26th August 1998

10:00pm

"I'm done," I sighed as I let myself flop into the centre of the double bed that was going to be mine for the night. Ginny and the girls found space on the rest of the bed and Blaise and Malfoy folded themselves gracefully into chairs.

"Well, at least now we won't have to worry about getting you a new wardrobe until at least next year," Pansy sighed as she rubbed her eyes.

"Why would I need one next year?" I asked. Tracey and Daphne laughed lightly while even Ginny shook her head as I propped myself up on my elbows. Blaise had his eyebrow raised but then sighed.

"Because my dear naïve sister. You're a Zabini. Surely you're aware that Mother is rated Britain's most fashionable witch at least three times a year, and when it's not Mother, it's Narcissa, styled by Mother. When the papers get hold of the fact that you're a Zabini properly, they will be following you around just like they did when you were recognisable as Hermione Granger. Only this time they won't regard you with pity when you wear the same robes twice," Blaise explained. With a sharp gasp I sat up fully, anger marring my features.

"They regarded me with pity?" I asked. Ginny winced and then laid her hand on my leg.

"Not the papers that mattered," Ginny said quietly and Pansy snorted.

"Weasley. They matter. They might not matter to you and your rag-tag bunch, but to pureblood society, they matter," Pansy sighed.

"I'm pureblood," Ginny responded automatically, but Daphne waved it away.

"You know what we mean. The Weasley family stepped back from all the bullshit that surrounds Pureblood society long before we were born Ginny." Ginny opened her mouth as if to argue but then shrugged at Daphne's words.

"We're happier for it anyway," Ginny said softly and Pansy sighed.

A melancholy settled over the group until Blaise stood up and stretched.

"How about we head out and get a drink?" Blaise suggested.

"Ugh I still feel like shit from yesterday Blaise, no thanks," Pansy sighed. Personally I agreed with her and the other girls agreed as well. Potion's were all well and good in the short term but a hangover potion only masked the pain of the hangover until it's a bearable struggle. Blaise shrugged and looked to Malfoy who glanced at me before sighing heavily.

"How about we just go play pool or something?" Malfoy suggested. At those words Blaise's eyes lit up and I wondered what sweet hell my brother had imagined.

"Orrrr, we could go in the pool. The water is charmed warm and the view at night is to kill for," Blaise suggested. Tracey sat up looking suddenly interested and I glanced at Ginny, who appeared to be internally bouncing up and down and I sighed with defeat.

"Okay," I sighed. Blaise whooped and dragged Draco from the room and the girls around me suddenly started moving to their own bags and pulling out various different swim suits to compare.

"Hermione wear the gold one!" Pansy called out over the clamour and I finally lifted my head from my bed to look at her.

"What gold one?" I asked as I sat up fully. Ginny chucked a piece of flimsy material and I felt heat rise into my cheeks as I eyed the gold swimsuit. "You're kidding. I can't let Malfoy see me in this!" I almost shrieked before thinking through my words. Movement froze around the room and my words came back to me and I groaned, flopping back onto the bed and covering my face with my hands.

"Spill it all. Now!" Ginny suddenly whispered into my ear. When I tried to cover my ears and roll over, the annoying red head intercepted my hands and then sat on my legs so I couldn't move.

"Ginnyyyy," I whined while the other three girls laughed.

"No. Spill the beans Gr-Zabini."

Conceding defeat with a sigh I opened my eyes and shoved Ginny from my lap.

"Malfoy and I are… betrothed," I said quietly, opting for the least troublesome truth. Ginny's mouth dropped open and for a beat there was silence.

"I knew it!" Pansy shouted from across the room.

"Knew what?" Ginny asked as she climbed off my lap and sat next to me, allowing me to get up.

"Draco was always a miserable sod when he was at school, but we'd known each other since we were 6 or 7 and I fancied myself having a crush on him for the majority of my formative years," Pansy said. This we all knew, but the admission still brought with it a wave of jealousy I hadn't known I could possess. "I thought for a while that Draco liked me back, until he came back in fifth year and told me we could never and would never be together and he was going to die a celibate old man because his betrothed had died during the first wizarding war. Of course, I told him that was bullshit, once a betrothed died that was it, the magic died with them, but he was insistent that his betrothal was different, wouldn't tell me why though."

"Apparently our betrothal was one that was seen to by Voldemort. He was trying to ensure he had followers in the next generation and Narcissa appealed to Lucius to have Malfoy and I matched together because we'd known each other since Malfoy was born," I answered. I saw it convenient to leave out the fact that the Parkinson's had been described as grabby but Pansy snorted.

