AN:

kallinit for the review about parseltongue: since they didn't go into detail about how exactly to open the chamber at the order meeting I didn't want to throw in how she knows it without context. So that will be explained when the smaller group goes to actually kill the basilisk! Thanks for the review and nice words:)

I always feel like the mudblood scar would have more of a lasting effect on Hermione than most people portrayed. I feel like it would represent everything that had happened to her and in order to move on she'd have to accept it.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything!

Chapter 12: Secrets

To say Hermione was surprised when she received a note from Madame Pomfrey requesting her presence in the hospital wing before breakfast that morning was an understatement. She'd gotten much better at sneaking out of the pile of boys without waking them up in the mornings.

She'd taken to getting up before them and getting ready to get some studying done in the common room that she couldn't do with them in the room. When she'd walked down there at close to five in the morning an elf had popped in and handed her the note. She'd promptly walked to the hospital wing out of curiosity.

Pomfrey had been waiting for her and quickly ushered her into her small office in the back and instructed her to take a seat.

"How are you doing, Miss Granger?" Hermione gave the healer a questioning look, but answered the question nonetheless.

"I've been doing fine all things considered."

"Any lingering effects?"

Hermione hesitated then said, "I still get tremors every once in a while."

"From the crucio I assume?" Hermione appreciated Pomfrey's clinical way of speaking about things.

"Yes…"

"Any lingering effects mentally? I am surprised you are still sane if the diagnostics from that night were accurate."

"Well, I slip away sometimes," Hermione whispered.

Pomfrey nodded like she wanted her to continue.

"I hear voices and such… and sometimes get a little trapped in memories, but it's getting better."

"Very well. Anything else?"

"Will my scars ever disappear?"

Pomfrey frowned and for the first let her clinical mask slip into a sad expression. "I'm sorry, but I am afraid not. Most of your injuries were acquired from dark objects and curses. You could try glamoring them?"

Hermione shook her head and said, "Already tried that. Doesn't work."

Pomfrey nodded, "I thought so."

Hermione allowed the silence to linger for a few seconds before asking, "Was there anything else?"

"Yes actually. I've been meaning to send a note for you to return this, but it kept slipping from my mind." Pomfrey reached behind her and opened a drawer. She pulled something out that looked to be wrapped in a simple yellow cloth.

Hermione tentatively took it from her hands. When she unwrapped it her eyes widened in shock.

It was the time-turner.

The one that Snape had apparently programmed under Dumbledore's to send her back.

Hermione immediately wrapped it back up and clenched her fingers tightly around it.

"Thank you, Madame Pomfrey. I assumed that Dumbledore took it, or that it had been destroyed."

"It's yours, deary. I am sorry I kept it from you for so long."

Hermione had a brief smidgen of hope that perhaps she'd be able to study it and figure out a way back. She'd be able to see Harry and Ron. Find her parents. End her war.

You can't, Mione.

I believe what I used to send you back destroyed your timeline all together.

Hermione felt tears spring to her eyes.

There was no future to go back to. This time-turner was essentially useless.

Hermione stood abruptly and gave Pomfrey a strained smile.

"Well, I'm sure James is waiting for me, so I must be heading back," she said quickly.

Pomfrey nodded at her absently.

When Hermione got back to Gryffindor Tower she shoved the device as far down her bag as she could manage.

A problem for later.

Pandora and Hermione continued to meet at the room of requirement every friday for a month and they still hadn't had any luck. The room was a nightmare and Hermione could really only search for a couple hours tops before she'd have to go back to Gryffindor tower.

Hermione was getting restless and irritable and the boys had started to notice.

It came to its peak that morning at breakfast the swarm of owls had swooped in and dropped the Prophet on the table. Hermione had grabbed it and paled at the headline.

"Muggleborn's Family Murdered!"

Hermione scanned the paper and only got more and more stiff as she read. She vaguely registered Remus's hand on her elbow.

The picture was of the dark mark above the Whisp family home. The girl was a small third year Hufflepuff.

Hermione clapped a hand over her mouth. She hadn't known the Whisps, but she imagined it was because the muggleborn hadn't made it to the second war.

Hermione had never been more thankful that she had sat next to Lily Evans. She reached over and grabbed the frozen girl's hand. The girl was nearly catatonic, but the contact broke her.

"What if it's my family next, Hermione?"

Hermione thought about her own family. How she would never see her parents again. She pushed that down and squeezed Lily's hand.

"It won't be, Lily." Lily was crying when she looked over at Hermione. James, Remus, Sirius, and Peter were listening carefully to the conversation. "It won't."

