Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Americans! Happy December to everyone else-may your holiday preparations be relaxing :)
There was a new trial nearly every day. Work among the Aurors was nearly at a standstill, as so many of their reduced number were called to testify. Having been underground for over a year, James was never called to the stand.
He was desperate to watch the trials, but as one of the few Auror employees without open cases, he was stuck in his office with several months' backed-up paperwork.
James's hatred of paperwork was intense and permeating.
Nevertheless, he delved as deeply as he could into every open case that passed across his desk. After at least one brief (and never-to-be-acknowledged again) temper tantrum, James convinced himself that this was a better substitute for studying. He was learning a lot, to be fair, and this freed up more time in the evening to revise the things he practiced during the day.
Somehow, despite his keen interest in the trials, he managed to miss the fact that the Crouch hearing was scheduled until it was almost too late.
Albus Dumbledore waited by Courtroom ten with Alastor Moody.
He did not enjoy these hearings. Most of these accused had been his students, once upon a time, whether in his classes or in his school. He remembered the promise, the wit, the youthful antics of so many.
It wounded him to his core to witness against these former bright lights of the Wizarding World.
"Hello, Professor Dumbledore," he heard from behind him, very politely.
He turned. "Auror Potter," he greeted, equally cordially. "How may I be of service?"
James looked nervous, Dumbledore noticed. Nervous, but resolute. "I'd like to be here for the trial, if you don't mind," he said.
"That...may not be wise," Dumbledore said carefully. "Bartemius Crouch-"
"I'll hold my tongue, Professor," James said. "Use silencio, if you don't believe me. But I think I've earned the right to be here. I was friends with Alice and Frank too. I was in the Order with all of you." He looked pointedly at Alastor, then at Albus himself. "I'm not skiving off work. And," he added, sounding as though he'd hit upon an epiphany, "it'll be educational. I need to learn everything I can if I'm going to convince the courts that Sirius is innocent."
Alastor barked out a laugh. "Yeah, he's got your number, Albus."
Albus ignored the senior Auror standing next to him. "Very well," he said. "I trust you."
"Thank you," James said.
"But," Albus said, staring into James's eyes, "I reserve the right to remove you from the courtroom, magically silence you, or otherwise prevent you from interrupting the proceedings. Am I understood?"
"Of course, Professor," James replied sincerely.
Albus paid close attention to not only the trial, but also to James. For his part, James scribbled furiously on the margins of the Daily Prophet, and, true to his word, didn't say a thing until the three accused were led out of the courtroom. He looked away as Barty's son was dragged away screaming and sobbing.
"Was it as educational as you were hoping?" Albus asked politely.
"I suppose so," James said. He was pale. "Thank you, Professor Dumbledore, Auror Moody. Excuse me, I've got to get back to work." He walked away.
James threw himself into studying. Not only was he reading up on various aspects of law and court proceedings, he was also attempting to remember various aspects of Auror work, things he hadn't had to look at since just before he and Lily had gone into hiding. He had Remus quizzing him on Auror codes, procedures, and regulations every evening, and after Harry was in bed, James would sit with a stack of law textbooks, borrowed from the Muggle library, for hours.
The justice system was broken. James saw that clearly. While their courts and legal proceedings were based on Her Majesty's rule, the simple fact was that two different dictators in a single century had taken its toll on the magical government. Its muggle counterpart was not perfect, but at least it existed.
He probably would have gone on like that until Remus emerged from his room one morning only to find James on the couch, asleep, slumped over his textbook.
He prodded James twice to wake him.
James blinked several times, finally recognizing Moony. He grinned. Then he blinked again, hard. Then he groaned and planted his face back into the (horribly wrinkled) pages of the textbook.
"I did it again," he said into the book.
"Clearly," Remus said, trying very hard to keep a neutral tone of voice. "Prongs, you said you would stop."
"I can't, though, there's too much-"
"I'm not going to do this now," Remus interrupted him, "especially since you've got ten minutes to get ready for work."
Miraculously, James was ready in exactly nine minutes.
"Moony, I'm-"
"Just…" Remus shook his head. "Just go, Prongs, we'll talk about this later."
James skidded out the door. It was a light week at the office, he could get ahead on reading for the Auror examinations so he could catch up on Muggle law and translating it to Magical court systems.
The rest of the workday passed uneventfully. James was able to spend time in the firing range, practicing his spellwork - he was well above the minimum requirements for casting, but more practice never hurt - before he went home.
Remus paced.
Supper had been cooked and eaten. Leftovers had been put away. The kitchen had been tidied, and so had the sitting room. Harry was in bed, and James was nowhere to be found.
So Remus paced, and he tried not to worry. He checked the calendar by the kitchen door, but Remus knew perfectly well knew that James didn't have any appointments scheduled. The Auror office wouldn't send him in the field until he'd passed his recertification exams. And yet, James was still conspicuously absent.