"That and the fact that Narcissa has never liked my mother. Called her a grabby whore more than once if I recall," Pansy smirked. Her words shocked me and for a full two seconds I sat there stunned before I laughed out loud.

A loud banging interrupted my laughter and I moved to the door to open it a crack. Blaise was stood wearing green shorts with a towel slung round his shoulders with mischief in his eyes.

"Salazar's sake are you not ready yet?" Blaise grumbled.

"Does it look like I am?" I snarked back. Blaise rolled his eyes at me.

"Hurry up piccolina," Blaise ordered and I rolled my eyes in response before shutting the door on his nose and smirking at the colourful swear words he uttered.

When I turned Ginny was stood in front of me wearing a red two-piece swimsuit pulling a kaftan over her head. When she was done, she flicked her wand at me, and I looked down as I felt a cool breeze over my skin.

"This is so revealing Ginny," I grumbled as I looked down at the gold swimsuit I was now wearing. It was a halter neck with a deep plunging neckline that ended inches above my bellybutton, but what had Ginny gawking was the view of the phoenix tattoo underneath my breasts.

"When the fuck did you get that done?" Ginny asked. Knowing what she meant I shrugged.

"Australia. It's muggle though and hurt like a bitch," I responded, wincing at the remembered feel of the tattoo gun etching the phoenix's wings across my rib cage.

"Salazar Granger… What the fuck happened to the know it all bookworm?" Pansy smirked as she chucked me a black kaftan which I gratefully pulled over my head before shrugging.

"I learned to live a little in Australia that's all… And it's Zabini btw." Pansy shrugged at me.

"Old habits die hard," Pansy said as she slung a towel over her shoulders and flung the door wide.

Blaise hadn't been lying when he said that the view was to die for. He had led us out the back doors of the significantly smaller manor and at the base of the steps lay a pool, sunken into the hill the manor was placed on.

"Tada!" Blaise crowed with a wide sweeping gesture and I shook my head at him as he immediately challenged Malfoy to a race in the pool. Ginny with her deep competitiveness, also joined in the race and I laughed as Ginny who, who was probably fitter than both boys combined through the intense quidditch training she'd been doing all summer, beat them both and had them both sulking at the end of the pool as she splashed them.

"Don't be a spoil sport Blaise," Tracey snickered as she snuck up behind Blaise and attempted to soundly push him in. A squeal rent the air as Blaise dragged Tracey in with him after catching hold of her hand as he fell. I laughed as I chucked my towel down onto a chair that was by the pool and Daphne and Pansy sat down next to me.

I was able to relax by the pool for quite a while until gradually I was the last one sat there with Ginny calling at me to jump in. I'd managed to ignore them up until this point even though the water looked incredibly inviting. I was just slightly too nervous to bare myself to Blaise and Malfoy. I knew for certain Blaise would probably blow a gasket, even though he had no right to and Malfoy… was Malfoy. I still hadn't had the opportunity to categorise what the hell was happening with Malfoy and since meeting him again a few days ago and completely deciding against allowing him to pursue me, I'd felt inexplicably drawn to him, which annoyed me no end.

Lost in my thoughts I didn't hear my brother sneak up on me but I certainly felt the chair I was in drag towards to pool quickly.

"Blaise!" I shrieked, but it was too late, because not a second later, he had upended my chair and deposited me into the water. I came up for air spluttering and glowering as I searched for my brother, only to immediately be sent into a coughing fit as his cannonball into the pool sent a wave of water into my face. "Blaise you're a fucking twat!" I snarled when I was finally able to breathe.

Ginny and the girls howled with laughter while Malfoy regarded me with an amused smirk. Blaise only laughed as he quickly swam away from me.

"Lighten up lil sis, I told you the water was divine," Blaise smirked from a safe distance away. Rolling my eyes at him I hauled myself out of the pool and whipped my kaftan over my head before locating my wand to direct a drying charm at it. When I turned back around Blaise's eyes widened. "Salazar's balls, how many tattoos do you have Hermione?" Blaise spluttered as I slipped back into the water to hide.

"Two," I said shortly.

"When?" Blaise asked and I glared at him.

"Why? You can't lecture me, you'd be a hypocrite, and I don't have to answer to you," I almost snarled. Blaise held his hands up in the air apologetically.

"Woah, woah Hermione calm down. I'm just asking," Blaise said softly as he swam closer.

"Oh… Well… I got both tattoos done in Australia. Lydia insisted I do something to break the mould of Hermione Granger, bookworm extraordinaire. I got the magical one first and then the muggle one after," I explained quietly.