Lily had realized in the past month that Hermione was the kind of person you wanted on your side. She was a menace in Defense, and she spoke like she knew all the secrets of the world.

"Over Christmas break I'll come over and set up wards."

"Wards? But we haven't learned those yet…" Hermione just looked at her. "Right. You've read a book about it, have you?" Hermione's stare didn't waver.

"No." Lily jumped and stared at her. "I had the strongest wards I could find up on my own home. Put them up myself."

"Had? Like past tense?"

Hermione didn't answer. She stood and threw the paper back on the table in disgust. In a bout of supposedly accidental magic it turned to ashes. Hermione wasn't looking at any of them when she said, "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to speak with Albus."

"Albus?" James and Sirius chorused.

They all watched in amazement as she looked up at the head table and stared at the Headmaster. When he turned his eyes towards her they held contact for a moment before he stood. Hermione threw her bag over her shoulder and walked out of the Great Hall without a goodbye.

When both the Headmaster and Hermione were gone Sirius said loudly, "What the fuck just happened?"

Despite Lily's sniffling she still managed to reprimand Sirius for his language.

James was too serious to woo her at the moment.

He knew four things for a fact.

The first was that Hermione had placed wards on her family's home sometime before she'd been taken.

The second was that Hermione didn't have any family left.

The third was that Hermione was on a first name basis with Headmaster Dumbledore.

And the fourth was that Muggleborns were being targeted and his two favorite witches were Muggleborns.

James straightened his glasses and looked at Lily. He cleared his throat. Lily looked nervous.

"Potter, what is it?"

"Hermione's right. We're going to place wards up at your house," he said.

"Okay, yes, that's decided, but did everyone hear how Hermione called Dumbledore, Albus?" asked Sirius.

Lily stared at James like he'd grown an extra head for the remainder of breakfast.

Hermione was furious. They'd barely shut the door before she was yelling.

"What about what I said about the wards on Muggle family's homes! Did you even listen!"

"Miss Granger, would you like some tea?"

"Tea! Tea!" She scoffed. "No! I don't want some tea! I want wards on family's homes! I want Voldemort dead!" Dumbledore smiled sadly at her.

"Oh yes. Speaking of that. I have discovered the location of the Gaunt Ring."

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "I'll be coming with you to retrieve it. No arguments."

Dumbledore nodded. "I wouldn't expect anything different."

Hermione wrinkled her nose. "Look into those wards, Albus, or this is just going to continue to happen!" With that she flew out of the room.

The rest of the day passed in an odd blur. Hermione's thoughts had been occupied all day, and it wasn't until her and Lily came upon a rather upsetting scene in the hallway on their walk to DADA that she was able to focus back in.

James Potter had his wand pointed at a levitated and upside down Severus Snape.

Sirius was standing right next to him and Remus and Peter were off to the side shifting nervously.

Hermione braced herself.

"POTTER!"

Lily was furious. She ran up to James and screamed at him to put Snape down. James had a surprisingly serious face when he turned to look at Lily.

"You don't understand he was-"

"I don't care what he was doing. Put him down!"

James reluctantly lowered Snape who immediately climbed back up to his feet and gave James a positively venomous look. It was then that Hermione noticed a bunch of boys in Slytherin green ties standing behind Snape.

"Letting your little girlfriend save the day again, Sev?" Hermione's head snapped up. She knew that voice. It was Mulciber. He'd held quite a few of her torture sessions in the past (future?).

Snape's furious expression moved from James to Lily who visibly flinched back. James's hand immediately went to her shoulder, and Snape's eyes followed the movement.

"I don't need saving from a, filthy mudblood," he said in a low growl. Lily grew very pale and then very red as all of Snape's gang began to laugh and clap him on the shoulder.

"Lily…" Hermione tried, but the girl had spun on her heel and disappeared so quickly that she missed the way Snape's face became grief stricken. Hermione watched as the boy fought with himself in his mind.

Go after her!

She begged from her head.

Then Mulciber had Snape by the tie and was dragging him off.

It was only then that Hermione realized Remus and Peter were holding Sirius and James back.

Hermione jumped in front of them in a panic and said, "Lily needs us!" James immediately deflated at that and started running in the direction the girl had disappeared.

Hermione grabbed Sirius by the wrist and started dragging him after her.

"Come on, Sirius! You can punch him later!"

Lily was a sobbing mess in the empty classroom they'd chased her down to.

She was standing next to a desk with her back to them.

