please forgive me there is some language in this one. Strong emotions and alll...
"So I blind panicked!" Josh told them, with a laugh "I'm telling you its a good job they make us wear those masks in surgery otherwise everyone could see the panic on my face." He said pulling a face.
Josh, Zara, Anne and Gilbert all sat around the local fast food restaurant talking. Anne was mostly watching, trying to figure out if her initial impressions were right.
She laughed at the story Josh had just told his face shaking her head "I take it you've worked out how to cut open a person by now?" she asked him.
"Oh yeah." He told her casually. "You know its that first surgery, its like all that time in med school just completely goes out of your mind, my god, it was like being a freshman all over again."
"Being a intern rough?" she asked.
He shrugged "Not as much as the rest of your residency." He admitted. "its hard, trying to prove yourself as being a cut above the rest." He told her.
"Pun intended?" she asked.
He chuckled "Happy coincidence." He admitted.
"Sorry you were saying?" she asked him after the joke. "Is it hard?" she asked him.
"Just, there's another six guys all wanting to prove exactly the same thing." He admitted. "So you actually have to be better rather then just trying to."
"Is Paediatrics the same Gilbert?" Zara asked him.
"Not exactly, the pressure is there to get it right, I suppose its very similar..." he said. " Although come a couple of weeks I won't be a resident anymore..." Gilbert said with a grin to Josh.
"You got the neonatology fellowship?" Josh asked his mouth dropped. "Gilbert!" he exclaimed jumping up the two men embracing for a moment "that is fantastic!"
Gilbert chuckled pulling back "thanks man, its amazing I just got confirmation last week." He nodded with a huge grin on his face. "I had some fierce competition." He said as they sat back down. "Did you know I was the only man to apply?" he told Josh.
"Oh?" Zara said confused. "Why?"
"Well, the field is 95% women so its only natural." He shrugged, still confused Gilbert explained "Neonatology is a sub specialty of pediatric care. When its a general as that its 70% women, but a lot of the male doctors go into general pediatric care like GP's, specialties like this is very women weighed."
"Is it well paid?" She asked Gilbert "I heard you doctors make a fortune."
Gilbert chuckled "It pays well, 70,000 a year." He said.
"Compared to my 58,000." Josh nodded. "Not the reason to go into medicine." Josh shook his head.
Gilbert chuckled "its not a badly paid job." He said. "but certainly the incentive of money isn't enough." He said.
"No, further development however..." Josh shrugged.
Gilbert smile widened "you know what you want to specialize in?" he asked.
Josh nodded "cardiothoracic ." Josh said with a smile. "I think." He said "Well we'll see, some of us still have at least another two years as a resident to complete before they'll even consider me for a specialist." He said trying to reflect the attention away from himself.
"Josh, that's amazing!" Gilbert grinned.
"I'm just lucky he decided to go into pediatrics, most the way through uni he was going to go into surgery like me, but then started to sway in the fourth year..." Josh said with a knowing smile to Gilbert.
"I'm better suited for pediatrics." Gilbert acknowledged shaking his head "I... I don't think it would have been right going into surgery."
Josh rolled his eyes "He's being humble, I know every department in the hospital wanted the mighty 'Gilbert Blythe' to be in their department."
Gilbert sighed heavily "Talk about me being humble? You were right there with me."
"Oh, no no no, you were in a class of your own," he acknowledged, "there's this famous second year test which no one gets over 85% on, I struggled a 75, Gilbert struggled an 86!" Josh exclaimed, "the guy was a machine!" he chuckled as Gilbert turned a shade of pink his hand scratching at the back of his hair uncomfortably.
"Well I wouldn't have made it through the third year without you." He reminded softly to Josh, before he looked him in the eye.
Josh nodded and looked at the two "You know either one of you would do the same for me." He said quietly.
Gilbert smiled before he nodded "and anyway at least this way we both get to say we're the top 'surgeon' or 'pediatric doctor' they'd find."
"A-men to that!" Josh offered his soft drink as a toast to him which he took with a smile.
"What about you Anne?" Zara asked her "what do you do?"
