condoms? More than one' she wondered but soon looked to Mrs Gardner "if he is having sex, its not with me!" she told her annoyed.

Mrs Gardner looked to her and remained silent for a moment. "Really?" Anne took a deep breath her mouth clamped shut and raised her eyebrow while moving her head in acknowledgement. "I think you are right, not having sex with him dear." Mrs Gardner said.

Anne folded her arms then said "We will make that decision Mrs Gardner." Anne told her. "Not you."

"I see." She said finally standing. "I was hoping to come here to make peace Miss Shirley."

"You were hoping to make peace by demanding details of my intimate love life?"
"My son's love life."

"Well I think we've proven they are not one and the same thing." Anne said to her.

"Anne there's post for you!" Phil called to her.

Anne came down the stairs and looked at the envelope as Phil handed it to her. "Oh," she said confused. "Its from my publishers." She said confused, she dropped her bag and opened the envelope and read the contents. "What!?" she exclaimed confused.

"Anne?" Phil asked.

"No!" She protested turning on her heal and walking up the stairs. "No no…"

"Anne!" Phil called after her not really believing Anne would just up and go like she did, Phil followed her up the stairs to her bedroom door.

"Oh. No no no!" Anne protested opening her door, she quickly reached into some papers and read what was on there too. "No." She said tears had stared forming "I can't believe it, they can do it and I can't do anything about it!" Anne protested.

"Anne!" Phil exclaimed holding her by her arms for a second, "snap out of it and explain to me what's happened!" Phil demanded.

"My story, the one of Averil, that I wrote back in freshman year." Anne started. "Well when I signed with the publisher in the contract it says they can use the material in written 'and like media', well-meaning or at least I thought newspapers and magazines…." She exclaimed "But they written here to tell me it's to be used in an infomercial… for chewing gum!" Anne exclaimed.

"Chewing gum?" Phil questioned. "Well Gil and I read it and there was nothing about chewing gum in it? Was there?" she asked.

"No, they've 'amended accordingly' and they can and they can use it its right here in the contract!" she exclaimed her tears now rolling down her face.

"Let me look at that!" Phil exclaimed. "My Daddy is a lawyer if there's a loophole we'll find it."

"It's too late they're airing it in three days time!" Anne said.

To which they heard a knock at the door downstairs. Phil went to answer it and returned with a concerned looking Roy.

"Oh sweetheart!" he said sympathetically sweeping her up in his arms "What's making you cry so much?" he said smoothly sitting on her bed with her.

"My story was with the publishers and they took it and changed it for a chewing gum advert!" she cried.

He looked at her for a moment and paused "A chewing... Is this over a fictional character?"

"Averil was my romance!" she said sniffing still.

He looked at her and told her "But that's what you have me for." He said rubbing her arm with his hand. "Hey, all this crying over a fictional character is ridiculous, you'll see in time it doesn't matter." He said to her. She looked up at him and took a deep sigh. He was being genuine and she did know it was silly really.

"Let me take you out." He said with a smile.

"Roy, you don't need to." Anne protested.

"No dear, but I want to." He told her.

"Gil come on!" Christine called him "the game is about to start again!"

"I'm coming!" he exclaimed, running back from the kitchen. "I can't believe you don't have these in America." He said opening his ketchup flavoured chips. "Um." He said as he popped one in his mouth.

"Do you two want to be alone?" Christine asked him with a grin.

"Alas you would satisfy me until half time." He said talking to the packet. "Not a very lasting relationship is it?" he said popping another one in his mouth. "Want one?" he asked her offering her the bag.

"No thanks, gluten." She said shaking her head.

He looked confused for a moment before he looked at the bag. "I'm pretty sure these are gluten free." He admitted looking at the information on the back.

"Fat then, either way I'm not eating them and I don't know how you can." She told him.

"Live a little." Gilbert said with a smile.

"You're pre-med, you know you shouldn't eat such trash." She said with a huff.

"I'm not pre-med yet, I've not got my MCAT back yet." He reminded her.

"Oh, you'll pass and you know it, and anyway the point of all this..." she said her hand flung out to the relaxed atmosphere "was to get you to forget about MCAT and midterms, I feel like I've not seen you all semester."

"If I want to get into Medical School I had to study for my MCAT."

"Study yes, you don't have to become a hermit and get top marks for everything you know."

His face very quickly dropped with the name 'Averil' came up on the infomercial. He looked in amazement at the television moving forward on the sofa.

"You'll never…" she started

"Shhhh!" he said trying to listen to it.

