Gilbert was tired after his time at school, it was only six o'clock the scheduling was hard and tiring, the back of his head rested on the wall behind him he closed his eyes tired, 'thank god its the weekend' He thought to himself, yet he knew all that lay ahead was more studying. The lift doors opened and the sight in front of him soon woke him.

Anne stood with her phone in hand clutching her stomach. He sharpish went to her side concerned immediately for her "Anne?" he asked.

"She's been active all day but, now I'm bleeding, then ten minutes ago..." she trailed in the pain coming from her still small stomach. "I was going to call you just now but..."

"Its okay." Gilbert said softly "Come on lets call the hospital ahead and lets get there now."

"Gil." She cried clutching his shirt "I'm going to loose her, aren't I?" she asked him.

He tried to stay calm for her sake he looked into her eyes as he reached for his phone, "Nothing is for certain yet," he told her softly. "if we're at the hospital you'll get the best kind of care."

"Gil.." she said still clutching him "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" she cried.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." He told her. Before they headed back to the lift. "Hello." He said into the phone as he answered "I'm bringing in my girlfriend she's 21 weeks pregnant and is experiencing bleeding and stomach cramps." He said quietly.

"Gilbert is that you?" the voice said on the other side of the phone.

"Yes Doctor Brown." He said.

"We'll be ready." The voice said.

"I can't believe it!" Mrs Lynde exclaimed as Marilla ran up the stairs to pack a bag. "It seems only yesterday she was telling us they were expecting, and a late miscarriage at that."

"Gilbert said they got to hold her, she was alive at birth but far too small for the doctors to do anything even though they did try to intervene, far too small to even get a funeral, they got half an hour before the little lady passed away." Mrs Blythe said quietly her face grey. "But born a perfect little baby." She said quietly. "Gilbert said they took some pictures."

"How is he?" Mrs Lynde asked her.

"Trying to stay strong but I barely recognised his voice. He's had a hard time, after Joy passed away Anne tried to get up and that's when she haemorrhaged, he insisted on staying with Anne, he wouldn't leave her side, the doctors thank god knew him and let him stay."

"He must have been terrified, imagine the thought of losing your child and girlfriend all in one day!" Mrs Lynde exclaimed.

"It's killing him, seeing Anne like this, they aren't even home yet but I think they need all the love they can get around them right now."

"Good." Davy exclaimed coming in the kitchen where they had been talking "then you won't mind me coming."

"David Keith!" Mrs Lynde exclaimed "You can't be serious!"

"I am." He replied "dead serious." He told the older women.

"Davy..." Mrs Blythe started.

"But Anne is like a sister to me, Imagine if this had been Thea! None of you would batter an eyelid at me wanting to go!"

"There's only their spare room the stay in Davy." Mrs Blythe said sympathetically. "They have a pull out bed for one of us." She told him "I promise, I'll skype you and let you know they're okay?" Mrs Blythe compromised.

"But..." Davy started.

"And you have school." Mrs Lynde said sternly "Gilbert would not want you missing school." With this Davy sat on the chair with a huff as Marilla entered the room.

"We should go." She said to Mrs Blythe.

"Poor, poor lamb! Her heart is broken," said Cornelia observed as Anne visited the bathroom, Gilbert sat quietly in the corner not muttering a word.

"I ENVY Anne," said Leslie suddenly and fiercely,

Mrs Blythe looked shocked at the girl "Her child died and she almost did, how is that an envious position?" she asked

"I'd envy her even if she had died! She was a mother for one beautiful day. I'd gladly give my life for THAT!" Leslie said standing up starting to walk towards the balcony.

"I wouldn't talk like that, Leslie, dearie," said Cornelia deprecatingly. She stuck between being afraid that the Mrs Blythe and Marilla would think Leslie quite terrible and trying not to sound too harsh to Leslie, who had seemly ignored her and headed out to the balcony. Owen looked at Cornelia then out to Leslie excusing himself politely promising to talk some sense into Leslie.

Cornelia looked as Anne came back out of the bathroom and sat beside Gilbert for a moment before she cuddled into him again, her face blank her eyes grey and tired.

"God knows what's best." Marilla said trying to help them.

"No!" Anne suddenly objected from the corner "I can't believe that!"

"Anne now hold on..." Marilla told her.

"It doesn't seem FAIR," said Anne rebelliously. "Babies are born and live where they are not wanted—where they will be neglected—where they will have no chance. I would have loved my baby so—and cared for it so tenderly—and tried to give her every chance for good. And yet I wasn't allowed to keep her." She said before she buried her head into Gilbert's chest "its not fair."

