Hi all,

Once again thank you all for your reviews they really are a highlight to me and I love reading them all, even if I don't reply which I don't always get the chance to do!

So here we are, there's been a slow build up to this so I hope its satisfactory for you all. A shout out to my girl CatieGirl, seriously without your support on this I might have gone crazy, I know you're often in the same position, I hope in our enthusiasm to reply to each other I don't over or under react, I know you're there to support me as I am for you!

Love to you all

Carrots x

Gilbert smiled and turned up his stereo to Bon Jovi. He smiled his head nodding at the guitar rift at the beginning of the song. The words striking him "Oh we're half way there!" Half way home!

He smiled at the parallel's in his own life, half way indeed! He had felt half way since he was thirteen. He'd no sooner get used to life then he'd throw something new into the mix.

His Dad's throat cancer had been relatively short lived, but it had spread to the chest, which is where the lengthily processes had started. He already felt so far away from his peers, he had withdrawn from a lot of socialising outside of school, only attending when his parents insisted on church picnics or outings which always had adults there so he wasn't pressurised into doing anything anyway.

But this time it was different, Charlie, Fred, Moody a few other boys had arranged a group date with some of the girls. Gilbert had been used to equal out the numbers as there had been more girls to boys.

And he still hadn't told any of his friends about his dad.

"So Gilbert," Ruby had asked him seeing he was standing quietly on his own she had approached him to not leave him feeling left out "are you looking forward to the movie?" she asked him.

"Oh," he said confused, "um well not so much, but its okay, its nice to be out with everyone anyway." He said.

"I don't suppose chick flicks are really your thing, but then I don't know what is?" she questioned him sweetly.

Gilbert looked at her giving a half smile, he knew she was being nice, the others had soon grouped off together, no one but Ruby had seemed to have noticed him. "Well, The Guardians of the Galaxy, X-men, The Imitation Game looks interesting, though that's not out until August so..." he trailed and looked at Ruby who was looking at him in disbelief. "Or you know, whatever it is we're going to see."

She looked at him a little harder trying to work him out "I like your dress." Gilbert tried changing the subject "the green is very pretty."

"Thanks." She smiled "the women in the shop said that it would look better on a redhead, but I think I pull it off too."

Gilbert smiled and nodded his head thoughtfully "I never thought different colours could match or mismatch depending on a persons colouring."

"Oh yes!" Ruby exclaimed before she took him by the arm and explained the inner workings of if a person was a spring summer autumn or winter.

Gilbert had run in the house that night, running straight past his parents in the living room up to his room, he heard a knocking on his door before his mother had entered.

"Gilbert?" she asked shocked of the sobbing boy in front of her "Gilbert what happened?"

"Nothing." He said shrugging the hand off his shoulder," leave me alone." He said.

As confused as she was she did leave, no sooner had she came downstairs that there was a knock on the door. Gilbert had heard it so had came out of his room, he could hear the conversation down the stairs.

"Ruby?" Mrs Blythe smiled at the girl. "Aren't you turning into a beautiful young lady." She smiled.

"Thank you Mrs Blythe." She said standing a little straighter and smiling before she said "I just wanted to check if Gilbert was okay?" she asked his mother.

"Well, honestly I don't know." Mrs Blythe replied to the girl "did something happen this evening?"

"No, nothing!" Ruby exclaimed confused, "we went to the movies, all the boys bought all the girls popcorn and drinks, but then Gilbert watched the film and he seemed quiet, then he wouldn't talk on the way home and he came in really sharpish, I was going to ask him if he was okay because we were talking before the movie." She tried explaining and she stopped thoughtfully "Mrs Blythe is he okay in general? Is something going on?"

"Before I answer, can I ask what was the movie?" Mrs Blythe asked her.

"It was called 'A Fault in our Stars.'" Ruby said.

"And what was it about?" Mr Blythe asked.

"It was about two kids who had cancer..." she started to which Mrs Blythe gasped. "...I mean all the girls were crying but Gilbert seemed on the brink himself."

Mrs Blythe thought carefully before she asked "Ruby is anyone waiting to take you home?" she asked the girl.

"No Mrs Blythe, I figured I could walk home from here."

"I'll take you home." Mrs Blythe explained to her "but I need to tell you something first."