Blaise pondered my expression for a few seconds and then grinned.

"Welcome to the wonderful life of a rebel piccolina," Blaise smirked heavily, and I rolled my eyes, choosing instead to splash him liberally in the face.

It felt like hours later that we finally dragged ourselves from the magically heated pool back into the warmth of the manor, and immediately Blaise dragged Tracey off somewhere that none of us were willing to follow.

"Some things never change," Daphne and Draco said in unison before they paused, looked at each other and fell apart laughing. Ginny gawped at me in shock and I knew my own face was reflecting the same expression.

"What?" Pansy asked, her dark eyes glinting with mirth as she looked between us.

"I don't think I've ever seen Malfoy laugh before," Ginny stage whispered.

"Oi Weaslette, I heard that," Draco said softly, throwing a wink in my direction as he caught my eye. Pansy turned a sinful smirk in my direction as she acknowledged the wink and I rolled my eyes before walking off up the stairs in a huff. The group behind me laughed but followed me to the bedrooms.

"You do realise that he's going to do everything he can to charm you right?" Daphne whispered in my ear as Malfoy sauntered off down the corridor towards Blaise's rooms.

"Why though, he hated me," I sighed heavily as I pushed open my bedroom door.

"I don't think Draco ever truly hated you Hermione," Pansy said quietly, and I frowned at her.

"If memory serves me, he wished me dead in second year. If that's not hate I don't know what it," I countered but Pansy scoffed.

"Yeah, he did, but I found him fucking crying when you were petrified. He sniffled something about how his father was proud you'd been petrified, and Draco hated it. Then I caught him sneaking off to the hospital wing when no one was looking," Pansy said nonchalantly. Disbelieving I shook my head.

"Regardless of his tears, there's still a long way to go to undo the damage he did. He apologised and I'm trying to forgive him, but I'm not the sort to forget very easily," I groaned. Pansy rolled her eyes at me as she sat on the end of the bed and crossed her legs daintily.

"I'm not pretending to ever know the motivations of Draco Malfoy, he is an enigma to us all, but, with his Father dead both he and Narcissa have been given a chance to be the people they want to be and not the people Lucius demanded they were. Draco wants that chance, let him prove himself to you," Pansy spoke softly. Interestingly, I saw myself in the protective set of Pansy's shoulders and I realised that Pansy was like me when it came to her boys. There was nothing I wouldn't do to make sure Ron and Harry were happy. We'd already been to the end of the earth and back, and I'd do it all again just for them.

"I'll try," I answered softly.

***TZT***

I woke up with a start, chest heaving and the ghost of a scream on my face.

"Hermione?" Ginny whispered sleepily from beside me on the bed and I remembered where I was and cancelled my silencing spell with a casual flick of my fingers. I'd become so adept at casting the silencing spell and its counter charm that I could perform the spell without my wand.

"It's okay Gin, just a nightmare. Go back to sleep," I whispered.

"Okay… Na-night," Ginny breathed and then fell back into soft snores. Gently I climbed out of bed, wrapped myself in a dressing gown and padded out of the room quietly.

Bellatrix Lestrange was a frequent visitor of my nightmares, along with Greyback, after what he did to Lavender and of course Voldemort's happy grimace when he thought he'd killed Harry, but I thought I'd conquered the Nightmares recently. When a Nightmare started now, I knew it was my own subconscious trying to deal with the trauma and that had taken away some of the realness of the Nightmare, but this time I couldn't remember that it was in the past. I felt like I was very much trapped inside the dream, underneath Bellatrix's wand as she crucio'd me repeatedly.

Operating on autopilot I wandered the house until I found myself standing on the back patio looking out at the star speckled sky.

"Can't sleep?" A voice said from the shadows and I jumped about a mile and turned, my wand instantly in my hand as a non-verbal lumos lit the shadows. Under the glare of my wand's light I saw Malfoy sat a few feet away from the door wearing what looked like a pair of muggle jogging bottoms underneath a dressing gown that revealed a strip of his pale chest.

"Malfoy you frightened me half to death," I snapped as my heart rate slowed.

"You've fought worse than me Granger," Malfoy said softly as I lowered my wand. As I went to reply he raised a hand to cut me off. "I know, I know. It's Zabini, not Granger… old habits…" Malfoy said, waving away my concern and I rolled my eyes and turned away from him.

"Why are you out here?" I asked.

"Why are you out here?" Malfoy countered, and I gritted my teeth against the scathing retort I was going to fling.

"I asked first."

