Ungrateful
"What the hell was that?!" I screamed as we drove away from the gas station.
"Lauren, your language has been truly appalling today." My mother fumbled in her purse until she found a cigarette.
"My language is the least of our problems! You can't be driving if you've been drinking and taking your meds. You can't be out in public rubbing your hands on high school kids. And you definitely shouldn't be wasting your money on homecoming crap!" A stray button had fallen in the center console that I picked up and flung out the open window.
"I did this for you! It was supposed to be a surprise! After all I've done I don't understand how you can be so ungrateful. And without a housekeeper, Lauren! I've found time to support you without any help!"
"No one asked you to do this. And what was your plan? To just run around town and hand out buttons at every store?"
"Of course! That's what I did back in Fairfield, it was tradition every year."
"That was 20 years ago. And you are in no shape to be running around town."
"What on earth is that supposed to mean?" Ashley sat up straighter in her seat and flicked ash from her cigarette out the window.
I pulled into the driveway and parked the car. I grabbed the plastic bag of items that Ace had said spilled in the shop and shoved it in her face. "You're going to tell me you didn't double up on your medication and have wine at lunch today?"
Her face grew indignant. "Are you suggesting I'm misusing my medication?"
"Are you suggesting that we're still pretending you aren't?" I climbed out of the car and stomped toward the house and I could hear her unsteady footsteps behind me.
"Don't you walk away from me. You are a disrespectful little bitch!" She screamed as she followed me inside.
Kendall and Olivia came bombing down the stairs at our entrance and then immediately retreated when they heard the screaming.
I shot past them and moved into the kitchen with my mother hot on my heels. I whipped around. "Keep your voice down and don't scream in front of the girls."
"You keep your voice down! And I better get an apology! I went out of my way to surprise you with buttons for you to pass out and you practically spit in my face! And to behave like that in front of Nick, it was truly humiliating!" My mother didn't alter her volume and I could hear the girls scurry upstairs to avoid the fighting.
"Mom! You are taking the homecoming stuff way too seriously. It's just a dance. You need to stop channeling all of your energy into this dumb stuff and start taking better care of yourself. You can't be driving around like that!"
"Just a dance? We spent over a thousand dollars on your dresses for this season. Fall gown for homecoming, spring gown for prom and the club gala! And now it's just a dance?!"
"No one asked you to do that!" I thought back to a few months ago when my mother had called a dressmaker from Portland to come out to custom design ball gowns for both of us. Our Country Club has a black tie charity gala every year and my mother was obsessed with having the best dress each year. In honor of my senior year, she decided to go all out and get custom dresses designed for each of us. As generous as it was, it wasn't like I had much choice in the matter or the whole thing was my idea...I would have been fine going to Jordan Marsh like everyone else.
"If you continue to be ungrateful this is going to be a very long year for you." My mother glared at me as she stomped over to the bar cart in the living room. I heard the clink of ice cubes dropping into a glass and I stomped after her.
"You can't possibly think you need a drink right now…" I saw her pouring vodka over the ice cubes.
"Don't you dare try to shame me for having a drink, especially not with the way you're pushing me right now."
Any attempts to stop her would be futile. I took a deep breath and walked back toward the kitchen. I noticed the girls sitting at the top of the stairs and I cringed knowing they had a great view of me and Ashley's fight. I shot Kendall a look and she immediately tapped Olivia and they both ran into their rooms.
It seemed like days ago, but it was really only about an hour since Nick came to pick me up. He has a history project due tomorrow and of course he hadn't started a thing. We were heading to his house to work on it when we saw my mother fall at the gas station while we were stopped at the light. He immediately burst into laughter when he saw her fall and was endlessly annoyed that I made him pull into the station to check on her. His annoyance turned to horror when he saw her behavior...I don't know how I was going to explain all that away.
I sighed. I knew I couldn't leave Nick hanging on the project, but I also couldn't leave my sisters alone with my mother when she was so wound up. I paced around the kitchen trying to figure out my next move.
"Good you're home!" I heard Ashley exclaim from the living room. "You need to talk to your daughter, she's out of control!"
I scoffed. My father had just walked in the door and would be in no shape to contribute any parenting skills after a long day at the office.
"Are you drinking already? Jesus Christ Ashley I thought we'd talked about this…" A wave of relief washed over me...this was the closest my father had come to addressing the obvious problems in our home.
"If you saw the way that ungrateful piece of trash behaved you'd understand why."
"Rory! Come out here!" My father did his best big bad wolf impression, raising his voice in a hollow attempt to convey he meant business.
I strutted into the living room and rested my hand on my hip.
"Apologize to your mother for being ungrateful."
I coughed back a laugh. "Is that really the best you can come up with?"
My father glared at me and my mother grew more irritated. She walked up to me, glass in hand and started pushing her finger in my face.
"You tell him...you tell him that you threw a fit over buttons! I'm being supportive, Luke! She doesn't even care about homecoming!" Her words slurred and she was growing agitated.
My father looked at her and looked back at me. I crossed my arms over my chest. "I have to go to Nicks, can you make sure the girls get dinner?"