His heart dropped to his stomach. This was part of Anne's story. Changed, but undoubtedly hers. His mouth fell open and he whispered "Oh Anne." He said, knowing she would be devastated.

Christine didn't hear what he had said but could see Gilbert's reaction. "Gilbert?" she asked him, as the advert came to an end.

"I have to go." He said standing up.

"Now?" she asked him. "We're in a middle of a game?" she asked him.

"I don't care about the game." He said picking up his keys and said to her "see you later Christine." He said blindly and walked out the door. He got in his car and turned the keys.

"Averil, it had to be Averil." He said to himself shaking his head. "It just a story Blythe," he reminded himself "but it's not how she will see it." He continued to talk to himself, pausing for a moment. "That was her baby," he told the empty space. "and now its been tattooed over a chewing gum advert." He shook his head. "She won't think of the extra money or publicity, she doesn't care about that, she's a romantic soul." He found himself over the road from of Patty's place he parked but didn't stop the engine as suddenly remembered.

He hadn't talked to Anne in over a year.

One years 10 months and 24 days to be precise.

And it hit him all over again.

He'd been working off instinct.

He missed her.

The door opened and she came out with him. Unaware of his presence he watched her come outside. Her eyes weren't sparkling there was a hallowness there which pained him. He stopped himself from getting out of the car and holding her tight until the hallow went and she was herself again. It hurt him to do it. But he couldn't, not with him there. He pulled out the spot and moved away.

He had no place here.

Anne felt the car go past and she looked to it curiously.

"Is everything okay sweetheart?" Roy asked her.

"Yes." Anne said. "Just thought I saw an old friend." She admitted and she shook her head before she pushed her glasses back up her face and said "Now where's my coffee?" she asked him.

"You again?" she asked him sitting beside him on her bed.

"I just keep coming back." He said.

She looked to him curiously. "Was that you in the car today?" she asked him.

"Yes." He said.

"You would say that, figment of my imagination." She huffed.

"well what does that say about your subconscious?" he asked her, "You wanted it to be me?" he asked.

"Of course I wanted it to be you. I don't need to go to my subconscious to figure that out."

"And what would I say? If it was me?" he asked her.

"That I'm a romantic soul, that I should do something practical with the extra money, that no one will mock me, that all the greats have been reduced down to popular culture, that one day, I will write a great Canadian Novel, that I can be whoever I want to be." She said.

He nodded. "That's exactly what I'd say." He agreed. "So?" he asked.

"So?" she reflected.
"Why don't you believe it?" he asked her.

It was then she woke up. It took her a few moment before she got up and moved towards her underwear draw, pulling out the old picture. She sat on her bed and looked at the picture again.

She took a couple of times to say it between small sobs into the night but she eventually managed. "Because you didn't say it."

Gilbert was walking down Main Street when he saw it in the window. He stopped and looked at for a moment smiling as the memory played back in his head.

Seventeen year old Gilbert was at a loss as to how to get Anne Shirley to talk to him. The detentions were a long and hard slug and he was opening up to her like her had never opened up to anyone before. This it seemed couldn't be helped. He was sure her spirit cared just her outward appearance didn't.

So he would try it the old fashioned way.

He had sweet talked Diana into finding out her favourite flowers, which were Lily of the Valley's, this had made him smile. Daisies were Ruby's, Orchids were Josie's, Roses were Diana's. Each one revealing part of the girls personalities, Ruby was happy and sunny, Josie was aloof and had a superiority complex, Diana was your classical lady.

Lily of the Valley's were delicate and beautiful, humble and sweet, and were said to bring luck in love and also in the right circumstances deadly. So he had bought her flowers, not wanting to see them go to waste he decided not to sign the card.

So he had gone to the sweet shop expecting to buy chocolates, but then he looked up and it hit him.

Each lesson he made it into the lesson before her and each time she walked in she found a love heart sweet on her desk (He had made sure they weren't the romantic ones!)

'You're beautiful'

'you're funny'

Anne had eaten the first three no problems, then came their detention together where Gilbert left two on the desk.

'Forgive me' and 'You're Sweet'

When she had walked in the room and saw the sweets, not even with a flinch, she picked them up and crushed them into the floor.

Not unlike Gilbert's heart.

His lips unturned his face softened, he missed her, maybe they could start over and be friends again, let her know it was him without letting onto Gardner it was him and maybe a necklace would help her remember her parents necklace and finally maybe, they could at least start talking again!

He went into the shop and bought the item, then decided to make this pack a little bit more personal.

Maybe then, they could open a dialogue.