"And I'm a Slytherin, not a Gryffindor, I'm not going to be spilling my secrets without secrets in return," Malfoy said candidly, rolling my eyes I continued to face away from him.

"Well excuse me for thinking we were going to be adults about it," I said under my breath. There was silence for a few seconds then I heard Malfoy sigh.

"Haven't you had enough of being an adult?" Malfoy said softly from right behind me and I jumped, turning and shrieking as I landed a hard smack on his bare chest.

Malfoy didn't react as my hand struck him and for a second, I was frozen, trapped in his grey gaze as he looked down on me, my hand still resting on his chest, inches away from a criss-crossing network of scars. Then I remembered myself and removed my hand from his chest and took a liberal step back.

"Wait…" Malfoy said quickly as he caught my hand, stopping my movement and keeping me closer than I would have liked. Malfoy's eyes danced across my face, settling on my lips before he licked his own and softly bit into his full lower lip with perfect teeth. Shaking my head against what I knew he was about to do I stepped back as far as I was able, and Malfoy looked back up at me. "I'm out here, because I have Nightmares Granger… Nightmares about all the things that made me an adult far before I was ready," Malfoy murmured. His words were as quiet as a breath, just a hum on the cooling breeze that blew around us. Then his face changed, and he turned, striding away from me as he fisted his hands in his hair. "Nightmares, that won't fucking go away and it's not just that, it's all the things I can't bear to look at anymore-."

"Malfoy."

"-I could barely sit and eat at your Mother's dining room table without picturing V-Voldemort at the head of the table-."

"Malfoy."

"I can't even fucking look at a snake. I'm a Slytherin… who can't look at a snake-."

"Draco." The soft call of his given name froze Malfoy in his tracks and he turned to look at me in shock.

"You called me Draco," Malfoy breathed but I didn't acknowledge his realisation, instead I was bracing myself to be vulnerable towards the one person I could have counted on to parade my vulnerability from the rooftops.

"I get them too… The Nightmares. When I went to Australia I learned a lot about how to find peace with them, and I usually work through a routine of locking them away before I sleep. Come on I'll tell you how to do it, if you want," I said as I stretched out my hand.

Malfoy's eyes widened as he looked at my hand but then he took it and allowed me to lead him down onto the grass where I lay down and looked at the sky. Next to me I felt Malfoy lie down and I closed my eyes and began to breathe.

"I start by just breathing deeply. Then I picture the scene of my Nightmares… For me I have one of two depending on how I feel… Bathilda Bagshot's house or…erm…" I hesitated, remembering who I was talking to.

"Or the Manor… You can say it… It's the scene of all my Nightmares," Malfoy whispered beside me as he took my hand in his gently.

Clearing my throat I turned my thoughts inwards again.

"So once I have the scene I force myself to go in, and each room contains one of my nightmares," As I spoke I pictured myself entering Bathilda Bagshot's house in winter with Harry and tried to embrace the loneliness I'd felt that day.

In my mind's eye I visualised the bloodstained door and heard the phantom growls of the werewolf and steeling myself I pushed my way into a room. Holding my breath I counted to five as I surveyed the scene of Greyback mutilating Lavender's body and then I turned my back on the madness and shut the door firmly, locking it from the outside.

"What do you do in the rooms?" Malfoy breathed from next to me and I suddenly remembered I was supposed to be taking him through everything.

"I stand there and I watch the scene for a few seconds. I hold my breath on each inhale and exhale and then I turn, walk away and lock it from the outside."

"And when you've done them all?"

"I walk out of the scene and lock the house away and shove it deep down into my mind," I said calmly.

Malfoy was quiet for a few second and I could hear him trying to control his breathing.

"And does it keep the Nightmares away?" Malfoy asked.

"Most times, sometimes it doesn't, but it makes the Nightmare more bearable. I push my dream to work in the same way as the mind training," I answered. Malfoy's hand tightened around my own and I sighed before subjecting myself to each of my Nightmares, each getting steadily worse until Bellatrix's wild hair danced in front of my eyes. Malfoy heard my breath stutter and he squeezed my hand tightly.

"I'm sorry she hurt you," Malfoy whispered. At his words, my eyes snapped open and I looked across at the blonde who had caused me years of pain.

"You couldn't have stopped her," I breathed as his grey eyes met my own and held them unflinchingly.

"Even still… I'm sorry. That moment…" Malfoy took a shuddering breath and looked away before he sat up, hugging one of his knees to his chest with the hand that wasn't gripping my own.