"I'm a teacher," she started "no well, I'm a writer..." she looked around the table confused "both?" she chuckled "I work full time as a teacher in Avonlea High on Prince Edward Island." Anne nodded agreeing with herself.
"But she is the proud owner of two published books." Josh chirped in.
"Really?!" Zara asked her "You're published!"
"Yeah." Anne said with a smile. "I'm actually working on my third book, its just its taking a while with teaching being my 'job'."
"Wow that's so impressive!" Zara exclaimed. "Tell me the names!"
"Oh, um, Avonlea Vignettes, that one is published under my maiden name 'Shirley' and um, Averil's Atonement." Anne smiled.
"Awesome," she said typing it into her phone "I am so going to buy them." She looked up and down from her phone "So have you two been together long?" she asked them.
Gilbert took a breath and chuckled "I suppose we are at that stage where its been a while." He admitted. "Umm seven years." He nodded.
Zara smiled "that's amazing, and you've been married..."
"Three of those." Gilbert smiled with a grin.
"Wow!" she said quietly. "My whole relationship didn't even last that long." She said quietly.
"Oh?" Gilbert asked surprised.
Zara looked confused that he seemed not to know "Yeah, the second year of uni, I met someone we dated for a couple of month, he proposed and we got married really fast, I, um, dropped out of uni because he wanted a housewife so I started, then I dunno, he just cheated, a couple of times actually..." Gilbert looked up in shock first at Zara and then to Josh who looked just as uncomfortable and in shock as he was shuffling on his seat. "...so I filed for divorce just before our second wedding anniversary." She took a deep breath. "I went to the local community college and signed up for hairdressing, passed the course and set up my hairdressing business, kept up my skills, and learned a few more..." she trailed.
She looked up to Josh who looked at her and quietly said "I didn't know, until the other day it was over that fast."
"I tried to tell you, but you never replied to any of my letters, or e-mails, texts or phone calls after we sent the wedding invitation." She said quietly, although it was said without any anger in her voice they could hear a slight quiver in her voice.
"Round about the time we got together." Gilbert said quietly to Anne.
"You been in any relationships since?" Josh asked Zara.
Both Gilbert and Anne were now looking at the pair expectantly not that either Zara or Josh could tell you that.
"No." Zara shook her head. "I've been a bit cautious about who I let in." She shrugged "maybe been a little harsh sometimes." She admitted.
The pair sat in silence for a moment before Josh's hand slid over the top of Zara's who he was sitting next to in the booth. She looked up and looked in his eyes "I never meant to hurt you." He told her softly.
"What did you think not talking to me would do?" she asked him.
He swallowed opened his mouth wordlessly then shut it. "I thought you wouldn't want me anymore." He admitted, (an eyebrow raised by Anne to Gilbert) "and..." he stopped and shook his head.
"And?" Zara probed.
"N-Nothing." She said shaking his head. "You had a husband." He reiterated.
"You were my best friend." She told him. "I wanted you there."
"To say goodbye?" he asked her seriously.
"No!" she exclaimed. "There would never be a goodbye!" she told him.
He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I..." before he shut his mouth again. "Okay." He nodded. "I didn't know, and I am sorry." He told her genuinely.
There was silence for a few minutes before Anne nudged Gilbert and looked at him indicating he should say something.
"So, um, Zara, what was Josh like in high school?" Gilbert asked her.
Paul sat in the coffee house playing with his cappuccino. He didn't suppose he knew why he was nervous. He took a deep breath sighing into his coffee. He was so enveloped in his own thoughts that he missed the women coming in and recognizing him. She walked over and stood for a moment before she announced "Paul?"
He looked up, then at her and suddenly he wasn't nervous anymore. He felt an angry gut feeling tensing in his stomach "Angela." He said standing. "please." He offered the chair opposite him. "Do you want some coffee?" he asked her.
She smiled briefly "No, thank you." She told him before she looked up and got eye contact with him. They sat quietly for a few moments before she said quietly "You look exactly like Stephen."
He shrugged "I get that a lot." He admitted.
Where upon she smiled again "You have his mannerisms too."