Remus would give him five more minutes. Then he would wake Harry, and Apparate to the Hog's Head.
Two minutes passed. Then three. Four. Remus collected Harry's things, and a pop broke the silence. He dropped the bag and pointed his wand at the figure who had just apparated, who turned around and grinned.
"Wotcher, Moony," James said.
"Oh, hello," Remus said, trying to keep his tone in check. "Have a nice evening? Anything interesting happen?"
"Nah," James said, "I just thought I'd hit the shooting range before I went home. Must've taken longer than I meant - sorry about that." His head was buried in the cupboards. "What's this?" He'd found the leftovers.
"Pasta with peanut sauce," Remus said through gritted teeth. "You got off work three hours ago."
James shrugged, mouth full of pasta. "Well, I did some reading at the office first, but I needed to make sure my skills reflected my brains." He smirked and struck a pose. "Ten percent improvement from my first qualifiers, I'll have you know."
"You're an idiot," Remus hissed. He slashed his wand at the bag's contents, which aggressively gathered themselves into a pile and threw themselves into their respective homes. "You didn't think about Harry, then? Or me?"
James stared at Remus. "I was studying, I told you that-"
"Oh, give it a rest," Remus said. "You don't actually need to prove yourself superior to the rest of the Aurors, or anyone else, you realize that? You aren't the savior of the magical world; you aren't even close."
James glared. "What, so you want me to leave Sirius to the Dementors?"
"I want you to get your priorities straight, James," Remus spat. "I want you to be a dad. I want you to be my friend again. I want you to go to therapy and play with Harry, and pass your exams. Sirius will have to wait a bit," he said, striving for gentle, but not sure he achieved it. He took a deep breath. "Sirius is important, but other things are important too right now, Prongs. You can't sacrifice your family for one man."
"I'm not sacrificing my family, I'm getting Sirius out of prison! I'm helping people, I'm trying to right wrongs and-"
"You're sacrificing the only family you've got left, you great blithering idiot," Remus said cooly. He couldn't believe how stupid a person could be. "Harry was asking for you, did you know? He didn't feel well, and you weren't there for him."
James's posture went from angry defiance to concerned parent. "Is he okay? What happened?"
"You'd know if you'd been here, wouldn't you?"
"Moony - Remus - please-"
He relented. "He's fine, he's just got some growing pains. I gave him a little tea and he fell asleep. But the point still stands, you're neglecting your son in favor of chasing a maybe."
James bristled. "I'm not-" He stared into the distance for a long minute. Then he nodded jerkily. "I, er. I need to send an owl."
Remus cocked his head to the side. "To whom?"
"Marcus. My counselor." He winced. "I may have, er, cancelled a therapy appointment."
"For God's sake." Remus clenched his teeth so hard he felt they might crack. "You skived off on one of the court-ordered conditions for retaining custody of your son?" [EM: As messed up as the Wizarding Court systems are, I do want them to have good family court. Mostly because they can't possibly be completely incompetent in every single area, right?] He could hear the overly-formal phrases, and knew he needed to stop before he did any more damage to their friendship. "Do what you need to do. I need to take a walk." He stormed out and only at the last minute remembered to not slam the door. James would deserve it if he had to deal with an overtired toddler, but Harry did need his rest.
He stood in the night air, cool with the proximity to the sea, and fumed, and paced. He decided to walk down towards the shore, and when he had calmed down sufficiently, he decided to take a long, meandering path home. He wanted to test something.
James was sitting down, staring at the kitchen table when Remus returned. James glanced up at Remus's entrance, then went back to staring at the table - no, something on the table. Lily's wedding ring.
Remus took a deep breath, then sat down too. "I'm sorry," he said. "I was a bit harsh there."
"A bit?" James commented dully. He didn't look up. "You're right, though. I'm being an idiot." He sniffed, and Remus realized he was crying. He reached out hesitantly, and gripped James's shoulder. James covered his face with his hands, but relaxed into Remus's touch.
"I'm sorry," he said, voice muffled. "I'm sorry."
Remus sat with him until his tears were spent.
"Better?" he asked.
James nodded, but did not speak.
Remus stood and rummaged in his pockets. He pulled out a chocolate frog and silently handed it to James, whose expression went shaky for a moment. Then he started making tea for them both.
"So what have we learned today?" Remus asked finally, once they had both drunk a cup.
James smirked. It was weak, but it was there. "That I need to get my head out of my arse."
"You're not wrong, but try again," Remus said. "What are you going to do differently?"
James sighed. "I'm not going to skip therapy," he offered.
"What else?"
"I'm going to focus on one thing at a time. I'm going to take a break from researching everything. I'm going to pass my qualifiers and then I'll dedicate a little bit of time to researching. I'm going to be home at normal hours, and I'll tell you if I can't make it straight away."
"Good," Remus said. He hesitated. "Prongs, there's something you should know."
"What's that?"
Remus didn't want to say it, but… "Someone was following me earlier."
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