That night his mother had explained everything to Ruby, in a way Gilbert was glad it was her to know first, she was certainly the most tactful and sweet of the popular group and by Monday Gilbert had known all his friends knew.

Gilbert was different. Gilbert was different because his dad had cancer. Gilbert, although by far was the most handsome boy in school would be in and out of school for four years, Although everyone cared about him and he knew they really did he wasn't interested in flirting or in the politics of being young. Everyone knew he didn't date (though for some it seemed like a challenge), he had been turning into a man but never had developed crushes or even looked at girls, his attendance at school was sporadic because of just how ill his father was. He looked and wondered at his friends at the time and he had longed for a couple of things in his life.

Someone he could really talk to.

Someone he could fall in love with.

Someone who could make him smile again.

He knew he was half a person, half a man with half a life, what he would do after high school was ridiculous. He'd be lucky to make it to university. But at each step it had seemed more and more possible to live out his dreams.

Upon return into high school for his junior year, life had handed him something unexpected, someone unexpected, and with her with her, he had achieved so so much.

He graduated co-valedictorian in High School. He was lucky enough for a football scholarship making university possible.

He had worked hard, became part of a fraternity and distinguished himself at the university and in the fraternity, he had been an exchange student, travelled and lived in New York for two years! His hard work paid off and the scholarship and living arrangements with the fraternity made it possible to go to medical school straight from college!

He was now in medical school, it was hard and another step towards his dreams but he was doing it!

Yet, in his heart he wondered, had Anne not come to Avonlea, would he be there? Would he have found the confidence to even apply to university?

It would have all been a very lonely journey if he had managed it, the two years they were apart was proof of that, it had nearly killed him being away from her, not getting his dosage of Anne, then when he had during those nearly two years it had been a bitter pill to swallow, he had sensed there was something wrong, he wished he could have helped or talked to her but he'd lost her.

He swallowed at the memory of loosing her of that feeling of aloneness, before he flipped down his sun shade and looked for a moment at the picture there in. The picture was one of them in high school, his arm around her posing at the prom. He smiled before returning his attention to the road.

Truth was, right now, now was his half way mark really. He'd done four years of undergraduate training and just completed his first year of medical school, that's five years. He had another three years as a medical school plus another 2 years for his family practice and residency.

This was his half way mark with Anne. They were a couple, they were happy, but they weren't physically active yet. No, not everything depended on it, he wasn't stupid enough to think that and they were a pompous couple, they were together they were happy, he could see himself sometime in the future marrying Anne, having children with Anne. He shook off the last thought quickly. He loved Anne, with all of him and he had to be sure, she knew she was loved, she knew she was respected, she knew she was safe. He smiled at the thought of her again.

He sighed heavily, and thought of the time they would be apart over the summer, he was shadowing in the hospital again, for all he wanted that dream of being a doctor, living the dream of being with Anne, wasn't half a temptation away from it.

Two and a half hours and he'd be home in her arms.

Anne stepped outside of work. Gilbert had been home from medical school for a month and they had a good time together. They had watched movies they had philosophised about life and current events, they had gone on hikes, they were even getting ready for camping up Hester's Hill. She had nothing to complain about.

Yet, realistically speaking, she couldn't help but think of the night at Easter. The one where they were so close to making love. She wished they could be like that again, did she have to get him drunk to have sex with him? Apparently that didn't even work with him. They had stayed over at each others houses, but between him working at the hospital, her working the day at the bookstore, he didn't seem inclined. She was getting very mixed messages and it was confusing her what could be wrong.

She sighed heavily as she heard her name being called behind her. She turned to see Diana coming towards her with her now three year old girl "Anne Cordelia" coming too.

"Aunty Anne!" Anne C ran to her aunt.

"Hello beautiful girl!" she smiled picking the girl up for a hug.

"Park Park?" Anne Cordy asked Anne.

"Oh Anne Cordy , Aunty Anne has been working all day!" Diana exclaimed.

"Its okay Diana." Anne smiled "I could use some time with my bosom friends." Anne replied with a smile.

"Yeay!" Anne Cordy exclaimed running ahead of them.

"No Gilbert today then?" Diana asked as they walked.

"No," Anne replied honestly "he's up at the hospital until midnight."

