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Ch. 8: The Need for Remembrance

In the milky glow of the early morning light, Tigerclaw stalked through the underbrush, his jaws occasionally parting to detect the promise of prey. As the breeze went between his ears, his tail twitch as he finally caught scent of a mouse. It was not too far ahead. He spotted the fleck of brown in the distance with its back turned to him. Bunching his muscles tightly, he shot forward, practically gliding on the forest floor. He almost as quickly drifted to a halt as a flash of pale ginger overtook the creature from the side.

He stopped in his skid marks as his amber eyes met golden orbs. The sight suddenly thrusted back into the morning day before.

…

Tigerclaw tried to mentally organize the patrols for the rest of that day. He wanted to try and take his mind off Fireshade's -and by extension, Graystripe's- departure. That was when he spotted Ravenfeather basking in the clearing and watching Frostfur's kits play outside the nursery.

He mentally cursed the black warrior for wasting time when he recalled he hadn't assigned the younger cat any duties yet; getting Fireshade prepared for his mission had interrupted his daily planning. Come to think of it, a moment after he had stalked away from Yellowfang's den, Ravenfeather had emerged. Yet there hadn't been a single hair out of place on his sleek pelt.

Now Tigerclaw was irritably curious. Now he had to speak to his old pupil.

"Ravenfeather," he meowed tersely as he came up to the young warrior.

Ravenfeather slowly stood at attention. He blinked as he casually stretched and yawned."You finally have need of me?" He asked nonchalantly.

The ThunderClan deputy's brow creased, perturbed by his former underling's irreverent attitude. He used to fear me! The tabby shook his head at the spurt of leftover venom-that was the exact reason Ravenfeather had him by the tail now. "In a moment," Tigerclaw meowed. "Firstly, I want to know why you were in Yellowfang's den this morning." His eyes looked the black cat up and down. "You seem fine to me." He couldn't help the snarl in his voice.

"That I am," Ravenfeather said coolly, pretending not to notice. "I was visiting her to speak about the possibility becoming her pupil.

Genuine surprise widened the tabby's eyes, "Really?" He blinked with uncertainty of his own emotions. "How long have you been considering this?"

The smaller tom shrugged. "It's always been rolling around in the back of my mind since I was apprenticed."

"Why did you not bring it up to any cat before now?"

Green eyes narrowed. "For some reason, I didn't feel like you'd appreciate the sentiment, regardless of whether you were first cat I brought it up to or not." Ravenfeather was almost beginning to hiss.

Tigerclaw guiltily nodded, having to concede to that point. He would have been furious that even a couple of minutes of his time had been wasted on Ravenpaw if he was just gonna become an herb-picker. As things stood now, having another medicine cat be apprenticed so soon after Spottedleaf's death would undoubtedly raise ThunderClan's spirits.

"There are definitely many ways to serve your Clan," he meowed suddenly. "The best of luck to you on whatever path you choose."

The tilt of Ravenfeather's head spoke of his shock that he hadn't received a biting retort. The twitching white tip of his tail portrayed satisfaction.

Tigerclaw denied his impulse to spit. Don't mistake this for you "beating" me, kit! Not that they were fighting just then. Outwardly, he nonchalantly assigned Ravenfeather to Runningwind's hunting party. When the black warrior went to it, the scarred tabby turned to go about his own business. Goldenflower was waiting for him; he nearly crashed into her.

"Sorry!" She quickly apologized as the startled deputy jumped back.

"It's okay…" Tigerclaw meowed, trying to make his fur flat again. His face felt hot with embarrassment.

The pale ginger cat's front paws kneaded the ground as she spoke. "I saw you speaking to Ravenfeather. I thought I'd get my assignment as well." Her voice seemed unusually quiet though she was making eye-contact.

"Right…"

"That was good of you," she blurted out suddenly. "To support Ravenfeather's choice, I mean!"

Tigerclaw's ears twitched as he tried to shake off the jarring turn of this conversation. Were his Clanmates so used to him being obtuse? "So long as each cat serve's the Clan, it's not my business how they do it," he shrugged.

Goldenflower gave a slight purr. "Lionheart would have thought the same, I imagine." Her eyes suddenly clouded and her voice became weighted. "I think he'd be proud to see you now." Her tail drooped in the dust.

The dark warrior was taken aback by the she-cat's fresh wave of grief for the fallen deputy. It clicked as he remembered something: Lionheart was Goldenflower's brother. Guilt clawed at his throat as he faced down the truth again. The golden tom might have still been here if it wasn't for him. What could he do to make it up her now?

"Will you join my hunting party?" Tigerclaw asked, knowing he could offer nothing else but his presence. His chest felt oddly lighter in that moment.

The beautiful she-cat perked up. "Yes," she meowed. "I'd like that."

Comfortable silence followed as they padded off side by side and hunted together.

And agreed to do the same the next morning.

…

The deputy snapped out of reminiscent haze, hoping he hadn't been still for too long. Tigerclaw must have only shorted out for a few seconds. Goldenflower was only looking at him a bit awkwardly, but not with concern. The rodent was firmly clenched in the she-cat's jaws, though her eyes seemed apologetic.

Goldenflower set the mouse down to speak. "Sorry," she meowed coyly. "Did I steal your catch?"

"No," Tigerclaw shook his head, caught off-guard by the heat flaring underneath his pelt. Still, he somehow managed to give away nothing but a smooth edge. "I'll find another."

Goldenflower gave a grateful and amused purr before dashing off, leaving the deputy to try and cope with the skittering feeling in his chest.

He'd almost forgotten that he'd had an…interest in her for the longest time. StarClan, that felt so long ago. Yesterday felt so long ago. Should he have even been concerned with having a mate? Things had changed drastically from just a few seasons ago; this ominous business with Fireshade had all but consumed his world, yet he strangely didn't hate it. It had given him a perspective he needed if nothing else.

Pushing the dark thoughts, back took in his surroundings once more. It occurred to him that the sun had moved a mouse length or two in the sky before he had found the mouse. That was too long.

Leaf-bare is inching ever closer.

"Fireshade, you'd better come back," he growled to himself. Even if he was ultimately still confused about whether the ginger tom would turn out a friend or foe, and which outcome he was more likely to bring, the deputy would feel more at ease with another good hunter around. Though he would still likely be just the north side of vaguely determined to churn up some unknowable fate.

Tigerclaw was suddenly pulled into a having a merciless thought. Between Fireshade, Goldenflower, and the rest of the Clan, who needed him more? If he could afford to cast aside any of them, who would he need more?

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