Paul answered rather more tartly then he expected "Well I spent a lot of time around him, so..." he looked down into his lap not dare looking up.
"I deserved that." She admitted.
"And a bit more." Paul told her.
Her eyebrows shot up a little surprised. "I was younger then you are now when I gave birth to you."
"And even less mature when you signed a piece of paper annulling you from parental responsibility when I was days old." He snapped. She sat silently before he asked her "What do you want?" he asked her.
"I was curious." She shrugged "What you were like, if... I dunno, if you were like me in any way..." she told him. "what happened to you."
"Dad took care of me." He said shortly where she looked guilty "yeah that's right the guy you abandoned to take care of a baby you'd just given birth to, the guy who raised me, who fed me every bottle, changed every diaper, he was there..." Paul looked away frustrated "and he is the best father I could ask for."
"Stephen..." she trailed before she corrected herself "Paul, please understand I was a child myself."
"You were an adult when you chose to have sex!" he said to her in a raised voice "For god sake women! What did you think you were doing?!" he said. "I can think of several choices you could have made, like remembering to take your pill, or when you knew you weren't covered using a condom!" he exclaimed, "and then then there was always the morning after pill, but no, no you went through nine months lying to my dad about what you wanted to do..."
"I wasn't lying..." she tried to defend.
"Bullshit!" he threw back at her. "No way, you signed a paper giving up your rights to be my mother, you did this in front of dad, I mean where were you?!" he exclaimed.
She looked at him her brow furrowed for a moment "Are you more mad at me leaving you or your dad?" she asked him. "Did he tell you I was rotten?"
With this Paul rose from his seat "Dad never said a word against you, dad always told me all the nice things about you, he wanted me to believe I was good through and through, him and mom wanted me to come here to meet you they both thought you deserved a chance!"
"Mom?" she questioned.
"What you think he'd be a monk just because you never saw how awesome he was?"
She seemed to ignore it when she said "You call someone else mom?" she asked him.
"You signed away your right to care what I call anyone else!" Paul observed as he shook his head then left the coffee shop.
He was half way down the street before he heard from behind him "I just wanted to get to know you."
Paul stopped and turned, chuckled for a moment before he said "I wanted to hear that from you for the first ten years of my life." He said as she caught up.
She got to his side where she looked up at him "I gave birth to my second child five years ago." She told him "and where everyone was saying 'oh its your first you must be so excited!'" she took a heavy sigh. "Only I knew the truth."
Paul's jaw set before he said "you didn't tell your husband about me?" he asked her.
She shook her head "even my mom made pretend like she was my first, but I knew, I knew and I had no way of contacting you or finding you and I just, I wanted to tell you and share it with you." She told him.
Paul took a heavy sigh, his eyes wide "I have a half-sister?" he asked her.
Angela nodded "She's five, her name is Kelly." She said taking out a photo of her "she likes gymnastics, tutties rolls and anything that rhymes."
Paul looked at Angela with wide eyes "Rhymes?" he questioned.
Angela nodded "storybooks which rhymes, songs, and poems..." she said.
He took a deep breath "then we have something in common." He told Angela who looked at him. "I'm a poet. I um, I'm the creative director of my own poem company, I run workshops for children, the disabled, anyone really, but its kind of therapy through rhymes and rhythms."
Angela smiled "Stephen loved English." She said quietly before she asked him "but maybe you didn't get it all from him?"
He took a breath nodding "maybe."
She took a breath too and admitted "I know I can't come here and be your mother now, and clearly Stephen found someone you regard as your mother."
"You know her." Paul told her, "You went to high school with both of them, he didn't 'find' anyone."
Angela looked at him then said quietly "Lavender." She said quietly, "they finally got themselves together."
Paul took another deep breath "You split them up and you did it deliberately." He told her.
"I didn't plan on getting pregnant." She reminded him, "and Stephen wanted to be there, he wanted in." She took a deep breath "turns out at the end, he wanted you more then me anyway."
"He would have stayed with you had you wanted to stay." He said. "I know dad."
She nodded "You know him better then me." She told him "and I'm ashamed to admit it." They paused for a second "so, I can see he took good care of you." She told Paul.