Diana couldn't help but notice as they walked Anne remained silent, it wasn't until they sat on the park bench and watched Anne Cordy playing that Diana broke the silence "Are you okay Anne? You're awfully quiet." Diana remarked.

"Me?" Anne asked. "I'm fine." She sighed. "Just..." she watched Anne Cordy for a moment before she said quietly "Diana, feel free not to tell me but, how long was it before Fred and you were intimate?" she asked.

"Oh well, I suppose..." she thought for a moment "it depends on how you see when we got together formally." She managed thinking back. "He asked me to go steady the March after the dance we'd only been casual before then, but we first got intimate when you and Gilbert went to that politics thing over the summer, well the June I suppose."

Anne let out a puff of air. "Oh." She said swallowing "About three months." She muttered.

"I suppose so." Diana replied.

"Roy was right then." She said getting up and pacing.

"Roy?" Diana questioned. "Anne what's going on?

Anne sighed again heavily before she said quietly "Gilbert and I haven't..." she blushed slightly before she looked away.

Diana's eyes went wide "No!" she gasped. "You and Gilbert! You've not..." she said quite loudly before she noticed and almost whispered "had sex yet?" she asked.

Anne shook her head, "and I wondering if there's something wrong with me, or... or with him, maybe he's said something to Fred?" Anne asked.

"No nothing," Diana said processing "I'm really surprised, I would have thought you two would get intimate really fast."

Anne sighed and sat down "I know." She admitted. "I mean we were really close before anyway, I mean before before, like the first two years of college we were close. That kind of close." She admitted. "And now, I mean its amazing to be with him and we are close and we do sleep in the same bed when we can, we do stuff, you know and the stuff is gooood we just haven't actually..." Anne sighed heavily "what if he doesn't want me?" Anne asked her friend quietly.

"No," Diana said immediately "that's not it." She insisted. "He loves you he wants this, I mean you want it right?"

"Yes." Anne replied. "Of course I do!"

"Does he know that?" Diana asked.

"Yes!" Anne exclaimed "I tell him to keep on going, he pulls away not me!"

Diana sighed and went quiet for a moment "its not the only important thing in a relationship." Diana finally remarked.

"I know, and its not." Anne replied. "Its just, it would be nice if it wasn't the only thing not in the relationship." She said playing with the pearl bracelet on her arm.

A week later, they had been making out for at least and hour. His bed was crumpled beneath them Gilbert's shirt was unbuttoned Anne's hands underneath it her hands smoothing over his stomach and back, his hands likewise under her t shirt, their bare torsos touching every once in a while heating the encounter.

Anne's fingers tracked the hem of his jeans, without him noticing, she took a gasp and reached for the zip.

He took her hands in his and moved them away from his jeans, when he let go she went back to it where he did the same thing again.

Anne pulled back in frustration "What is the matter with you?!" She finally snapped.

He looked to her his eyes wide at her reaction.

"You know what, fine!" she reacted before he said anything getting up off the bed. "If you don't want me, that's fine, because you know who wants damaged goods right? Isn't that what they teach you in jocks school, god, I should have known you were just like everyone else." She finished muttering.

"I don't understand..." Gilbert started.

"Good, because neither do I!" she exclaimed.

"Anne..." he started.

"You don't want to have sex with me and that's just..."

"Of course I want to..." he started quite loudly but then quieten for his next sentence even though there was no one else in the house "have sex with you."

"Then what's wrong?!" she exclaimed starting to cry "why don't you want me?"

He took a deep breath and sat up. "Want you?" he questioned. "Want you? I love you, I love you more then anything!" he said. "But you can't be ready for that yet Anne." He said to her.

"Not ready?" she questioned. "Not ready..." she exclaimed, she walked over to her purse and pulled out some pills.

He looked at them shocked then back at Anne "Those are birth control pills" he stated.

"I know what they are Gilbert!" she exclaimed ramming them back in her purse as she slipped her shoes on her feet.

"How... what... when?!" he stammered.

"I went on them just after new year." She explained her voice still quivering as she was still crying "I went on them because at Christmas whenever we made out, I wanted to go further, I wanted you to keep going and going and going, and I realised I was ready! You, even after you had been at medical school most of the time, you turned me on and I wanted to Gilbert, I want to and I've practically been throwing myself at you ever since and you keep moving away or going for a run or studying so I think you've made clear, where you want this relationship to go, so let me save you the trouble and I'll just leave and let... lets just forget it." She said picking up her (his lettermans jacket) jacket and left.