Hermione remembered the first time she'd been called that word. James was reaching out for Lily, but she flinched away.

"Go away, Potter!"

Remus stepped forward, but she just glared at him. It wasn't until Hermione stepped up to her that she let her approach. She turned around to face her.

"Lily." Hermione stopped a few feet away from her. "I know how you feel."

Lily looked up at her and glared. "He's my best friend! How could he just..." Hermione frowned. She was having the most trouble with Snape when it came to separating the future from the past. Every time she saw him or heard his name she would get flashbacks to him in her cell wrapping a chain around her neck and telling her everyone was dead.

Stupid girl!

Hermione shook her head, took a deep breath, and turned to looked at Sirius. He was frowning at her because in the past month he'd learned what all her looks meant. This one meant that the voice in her head wasn't pleasant.

He was still figuring out what to do about it when Hermione steeled herself and turned back to Lily.

"Did you forget I'm a mudblood too?" Hermione asked matter-of-factly. Lily recoiled from her like Hermione had physically harmed her.

Sirius was next to her gripping her elbow in an instant. He growled when he said, "You don't get to call yourself that!"

Hermione didn't even look at Sirius when she pulled away and moved even closer to Lily.

"It's true! It's what I am, and it's what Lily is." Hermione wasn't sure if this was the right way to go about this, but it was too late now. The word had stopped affecting her by the time they had gone on the run, but then it had been carved into her skin and her mentality about it changed.

"In the muggle world you're a freak because you're different." Lily flinched, but Hermione kept going, "Then McGonagall or Dumbledore showed up on your doorstep and told you you were a witch, and it all made sense, right? Made all the comments and insults worth it?"

Lily looked at her for a second before nodding.

"Then you get here and you're different again because you were raised by muggles. And they tell you you're less because of your blood."

Lily was crying again.

"But they're wrong, Lily." Hermione took a couple steps closer to her. "That word is vile, but it's just a word."

Lily had her face in her hands, but she looked up at this. She didn't seem convinced. Hermione yanked her sleeve up and shoved her wrist forward. The letters were still raised and a reddish black like the day she'd gotten it. Hermione refused to look away from it this time.

Lily gasped and turned decidedly green. "What… How…"

"It's just a word," whispered Hermione. Sirius stepped up and carefully rolled her sleeve back down. His fingers lingered on her wrist. When Hermione looked up at him he had a grim expression and the same sad eyes. Looking at his eyes hurt too much, so she turned back to Lily's. Harry's. This hurt too, but she swallowed it down and said, "It can only hurt you, if you let it."

Lily wiped her eyes and nodded.

"Okay." Hermione sagged and thanked Merlin that Lily didn't press for answers. She smiled up at Sirius and turned back towards the door.

"Good. Now chin up." Hermione grabbed Lily's hand and started pulling her back towards the corridor. "We're going back out there."

"What!" Lily squealed.

Peter was shifting nervously when he said, "I don't think that's such a good idea. Maybe we should wait a little bit."

"Absolutely not. If we wait any longer Snape, Mulciber, Avery, Rosier, and all those rotten bastards would have won, and they don't get to win this one."

It turned into Lily leaning back with all her weight and Hermione proving herself to be a lot stronger than she looked.

Lily was protesting and screeching at her and Hermione was cursing more than they'd ever heard. She'd developed a bit of a bad mouth recently.

The boys were all lined up watching from a safe distance.

"My bet is on Hermione," said Remus.

"I don't know… James's Lily Flower has a bit of a temper," said Sirius. "I bet once she gets angry enough it'll be a pretty fair fight."

"You couldn't pay me enough to get in between those two," said a terrified looking James.

Sirius smirked when he said, "You wouldn't have to pay me at all."

Remus shook his head, "No shame, Sirius."

When they focused on the girls in front of them again Hermione had a firm grip on Lily's shoulder and was whispering something in her ear that had her paling rapidly.

When Hermione released Lily she grabbed her bag and promptly walked out of the room. Hermione looked back at the boys and smiled pleasantly.

"Coming?"

Sirius was the first to scramble after her.

When they all stepped out of the classroom it was to a Lily Evans with her arms crossed waiting patiently by the door. She had red cheeks, but other than that she looked normal.

It was evident more than ever that Lily Evans was the kind of pretty that you didn't forget. She was righteously beautiful. Perfect red hair, perfect amount of freckles, perfect deep green eyes, and slender but feminine body.

