"Petra told me about the little scene you had earlier," Erwin says while adjusting his shoulder pads. "You're being quite childish about this ordeal. It's very unusual for you."
Instead of a snarky comment and/or punch to the face, Erwin gets a clearly uninterested "Uh-huh." in response. He glances over to the boy next to him to see, to no surprise, that he's already in uniform. The raven-haired boy is leaning against the lockers, his eyes focused on the area Eren's locker is in. And the angle his eyes are at would mean he's looking at...
Well, let's just say that Levi's never really been a shameful person. Good to know he hasn't changed, and apparently has no plans to do so in the future.
Erwin decides to have a little fun.
"She also informed me that she's pregnant, and that she has reason to believe you're the father."
"Yeah."
No, Levi, not 'yeah'.
"Keith has also been impregnated. You're potentially the father for his child, too."
"That's cool."
If he didn't know it before, now Erwin would be for sure that Levi's mind is definitely in a separate galaxy. Levi had at least once expressed interest in Petra before backing down after realizing how pure her intentions are (one manipulating her would truly make them a piece of shit person). Keith, though, was very far in left field; Erwin is the only male Levi has ever slept with, and he most certainly was not the one on the receiving end. The lack of a uterus part is something that can be left unsaid.
"Oh, and Armin mentioned that he and Eren are planning on having sex tonight. He seemed quite excited about it. Said something about strawberry flavors."
Levi's head quickly snaps over to look at Erwin, a dark, borderline homicidal look in his eyes. "What?"
Erwin laughs. "You're too easy, Ackerman."
"You fucking-!" the short male punches Erwin's arm. It only hurts a little. "Fuck you! What the hell is your problem?"
"You're being weird. You should actually talk to Eren instead of admire him from afar like a creeper. As a matter of fact, you can start now."
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"Uh, Levi?" Eren asks sheepishly, causing him to turn around.
Levi blinks, "Jaeger."
"I was wondering if you could give me any advice? About football, I mean. You know, any suggestions on how I could improve and... stuff."
The smallest of the three shows no hesitation and has no qualms of being his usual blunt self. "Your posture sucks. Your back's straight, but your shoulders aren't aligned and don't match. You need to draw your shoulder blades closer together, but not too far to where you look like a chick trying too desperately to stick out her chest. And you always seem distracted. I don't give a shit what dumb problems you've got in the tiny-ass brain of yours, but you need to stop letting them get to you when you're on the field. Your head needs to be in the game. Let it help you forget whatever's bothering you. Use it as a way to express your anguish. Or, whatever."
Eren looks both offended and grateful, a peculiar look only ever seen on the faces of the people who Levi, Mikasa, or Annie Leonhardt decide to finally talk to. "Thanks." he says enthusiastically before going back over to Jean, Reiner, and Bertholdt.
Erwin gets Levi's attention again, and the latter scowls at what he sees.
"What's that shitty smile on your face for, asshole?"
"Your flirting skills are quite horrible when you're doing it with someone you actually like."