Chapter 3: Family reunion

What was wrong with her? Her and Peter were dead and buried. Had been for years. She'd moved on; more than once. So why was she feeling like this? Why was she sat here shivering on this park bench in the middle of a northern winter lamenting the end of a marriage that was doomed before it even began?

She thought about Peter; happy, in love, starting a family with someone new. She wondered what Toyah was like. She'd never met her, all she knew was that she was Leanne's sister. How Peter could've gone there with his ex-sister-in-law Carla couldn't even begin to fathom. But he had. And whatever it was about this new "love of his life", it had kept him off the booze, it had made him excited to be an expectant dad, it had made him happy.

Carla couldn't help but wonder why she hadn't inspired this side of Peter. All being married to Carla had inspired Peter to do was go back on the booze, to run away, scared, at the prospect of becoming a father again, to find comfort in the arms of another woman.

What was so special about Toyah? More importantly, what was wrong with Carla? These thoughts kept spinning around and around in Carla's head until she wanted to scream.

Carla shook her head violently; she had to stop thinking like this. She couldn't afford to get maudlin about the past. Not now. He'd moved on. She had to accept that. Not that she'd ever want him back; not after what he did. But it hurt. Knowing that he had this happy future, when she…

She stood up.

"Get a grip, Carla."

She had to get back to her daughter, she'd be missing her mum.

But Jamie was far from missing her mum.

Carla stood in the entrance to Michelle and Robert's flat, shocked to see it full of people.

"Chelle?"

"Sorry, I called Johnny and he called Kate and..."

"And Aidan?"

"Ummm, he had some factory stuff to sort out. Said he'd catch up with you later. You want a cuppa?"

"Yeah, ta."

Johnny finally noticed Carla's presence.

"There she is."

Johnny gave Carla a quick hug before his attention was drawn back to his granddaughter.

"Grandad!" Jamie chastised Johnny for his brief absence as her play companion.

"Coming sweetheart."

"Alright Jenny?" Carla didn't know what to say to Jenny, she barely knew her step-mother.

"Hi Carla, you didn't tell us you were coming," Jenny sounded almost reproachful.

"Yeah, sorry. It was a last-minute thing."

Kate seized her opportunity and jumped out of her seat, making a beeline to her sister, who was still stood by the door. Before the obligatory sisterly hug was even done with, Kate was making her excuses.

"I'm sorry I can't stay, I promised I'd go see… a friend."

"You mean Rana?"

"What? Who told you? How do you –"

"Kate, it's fine. We'll catch up later, okay?"

"You sure?"

"Go."

Kate smiled distractedly at her big sister before hurrying out of the flat.

Carla sighed and leaned back against the door, a bittersweet smile on her face at the sight of her daughter and her dad playing together. Johnny had welcomed Jamie Connor into the family with all the grandfatherly love Carla could have wished for. As for Carla? Well, she'd never felt less like a Connor.

Carla watched the happy family reunion for a few moments before pulling out her mobile and making a call.

"Are you avoiding me?"

"So where are you then?"

"If that's how you wanna play it, I'm coming to you."

"No! Stay where you are."

Minutes later Carla was walking into the Rovers; her eyes scanned the room and locked onto her target. She strode over to one of the booths where her brother was sitting alone, nursing a pint.

"Nobody likes a sulker, Aidan."

"I'm not sulking."

A raised eyebrow from Carla.

"Okay, maybe I'm sulking a bit. But can you blame me?"

Carla slid into the seat opposite Aidan.

"I told you, I've got other responsibilities now. I've got to think about the future."

"Don't you see, that's exactly what I'm doing. That factory is this family's legacy. The Connor legacy. Your legacy."

"No, Aidan, that factory, it's my past."

"I'm begging you, Carla, as my sister, please help me."

Carla looked at Aidan intently; she could tell he was desperate; she should know, she'd been in that same position herself more than once. But things were different now.

"I'm sorry, Aidan, I can't."

Aidan shook his head with, what was it Carla thought, disgust?

"So what are you doing here?"

"What? Can't I come visit my family at Christmas?"

"Why now? I mean, it's not like you've given us a second thought since you left."

"Hang on a minute. I don't recall you ever coming to visit me in Devon."

"So it's all down to us to maintain the relationship?"

"That's not what I'm –"

Carla dropped her head to her hands in frustration; in weariness. Aidan looked at his sister properly for the first time.

"Are you okay?"

Carla looked up at him sharply.

"Apart from you doing me head in ya mean?"

Aidan laughed.

"Yeah, apart from that. That was a serious question, Carla."

Carla smiled at her brother.

"I'm fine."

"Really?"

"Well, I am gasping for a drink if you were offering…?"

"Sure."

Aidan stoop up and walked to the bar. Carla rested her head in her hands again, her breathing was shallow and ragged. Shivering, she wrapped her coat tighter around her body. She looked over at her brother standing at the bar. She wished she could help him, but how could she? She had to think of the future; Jamie's future. That was all that mattered to her now and she was scared that she was running out of time. The thought brought tears to her eyes.

"I got your usual, red wine. Hope that's okay."

Carla blinked back the tears and plastered a smile on her face. But in the back of her mind, the imagined sound of that ticking clock, moving ever closer to midnight, struck fear into her heart.