Hermione felt the familiar self consciousness that had plagued her before she'd been too busy with dark witches and wizards to think about it, return. She was just thankful that she at least didn't have the buck teeth that she'd had up until that mean jinx Malfoy had hit her with in third year. She was finally almost up to a normal weight, but she was still pretty flat in the breast department. She had lightly tanned skin and a small smattering of freckles over her nose which were nice. But her hair was positively atrocious, and Lily Evans was in perfect shiny waves down her back. Hermione sighed.

She grabbed Lily's elbow and continued on their previous journey to the Defense classroom before they'd been stopped at the sight of a certain Slytherin hanging upside down.

"Come along, Lily."

Lily sniffed from next to her and was still obviously pouting.

"Listen, at least your post-cry face isn't nearly as obvious as mine."

Lily scoffed and said, "Yes, but you crying makes all your boys melt like popsicles in the summer."

Hermione looked up at her skeptically before glancing behind her. The boys were walking about ten feet behind her and whispering conspiratorially. Remus saw her looking and gave her a tender smile. Hermione smiled at him before turning back around.

She missed the way a light pink spread across his cheeks, but Lily sure didn't. She nudged Hermione.

"I actually think Remus might fancy you a bit."

Hermione's entire face turned red. She had only ever had one kiss, and it had been with Ron under a sprig of mistletoe in Order headquarters her third year. She hadn't even counted it. It had been less than a second and left both teens blushing messes for the rest of the night to the enjoyment of every member.

"Now I think you're just reaching for something to make me feel better about my ugly crying face," whispered Hermione, but she couldn't help but risk a quick glance behind her again. This time Remus was laughing about something James had said, but then his smile turned towards Hermione and he was awash in concern. She whipped her head back around. She must've looked a fright with her tomato red face and wide eyes.

Lily was laughing then. Hermione slapped her arm and scowled.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you fancy him too, Hermione."

Hermione smacked her again and screeched, "I don't have time for boys, Lily Evans!"

Suddenly the boys were surrounding them and Sirius had put his arm around Hermione.

"What's all this about not having time for boys, kitten?" He asked in a mocking tone. Now Hermione could feel her blush taking over her entire body. She smacked her forehead.

"Get your paws off Hermione, Pads!" Suddenly James was launching himself at Sirius and Hermione was pulled to the ground with him. She landed on her side and her bag fell next to her with all the contents spilling out. James and Sirius were busy rolling around on the ground, so Remus and Lily immediately dropped to the ground and started helping her with her with her things.

"Potter! Just when I thought you couldn't be more inconsiderate!" Lily yelled. James looked up and smiled dreamily at Lily.

"You're so pretty when you're angry, Lily-flower!"

Lily scoffed and continued to gather Hermione's things. Peter was now trying to pull Sirius and James apart to no avail.

Hermione was rubbing her elbow when she noticed both Remus and Lily freeze.

"What is it?"

She crawled towards them, but stopped when she saw a piece of yellow cloth hanging between Lily's fingers. Resting on the stone floor between her two friends was Hermione's time-turner. The time-turner.

Hermione stopped breathing.

She looked up with panicked eyes to Remus and Lily. Maybe they didn't know what it was.

One look in their eyes disproved that notion.

They were both top of the class after all.

Hermione reached forward and snatched the time-turner from the ground and the cloth from Lily's hands.

They would know. They would know, and then they would ask questions. This could compromise her entire plan. None of them were supposed to know.

She wrapped it up and shoved it into the pocket of her robes. She could feel both of them staring at her as she grabbed the rest of her stuff.

She could feel the beginning of a panic attack coming on.

Stupid, girl!

Once she had everything she paused and looked up at her two friends. For the first time since she became friends with them she gave them a look she had typically reserved for Dumbledore.

"Not a word," she said menacingly.

Both looked taken aback, and she felt guilt edge its way forward.

"I'll explain…" she looked over at the other three boys who were just beginning to calm down, "but not now."

She stood up abruptly and practically ran away from them towards the Defence class.

She spent all of defense formulating a plan and trying to ignore her friends' stares.

That night in the common room Remus made up some excuse about needing to run to the library for something. Lily promptly said she also needed a book, and then turned towards Hermione expectantly.

"Coming, Hermione?"

Hermione looked up from her textbook that she had spent the last ten minutes trying to concentrate on to no avail. She sighed and stood.

"Yes. Let me grab something. One moment."

Hermione went to her room and grabbed her notebooks that she kept locked in a drawer in the bedside table and walked towards the exit like she was walking to her death.

As soon as she had stepped out of the portrait she saw the scrutinizing eyes of both Remus and Lily.

"Not here."

She led them all the way up to the only room where she knew they wouldn't be interrupted.

