Chapter 5: Friends(ish)

He laid in bed that night after leaving Lily at her apartment while thinking about their conversation. She liked him, she liked him enough to consider giving him a chance before having to talk herself out of it. It hurt being rejected, his heart still had a faint ache, but she cared, she called him her friend, and she liked him. Ignoring the fact she didn't want to do anything about it, he was sure he could convince her otherwise, but for now, friends would work. Friends who fancied each other. Friends who knew the others liked them. Friends who wanted to be more. And as he drifted off to bed he dreamed of her.

He dreamed about making pancakes on lazy Sunday mornings. About Harry smashing pancakes into his face as he giggled in delight. About spinning Lily around in a little dance to whatever the radio was playing that morning. He dreamed of kissing her and tasting the maple syrup from breakfast, about her pulling his head down so she could whisper in his ear. He dreamed of her lips, soft and full, brushing against his ear as she whispered about other things they could do with maple syrup. He dreamed about what those other things might entail. He dreamed of wiping Harry's face clean and picking him up out of the highchair. He imagined handing him off to Sirius, who was babysitting. Dreamt of doing all those other things with syrup to Lily, on Lily, whichever really.

But then he woke, and he didn't know what to feel. Relief or disappointment at being woken up? Relief because these dreams, as amazing as they were, were disrupting his sleep. Or disappointment because he wanted it to be real. He wanted more than anything to be able to hold Lily, wake up with her in his arms, play with Harry and watch him grow. After their conversation, the night before that dream more than anything broke his heart, because he wanted so badly for it to happen. But she liked him, he knew she did, she all but said it the night before. He just needed to wait, because some things are worth waiting for. As he thought of Lily. Sweet, stubborn, funny, achingly beautiful Lily with her sweet little baby, he knew they were worth it.

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The next day he avoided any awkwardness by making the first move. He meets them outside their door like normal but instead of holding Harry right away he leaned over and squeezed her hip as he whispered hello. Her eyes looked at him in suspicion but he just smiled, warm, approachable, friendly. Because they were friends, but he was playing the long term game. She needed a friend, he new that, but one day when she was ready maybe they'd be more. So he was friendly but affectionate, so maybe, probably, hopefully when she was ready for a relationship she might consider him.

So he released her hip, smiled and held his arms out for Harry so she could lock the door. Walked with her to the elevator but instead of going their separate ways like they normally would he walked her to her car, tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear, tried to not think about how much more of her he wanted to touch, and told her he hoped she had a good day before he set off in the opposite direction towards his own vehicle.

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That night he was sitting in the living room, Sirius on the couch opposite of him, when he heard a crash in the hallway. Odd, but nothing too alarming to warrant anything but a shared glance between him and Sirius. But when he heard a female voice swear and the loud wailing of a baby he was standing up off the couch and was opening his one door before Sirius could finish his shout of "James?!"

By then he was already in the hallway and was in a state of shock of the sight he saw before him. Harry's face was bright red, and fat tears were streaming down his face as he cried. Lily's face was red, her body tense, and when she saw him standing there she secretly tried to sweep up the few tears that were gathering in her eyes. Harry's diaper bag was laying on the ground, their apartment door was open, and Harry was clenched tightly in Lily's arms. "Jesus...Lil, what happened?" He reached for Harry so he could hold him while she locked the door, but instead of passing him off as she did in the morning Lily clutched Harry tighter to her and kissed the top of his fuzzy head.

"We're - everything is fine James," at his dubious look something seemed to break in her and suddenly she was angry, luckily though not at him. "I just need-" She slammed the hand not holding Harry into her door, "this fucking door to close." Without asking he grabbed the keys from her clenched fist and locked the door. As soon as the click of the lock sounded he heard Lily, his sweet Lily, exhale. Her face was still red, she still had moist eyes, and Harry was still crying. But her shoulders seemed a little less tense now that the door was locked. He stepped closer and grabbed the diaper bag that was lying discarded on the floor.

