Chapter 4: The new model
Carla sat at the dining table in the back room of the Rovers trying her hardest not to stare at the woman sat opposite her. Toyah. The woman Peter loved. The love of his life. The mother of his child. She tried to figure out what it was about her that would attract a man like Peter. All she saw was dowdy, boring, dressed in curtains. Maybe Carla didn't know Peter as well as she'd always prided herself.
Toyah looked up and caught Carla's questioning gaze; the two women quickly looked away, embarrassed.
The silence was unbearable; why had Peter left them alone like this?
Finally, Peter re-entered the room, armed with steaming hot cups of tea, oblivious to the awkwardness his absence had caused.
He sat down at the table and looked intently at his ex-wife.
"We've talked it over, me and Toyah, and we want Jamie to be part of our life. Part of our family."
"You're both committed? Long-term?" Carla needed to be sure.
"Absolutely," Peter jumped in.
Carla looked over at Toyah; Toyah pointedly avoided her probing gaze.
"Toyah?" Carla wanted to hear it from her lips; from the lips of the woman who would be a mother – a step-mother – to her daughter.
"Yeah. Like Peter says, Jamie will always be welcome in our home."
"And the baby?"
"What about the baby?"
"I know how much energy a new baby takes up. I, umm…"
"What are you getting at, Carla?"
Carla took a deep breath; this was harder than she'd imagined.
"Peter, do you mind giving me and Toyah a minute to talk? In private?"
"Umm, sure."
Confused, Peter rose to his feet and walked towards the door that linked the private residence to the public house.
"I'll be in the bar."
As soon as the door had closed behind Peter, Toyah's accusations began.
"What are you doing here, Carla?"
"What? I –"
"Do you want Peter back?"
Carla laughed; if only Toyah knew the truth.
"No. I am not interested in Peter, not in that way."
"Then why are you trying to drive a wedge between us? Pushing me about my commitment to your daughter. Yours, Carla. Yours and Peter's. Not mine. Why does it matter what I think? What I feel?"
"I'm not trying to cause you any problems, Toyah. I just…"
"What?"
"I need to be sure, that you will love my daughter like she's your own," Carla started to tear up. "I can't bear the thought that she would ever feel, I dunno, second-rate. That she would feel the difference between her and your biological child. I just couldn't bear it."
Toyah softened at witnessing Carla's raw emotion.
"Carla, I wouldn't, I swear. I love children. I'll learn to love yours because she's Peter's and I love Peter. I'm sorry, that's the best I can do."
A soft knock at the door soon revealed Peter wanting re-admittance to this bizarre tête-à-tête. He approached the table cautiously.
"So, how did you girls get on?"
Both Carla and Toyah were loathe to break the silence that had descended after Peter's question. Peter implored Carla.
"Car, I know I've been a rubbish dad. Please, please let me make it up to Jamie. And you. I swear, I won't let you down. Just give me a chance. I just wanna be her dad. Please."
Carla looked from Peter to Toyah. She couldn't read Toyah, she didn't know if she was being sincere, if she would love Jamie like she deserved. But she could still read Peter. And she could tell that he was desperate to prove himself. Looking into those dreamboat eyes of his, that were looking back at her with such sadness and longing, caused Carla to melt.
"Okay. I'll talk to Jamie tonight. And, if she's happy about meeting you, I'll bring her round tomorrow."
"Really?"
"Yes, really. But it's up to Jamie, you understand. If she says no, then that's it."
The tears sprang from Peter's eyes; he hadn't felt like this about anything for the longest time.
"Of course. Absolutely. She comes first."
Peter reached out and took hold of Carla's hand.
"Thank you, Carla. Thank you so much."
Carla snuck a look at Toyah's reaction and she knew then without a doubt that the road ahead would be tough. But looking back at Peter and his unrestrained joy at the thought of being able to see his daughter made it all worthwhile for Carla. Not that she had a choice; Peter was her last and only hope.