"You don't have to say anything else. That was one of the few things that I didn't blame you for. You did enough by not identifying us right away. If you had Voldemort would have been called and Harry would have died then and there," I whispered as I mimicked his seating position.

"I'm glad he's dead," Malfoy said quietly, and I nodded as I squeezed his hand.

"Aren't we all?"

For a few more moments we sat in silence before Malfoy got to his feet and held out a hand for me to take to help me up.

"We should head back inside, I'm sure tomorrow is going to be busy for you," Malfoy said with a smirk on his face.

"I have no idea what Mother will have planned for me but I'm sure you're correct," I said with a heavy sigh, before I followed Malfoy inside.

28th August 1998

12:00

"Sweet circe, this room is to die for," Ginny breathed as we stepped into my new bedroom back at Zabini manor. Zia hadn't been able to stay long and so we had missed her departure, but she had done everything she had promised with my bedroom.

The layout was still the same, but gone was the monstrous pink, in its stead I had a soft and thick cream carpet and heavy cream drapes at the window, pale lilac walls and even the paintings had been replaced with more scenic views. My bed was still a four-poster, but it was larger and was instead made of white-washed wood. As I noticed that the bed was different, I realised that all my furniture had been updated and replaced with the same colour wood as my bed and I couldn't help but bite my lip when I thought about how much it had all cost.

"Are you okay?" Ginny asked quietly as she noticed my face.

"This is all just so much," I whispered, gesturing around me. Ginny nodded in understanding as she sat down on the ottoman at the end of my bed and patted next to her.

"I know you're struggling with this and if I'm honest, it's completely mind-blowing to me, but your mother thought she'd lost you and this room would have been a ghost to her. Now she's got you back she wants to show you how much she's missed you and how much she loves you and purebloods of the Zabini calibre show affection in many ways and one of those ways is by making sure that the object of that affection never has to want for anything," Ginny said wisely.

"How in the hell do you know that?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at the girl sat next to me.

"Easy. I asked Blaise," Ginny smirked. At that I rolled my eyes.

"And he told you all that?" I questioned. Blaise was a Slytherin through and through, I knew he wouldn't answer without something to gain.

"I may have had to give him a few stories about you to get him to open up," Ginny said mischievously, and my mouth popped open before I walloped her arm.

"You fucking traitor," I shouted as the red-head shot up out of her seat and ran into my sitting room.

"I did you a favour!" Ginny called back over her shoulder as she laughed gleefully.

"How? By spilling my secrets to my brother? How about I go tell Ron a few secrets about you and Harry?!" I shouted after her as we raced through the house towards the back gardens.

"You wouldn't dare Hermione! I didn't tell him anything that bad!" Ginny screeched. As she neared the steps she accioed a broom and leapt from the top step taking to the air, where she knew I wouldn't follow her.

Hovering twenty feet in the air above me when I made it outside, she cackled gleefully until I withdrew my wand and aimed it warningly. Ginny took off then with a yelp and I snickered as I stowed my wand back in the holster on my hip.

"What did She-Weasley do today?" Malfoy's baritone murmured from behind me and I turned quickly to look at him. Malfoy wore his signature smirk as he looked at me, his mirth showing in his eyes underneath stray strands of his hair and I felt my breath almost catch in my throat before I turned away to hide the blush that appeared on my skin.

"She's been giving Blaise ammunition," I groused, crossing my arms as Malfoy summoned a broom and shouldered it as he began to walk towards the steps. As he strolled ahead of me I found my eyes straying down the strong lines of his back as his muscles rippled under an old Slytherin tee-shirt and almost drifting to his bum, before I caught myself and returned my eyes to safe territory before he turned to face me and tutted.

"That's a dangerous thing to give Blaise. Don't worry I'll get her for you, and if you ever need ammunition against Blaise, I've got eighteen years' worth of that stored up here," Malfoy winked, tapping his forehead as he took off on his broom the way he did all those years ago when we were 11 and he'd threatened to throw Neville's Remembrall on the roof.

"Attractive little bugger isn't he," Blaise smirked from next to me. Internally I groaned before I turned my eyes on my twin brother.

"What do you mean Blaise?" I asked warily.

"Well Ginny told me how that was probably the singularly most attractive thing you ever saw Malfoy do," Blaise breathed into my ear and before I could respond he took off with a cackle.

AN: I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry for the delay on this chapter. I'm coming into the final year of my doctorate and my work-load has increased sooooo much so please bear with me, I haven't abandoned the story! Also I hope you enjoyed the reference to the first harry potter film. I remember thinking that move was so cool when the film first came out. Pleaseee review, I know I've left you hanging for far too long