"Oh Roy!" Marilla exclaimed upon opening her present from him, "I can't take this, its too expensive!" she exclaimed.

"No not at all Miss Cuthbert," he protested with a smile to her "Consider it a thank you for inviting me to your home so often, you're guest room I must admit is the prettiest and more charming guest room I've stayed in and of course that's not to mention all that you do for Anne." He said with a smile putting his arm around her. Roy didn't hear the small 'hpfm' coming from Davy where Anne gave him a warning look.

"well, that's very kind." Marilla said with her best smile. "The little box there Anne that's for you." Marilla said.

"Oh?" Anne asked surprised, "but I've had all my presents?" she questioned as it was passed to her.

"its not from us Anne, we found it on the porch this morning when we went for wood." Marilla told her.

Anne looked at the wrapped gift perplexed "Is this from you?" she asked Roy.

"No sweetheart, I would have no need to leave it outside would I?" he said just as perplexed as she was. "Is there a note?" he asked.

"No, nothing." Anne admitted then opened the package.

The first thing to hand was the small box which she opened with a gasp. There in front of her was an enamel heart in a plush pink and a little chain.

"sweethearts?" Roy asked at the other item in the package "Who would send you a juvenile candy for Christmas?"

Anne looked at the items with tears in her eyes her lips in a sweet smile. She looked up briefly the only other person in the room without a perplexed look on their faces was Davy whose face had soften at the change in Anne's face. They nodded silently, only they understood.

Gilbert.

That was all she could think of. It was him and she knew it.

When they returned to university Anne decided to try and approach him on their next meeting although she knew he had a busy schedule she did see him at the Freudian Social, they had seen each other across the room she had smiled at him and he shyly at her, but it was only a few seconds before a rather angry looking Christine caught them mid gaze and pulled Gilbert off to some unknown location for the rest of the night. So it was a dance two weeks later where Anne next saw him, Roy had gone to the bathroom to freshen up so when Anne saw him alone across the room she started towards him.

"Hello Anne." She heard from beside her a little dry and droll voice said. She looked to the owner to see Christine "It was Anne wasn't it?" she asked her.

"Yes." Anne said nervous all of a sudden. "How are you Christine?" she asked her.

"Oh very well thank you, but you know you can't help but be well around certain company." She said with a smooth laugh her hand going across her chest, "but then you'll remember won't you?" she said the sides of her lips upturning.

"Um..." Anne started.

"Oh don't get me wrong sweetie," she said condescendingly. "I am glad you told him no." She continued seeing Anne flinching her confidence draining "left him wide open for me." She said with a smile "well left you wide open for Royal too," she continued "and everyone knows you're with him for his money, lets admit it can't be for anything else..." she chuckled "but then you'll know Gilbert is a real man, Roy is just pretending, you should know after all..."

Anne's cheeks coloured for two reason. She knew now, Christine must have done it with Gilbert. The feeling felt like a knife in her gut and she had just turned it by talking about Roy "Don't talk about them that way!" Anne managed to whisper.

"Like what sweetie?" she asked.

"Like they are pets to be compared and trained."

Christine seemed to cackle "but they are Anne, can't you see how well I'm training Gilbert." She told Anne, it was in that second Gilbert looked to see them talking. He smiled and he started moving across the room "Am I making myself clear?" she asked Anne.

Anne couldn't breath, he was getting closer and would soon be here, she just needed his touch again and she would be fine, but instead, she knew she couldn't "Crystal." Anne said in reply and she turned and made a by-line for the door.

Gilbert stopped at Christine and asked her "What were you talking to Anne about?" he asked. "Is she okay?"

"Oh Anne?" Christine said sweetly "Girl talk you know, she was fine, she went to find Roy."

It was that night Roy had suggested something quite sensible in her opinion. He took sex off the cards, but instead a sleepover. Just them in the bed together, no sex, just sleeping. In the moment it certainly had put Anne at ease, but as she lay there, four in the morning, not a wink of sleep balancing on the edge of the kingsized bed just to be sure he wasn't going to come near here, she was starting to suspect it was a bad idea.

She sighed sadly, is this what it would be like to share a bed with him? Laying awake every night wondering if he'd pounce. Which was ridiculous he could hardly pounce when he was snoring heavily in the bed beside her, snoring was definitely asleep.

She was also annoyed to no end. Her mind kept going back to Gilbert. Gilbert let out tiny puffs of air which were sweet and quiet, Roy was like a locomotive! There was no way she could sleep next to him like this where she had fallen asleep willingly in Gilbert's arms the night she had failed to get Averil published.

This wasn't fair.