He stepped closer and ran his hand down her free arm, trying to comfort and soothe her more than anything. His voice was soft and low and Lily seemed to lean into him when he spoke next "Seriously Lil, what's wrong?" A gentle squeeze on the hand he was holding lightly in his seemed to snap her out of the trance she was in and her attention snapped from the upset baby in her arms to him. He saw her swallow hard before she unlinked her fingers from his and reached for the diaper bag on his shoulder, and quickly walking towards the elevators.

The only acknowledgment that she heard him was the frantically whispered sentence "He's got a really bad fever." Then before he knew it, his feet were moving forward and he joined them in the elevator just as the doors were about to close. She glanced at him, confused, scared, stressed, soon her eyes locked back onto Harry. However, when he grabbed the diaper bag from her shoulder, he felt her hand grazed his before she lightly twisted their fingers together and didn't let go until they got into her car.

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They got to the hospital and he had barely stopped the car when Lily had leaped out of her seat, unbuckled Harry and was running into the hospital. He grabbed the diaper bag before running after them. They didn't wait long before the crying baby was gently taken from Lily's arms from a serious looking nurse and wisked away. So they sat there in the waiting room, he quietly tapped his foot and looked at the TV in front of him, as Lily tried to discreetly whip away her tears. Soon after though they days stress must have caught up to her, because soon her head was drooping on his shoulder. He let her sleep for a few hours before he gently stood up, and replaced his shoulder with his bunny hug to cushion her head as he headed to the cafeteria to get some coffee.

When he finally got back to her he set his coffee down, but kept his and gently shook her shoulder until she stirred. He gently helped her up she could stretch before he offered her the warm tea in his hand. She stared at the tea in his hand for a short moment, but it felt like an eternity. When her eyes snapped up to his he was sure he had done something wrong. He racked his brain trying to think about what he could have possibly done, but then just one moment later the tea was knocked out of his hand, her arms were around his neck and her lips were on his.

No amount of dreams, fantasies, or wishing could have prepared him for what it would be like when they finally, finally kissed. He likes to think that he immediately kissed her back, that he kissed her so sweetly that she fell as hard for him as he had for her. But the truth, the honest to God truth was he floundered. He stood there, eyes open, mouth still for far too long, and his arms sung about his sides unsure of where to go. But she didnt flounder at all. Her one arm was warpper around his shoulders while the other tangled in his hair, her lips were, warm, soft, full, and eveything he dreamed they would be. There were fireworks in his chest, fog in his mind, and sun in his soul. It was as if everything in his life finally pieced together, if only for a brief moment and he never wanted to be apart from her.

It was terrifying, beautiful, shocking, and earth-shattering all wrapped up into one kiss… one kiss that was ending, and when he felt her start to pull away he suddenly jumped into action. Any sort of fear or nerves keeping him from kissing her back like she deserved to be kissed disappeared the moment he was faced with the reality of her pulling away. He never wanted her to pull away, never wanted to be apart from her, he was not too sure on the logistics of it but he could quite happily spend the rest of his days with his lips pressed to hers. So her kissed her back, his one arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her further into him, one hand cupped her jaw to keep her in place, and he moved his lips purpofully against hers. Lips moving in a graceful dance, and he took a shot and gently nipped at her bottom lip, she whimpered and he was sure that was the only sound he ever cared to hear in his life again.

But then a pointed cough entered his happy, lovely world, and he felt Lily's hands press against his chest in order to gain some room. He was annoyed at for a moment, because who dare interrupt what could possibly the greatest moment of his life, but then he looked down into her face. Lily's sweet, flushed, shy, smiling face, which was looking at him in awe and he didn't mind anymore, because what could possibly be a better view than that.

He did, however, spend the remainder of the night glaring at the man who interrupted their kiss. But he did it with Lily leaning against his shoulder, hand tighly holding his, with her leaning up every once in a while to brush her lips against his jaw. So he didn't really mind, because as he glared at that old man he held the hand of the most amazing woman he ever met.

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