We are the Borg. We have assimilated the life form known as SentinelSpockNimoy. However, she still does not own Star Trek. She does however own Orion. You will credit her if you use him. Resistance is futile.

Hugh's POV

Orion is a genius. At least when it comes to comedy.

It all started when Picard decided to read him all the logs from the missions of the USS Enterprise commanded by Captain James Tiberius Kirk. Namely, the adventures had by said captain and his first officer, S'chn T'gai Spock, a Vulcan/Terran hybrid. Apparently, at some point, the two had decided to make a list of all the ways they annoyrd Dr. McCoy, who was now Admiral McCoy. This was Orion's favorite part. He would always laugh his little head off at the pictures the two would include with their entries. So I shouldn't have been surprised when he started trying his own hand at "Bones trolling" as Kirk had called it.

First, Orion crept after the admiral and would stand behind him making faces or dancing about in such a way that whoever McCoy was talking to had a hard time not laughing. When the admiral would turn around, Orion would dart behind a desk or something, so McCoy wouldn't see him. This made it even harder for anyone to not laugh. To add to it, Orion would start holding up homemade signs and props that other children and even some of the younger ensigns had made for him that either made McCoy look funny or said something funny about him. The children, when Orion did this performance for them, didn't even try not to laugh. And honestly, I couldn't resist a quiet chuckle either.

Orion's next antic was to have a little Spock costume made up from the replicator. Whenever someone saw him in it, they always went "Aaaaaawwwwwwww!". At first, he would just appear randomly wherever McCoy was, not doing anything, but just standing where he knew McCoy would HAVE to see him. Don't ask me how he figured that out, I myself was amazed. I admired his efforts, though.

Next, he deliberately followed McCoy around in the Spock outfit. He'd even practiced WALKING like the Vulcan. When that didn't generate enough laughs, Orion started saying things the Vulcan would would send some crew members rushing out of the room, coughing to hide their laughter. He would follow McCoy until the man hid in his quarters. Then, when the door closed, Orion would stride off looking very pleased with himself. Jean-Luc and I knew we should probably do something, but truth be told, we both thought he deserved payback for how he treated me and my people. And Orion was doing a much better job than either of us could do. And he was just so cute in that little Spock outfit!

The other parents didn't mind either, when Orion recruited other kids to join him, so now McCoy had a small army of pint sized Spocks following him around. As Orion's antics got better, it got harder and harder not to laugh right there as he was doing it. He and the other kids even reprised his "Act silly behind McCoy then hide when he looks" act. Even Worf was starting to crack smiles at the little boy.

One night, the kids all somehow found loads of Sharpie markers and drew all over McCoy when he passed out in Ten Forward. Orion had drawn the angriest, grumpiest eyebrows I had ever seen. Then they all ran off giggling when McCoy started to stir. He didn't even realize it until he went to the bathroom and saw it in the mirror. The resulting screm sent the children into fits of hysterical laughter.

The best one, however, was what everyone on the Enterprise now calls "The Air Horn Prank". Yes, people actually gave this one a name.

As usual, Orion got the idea from one of Captain Kirk's personal logs. He had Wesley Crusher help him procure two items from the replicator. The first was a device known as an "air horn". Orin carried it under his Spock shirt and did his normal McCoy following, along with the rest of his apparent cohorts and minions. He was waiting for just the right time to spring his newest plan.

That time came at dinner, when many of the ship's crew were present in the cafeteria where Admiral McCoy was eating. The many crew members provided the perfect cover for Orion in his Spock suit as he soundlessly crept up behind McCoy. Then, with such perfect timing that only a Borg could do, he jumped up and blew the horn right by the man's ear.

The crewmen around McCoy were having a hard time restraining the full force of their laughter as McCoy jumped into the air, almost sending his dinner flying.

That's when Orion pulled out the second object he'd had Wesley get for him.

A large, fully inflated device called a "whoopie cushion". I could tell by Picard's snickers that he knew exactly what was about to happen, and he found it highly amusing.

"What's so funny, Jean-Luc?" I asked, since he couldn't stop grinning, "What does it do?"

"You'll see, Hugh." he said, still grinning as he put an arm around me and pulled me close, my head on his shoulder, "You, my dear, are about to witness what some humans call a timeless classic prank." I looked back at Orion in time to see him place the cushion on McCoy's seat. He gave a mischievous grin and darted away when he saw McCoy start to sit back down. Everyone who saw what he did was already snickering to themselves. I almost felt sorry for the unsuspecting admiral. Almost.

Then he sat down, and I forgot all about almost feeling sorry for him.

A loud, drawn out sound filled the room, a sound that humans called a "fart" sound. And that did us all in.

All the crewmen lost it then, no longer able to hold their laughter in. Some were laughing so hard they beat on the tables, others were crying and holding their sides as they laughed so hard they couldn't even talk. And still others laughed so hard they actually fell off their seats and were rolling around on the floor.

Jean-Luc was laughing himself silly, and I heard another laugh along with his that I realized was my own. I couldn't help it, especially not when I looked over and saw McCoy's face. Humans would say it was "priceless". Jean-Luc snapped a picture of it as I fell into a fresh fit of hysterics. If I weren't already sitting down, I would've fallen over laughing.

And only Picard and I saw Orion standing in the doorway with a look that said "My work here is done." before he turned and strode out.

This was a fun chapter to write. After 13 kinda serious chapters, I kind of wanted to do something a little more lighthearted.

Also, m1schiefmanaged, since neither of us likes Bones, this chapter starring the cutest little troller ever is for you. Bones trolling FTW!