Payback was in order.
Three weeks of hiking through the ass crack of Fiore's wilderness with the only explanation being, "we're looking for something." It was a load of bullshit. Lucy was so done with his high handed, know-it-all attitude. It was time to put him in his place.
She waited until he was asleep, but didn't act right away. Timing would be key for this to work, so she stayed patient until she heard the telltale signs of a deep sleep coming over him. Keeping her thoughts focused on the stars overhead, the blonde did her best to avoid letting the smallest peep of her plans into the forefront of her mind, determined to surprise him.
After a few minutes of listening to Cobra's heavy, measured breathing, Lucy silently summoned Virgo. She had wanted to summon Cancer to give the dragon slayer a makeover, but that would definitely wake Cobra up and Lucy would've felt guilty for the inevitable poisoning that would ensue.
Tip toeing over to Cobra's pack, Lucy quickly and silently switched it out for the identical pack Virgo had created, and then sent the original back with the maid to the Celestial Realm. With her task complete, Lucy crept back to her bedroll to lie down while struggling not to cackle evilly at her success. He would be so pissed in the morning.
"Where the fuck is my stuff?" Cobra's angry shouting woke Lucy before the sun was even fully over the horizon.
Her mind was suddenly very alert as she did her best to keep her part in the disappearance of his belongings a secret. Doing her best to sound curious but innocent, Lucy asked, "What stuff? Is something missing?"
His entire body whipped around to pin the blonde with a threatening glare. Her reaction was somewhere between amusement and fear at the viciously angry look on his face. She could almost feel him focusing the full force of his Soul Listening magic on her as his single eye glared menacingly while he stalked toward her. "What did you do?"
Her voice lost some of its confidence as she squeaked, "Don't know what you're talking about."
Looking a lot like the old Cobra, the violent, murderous one, he leaned down until their noses were nearly touching. Squatting down to put his entire body only inches away, he growled quietly, "I can almost hear it. You're good, but not good enough to block me out fully. Where'd you put my poisons?"
In a sudden burst of confidence, or maybe insanity, Lucy started laughing, which had Cobra's scowl deepening. Her words were broken up by her boisterous laughter, "You keep telling me we're out here looking for something, so I thought I'd make your lie a reality!"
He put his entire hand over her face and shoved her backwards, easily making her fall on her back with the way she was still laughing so hard. "That shit is expensive. Give it back."
"Nope." Leaning up on her elbows, the wide smile was still on her face though her laughter had died down. "You tell me what we're really doing out here and I'll give it back." When he glared at her again, she said, "You'll never get it back without me, so don't even think about acting on whatever evil scheme you're thinking up."
"Bitch." He sat back down on his bedroll with a huff as he dug through his pack. The confused look on his face made Lucy's smile come back in full force, even more so when he dumped the contents out. Lifting the pack to his nose, he sniffed it before saying, "This isn't even really mine. Good imitation, though."
She walked over to the large pile of lip gloss and candy to start sorting through everything Virgo had gotten from her apartment. Holding one a glittery one up, she said, "Your lips are looking a little chapped."
Snatching it from her hand, he twisted open the tube and smeared the glittery, slimy stuff on his lips. Smacking them together, he made a smooching noise and then asked, "How do I look?"
"So beautiful," Lucy answered mockingly as she laughed again. He listened to her soul with a different purpose this time, noticing it seemed much more at peace than it had the day they'd left Magnolia. There were still echoes of the tropical storm that had been raging in her soul but it was much quieter now. Their bullshit journey to the other side of Fiore had been just what the blonde needed. Between bouts of complaining about the pointlessness of the job she was sure was fake, she'd done a lot of thinking, which Cobra had listened to. The vacation from everyday life had given her the chance to realize she'd been so busy wallowing in her own loneliness that she hadn't made any effort to do anything about it. A new determination to be happy in her current circumstances had started to fill the blonde, leaving Cobra to think maybe his secret mission was almost complete.
"We're not going to find what I'm looking for out here." When Lucy gave him the most irritated glare Cobra had ever seen, he had to struggle to keep a straight face. "I think one of the Sabertooth members might have it. We should stop by their guild."
"Seriously? What are we even doing, Cobra? It'll take us at least a week to get back there and it's almost all the way home." When he didn't answer immediately, she said, "Don't get me wrong, I've kind of enjoyed being away from everything, but not knowing what's going on is getting old."
Standing to his feet, he began packing his bedroll into the phony pack. "I already told you. We're searching for something."
Lucy let out a frustrated shout before she joined him in packing up her things. "I'm never giving you back your poisons."
"Yes, you will. When I'm lying on the ground weak and helpless from magic depletion, you'll get them for me."
With an annoyed huff she said, "Don't count on it."