A/N: weekly chapter bomb part 2 of ?

warning: bad things are attempted here. read with caution if you are easily upset.

Rin slept more soundly than she ever had in her life, completely wrapped in comfort and safety. When the sun rose the next morning and the light fell upon her, a sudden flash of heat went through the young woman, making her curl partway into a ball and scratch whatever she'd been holding. Then she woke with alarm as she scented blood.

Rin's eyes flashed open to see nothing but a man's bare chest right in front of her, with smooth, pale skin. She immediately realized with a slight shock that it was Sesshomaru—then she remembered what had happened the night before. She turned bright red and glanced downward for a moment before looking back up. Yes, just as she thought- not only was he completely bare, they both were! Just what exactly had she been thinking? But she had to admit she probably hadn't been—she'd just been relieved to be home and in the arms of the man she loved—and now she knew he loved her too, or at least he'd said as much and seemed sincere. She took another breath through her nose to settle herself and looked to his shoulder, seeing tiny, bloody furrows that had already stopped bleeding and healed over, leaving the tiny amount of blood with no source. That was the smell that had woken her. She moved her hand and saw the claws that tipped her fingers once more. She sat up, eyes watering as she started to cry in horror. She'd thought it was over! She thought somehow the curse was broken, but it had only been toying with her, it seemed.

When Rin shifted out of Sesshomaru's arms, he rolled partway onto his stomach, revealing a back covered in thin pink lines she'd clearly been the one to leave during their lovemaking. She was even more horrified at that sight—how could he have let her hurt him like that? She glanced to his face, but the only word that came to mind was contented. Everything was right in his world, it seemed. She looked down at her claws again in despair. She couldn't face him like this—he'd said he didn't care but she didn't believe that. She quickly grabbed her underlayer and tied it on, grabbing the rest of her bundle of clothes and items and hurried out of the room just after the sun cleared the horizon. As her first foot touched the wooden floor from the futon, something seemed to prick her sharply on the left side of the neck. She was too occupied to care, only wanting to leave the room before Sesshomaru saw her as a hanyou once more.

Sesshomaru woke just moments after the spring sun cleared the horizon. His bed was pleasantly warm and sweet-smelling, but empty. He opened his eyes and sat up slightly to find Rin gone, and her clothing also. But her warmth and soothing scent still lingered—at least it hadn't been a dream. He stretched lightly and looked down at himself, discovering he was still naked, and couldn't help but smirk slightly. Last night's activities had certainly been…something else. He licked his lips slightly, remembering her fervent kisses. He hadn't known humans were capable of such passion…but where was Rin now? Taking a bath, he supposed. He would leave her to it, then, and have breakfast prepared for both of them. He rose and dressed almost lazily, that silly tiny smirk still on his features and last night's activities and declarations still on his mind…

Rin soaked in the tub for a while after having scrubbed the tiny drop of blood from her claws until she was cleaner than she'd ever been in her life. She was crying still, but trying to calm down. She should see how he reacted to her returning to this hanyou form before she did anything too foolish—but her mind kept going back to all those scratches on his back. Her human nails must have done that. She wasn't good for him. She'd hurt him and he'd let her do it. What could she do?

Suddenly Rin sat sharply upright as someone seemed to whisper a solution in her ear. Her eyes glazed over slightly and she climbed from the tub robotically, drying and dressing, then taking her wakizashi to find an empty inner room…

Sesshomaru was sitting at one of the tables in the dining hall, waiting for Rin, when he suddenly felt a shiver up his spine and got the sense that something was very wrong. Rin was in danger—though how he knew that instinctively, he didn't know or care. He jumped to his feet and hurried into the depths of the manor, following the trail of her scent. "Rin? RIN!" he called for her, frowning deeply in concern.

Rin didn't hear him calling her name. she didn't hear anything but the whispering voice urging her on to do what she must. She laid her wakizashi on the floor in front of her, the handle facing to her right, and knelt down solemnly. She took the sheath in her left hand and the handle in her right, slowly unsheathing the blade and watching expressionlessly as it glowed once more with the acid green light. She put the sheath back down and turned the blade over, taking it in both hands with the point of the blade facing her. She raised it high over her head, preparing to swing it down in an arc, not knowing such a wound would not be fatal as a hanyou. Her silhouette was marked on the paper-screen door by the morning sun, and this was what Sesshomaru saw as he finally found her.

Sesshomaru threw open the door, rushing into the room with every ounce of speed he could muster, snatching the blade out of her hands and tossing it aside. Rin looked up, her eyes momentarily clearing in shock at what had just happened. What had she been doing? Where was she? She'd never even been in this room before! She gasped in surprise as she was suddenly lifted to her feet and the breath was squeezed out of her as Sesshomaru held her tightly for a moment before holding her at arms' length and checking her over for injuries. Finding none to his immense relief, he shook her slightly. "Rin, what were you thinking? What were you trying to do?!" he demanded. He didn't want to believe what he'd seen, though he'd seen it several times before and knew how it would have ended if he hadn't intervened. He barely noticed now that she was a hanyou once more—he only cared that she was all right.

Rin started to sob and curled into his chest, hiding her face. "I don't know!" she wailed, shivering slightly. She couldn't even begin to explain the whispering voice she'd heard that had started to dictate her actions until she had no control and very little awareness. Even if she could explain, she felt he wouldn't understand or believe her. She felt him sigh and felt his arms wrap gently around her, one hand on the back of her head and the other between her shoulder blades, patting gently. "well, it's all right now. Come to breakfast. I had the cooks make your favorite."

