Guest Omake
Just... no. (By Guardian Lurker)
Somewhere, not in Brockton Bay, in a dingy apartment, an old TV finished playing a documentary about the newest surprising parahumans in the United States. Two slovenly dressed men (the cleaner of the two was wearing a white wife beater t-shirt), slouched in a lumpy couch, each holding a mostly empty cut-rate beer bottle. A graveyard of empty bottles lay between them and the TV, and the mess was actually less depressing than the looks of dejection on their faces.
"Mick! Josh! I've got everything ironed out with Big Frankie. He and his boys will keep the fuzz off our backs. And Smitty says he can disable the locks, no problem, once we're in. We're gonna be RICH!"
"Uh-huh. Right, Frez. Say, Josh, how far are we from Brockton Bay?"
Josh, who was not wearing the white t-shirt, grimaced. "Not far enough. I mean, my cousin Ollie, he works for the BB Department of Roads, right? He said the small one got in trouble for slamming into some buildings and bridges while she was testing her supersonic hoverboard. Said it was a good thing the water jets just vanished. The boom was bad enough, Ollie said, the jets would have carved the roads like cheese. Supersonic? She'd be here in minutes."
"Yeah. You know, Sean? He tried to pull a bank job like ours just after they showed up. Said the small one bent his gun's barrel and cussed him out for almost shooting at one of his homies in the crossfire. Said he saw the bullets bounce off her. He still won't go anywhere without one of those big flood flashlights. Turns it on and looks in the shadows even during the day."
"Guys?"
"No way, Frez. No way in any mother-loving, shit-fucking HELL. They'll get us. And worse! Ollie says the lizards know Boss Hebert! No F-ing WAY am I pulling a bank job here!"
According to the talking heads, the lizards are responsible for a nationwide drop in crime. The folks in the know, know that it's really because of Boss Hebert.