Marilla looked to Gilbert knowing if anyone could find her faith it was him, where he shook his head.

"I can't believe that a God who loved me, would take my baby from me, and I can't believe in a God who doesn't love me." She said.

Marilla looked sadly at her and said to her softly "Anne, I know that's how you're feeling right now but give it time, you'll see that out of trials come blessings."

"I don't want to give it time, I don't want to get better, I just want to be miserable." She said crying into Gilbert again.

"Come on Anne." Gilbert said to her softly "its getting late again, your body is still repairing itself, lets get you to bed."

She didn't object or fight him, but let him take her into the bedroom quietly letting her slip out of the crowd, Leslie and Owen came back in from the balcony.

"I'm going to see Leslie down the elevator, I don't think there's much we can do to help." Owen said to the remaining people.

"Thank you Mr Ford." Marilla said to him standing to see them out the door.

"No, please," he said to her softly "Owen please call me Owen, and you don't need to see us out. Anne and Gilbert have my number, please if I can help any further..." he said with a kind smile.

"We'll let you know." Mrs Blythe said kindly to the man "thank you."

Cornelia let out a sigh before she said to them "I've never seen Anne nor Gilbert like this." Then added thoughtfully "but then I suppose I've not known them all that long."

Mrs Blythe smiled at the girl "They both like you a great deal Cornelia, they've both talked about you."

"Oh?" Cornelia asked surprised.

"You're surprised?" Marilla asked her.

"Well, yes and no, I can be a little hard on the doctor, as he is a man, I'm surprised by that."

"Gilbert likes the challenge." Marilla said with a glance to Mrs Blythe who smiled back.

"Its a Blythe trait." Mrs Blythe added dryly before both Marilla and Mrs Blythe gave a chuckle.

"Anne said that, well they both did I suppose, that Gilbert likes to be challenged, I suppose that only gives me permission to still be hard on him." She said. "Not yet though." She added.

"You're a nanny?" Marilla asked her.

"Yes, that's right." She said with a nod. "Anne tells me you adopted her and two other children who are not your own, she talks very highly of you Marilla and you too Mrs Blythe, when she's not..."

"Don't fret too much Cornelia." Mrs Blythe said to her. "Everything will relate to their circumstances for a little while, the wounds of time heal slowly at first."

"In the meantime, might I suggest that someone stays with them, not all the time just enough of the time, when they are home alone together they have each other they have each other for that just, in the meantime."

"I agree." Mrs Blythe agreed.

"So say I." Cornelia agreed.

"Marilla?" Mrs Blythe asked her.

"Of course." She said quietly. "Its not Anne to dismiss, even God right now."

"I remember Gilbert having dismissed God when his father was ill too." Mrs Blythe comforted her. "Its what they need to feel at this moment Marilla." Mrs Blythe assured her.

"I find it amazing in this day and age they have a belief in God," Cornelia commented "of course each to their own, you must have taken them every Sunday." She said with a smile to the older ladies.

Gilbert then came out of the bedroom and wordlessly pulled his computer screen to him reading whatever was on it.

"What's that Gilbert?" His mother asked.

"My notes for a test I have in the morning." He said quietly.

"You're not thinking about going in are you?" Cornelia asked.

"I have to." He said quietly, again not looking up Cornelia looked to Mrs Blythe a look of concern on her face. Mrs Blythe shrugged and looked sadly at her son.

Two weeks later Anne sat anxiously in her first class after Joy. She felt empty, not quite with it yet, though Gilbert had said it might make her feel better going to class getting out of the apartment and being with a friend, who was currently sat beside her in the class in the form of Owen. Over the past couple of weeks Anne had spent very little time outside the bedroom, she had lay numb in the day while Gilbert had gone to medical school, though he (and Marilla and Mrs Blythe) had thoroughly spoilt her the rest of the time. When Anne had announced she was going back to college Marilla had excused herself back tot he island, Davy had been causing trouble for Mrs Lynde and she was on 'her last tether with him', Marilla had thought it prudent to go back. Anne had thanked her for coming, for remaining the two weeks where Mrs Blythe had made Marilla promise she would make sure John was eating something other then pudding out the pantry.

Anne wasn't sure but she was sure she could feel everyone's eyes on her.

"They're all wondering how I'm still on the course, aren't they?" Anne asked Owen.

"Let them wonder." Owen said to her honestly. "And dazzle them with your brains." He told her softly.

"To them, its just another day, another day one like another." She said her grey eyes staring at a far off point.