As soon as Rin left Sesshomaru's arms the whispers came back. He didn't notice her suddenly still nor her eyes become blank once more. When he noticed she had stopped following him to the kitchens he turned back and gently took her hand—only for her to pull away sharply with a snarl. "Rin?"

"let me go!" she said in a sharp and yet emotionless voice. "you don't really care for me. I'm a monster." She repeated what the whispers told her to say, looking up blankly at him.

"Rin? What's the matter with you?" he had no idea why she was suddenly acting so strangely. He reached to grab her by the wrist and take her to the healer. She tugged against his grip and then flopped to her knees on the floor like a petulant child, staring at the floor. "Rin," he growled, starting to grow frustrated with her odd behaviour. "come on. We have to go to the healer. Something's wrong with you—"

"of course something's wrong with me," she muttered darkly. "I'm a monster now. I hurt you."

"you didn't hurt me, Rin. You can't. now get up, let's go."

She ignored him, tugging sharply at the hand that held her wrist and growling softly. He kept holding her wrist in a firm grip. "Rin, look at me!" he commanded. She tilted her head to the left to bare the right side of her neck and didn't look up. "look at me, I said. Don't make me have to punish you…"

"Just kill me. I know you want to. I'm disgusting to you like this," she said in a flat, inflectionless voice, not looking up still. Her hand loosened from the fist it was in as she started to fight the whispers. That wasn't true. He'd said it wasn't. and he'd never lied to her.

Sesshomaru was shocked by her words but kept a firm grip on her wrist still. "I don't want that, Rin. I only want you to obey me. All I ask is that you let me take you to the healer- you aren't well." A shiver suddenly passed through the girl and she gasped, finally looking up at him with clear, confused eyes.

"why- why am I on the floor?" she asked him, confused quite a bit. She had silenced the whispers for now. He was looking somewhere between concerned and angry.

"Rin, just go- back to your room, and wait for the healer to examine you. You're acting very strangely." He felt her shiver slightly again as she looked down once more.

"is that why you felt the need to punish me?" she asked softly. She was in a very compromised position, kneeling on the floor and held up by one wrist. It was the perfect position to beat someone, but she couldn't believe he'd ever do it…would he?

"go directly to your room and await the healer. Is that clear?"

"hai." She nodded slightly and he let her go, frowning in concern at the mark his hand had left behind on her thin wrist from his too-tight grip.

As soon as he released her and she started to head to her room the whispers were back much more urgently, warning of the danger she was in. he was going to hurt her if she stayed. She had to leave again, to run and not look back. She turned from the path to her room and ran into the garden, hiding by the wall to see what he would do when he discovered her missing.

Sesshomaru fetched the healer and followed him to Rin's room, only to find it empty. He hurried outside, a deep frown on his face and his brow furrowed darkly. A bush near the garden wall rustled and he turned toward it. "Rin?"

She leapt from the bush and onto the garden wall above him. "have you come to punish me?" she demanded, glaring at him. His scowl deepened. "regrettably, I will have no choice if you do not obey."

"'regrettably'?" she repeated in seeming shock. "don't pretend you're not looking forward to skinning me alive!"

"Rin, please, just come here—"

"as if I would make it easy for you to hurt me!" she repeated the whispers once again, and without hesitation leapt down from the wall and took off at a dead sprint for the nearby forest. Sesshomaru gasped and followed as quickly as he could, but Rin was incredibly fast now. She weaved through the trees ahead of him and seemed to be gaining ground on him, getting farther away.

There's a river nearby. The village dogs always left me alone if I jumped in the river and floated downstream a ways. It's worth a shot. Rin veered toward the river and Sesshomaru lost sight of her. He stopped and looked for a moment, just enough time for her to be gone. She jumped for the middle of the river and noticed a large, barely-submerged boulder too late.

Crack.

Both boulder and upper arm broke from the impact and Rin barely managed to avoid inhaling a lungful of water in shock at the pain. She struggled up so her face was out of the current and floated downstream, clutching her broken arm to her chest as best she could. Sesshomaru had been too far away to hear the water-muffled noise, and was worried as her scent faded away as he reached the riverbank. He called downstream, but the rush of the waters drowned his voice.

Rin floated for several miles and finally managed to pull herself to the bank once more where it was shallower and climb weakly out, soaking wet. She could smell incense nearby, from a shrine. She walked up the riverbank and looked up the hill, seeing a shrine to Amaterasu, the sun goddess. She walked up the path under the Torii and stopped at the entrance to the shrine, apologizing for her drenched state and that she couldn't clap like she was supposed to. She knelt in front of the shrine proper with its little effigy of the sun goddess and began to pray. "Kami-sama, I don't know why this has happened to me, but I will bear it. And—I have to ask something of you. I know I have done what I should not, and I know the consequences. I ask you to spare me from them." She looked up at the little statue with tears in her eyes. "I could not raise a child in this state- please, do not give me one." She started to cry in earnest. "I have made a terrible mistake in laying with a man who does not desire me or my kind. he would loathe any child of mine. I could not endanger an innocent baby because of my mistake." She bowed until her head touched the floor, yelping in pain at her broken arm, and murmured a final "please" before staggering upright and walking back to sit at the bottom of the hill, under the last torii.

While she was sitting, crying and clutching a broken arm, she didn't sense a man approach until he sat next to her, making her jump and yelp in agony as her arm was jostled. "Don't hurt me!" she blurted, ears pinning down, but the man chuckled gently.

"it's all right, I promise I won't hurt you. It looks like your arm is broken. May I see?" the man looked gentle, and perhaps thirty, with a soft smile that made Rin want to trust him, though she never really trusted humans, especially men. "My name is Hideoko," he told her as he examined her arm, seeing that it really was broken. "what is yours?"