"Yeah, well, he always loved me for two." He said. "He was awesome."
"and he brought you back to Avonlea?" she asked him.
"Yeah, um he's the head of English at Avonlea High."
"He's a teacher?" she questioned.
"A good one." Paul told her.
"I have no doubt." She replied.
"And you said Lavender is your mom?" she asked.
"Yeah. My mom." He said simply.
She nodded "Good, she would have made a better mom then me."
"I was eleven when they got married, that same day she gave me a present, the adoption papers all filled in and signed, all I had to do was post them." He told her. "She's a teacher too, she's actually just got promoted to head of science."
"Oh?" Angela said surprised. "She's a teacher too?"
"Yeah, Mr and Mrs Irving have been Avonlea favourites for a long time." Paul told her.
Angela looked to Paul who looked back in silence. "I just, I want you to know I'm sorry, and I, don't know how to be your mom..."
"I have one already thanks."
"...but I want to get to know you." She told him. "Maybe you could get to know your sister."
He took a deep breath and nodded. "Alright." He said quietly.
"I like your friends." Zara said to Josh as they walked along the shore together.
"Yeah, I like them." He said with a smile to her "And thanks ever so much for telling them what a renegade I was that first few months of high school."
"Oh you are welcome!" she teased him back with a chuckle before she looked up at him and a blush appeared on her face she said shyly "its so hard to believe its you." She told him.
"You doubted I would make it?" he asked her.
"No!" she told him shaking her head "No, I knew you would, just it feels like a lifetime ago, and now your here and back and next to me, its like nothing has happened too."
"I left eleven years ago, it almost is." He admitted. "I had good friend though, Anne and Gilbert, I met him my first day you know."
"Oh?" she asked him.
"Um," he nodded "he's never drank much so I was really surprised he didn't drink alcohol." He shrugged "but then, I was relieved, it meant I didn't have to explain as much why I didn't." He said.
"Does Gilbert know all of it?" she asked him.
"Some of it." He admitted "not all." He said "but they were there at graduation and at my med school matching, they've been my family." He smiled looking at where they were "do you remember we'd come down here and study?"
Zara nodded "I do remember." She told him.
He took a deep breath as they sat on the bench. They reminded quiet for a minutes before she asked
"So Gilbert said he wouldn't of got through med school without you?" she asked him.
"Oh, um, they had a late miscarriage."
"Oh!" Zara said in shock.
"Yeah, they um, had a hard time, Anne had actually moved out, Gilbert had gone from burying his head in the books to dangerous stunts to drinking to try and ignore his feelings, me and another friend, just escalated the get back together." He admitted. "They talked and figured it out."
Zara smiled "You helped saved them."
"In a way I never could my own family." He said quietly "so I doubt it was me."
"You doubt your own abilities." Zara told him, to which he shrugged, they sat in silence for a minute before Josh spoke
"I'm sorry about your divorce." He told her.
"Its okay, no ones fault but mine." She said at the same time as Josh said "his."
"His." Josh told her "I can't imagine why anyone would think about cheating."
She took a sigh "he didn't want a marriage he wanted sex." She told Josh.
He looked to her shocked before taking a huge sigh. "I-I'm sorry."
"So am I." She said quietly. "Maybe if I'd been a little less..." she started to sob when he put his arm around her.
"Hey, you aren't any less virtuous because he was an asshole."
This made Zara chuckle in her tears as she let his arms tighten around her. "You were always so kind Josh." She whispered to him. "No matter how big a mess I was."
"A mess?!" he exclaimed getting her eye contact "do you remember me at all?" he asked her seriously. "I was seriously messed up, you helped me, you were my friend, my best friend, my absolute rock...I-I wouldn't be where I am today if I didn't have you." He told her quietly before he kissed into her hair. He paused when he pulled back looking worried at her. "I-I-I'm sorry!" he burst.
"No, don't be!" she told him quickly. "Felt nice." She told him. "Like old times." She said.
He smiled "Old times." He chuckled. "So I'm here for another week." He admitted, "Would you like to... um, hang out some more?"
She chuckled and nodded leaning into his arm which went around her "Just like old times."