Professor Cooper entered the room and while it was quiet enough it was heard from the corner of the room "Princess Anne has finally decided to grace us then, its a little wonder she could make it for us, two weeks gone and she's back as if nothing has happened."

Anne hair stood on edge, she could feel the water prickling at her eyes she turned to the owner of the voice a Katherine Brooke, with a sarcastic smile on her face.

"Ignore her." Owen whispered to Anne as the two turned back round.

"How many credits did you earn in favours then?" Anne heard her bark. This proved to be too much for her she jumped out of her seat leaving her belongings behind her.

Owen gathered both of their belongings quietly, Professor Cooper asking him "where do you think you're going?" he asked Owen.

He looked to the professor surprised by his reaction but all the same said "After her," He said quietly. "I don't think Gilbert would forgive me if I left her alone." Owen told the professor.

With the naming of Gilbert (one of his past favourite pupils he had taken a few English courses the first two years of his undergraduate studies no doubt to be closer to the aforementioned redhead) the professor took a deep breath letting it go he told Owen "I hold you responsible for catching her up."

"Yes, absolutely." Owen agreed and left the room.

The class was a little unsettled before Professor Cooper settled the class down and started the class correctly. It wasn't until the end of class, when people had started leaving the room he approached the dark haired women.

"Are you aware of Miss Shirley's circumstances?" he asked her.

"Circumstances?" Katherine asked a little shocked the professor would approach her in this way.

Professor Cooper scoffed for a moment before shaking his head "Course you're not." He muttered before telling her "maybe you should reserve your prejudices from now on Miss Brooke." He told her "and trust me when I say that Miss Shirley could pull every favour in the world right now and it still wouldn't qualify for your judgement." He told her, then quick as he had appeared he had left the classroom.

Katherine swallowed feeling a little guilty for a moment before she blew the feeling off, she made her way into the courtyard and through a quiet corridor she knew was used by very few people. It was there she found Anne and Owen sitting on a bench in the deserted corridor. She suddenly felt guilty again upon seeing the red eyed girl. Anne stood from the bench and glared at Katherine in front of her.

"What is your problem with me?!" She finally demanded. "You've had a bee in your bonnet about me since day one!"

"I've not." She said shortly.

"And you still deny it! Unbelievable!" Anne said the tears coming back to her eyes "What is it with you Kingsport women! I've been a lot of places and never have I came across a more judgemental group of women in my life!"

Katherine scoffed "Judgemental." She said sarcastically. "Of you?!" she demanded.

"Yes of me, why? What is so wrong with me?!" she asked.

"You're a spoilt little princess!" Katherine finally spouted. "From day one you had the favour of ever lecturer in the school..." she started.

"I did my undergraduate degree here, they all know me from then!"

"...Oh you, you and your precious little pretentious life, with the handsome boyfriend and the lovey dovey world of your precious little island!" she spat "You could know no different could you!" she finally demanded.

"You know nothing about me!" Anne told her. "I didn't have a family I didn't have a home or a boyfriend, I didn't know love for a very long..."

"Didn't know love?" Katherine quipped "You didn't have to live through a family who resented you, I was glad the day I got to go to university, I worked my way here I got here on a scholarship!"

"You think I knew anything but resentment the first sixteen years of my life! I was tossed carelessly from family to pillar to hate and envy from the other kids in the care home to the hate and envy of any other children in the home I was placed in, I wasn't wanted I wasn't cared for, but I never dreamed of throwing it back in someone elses face because they had all the things I craved."

"Poor little princess however did you survive?" she asked her dripping with sarcasm. "and what now? Now you have your precious boyfriend and perfect life, you just ooze it don't you?" Her mouth twisted cruelly "What did you loose princess? What terrible trauma came to pass to make the crown knock off your head?"

Anne didn't even take a breath her eyes welled up her chin shook before she whispered "Our baby." She said quietly before she swallowed and ran into the bathrooms just opposite where they were sitting.

Katherine looked a little shocked and thought back, Anne had been ill upon returning from the Christmas break she'd assumed she had just partied too hard. "But no, you wouldn't know, they planned on working through it." Owen said quietly. "The baby was due in September they could have the summer preparing, what little money was coming in would go on a nanny so Anne could come to lectures when the baby was born." Owen took a heavy sigh "Did you read Anne's book Miss Brooke?" he asked her to which Katherine shook her head. "Maybe if you read it, you'd understand her better." Owen suggested "and don't pass judgement on my friends ever again."

"Anne was pregnant." Katherine said quietly, still apparently in shock. "I had no idea." She said quietly before she scudded down the corridor.

