The day passed by fairly quickly for Taiki after the whole passing out incident but all in all her afternoon wasn't that bad. She was actually slightly happy about the possibility that she might make a new friend and she had a smile on her face that wouldn't seem to go away.
The only downside to her afternoon was she couldn't bring herself to eat anything aside from the granola bar she'd had earlier on so she was beginning to feel really light headed and dizzy again. By the time school was over she had a major headache that just wouldn't seem to go away.
It was halfway through her walk home when she remembered her mom got off work early today and she'd be waiting for her at home. She knew she'd be in for a lecture about missing supper the night before and she was dreading it plus having a headache on top of it was only going to make things worse. She sighed as she continued to walk with her binder in one hand that was beginning to feel more and more like a ton of bricks by the minute.
By the time she got home she was practically trembling as she reached for the door knob, knowing her mom would be yelling at her as soon as she stepped foot into the house. She stood there for a couple minutes, cherishing the peace and silence before she finally grabbed the door knob and opened the door.
The second her foot touched the floor she heard her mother's voice echoing from the kitchen. "Taiki."
She gulped nervously but marched on forward, bracing herself for the upcoming confrontation. She stepped foot into the kitchen as she robotically walked over to the kitchen table where her mother was seated. She found herself sitting down across the table from her as she slammed her binder down loudly on the tabletop.
Her mother glared at her but said nothing. There was a long eerie silence that lasted for several minutes, Taiki's mom's hazel eyes boring into her soul as she watched her, before the older woman finally spoke. "Why did you skip supper last night?" she asked quietly, her voice hidden with venom even though her approach was sweet.
Taiki could feel her hands starting to become clammy and she was very thankful that they were hidden underneath the table. She steadied herself for a moment before staring her mother straight in the eyes and then telling her lie. "I wasn't feeling very well and as soon as I went upstairs to lay down for a nap I just passed out. Gomen, I forgot to tell you what happened."
"That's not an excuse Taiki. You need proper nutrition to make sure your brain is functioning properly so you pass your classes. We can't have you getting low marks like you got at your last school. I'm surprised that they thought you could go up a grade! I thought that was only for the genius kids."
The young woman winced at her mother's words and tried to blink away the tears pricking her eyes. "Yes mother. I will do better this time."
Her mother huffed as she folded her arms across her chest. "Good, I will hold you to that. I don't want to have to tell my friends about your embarrassingly low marks." she said sternly as she stood up from her chair. "I'm going out now for a few hours. I expect dinner to be on the table by the time I'm home."
Taiki knew her mother was just delusional but that didn't stop her words from getting to her. She watched as her mom walked away and grabbed her purse before leaving the house.
She could feel the urge to binge coming back and she knew she shouldn't do it but she needed to feel stable again and besides she'd only do it once more and then never again. This would be an epic binge and purge session, an epic farewell to the bad behavior.
She got up from her chair, walking slowly to the kitchen and looking around cautiously as her mind screamed at her not to be so stupid. But she went and ignored the voice in her head telling her to stop and began grabbing any kind of food she could get her hands on.
All she could focus on was eating to numb the pain she felt inside. She ate and ate until she was stuffed so full she felt like she was going to vomit. Too many calories lingering inside her, it had all tasted so good and it had satisfied her cravings and had numbed the pain slightly but she knew if she didn't purge that she'd surely gain weight.
She stood up slowly, brushing crumbs and wrappers off her clothes and walked over to the stairs, trying not to pass out as the pain from her overly full stomach grew and grew.
She felt fat and terrible about herself and regretted bingeing and even though she knew she was going to purge anyways she still felt extremely guilty.
She made it to the bathroom and dropped down in front of the toilet like she had so many times before and shoved her fingers down her throat. She puked and puked until her stomach was empty. She weakly stood up, flushing the toilet and lifted her shirt up as she looked at her reflection.
Her stomach had been slightly bloated before but now it was mostly flat again although her face showed the effects of what she'd done. Her cheeks were puffed out and her eyes were bloodshot and there were tear streaks everywhere.
She sighed, pulling her shirt back down as she tried to splash cold water on her face.
She wearily walked back downstairs to clean up her mess, trying to stay conscious so she didn't pass out on the floor.
After about a half hour of cleaning she grabbed her binder from off the table and made her way up to her room, slamming the door behind her.
She sat down on her bed and opened it to her study notes from chemistry. She tried to focus on the words on the paper but her vision was too blurred and she could barely think.
She closed her binder and set it down on the floor before curling up on her bed, tears slowly beginning to trickle down her cheeks as she clutched her pillow tightly.
She was supposed to be the genius, she wasn't supposed to be the girl with the eating disorder. She was supposed to be better then this, she wasn't supposed to be eating 3000 calories in one sitting and then vomiting it all up. She was supposed to be getting perfect grades so she could get into the best college!
A sob escaped her as she clutched her pillow even tighter.
She hated herself. She was a failure. She was supposed to be the genius but instead she was just letting everyone down.
She cried and cried until she fell asleep, her secret safe inside her brain and away from the rest of the world where everyone saw her as Taiki the Genius. One day they'd find her out and then they wouldn't think that about her anymore but for now she was content to let them look up to her.