I'm a couple of hours early in uploading today.
Firstly can I say a huge thank you to you all for the responses from last weeks chapter. It was hard to write and even harder to publish because you never know people's reactions. its a hard and serious topic so thanks guys.
And the story continues...
Anne had carefully picked out the dress she would wear. The dress itself was a little light green mint colour it was strapless with a sweetheart neck line. It was covered in a Bird Embroidered mess which came above her knee. She stood in her bedroom looking herself in the mirror, it was a bodycon dress a one she noticed Roy noticing on other girls, frequently. Her hair was down her back she had let it wave down her back the waves in loose spirals down her back The only thing in her hair was a thin green hairband. She put on her shrug which was likewise a light green mint one which matched the dress she opened a small box which lay on top of her dresser. She gazed at it a moment before she decided to put the item round her neck, a small heart shaped pendent which Gilbert had sent her. That's when there was a knock on her door.
"Come in." Anne called and in came Phil, she stood her mouth a jar for a moment and said to her "why Anne!" she exclaimed. "nine nights out of ten we look equally as beautiful then that one time you'll outshine me by far." She sighed "And today is one of them." She whispered.
"thank you." Anne said with a smile. "What's that you got?" Anne asked her of the big box that she carried.
"More flowers." Phil stated.
"Looks a bit fancy for Blake's tastes." Anne observed with a laugh.
"They aren't for me they're for you queen Anne." Phil told her, she said sitting on her bed and looking on her bedside table "Oh, I haven't seen this picture of you and Gilbert for years!" Phil exclaimed with a chuckle to it. "Its a good job you don't bring Roy up here he'd wonder why." She said with a saucy smile.
"I only just put it there from it being in the draw." Anne admitted quietly.
"Are you talking to Gilbert again?" she asked.
"Of sorts." She replied quietly with a soft smile. Anne looked at the box curiously "Roy already sent me flowers .I wonder what these are?" She said the orchid's sitting downstairs.
"Well I didn't send them!" Phil proclaimed popping them on the bed. "So come on open them!" she exclaimed. Anne opened the box to find the most beautiful bunch of lily of the valleys. "Anne!" Phil gasped.
Anne's mouth dropped opened in amazement.
'"Well in order to greet the future I'll buy you a bouquet of your favourite flowers for graduation."
She looked at his quizzically "You know my favourite flowers?" she asked him.
"I do that." He admitted. "Lily of the Valleys."
She looked surprised at him before she said "well yes they are, but how do you know that?"
He grinned and pressed his forefinger to his nose a couple of times "A man must have his secrets."
She laughed for a moment before she said "You promise flowers?" she asked him.
"Upon my honour." He said taking hold of her hand.' She remembered.
He had kept his promise.
"There's no card!" Phil proclaimed. "Ummm, someone wants to be anonymous." Phil sad deflated and defeated.
"Yeah." Anne said her heartstrings pulling at her as she looked at them. She picked a few out and decided to make a flower crown for her head.
What do you think you are doing?!" Roy had exclaimed to her. "Wearing a dress like that!" he exclaimed.
"What?" She questioned. Anne had become more and more defiant as late. Roy couldn't work out where it had came from. She had never been like this before, the first time he noticed was right after the last time they had been on a break. She had admitted him back in her life but she was different. A glint of mischief was in her eyes since his day of three's, the day his car had been scratched and he had received that black eye, she was no longer agreeable one hundred percent of the time, she had started to wear her hair in waves and she had rid her glasses! This, this was just the latest in a series of tight fitted clothes she had worn, They weren't the clothes he would choose for her, shouldn't he get a say? And now, her defiant words hit a nerve he did not like "so you can turn and watch women walk by with dresses like this on but your own girlfriend can't wear it?" she asked him.
"I'm taking you home to change." He said to her grabbing her by the arm.
"I will not!" Anne proclaimed pulling away. "Stop trying to control me!" she said to him.
Gilbert hadn't intentionally overheard them, he wasn't miles away but he wasn't close either. Gilbert quickly moved away not wanting to hear anything else. Personally, he thought she looked beautiful. The green was just the right colour which brought the green out in her eyes and the tints of titian in her hair literally shone, and her hair was free and waving down her back. He knew at least half the dance floor would only have eyes for her, though perhaps this was Roy's problem, he seemed to have a myriad of double standards too. The dress was a style the old Anne would have chosen. She had personalised it further with the little chain of flowers in her hairband the flowers he recognised as being his own. He wondered at her wearing his flowers, had Roy not bought her any? Gilbert watched as the debate between the two increased and only ended when Roy turned and walked out the room.
Gilbert watched as she stood alone on the other side of the dancefloor, her eyes diverted to the floor. He could see the confidence drain from her, her bottom lip quivering, he couldn't help but make his way through the crowds. "May I have the honour of this dance Miss Shirley?" he asked her as his hand went out to her. Her head shook but he persisted "Come on…" he whispered to her before the next song started. His mouth turned into a grin as the start of I want to break free by Queen, started up. "Oh now, this is destiny!" he exclaimed. "Come on, come on!" he bated her.