"I'm their mother Lauren. I know they need to eat! Jesus Christ you help out a couple of mornings and you think you're a goddamn parent."
"You aren't going anywhere until you apologize." My father said with a little more oomph than the last time.
"I'm sorry I wasn't more grateful for the buttons." I said curtly and turned toward the phone to let Nick know I was on my way.
"See? Feel better? Can we all calm down and move on with our nights?" My father acted like my bullshit apology meant something and looked quite satisfied with himself. My mother just glared at me as I picked up the phone and called Nick and bolted out of the house as quickly as I could.
I collapsed into my car and immediately lit a cigarette. I knew Nick would complain about the smell, but that was the least of my worries at this moment. I could already tell by his tone of voice on the phone that he was still pretty wigged out by Ashley's behavior.
The light at the end of Castle View Road turned yellow and I slowed to a stop next to the gas station. My mind flashed back to pulling to a stop here an hour or so before and seeing Ashley stumble around the parking lot. For the first time since I left, I thought of Ace and Eyeball...their faces when they handed me that crumpled plastic bag with my mothers spilled prescription bottles...that stupid goddamn button pinned to Ace Merrill's shirt...I dont think i'd ever spoken a word to either of them and it just happened to be their lucky day to have a run in with Ashley Scanlon. They had at least been compassionate whereas Nick had just looked horrified. The light turned green and I made my way over to Castlemere, the neighborhood on the other side of town where Nick lived.
I was relieved when I pulled up and saw only Nick's car outside. His parents were great, but his mother had a tendency to ramble on and trap you in that kitchen for hours and his father tended to loudly pace outside Nick's door as a reminder we weren't alone. Nick's older sister had gotten pregnant in high school and had to marry early and his father was none too keen on anything happening that might have messed up Nick's football future.
I stepped out of the car and entered the house without knocking. Despite its flaws, Nick's house had really become a second home for me. It was warm and comfortable and I was always made to feel welcome. Having heard the door, Nick emerged from his bedroom and walked over to me. "Is everything ok?"
"Yeah...she wasn't feeling well, she's home now, sorry I took forever getting over here." I smiled weakly and reached for my bag to get started on Nick's project.
Nick's lip twitched as if he was going to say more, but I think he knew we had to pull this poster out with limited time so decided to keep his mouth shut. The shooting of archduke Franz Ferdinand wasn't the most thrilling of conversations, but I preferred it to any reference to what had happened earlier. I tried to act as normal as possible and quizzed him on his talking points as he helped me glue pictures to the timeline of events that kicked off World War I.
"So are you just going to ignore how embarrassing that was?" I hadn't noticed Nick had stopped gluing and was leaning back in his chair.
"What do you mean?" I tried to play dumb and kept working on the poster.
"Jesus Christ Rory, your mother practically shoved her tits in my face today. What the hell is going on with her?" He looked like he was standing downwind from a wastewater plant, a disgusted expression painted his face. With an approach like that, it was pretty obvious that he wasn't going to want to take a super deep dive into what things were really like in my house, he just wanted me to offer up an explanation to make him feel less uncomfortable.
I sighed. "I don't know, I think she went to the club for lunch and probably hit the pinot too hard, which she shouldn't do with the medication she's on for headaches." The lies spewed so easily from my mouth.
"That shit's embarrassing Ror, your dad needs to get a leash on her." He shook his head. Although correct in some capacity that my father should be taking this more seriously, his focus on how this whole situation affected him and how it made him feel without the slightest regard for me was starting to piss me off. All I needed was a "I'm sure that's really hard" or even a hug if he didn't know what to say. Any idiot could see that this was only the tip of the iceberg and my idiot just happened to be focusing on the portion of the iceberg that made him cold.
"Yeah, tell me about it. Can we get this done?" I turned my attention back to the poster.
Nick grinned. "Why so eager to get it done?" He stood up and walked behind my chair and started kissing the back of my neck and ran his hands down my sides. I pushed him off, "Come on, you have a ton of work to do this week and you need to get a solid grade on this. You can slide once the season is done, but you know first term grades are going to impact your scholarship options."
"But I'm stressed and this is a lot of work and you're always so good at relaxing me…" He started rubbing my shoulders. I had no interest in helping Nick "relax" right now, but I knew it would make the questions about Ashley and the abject horror of his brief run in with her dissipate for a while. I sighed and turned up at him. "You're lucky I hate World War I and need a break from this shit." He smiled and in one motion pulled the chair out and picked me up over his shoulder and into his bedroom.
He playfully threw me down on the bed and climbed on top of me. His hands moved immediately to my waist and he started fumbling with the button closure on my pants. I tried to focus on his muscles, his strong frame, his gorgeous eyes...and not the growing anger I felt at his selfish reactions to the day's events. I knew we only had about another half hour or so until his parents would be home so I met his hands and helped him undo the button on my jeans. He smiled and I figured I might as well enjoy the distractions from my problems that were presented to me. My pants slid off and I decided that since fun moments had been so hard to come by these last few weeks I might as well take advantage of this time with Nick where he had nothing to complain about.