A/N: chapter dump part 4/4

Nothing could possibly have prepared Sesshomaru for what he saw when he turned back to Rin with a damp cloth to wipe her brow. Her face was no different, but her raven locks had been replaced. Her hair was iron-grey and the crescent marking she'd sported months before had returned above her brows. Atop her head sat two dainty triangles he instantly recognized as her ears. They were turned away from him because of his exclamation. Jaken was sitting by Rin's hand and picked it up a little, surprised to find small, sharp claws at the ends of her thin fingers.

Rin opened her eyes after a moment, surprised to find Sesshomaru hovering over her, seemingly frozen with a shocked look on his still face. Why is he looking at me like that NOW?! She picked one hand up from the futon and reached into her mouth, finding the point of a brand-new fang. "ah!"

What's going on? Did that monk turn her into a Hanyou somehow? How could that be possible?! Sesshomaru's mind whirled as his body stayed frozen in shock.

Rin struggled into a sitting position, her newly golden-amber eyes staring in concern at him. "Sesshomaru-sama? Are you all right?"

Jaken looked up as Rin sat upright and jumped for joy momentarily. "oh, Rin, you're alive! You're- WHAT THE-!" he blurted in horror, scampering backward several paces. The exclamation seemed to break Sesshomaru out of his inaction and he swiftly moved away from Rin, staring down at her with what could almost be called contempt. Rin reached one delicately clawed hand toward him as he moved away, but he made sure she was out of reach of him. He couldn't help his instinctive reaction- she smelled and looked just like a hanyou, a dirty-blooded mixture of human and youkai. Rin stared up at him, hand still outstretched, yearning, her ears pinned down as she started to tear up as if she would cry.

"Sesshomaru-sama…?" she murmured in a begging tone, clearly a bit scared at his reaction. He turned to go into her room as swiftly as he'd come into his own, shutting it behind him and starting to shake as he was suddenly overwhelmed. What was going on? He didn't understand anything.

Rin got to her feet in an effort to follow him, and seemed to blink and be at the shoji that separated their two rooms. She finally realized something was very wrong. She looked down at her hands, seeing the claws, and started to pant as she got more scared. She pulled her hair in front of her, seeing its color change, then put her hands on her head in a panic- and found her ears. She shrieked in terror and disbelief. "What's going on?!" she yelled in fear. "sesshomaru-sama! Help me!" she begged, shaking.

Sesshomaru, standing just on the other side of the door, heard everything. He swallowed thickly, completely as confused as Rin herself was. He had no answers, and he couldn't help her. He couldn't even face her now that she looked so different—so wrong. "Rin…don't…don't come in," he said softly, trying to control his own shaking, one hand on the wall as if to hold himself upright.

Rin gasped at his tone of voice- there was such upset, almost hatred in the tone- he had never, ever used such a tone with her. That sounded like the way he spoke to his brother, or to his enemies. "please, Sesshomaru-sama, what's wrong? What's happening to me?" she begged, needing answers.

He couldn't give them. "just don't come in," he ordered more firmly, not hearing the edge in his voice that she did. He had to figure out what was going on, and sort out his feelings- he couldn't help her right now.

Rin started to cry at his sharp tone and left to find a mirror. She stared for a long moment in shock at her reflection- the golden eyes, the greyish-silver hair, the ears, and the moon…she opened her mouth to see tiny, dainty fangs. "this has to be a dream…" she whispered to her reflection. "please…let this be a dream!" but she knew it wasn't. it was a waking nightmare. She understood, now, his change in attitude, and the anger in his voice- she was a hanyou, the thing he probably despised most in all the world. She had no idea how it could have happened, but it had, and she had no idea if it could be reversed, either. She found a jacket to cover her hair and ears after she changed her clothes and tried to go back and talk to him. Surely they could figure something out?

When he knew Rin had left, he returned from her room into his own, surprised that her scent actually hadn't changed all that much. It was simply blended almost in half with his own scent. He sat down at his desk and closed his eyes, rubbing them slightly. "how…how could this happen?" he asked himself in frustrated confusion. He had asked for her life to be saved—not this! What if it couldn't be reversed? Could he live with her being a hanyou, so different from the Rin he cherished? He had not wanted this at all. He growled lowly in frustration, clenching his fist. Then he heard the door behind him slide open slightly.

Rin stepped into his room, the jacket still covering her head and hair and staring at the ground, as she could do nothing to hide her eyes from him. She clung to the wood of the door's frame with one hand. "S-S-Sesshomaru-sama?" she stammered nervously. She gasped as the frame broke into splinters under her nervous grip.

"Rin, I told you not to come in." he could not look at her, not even in her direction, but his voice was a little gentler now. If he didn't look he could almost pretend it hadn't happened, that it was still just his beautiful human Rin and not some corrupted half-breed that had tarnished her soothing scent…

Rin had been staring in shocked horror at the fat splinters of wood in her hand from her excessive strength, but when he spoke she looked up, seeing his back still turned. "why not?" she asked softly in hurt, teary-eyed again. "can you not even look at me now?"