Anne laughed as his hips started to pop side to side to the time of the music still holding her hands he leaned in and out of the position then came to a halt when the lyrics started and he mouthed along "I want to break free…" before his hips started popping to the rhythm of the music again she watched in amazement as he 'danced' along like this until like in the video he stopped put his hands on his side and still mouthing along mouthed "You're so satisfied I don't need you" then a fake flick of the hair made Anne laugh. He held Anne out at arm length and looked at her up and down. Anne smiled and took the shrug off to dance with him to which Gilbert looked her in the eye and mouthed "Wow!". Anne, looked at him and her heart melted for him and she had to admit she was impressed as the song continued Gilbert copied the moves freakishly accurately, but it made her laugh like she hadn't… since they stopped hanging out. When the guitar riff solo started Gilbert took her hand and twirled her in front of him his hands and arms over hers they air guitar the riff together for a few bars Anne laughing in his arms. When the riff ended, he twirled her out of his arms the brought her back in holding her gently round her waist with one arm then held the other one out beside them rocking them back and forward on the spot for the rest of the singing break then as the lyrics started he leaned her back in a cross body then brought her up. Taking her again by the hand and round her waist and walked them the length of the room, before shaking his head side to side making her laugh again as they swapped hands and moved back across the room. They laughed as they swayed on the dancefloor for the rest of the song. He held her close and whispered to her as he did in the old times to which she replied, for a little while they were just them again.
Then a slow song started, the kind which lovers danced together.
"I can let go if you want?" he asked her.
"Can we stay like this a little longer Gil." She whispered.
He nodded and swallowed before he spoke "when I went to New York, I did something so stupid Anne. I was running away from feelings which needed addressing and I pushed you away" he took a pause and looked into her eyes "It been hell, Anne and I put myself through it. I put myself through by not being there. I might as well make a full confession of it..." he told her gently. "...I've been so very sorry." He said the words she had said to him long ago reflected back at her.
She smiled at him softly at him then immediately wrapped her arms around his shoulders "I've missed you Gil."
He sighed and wrapped his arms round her tiny waist a sigh of relief left him as he admitted "I've missed you too Anne." He let her cuddle in and said to her "I know things can't be the same between us as they were but..."
"but we're kindred." She whispered.
"that night a few weeks ago made me realise I should have stayed in your life and you in mine." He said to her.
"Because we're kindred." She confirmed.
"because we're kindred." He said to her.
Anne's hand came up to his chest the other remained grasped in his elbow bent up. His arm around her holding her at the bottom of her back and the other holding her hand.
She realises as she stayed in his arms the attack which was simulating every single of her senses.
His gentle but strong and reassuring touch.
The sound of his heart beating in his chest.
The way he looked at her, after all this time, after all she knew it never changed.
The morning she had woken in his arms it had been the first smell she had that day and she had longed for it ever since, the smell of cider wood and apples.
The taste buds in her mouth activated craving the taste they had once shared.
She knew she should pull back, for Roy's sake but she relaxed into his arms only their legs moving, she knew she was in the safest place in the world.
He took a breath as the song came an end he pulled back and looked into those grey orbs he swallowed before he spoke "I never could stand to see you sad." He pulled back and looked at the small pink love heart pendent around her neck laying in the hallow of her perfect frame. He smiled at it as her hand held over it for a moment. He took her other hand and brought the back of her hand to his lips and his kissed her hand gently. "Always a pleasure Miss Shirley." He whispered to her before he turned and walked out of the hall. Anne stood dumbly for a moment trying to gather what was left of her thoughts. She turned to the door which Gilbert had just left out of to see Roy coming in the door. Anne blushed at his gaze uncomfortably. She went to the chair her shrug has been carelessly tossed to and put it back on before she went to Roy.
"I over reacted." He said gently to her. "You look lovely."
Anne took a deep breath her memory bringing back a sweet mouthed 'Wow!' of Gilbert Blythe and she smiled as she should at Roy. "If it means that much to you, let's just go." She said her heart galloped in the best of ways.
He smiled in way of thank you, then took her by the hand. "Come with me."
Anne had no idea where they were going until they got there. She looked confused for a moment before she looked at him. "This is…" she started.
"Where we first met, yes, sweetheart." He told her in no uncertain terms. "and I wanted to bring you back here." He took a breath "I believe destiny brought us here." He told her "I want you to know how happy you make me." Anne looked to him in amazement. "The world is so uncertain…" he trailed as Anne started to realise what it was he was doing.
"Roy wait…" she protested.
"No, I can't." he told her taking her by her hands "Anne, marry me?" he asked her pulling a huge diamond ring from his pocket holding it in front of her.