Anne sat still the in the apartment the next night (she hadn't been back into university the rest of the day before or that day, she was somewhat dampened by Katherine's behaviour) watching Gilbert typing away on his laptop apparently completely immune to the pain she felt.

Though she knew this wasn't sure she was confused by Gilbert's behaviour. He carried on, he hadn't stopped. There was clearly something to worry about because Mrs Blythe still here, currently in the kitchen cooking yet another meal which would end up in the freezer. He hadn't stopped not for a single moment, they had gone into the hospital on the Friday evening she had miscarried by midnight fainted for loss of blood by two, the doctors had let her out of the hospital on Monday morning with strict instructions for her to be on bedrest for at least a week, Gilbert had brought her home where his mother (as promised) waited along with Marilla, Cornelia Leslie and Owen, he had left for medical school, went in like the weekend hadn't happened. He must be feeling something? Yet he went on.

'Did he even care?' her mind pricked her

'Wow, that was harsh.' She told herself. Of course Gilbert cared! It was Gilbert!

It was in that thought there was a knock on the door. Gilbert was the one who got up first and went to the door opening it to find a surprise visitor on the other side. Gilbert's features hardened making it clear to the women he knew of her antics the previous day but still wordlessly let her in the apartment.

Katherine looked over the room to Anne who looked not surprised nor angered by her presence, in fact her face showed little emotion if any her eyes although focused on Katherine as she came over were still in a unseen far place, her long red hair in a low pony tail looked a little rough round the edges. "hello Anne." She said softly. "I um," she faulted at Anne's lack of responses "I just, I have notes for the lectures from yesterday and today." She told her "though I'm sure they aren't as detailed as your own but I thought..." she trailed again and took out the papers from her bag and put them on the coffee table in front of her. When she stood straight again Anne still hadn't responded, her eyes still far off her face still emotionless. "On Mr Ford's recommendation I read your book, I actually purchased it at the beginning of the year, but then, you know that you're Gilbert picked it up for me in the corridor the first day, but anyway I read it." She said quietly. "I liked it." She tried again after a moment silent "You're very talented, I couldn't help but feel I knew you better." She continued to try before she swallowed and finally said quietly "I'm sorry I misjudged you. I thought I saw something you aren't."

Katherine waited for a response but when she got none she started to walk away "I only every wanted to be your friend, Katherine Brooke." Anne said softly.

"We could still be, if you wanted." Katherine replied to her.

Anne shook her head before she said quietly "I... I don't know yet." She admitted.

"Fair enough." Katherine said "I'll still bring you notes, maybe we could study together when you feel up to it?" she asked Anne but when she received no answer she nodded to Gilbert and walked out the door.

"That's not like you." He said quietly.

Anne sighed stood up and as she walked into the bathroom said "I'm not sure who I am anymore."

AN: Hi Everyone, I don't know if you all hate me right now, because I think as soon as we knew this was Joy, something was going to happen and you were all hoping that maybe I wouldn't write it as it was in the book.

This chapter (and ones around it) have been edited changed pulled and pushed at for such a long time and I had these chapters written for a long time, at least in their skeleton form. Just like the earlier chapters where I had to write about abuse and sometimes weave it into the story from very early on so that there were signs there, this is one of those chapters which changes everything.

Its hard to write and during the time I had this written up, both my sister and a friend miscarried. My sister miscarried about 12 weeks into hers and my friend gave birth to her little boy a mere week or two further along in her pregnancy then Anne was in my story.

Just a couple of things, I know the law about treatment of miscarried babies/ fetus' varies from country to country. I know from one of you guys that in Australia Joy would have got a burial whereas here in England its 24 weeks. I couldn't find the information for Canada so please note I went off England's treatment of miscarriages. I'm sorry if this is inaccurate to Canada and I don't mean to be insensitive to it.

There are a number of reasons why this late term miscarriage might have happened, and honestly I haven't written it in as to why it happened. They happen and I've seen it and the effects it had on two of the sweetest ladies in my acquaintance, along with their husbands, and honestly it almost made me go back on it all at one point, the heartache is so hard to watch in reality. Its a heartache and so hard and all I could do was say "if you need to talk I'm here, if you don't need to talk, I'm also here."

This has an impact for a few chapters yet, so please stick with me I know its hard to read.

As always I know there maybe people reading this who have been affected by this kind of situation.

I wish I could make it better for you.

Take the time you need, take the love you need and no its not okay, it won't ever be okay and I am so sorry.

Anyway love to you all

(and yes, Leslie and Katherine are painfully harsh here its something which slowly heals, there's a number of turning points in a lot of relationships coming up!)

Carrots x