She paced in front of the wall and simply asked for a place to break news.

When she opened the door it was to a comfortable looking sitting room with a small table in between two sofas and a crackling fireplace.

She sat on one, and they sat on the other.

Hermione had spent all of defense thinking about this, and she still didn't know where to start. There was one thing she knew though. If there was anyone she could trust explicitly to keep this secret it was a boy who was a werewolf and the girl who kept his secret.

When Hermione finally looked up at them she had tears in her eyes.

"I have a secret, and you can't tell anyone." Hermione looked between them. "Ever."

Lily's eyes widened, but Remus was leaning forward and nodding his head like he'd already known this was what she was going to say.

Hermione wiped at her eyes angrily and pulled the device from her pocket and dropped it on the table in front of them.

"You know what this is?"

Remus said quietly, "It's a time-turner."

Hermione nodded. "My birthday, my real one, is September 19, 1979."

"1979… but that would mean…" Lily's eyes hadn't unwidened since before.

"That device was used to send me to this timeline on June 14, 1975." Hermione frowned. She really didn't know where to go from here, or what she even exactly wanted to tell them. "I think this would be easier for me if you just ask me questions.

"Why would you come back in time?"

Hermione's frown turned into a scowl. "I didn't decide to come back. I was sent. I had no idea what was happening until I was already here."

Remus sat back and looked pensive for a moment. He scratched the back of his head and nervously asked, "Are you going back?"

Hermione shook her head. "They destroyed my timeline when they sent me back. I've already changed things. My future doesn't exist. I won't be born in 1979."

Remus felt bad for how relieved he was.

Lily jumped in and asked, "Why would they send you?"

"I'm on a mission." Hermione's lips thinned.

"They sent you with no way of going back for a mission? Must be pretty important," said Lily. Hermione was surprised they were taking this so well.

"It is," she replied simply.

"Can you tell us?"

Hermione hesitated. Would she put them in danger if they knew? This was her burden to bear. Then again, she had told the entire order, but that was different. They were all legally adults in the Wizarding world. The thought that she'd been dragged into the war at twelve is what drove her to finally say something.

"It has to do with the war. They're using me… as a weapon of sorts."

Remus frowned. Lily growled in frustration, "Could you stop being so vague?"

Hermione scowled at her and said, "I don't know what I should and shouldn't tell you! This is hard for me!" Hermione took a few deep breaths.

"I'm assuming the war was still going on in your timeline," said Remus.

Hermione nodded and closed her eyes.

"The scars and all your friends… that's all true?"

Hermione looked up at Remus in shock. "I haven't lied to you, Remus!"

Remus felt immeasurably guilty when he saw hurt fill Hermione's eyes. He realized then what that sounded like. He shot up and went to sit next to her.

He grabbed her hands and whispered, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that." He watched as the hurt slowly melted from her big brown eyes and gently squeezed her fingers. "Now, what did you mean when you said they're using you as a weapon?"

Hermione's eyes darted from Remus to Lily, and then back to Remus again.

"We lose. The light side… we finally lose on June 14th of 1994. I was the only one who survived because I was being held in the dungeons of Malfoy Manor. Dumbledore gave someone orders to send someone back to a certain time if all hope was lost to permanently alter the timeline. June 14, 1975. Everyone was dead, Remus."

Remus was putting all the pieces together in his head. Her behavior, not knowing the year, seeming to be war-torn when the majority of the Wizarding community was still untouched, and her apparent hatred of Dumbledore. He was using her. Sent her back without her permission or knowledge in the state she was in. Suddenly her waking up all those months ago and shakily whispering, Lupin, made sense. She must've known him before. He shook himself. That was a topic for later.

"They expect you to single-handedly end the war before it even really begins?"

Remus realized then what ending the war would entail. She was going to have to kill Voldemort.

Hermione nodded. When she looked back up at Remus and Lily she had a steely look in her eyes.

"And I'm going to."

Remus had never believed in someone as much as he believed in Hermione Granger in that exact moment.

Then Lily said with all the Gryffindor courage she could muster, "Not without us, you aren't."

AN: Wow a lot happened in that chapter. Sorry it took me so long! Took me a while to figure out what I was ready for Hermione to tell Remus and Lily. And yes I realize a lot has diverged from the canon verse, but that's kind of the point:) love you guys!:')

In time-turner fics it always bothers me when Hermione never tells anyone where she is from. I get that it would be out of character for her to just come out and say it which is why I forced her hand. She promised herself she would never lie to the boys.

PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT!