GORDON GETS THE GIGGLES

One morning, Gordon the Big Engine was resting in Tidmouth Sheds, watching smugly as the other engines were leaving for work. James looked at him incredulously.

"Why are you just lounging around, Gordon?"

"I'm not 'lounging around', little James," Gordon smirked, "I am waiting for the Fat Controller. He said he has a special job for me. Of course, you wouldn't understand - move along now, I'm sure there's a fine slow goods waiting for you." James growled in fury and rolled onto the turntable to be turned. Gordon watched eagerly as the familiar sight of the Fat Controller's car pulled up to the sheds. The Fat Controller climbed out.

"Ah, Gordon. You will be having special passengers on your express today. The railway inspectors have come for their routine inspection; I have a meeting with the Duke and Duchess, so I will not be accompanying them on your train. Therefore, I expect peak performance from you." Gordon grinned proudly.

"Of course, sir! I've pulled them before without any issues at all. Someone on this railway has to show how it's done."

"Excellent. Carry on then, Gordon." The Fat Controller got back into his car and drove away. Gordon smirked to himself as he rolled out of his berth and onto the turntable.

Gordon puffed importantly into the big station, stopping alongside Spencer, who was waiting at the other platform with his two coaches. Gordon's smirk slid off his face upon seeing him.

"What are you doing here, Spencer?" Spencer snorted.

"Bringing the Duke and Duchess to their meeting, of course. And what are you so happy about?" Gordon's smirk returned.

"I'm taking the railway inspectors today; the Fat Controller specially chose me. An important engine for an important job. Now, if only I could have my coaches…" Gordon glared at the shunting yard, where Charlie was testing out one of his routines on Philip and Ryan.

"So I heard Thomas wants to try going around the world! He got lost barely venturing off Sodor, and he thinks he's gonna travel the globe? Has he ever heard of broad gauge?" Philip and Ryan burst into laughter, making Charlie grin confidently.

"Thank you, thank you-" He got cut off by the stern clearing of a throat. Charlie looked over and noticed Gordon glaring at him.

"My coaches, Charlie…" Charlie chuckled.

"Alright, alright, I'll get around to it, Big G, don't worry about it. You don't mind if I call you that, right? Just thought of it myself." Gordon gritted his teeth; Spencer wisely declined to comment. Charlie smirked.

"Glad you like it! Express coaches coming up!" Charlie started reversing to fetch the coaches.

"Sorry, you two, duty calls. Come back soon, though!" Philip and Ryan groaned in disappointment but nonetheless went back to work. Gordon grunted.

"Silly little engines… They'll laugh at anything." Spencer murmured in agreement.

It wasn't long before Charlie pushed the rake of express coaches behind Gordon and reversed back to the yard to do more shunting. Passengers started climbing aboard the express, but Gordon was more interested in the inspectors. At last, he could see them conversing with the Fat Controller.

"Hmm, yes, well, let's hope this inspection goes over better than the last one," an inspector mused. The Fat Controller smiled sheepishly.

"Of course, gentlemen, but you needn't worry. Gordon's a reliable engine." Gordon grinned broadly at that. Spencer snorted.

"If they want reliable, they should've simply loaned me instead." Gordon glared, about to retort when Charlie puffed in, shunting some trucks into the station.

"Oh, family squabbles! Someone a bit jealous they're not getting all the attention, wedge head?" Spencer blushed bright red but became even more furious when he noticed Gordon snickering.

"Seems like you'll laugh at anything too," Spencer huffed, "You're just as silly as those little engines; unworthy of taking any important passengers, let alone inspectors. You'd never see me giggling away. What would the Duke and Duchess say?" Gordon spluttered, but before he could answer, the guard's whistle blew. Gordon cleared his throat and looked down at his buffers as he departed, leaving Spencer to glare at Charlie. Charlie raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

Gordon made his way up the main line, mulling over what Spencer had said.

"I'll show that Spencer," he grumbled, "Comparing me to those little engines, comparing me to… Charlie! Pah! I'm perfectly capable of being serious. I'm serious all the time!" He surged forward, feeling very confident in his assertion. Up ahead at the coal hopper, Percy was stopping to take on coal. He was unaware that Diesel was behind him, smirking wickedly. Diesel rushed forward, giving Percy a big bump.

"Ouch!" Percy exclaimed before hearing Diesel's familiar laugh and scowling.

"Diesel…"

"You don't need that silly coal," Diesel sneered, "Replace your firebox with an oil-burner and you'll- Ow! Huh?" Diesel looked up, gulping as the coal that was meant to pour into Percy's bunker was coming straight for his roof.

"Uh oh." Gordon slowed down and watched as coal poured down all over Diesel, the pieces of coal smacking him on his roof, causing him to exclaim "Ouch!" repeatedly. The coal had spilled onto Gordon's track, but luckily for him, he had slowed down enough that he could stop easily. Gordon braked as he entered the cloud of coal dust, which slowly dissipated, revealing a very worse for wear Diesel. Percy couldn't help but giggle.

"Were you saying something, Diesel?" Diesel just groaned, but his face paled as out from Gordon's express coaches stepped two very unimpressed inspectors.

"Well, well, well, what's all this then?" one asked, "Disrupting engines' fuel supply and causing an emergency stop. Sir Topham will hear of this behavior." The other inspector nodded, writing something in his notes. Diesel squirmed.

"Sorry, sirs," he mumbled, only to yelp as one last piece of coal smacked him on the roof. Gordon started to laugh, but quickly stopped himself when he noticed the inspectors turning around to look at him. Percy raised an eyebrow at him.

"Gordon? Are you alright?"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine, little Percy," Gordon replied, though his red cheeks and forced voice said otherwise.

"That's good," the inspector said in an irritated voice, "because the inspection has only just started." Gordon smiled sheepishly as the inspectors climbed back aboard. Soon, the coal mess was cleared, though Diesel's roof was still dented and paint still smudged. That wasn't Gordon's concern, however, as he whistled and rolled away, finally letting out some of his held back laughter. Diesel snorted.

As Gordon continued on his journey, his laughter quickly died, replaced by a gasp of horror.

"No, Spencer can't be right! I'm a serious engine, and this is a serious job!" Gordon assumed a determined expression.

"Right. No more silliness. The Fat Controller is depending on me." He didn't get very far, however, when he heard a loud baaing sound. Gordon gasped; up on the line ahead was a sheep, standing stubbornly on the track. Next to it was Trevor the Traction Engine, trying his best to guide it away.

"A sheep? Oh the indignity…" Gordon groaned as he came to a stop, "I'm an express! I can't keep stopping and starting like this!" Trevor winced as the sheep baaed at him.

"Sorry, Gordon. This sheep must've broken away from its pen. I've been trying to get back it there all morning."

"So you're a sheepdog now?" Gordon was about to laugh but quickly stopped himself. Trevor raised an eyebrow.

"Er, is something wrong, Gordon?" Luckily for Gordon, he didn't have the chance to reply as two horns cut him off. Max and Monty drove up, each grinning mischievously.

"Oh, look what we have 'ere! A little sheepie!" Max smirked, advancing on the sheep threateningly. The sheep cowered and stepped back. Trevor glared.

"Stop that! Sheep may seem docile, but they can do quite a bit of damage if threatened."

"Oh, be quiet, old-timer," snapped Monty, "You're as soft as this sheep. We're just having some fun." As Trevor and the dump trucks argued, the inspectors in the express poked their heads out of their windows.

"What's going on now?" an inspector grumbled, "We're going to be very late for the rest of our inspection if this keeps up." Gordon grimaced but suddenly turned his attention back as he heard Max cry out in surprise.

"Whoa! Stay back!" Max cried, reversing as quickly as he could. Charging at him was the sheep, which looked like it was ready to kick him. Max yelped.

"Every dump truck for himself!" he wailed and raced away. The sheep turned its head to Monty and he immediately ran off too, both of them screaming. The inspector shook his head.

"Silly things. Lucky for them we're not road inspectors." The other inspector nodded, writing more in his notes. Gordon forced himself not to laugh, his cheeks turning bright red again. Trevor frowned in concern.

"Gordon?"

"It's just my funnel, there must be something lodged in it," Gordon quickly replied, clearly still holding back laughter. Trevor was about to say something when he noticed the sheep had gone.

"Oh bother, where did it go? I'll have to chase after it, I suppose. Take care, Gordon; perhaps you should go to the Steamworks to have your funnel looked over," Trevor suggested, chuffering off the tracks and into the field beside the line. Gordon whistled and started rolling away.

"Yes, yes, of course, thank you, Trevor!" he called back quickly before letting out his contained laughs. Trevor raised an eyebrow as Gordon puffed into the distance, laughing away.

Gordon continued laughing as the train made its way up the main line, before finally growling to himself.

"Get a grip, Gordon, that wasn't even that funny! Just… that silly dump truck's face!" Gordon started laughing again, not even realizing he was pulling into Crovan's Gate. Sir Handel, who was waiting at the platform with the narrow gauge connection, stared at him in bewilderment.

"...Gordon?" Gordon's laughter died down as the inspectors stepped onto the platform to survey the station. One of the inspectors checked their golden watch.

"Hmm. Ten minutes late," he grunted. The other inspector murmured in agreement, writing still more on his clipboard. Gordon gulped.

"No… no! I have to pull myself together, or those inspectors might write me up! I'll get my express taken away, and that Spencer will never let me hear the end of it!"

"You do know I'm right here, right?" Sir Handel snapped, tired of being ignored. Gordon breathed in deeply and sighed.

"Just. Don't. Laugh. No matter what happens," he affirmed to himself. The inspectors climbed back aboard the coaches, along with Sir Handel's passengers, and Gordon rolled away. Sir Handel blinked as the express train disappeared into the distance.

"...well, he's lost it."

Gordon approached Vicarstown, trying his best to keep his eyes locked on the tracks, should he see something that could trigger a laughing fit.

"Nearly over… Nearly over…" Gordon repeated to himself. Suddenly, he heard a whistle; he looked up and saw Rebecca, rolling through the junction towards the station. Gordon gave a small smile and whistled back, finally pulling into the platform. On the platform next to him was some workmen loading crates of vegetables into refrigerated vans. Gordon let out a sigh of relief as the inspectors stepped off the express. The inspector checked his golden watch; he stared, then adjusted his glasses.

"On… schedule?" Gordon didn't hear him, however, as he looked back and noticed Rebecca was absentmindedly heading straight towards the vans.

"Look out, Rebecca!" Rebecca looked ahead and gasped, trying her best to brake and avoid an accident, but it was too late. Rebecca rammed into the vans, causing the crates inside to fly everywhere. The dust settled, revealing Rebecca smiling sheepishly at the glares around her.

"Heh… sorry…"

"You miserable engine, now we'll have to clean all this up!" Out of anger, a workman picked up a tomato and threw it at Rebecca, right on her nose. The tomato slid down her face and landed on her footplate with a squish. Rebecca winced as the workman stomped away.

"Oh dear…" The inspectors shook their heads and were about to say something when there was an eruption of laughter. The inspectors turned around in surprise to see Gordon, who was laughing the hardest he had that day. Gordon noticed the inspectors looking at him and tried to stop himself.

"I'm so sorry, sirs, this is very unprofessional," Gordon tried to say, despite him still laughing, "But please don't write me up, I-"

"Why would we write you up?" the inspector asked, as if shocked at the question. That stopped Gordon's laughter immediately.

"Because… Because this is an inspection! It's a serious job, and you can't have an engine chortling across the island like some common tank engine!" To Gordon's shock, the inspectors started laughing, Rebecca awkwardly joining in.

"Oh, that's just silly! We take our inspections very seriously, yes, but there's nothing wrong with a good laugh every now and then! Besides, you've been the best part of this inspection thus far!"

"What? But I-"

"-got us here on time despite the constant delays." the inspector interrupted, "That's the true making of a reliable and really useful engine. Sir Topham should be very proud to have you on his railway." Gordon's eyes lit up, but he quickly cleared his throat in a dignified manner.

"Yes, of course. I knew that." Just then, they heard distinct grumbling, and looked over to see Spencer pulling into the station throat with a slow goods train.

"Oh, the shame, the shame!" Spencer lamented, "My status means nothing to these peasants."

"Having some hard work, are you, Spencer?" Gordon grinned, "Good on you. Maybe someday you'll be just as reliable as a real engine." Spencer snorted.

"At least I'm not an immature-"

"Oh, wedge head! Took you long enough!" Rosie smirked, rolling alongside with some trucks, "I thought you were supposed to be fast!" Spencer growled furiously, disappearing in a cloud of steam. Everyone in the station started laughing, even the inspectors. Gordon, however, laughed loudest of all.

Author's Note: Well, I'm not sure if this was expected or not. Season 23 episodes have started airing, mainly in the US, so I figured this was fair game. It was great being able to revisit Charlie again after not really using him since his original two-parter, and figuring out my version of Spencer was a fun task as well. It was also a lot of fun squeezing in characters like Diesel, Trevor, Max and Monty, and Rosie at the very end, it makes the cast feel a bit less isolated than it does in the show proper. The next rewrite will most likely be another Season 23 episode, either Chucklesome Trucks or Diesel Glows Away. Another note real quick; just because I adapt an episode doesn't mean I don't like it, I really like School of Duck, Samson and the Fireworks, and Confusion Without Delay, it's just more so these are writing them into my AU. I'm not sure if that makes sense, I just don't want to seem like a negative nancy. Anyway, hope you enjoyed reading and see you next time!