"You can't want to marry me Roy." She said to him.
"I do." He argued back.
"Roy, we are constantly at each other's throats." She started.
"Because we're so passionate."
"We're on again off again, it's hardly the bases of a stable relationship."
"We keep coming back to each other, that is stable. This will fix that!"
"A marriage isn't a fix to a problem in a relationship." Anne told him.
"why don't you want to marry me?!" he demanded.
"Because!" she finally burst "I don't love you!"
She blinked in shock at herself. It was one thing to not say 'I love you' but it was another to admit to not loving him.
"What?!" he asked shocked.
"I'm sorry." She said to him. "But, that's what's stopping us from moving forward, isn't it?" she asked him. "I can't get intimate with you because love has to come first, real love really real love."
"I do love you." He whispered.
"No." she whispered back to him. "You love who you think you know and Roy I mean this in all the right ways but you don't know me well enough to love me, not the me who you'd be marrying." She stepped back and looked at him.
"So that it?" he asked her. "This is the end?"
"Yeah." Anne breathed." "it is." She said feeling a burden being lifted. She looked to him "We can't stay in a relationship which is lacking trust and commitment." She whispered to him.
"This is my commitment!" he emphasised.
"I know it is Roy." She said softly "Please understand, this is not all on you."
He looked at her and whispered "please Anne, you must!"
Gilbert entered the cloakroom and saw Philippa there getting her coat.
"Phil." He said with a smile. "How are you tonight?" he said to her.
"Oh very well Gil, we've missed you at Patty's place." She said to him. "You know I'm engaged to a minister called Jonas now?"
"Well congratulations!" Gilbert exclaimed. "I didn't know, I'm quite ashamed to say I didn't keep up with you after…" he trailed "I hope I'm forgiven?" he asked her.
"Oh of course you are, life is too short." She said with a smile to him.
"Thank you." Gilbert smiled. "Jonas is a lucky man."
"That's where your wrong mate, tonight is the night for most couples don't you know?" two men interrupted in the middle of their own conversation as they entered the cloak room ignoring the two other occupants.
"Why would you tie yourself down on graduation night?" The other asked his friend.
"Tina and Josh, Max and Emma, Roy and Anne." With the last names mentioned Gilbert looked up in shock. Phil thought Gilbert had stopped breathing he stood so still. "Oh, here they are." The one said to the other. He pulled at the jackets and the two other men walked out the room.
Phil looked at Gilbert and tapped him on the shoulder. "Gil?" he asked and Gilbert snapped out of the trance. "I'm so sorry." Phil said to him. "I thought you knew." she said to Gilbert to which he received a silent reply and a face which was ever draining of the colour which was in it. "You're still in love with her." She looked at Gilbert as she recognised the dreadful look in his eyes "My god, you're still in love. But what about..." she started before he interrupted
Gilbert took a breath then shook his head "I just need to shake off the old cobwebs." He said then looking at Phil his head held high "You know I fancy some rock climbing this weekend." He said stiffly. "I'll sweat it off, shake her off, once and for all."
She looked to him and sighed her hand went to his face gently holding him she kissed him fondly "I wish I could make that burden easier Roy, I really do." She told him. "but I really really can't." She told him with a heavy sigh. "But can't you see by not choosing someone from your world your deliberately not choosing someone who would know what expected..."
"I can't marry someone... " he trailed then looked at her softly "...I don't love." He stood and looked at Anne again "which would be precisely what I'm asking of you."
She looked to him and said "you still have time Roy."
"Is there someone else?" He asked her directly.
"The last time we broke up I bumped into him, and there are things you don't know and he does..." She looked to him nervously.
He looked to her sadly and said "I can't deny there are things about you Anne, I don't understand." He told her taking her by the hand "Do you want to be with this man?" he asked her directly.
She was shocked by the question but answered it all the same "Yes." She whispered. "but I waited too long, he's with someone else now." She said.
Roy wrapped his arm around her "He's an idiot then." He told her straight. "We could um, stay together if you like, make him wild with jealousy?" he asked her.
Anne chuckled then looked to the serious face in front of her. "Gosh, I keep forgetting you don't kid round." She said to him. "No, its better to live true to yourself then live a lie, and I think that's what I've been doing. I can't be truthful to you if I'm not to myself, yet another reason why we..."
He swallowed and said "Maybe if I'd been faithful you might have been able to tell me the truth." He said. "I am sorry Anne, but I wish you well."
"You too." She said smiling at him gently "and tell me when you find true love." She stood up and left the gazebo and as she walked away she was sure she knew herself all over again.
It was later that night he got a whatsapp message from her.
Anne: Gil, can we meet up?
He stared blankly at the five words she'd written feeling completely numb he didn't know how long he sat there looking at the words, it could have been five minutes or five hours. He eventually looked away from it and sighed, closing it without writing back. He had to start shutting her out of his life.
Forever this time.