He sighed deeply, mournfully. "Rin…I have a lot to think about right now." Let me mourn your loss, in case this cannot be fixed…

Her hurt became much stronger and she suddenly cast off the jacket, letting her new hair and ears show, and looked up from the floor directly at him. "that's not true at all, is it?" she barked sharply, angry.

He turned to her and locked eyes with her, unable to stop himself from rising to her challenge. "it IS true, Rin. Why would I have reason to lie to you?" he asked coldly, swallowing a growl.

"but it's not my fault I'm changed! I can hear it in your voice—you hate me now, don't you?" she stared him down just as directly as he was staring at her, unafraid of him.

"RIN!" he barked sharply, sitting up straighter in a mildly threatening tensioned pose, "I think it best if you leave."

The instant he raised his voice, she dropped her gaze and bowed her head, but when he was done speaking she looked up again defiantly. "I'll leave, all right. You don't want to see me, and you don't have to." She hurried out of the room before she could start crying heavily.

Sesshomaru held his head in his hands once she was gone, deeply regretting the confrontation almost instantly. He didn't want to raise his voice or make her cower. He didn't know what to do about her being a hanyou, but it shouldn't affect him so strongly, should it? He had hated humans for far longer, and wanted nothing to do with them- until he met Rin, and everything changed. She was special to him, in a category all her own, and he cared for her deeply. Her physical appearance changing shouldn't affect that at all. Wasn't she still the same woman, with the same soul that had made him save her all those years ago? That had made him turn from his quest for power? He regretted that he had not been strong enough to ask his mother himself to bring Rin back, and jaken had had to do it on his behalf. The relief he'd felt as she'd opened her eyes, breathing once more, was indescribable. He knew then that he would give anything in the world- even his own life- to be sure Rin was safe and well. He had finally found something worth protecting. Yet still, though she had lived under his roof for a year and a half, he could barely admit to himself that he might love her. He did not want to deal with the pain of knowing that they could never be together the way he desired because of the cruel laws of his people. He couldn't bear the thought of being constantly fearful for Rin's life and the lives of any children they may one day have…

While Sesshomaru worried, Rin packed. She hadn't even considered he was only asking her to leave the room. He'd been so angry and hateful, she knew she didn't want to stay near him any longer. "I know when I'm not wanted," she muttered to herself, wiping at her tears as they fell thickly down her cheeks. She had a small bundle of spare clothing and put a pair of narrower working hakama on so she could travel more easily. Jaken caught up to her as she moved to head out the front door.

"wait, Rin!" Jaken yelled, running forward to grab the young woman's ankle desperately. "Rin, please don't go!" he begged her.

"let go!" she yelped, giving him a light kick and forgetting her far greater than normal strength. She gasped in surprise as he hit the far wall and was relieved when he popped right back up again, unharmed. "I'm not staying here, Jaken."

"I beg you to reconsider! Just give Sesshomaru-sama a little time—I'm sure he'll warm up to you!" jaken bowed to her and Rin's ears pinned down in annoyance.

"no, he won't!" Rin's voice suddenly turned quiet and she looked out into the garden, lit by morning light. "he never changes his mind about anything, Jaken- you know that better than I do." She took a step out onto the porch. "goodbye, Jaken…"

"Rin, please, don't go!" Jaken begged again, tears running down his little face.

Rin sighed softly and turned to the imp. "you can come with me if you like. But I'm not staying, understand?" she frowned after a moment, realizing something. "Jaken, could you fetch me a knife or something? I can't go alone and unarmed."

Jaken knew he couldn't leave and follow Rin, as much as he might want to, so he went back inside. He had been with Sesshomaru on the day he'd commissioned a wakizashi from a well known town blacksmith. He had been planning on presenting the blade to Rin on the upcoming children's day, when she turned seventeen. He could fetch that, as it had been delivered a few days ago. When he reached the armory, he noticed a far nicer short blade than that one. It looked much like tenseiga, only shorter. It seemed to glow with unused power and without hesitation Jaken reached for it instead, feeling it far better for Rin to have a blade that matched her- and as a hanyou she could wield a demon blade with relative ease. He presented it to her and she gave a watery smile as she tied it at her waist within easy reach. Then she knelt down and grabbed the little imp in a tight hug, crying afresh.

"i-if…he does change his mind…he'll come find me, okay?" she said, as much to herself as to him. He nodded. She ran toward the garden wall and nimbly leapt over it rather than going through the gate.

Rin ran for most of the day, until she was distracted around mid-afternoon by frying fish and rather familiar scents…she moved through the trees, sniffing and trying to figure out what it was that was so familiar until she bodily ran into someone, falling backwards with a squeak to land on her rear.

"Hey, watch it!" InuYasha barked, ears pinning down with annoyance. "…who the hell are you?"