Gilbert swallowed his mind fussy from the encounter and certainly he couldn't run after her in his present state anyway.

She thought he didn't want her.

He hung his head closing his eyes for a moment before he calmed himself down. He took a deep breath getting off the bed, he knew what he had to do.

Anne stood outside Blythe Farm the next day. She looked at the building and bit into her lip. She knew yesterday Gilbert had got the backend of her temper, its why she was willing to come today when he texted.

Gil: Come to my place after work please? I think I need to explain myself.

She felt her phone buzz again so she looked at it.

Gil: Come in, up to my bedroom.

Anne looked at the screen for a few seconds after reading it.

'He wants me in his room.' She thought sarcastically, 'well that's refreshing.'

She never the less stepped up the porch and opened the kitchen door, she looked down in amazement as she saw pink roses leading through the kitchen. She looked felt confused as she followed the trail through the kitchen into the hallway and up the stairs they led into his open door where she followed it and turned to where his bed was. She gasped at the sight in front of her.

The bed had fresh sheets on it with pink rose petals scattered across it, there was soft music playing in the background and the lights were dimmed in the room. On the bed side table there was a vase of more pink roses along with a bottle of wine and two glasses. She sighed at the sight her heart melting at it.

"The night you told me everything about what happened to you." She heard from behind her. She turned to see him standing there, dressed up in dress trousers, a shirt underneath a waist coat and a cravat at his neck, the sleeves were turned up in his shirt a little and he only had black socks on his feet. She looked at him a little shocked before he continued. "That night you asked me if we had got together 'all that time ago' would we of had sex by then," he recalled. "I told you not necessarily and you told me everything and it was then, in that moment I swore whatever happened, no matter what I would protect you, I would save you from that pain." He told her. She watched him carefully as he crossed the room and took her by the hand "that included protecting you from me, from my passions." He admitted quietly. His eyes looked up to meet hers "see when you asked me if we would have had sex by then, I've been using it as a guide to tell me when you might be approaching ready, because had we got together the first time, we would have been together for almost a year and a half at that point." He told her nervously.

She took a deep sigh of relief her knees wobbling she sat on the end of the bed realising what had happened "Oh Gil," she whispered "you were trying to control yourself."

He knelled in front of her taking her by her hands "It has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do." He whispered.

"You didn't have to though." She said with a smile playing on her lips.

"Okay fine, the hardest thing I've ever had to convince myself to do. I want you to know, I love you." He told her. "I love you more then the idea of sex." He said to her.

Anne grinned "The idea of?" she teased, "Not sex itself?"

"Well how would I know?!" he teased back with a grin which made her laugh. "I'll let you know once we've figured it out." He smiled "You really pushed my boundaries Anne Shirley, do you know that?" he said with a half smile kissing into her hands.

"You managed to resist me." She told him.

"No love." He whispered, "Do I really have to spell it out for you exactly why I needed leave the room quite so sharply on occasion?"

She looked up to his eyebrows raising. "Oh!" she exclaimed "You mean..." He chuckled nodding his head as she turned a sweet colour of pink. "Oh!" she exclaimed again.

He leaned forward into her hugging her tightly for a few minutes they stayed that way before he whispered "I could never loose you now, don't you see?" he asked her. "If I loose you, I loose everything, if I pushed I knew I would lose you." He whispered still. "I wanted it to be special. I've been worried you see, unnecessarily apparently, but I was worried about your past and not because I thought you were 'damaged' in that way, but because I never wanted to remind you of him." He looked up at her seriously "You've been on birth control since the new year?" he asked, to which he nodded with a small "So um, that appointment you had, wasn't for the dentist?"

She smiled and shook her head "it was for the doctor to get the pill." She said.

"Wow." He said with a smile and a blush "why didn't you just tell me?" he asked.

"It was womanly things..." she blushed

He let out a puff of amusement before he said to her "Anne, I want you to be able to talk to me about everything, all of it, its a normal and natural process and I don't want you going through it all alone, I want to be here and know, and did you ever think if I had known you were on birth control I might have picked up on the hints a bit better." He whispered to her.

"Just like you talked to me about our sexual relationship?" she counted.

He looked at her bemused "Touché."

"Why, why did you not ask me if I was ready?"

"I thought we had the conversation already, you asked if we had got together 'all that time ago...'."

"That wasn't a conversations it was a hypothetical situation, and one where I needed your, not Roy's but your reassurances." She said calmly. "it was different with you because we are in love, I didn't want sex with Roy because I knew deep down inside I didn't love him, maybe had we got together all that time ago, maybe things would have been different but I'm incredibly ready for this Gil." He silently leaned in and kissed her gently round the neck, she sighed happily enjoying the kiss and she assured him, "You could never remind me of him, Gil." She whispered "You are so full of love, he, he wasn't." She gasped "Oh Gil, all those horrible things I said to you, I'm so sorry, they have no place in reality."

"Why do you think I never wanted to remind you of him?" Gilbert asked her looking up at her. "I wanted it to be your choice, I never wanted you to feel forced." He said to her "it appears as though I was a bit too vigilant in my efforts." He told her "and made you feel as though you were being forced into not." Anne looked into his eyes as he moved her knees and knelled between them. He reached up and kissed her gently. "I'm sorry." He told her.

She smiled her eyes filling with tears this time out of happiness. "You don't need to be." She told him. "I'm sorry," she said shaking her head in shame "And I love you so much!." She told him throwing her arms around him.

"Anne." He whispered after a few moments of the hug pulling her back and looking at her. "I want you." He told her "I want to make love to you." He continued before he kissed her lightly then said "Do you want to make love with me?"

She smiled, didn't say a word but simply nodded.

They stepped into the shower together neither one of them had bothered putting clothes on. The shower was hot and they smiled as the stood under it together. They hadn't spoken since, he only led her to the bathroom and turned on the shower.

They wrapped their arms around each other enjoying the closeness still. Anne hugged into his chest and said quietly "I'm too afraid to speak or move for fear all this wonderful beauty will just vanish like a broken silence."

He smiled and kissed into her neck "You don't need to." He whispered "we don't need words anymore to speak." He said to her.

She leaned back and looked up at him smiling "It does feel like that, doesn't it?" she said with a smile to which he nodded back.

"You are gorgeous!" he exclaimed feeling down her shoulders across her chest and torso. He kissed her again. "Anne," he whispered reverently.

She smiled feeling her fingers buzzing again. "We know now." She said looking up at him, "I'm glad it was you." She whispered to him. He looked down to her gently. "aren't you glad?" she asked him.

"I'm glad for you." He told her taking her by the hands and kissing into them again. "I told you it didn't matter to me if you..." he trailed.

"...but aren't you glad, just a little bit?" She looked up at him innocently, "That you..." he reached down and kissed her deeply she wrapped herself around him he held her tighter. "You are glad?"

He smiled and nodded "I'm glad, and I'm um, glad you're glad." He told her with a blush he reached down and kissed her again. He looked at her again into her eyes "I've never felt this close to anyone before." He said to her "well even before we... even more now we've..." he trailed with a pink blush to his cheeks.

"I know." She agreed, she smiled looking up into his eyes. "I should have known, when I found you I would find me there." She whispered in his ear. The whisper caught his breath, He closed his eyes enjoying the feeling more. "And this, this, extending the intimacy." She said with a smile.

"We can stay, intimate for a while." He said to Anne "my parents are gone all weekend." He said with a smile.

"Oh all weekend?" she flirted.

He shrugged and smiled at her flirting. "If you'd like?" he asked her.

She smiled as he kissed into her shoulder "I'd like. Except Sunday." She said seriously.

He looked at her confused for a moment before he asked "Are you suddenly so deeply religious that you can't miss church on Sunday for a weekend of sin?" he teased her.

She laughed and playfully slapped him. "No!" she said rolling her eyes. "The picnic silly!" she exclaimed "we said we'd be there."

"Righhhtt." He agreed nodding his head. "Well," he said with a shrug, "that still gives us plenty of time." He said grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"It does." She smiled back where he lifted her slightly against the wall of the shower bringing her closer to him. She looked into his eyes, both with a glint of mischief in their eyes they kissed excitingly entwining themselves in each other.