Sorry it took so long! Hope you like it and as always please review!
"You look fine." He told her as they walked to the front door.
Olivia was fussing over the casual summer dress that she was now slightly regretting having worn to Eli's birthday party.
"It's going to be alright." Trevor said, trying to sooth her fears as he put his hand in hers and they locked fingers.
He knew Olivia and Elliot had had a rough case over the past couple of weeks, causing them to both take a few days off after it was done.
"I know…" She whispered, even though she didn't believe her words.
This man had become her closest friend over the past few months and after a few weeks, they'd decided to tell everyone they were dating… even though that wasn't entirely true. It just made things easier for both of them.
No more sneaking around, trying not to get caught. Trevor got to brag to his office that he was bedding Olivia Benson, in a respectful way and with her permission of course. And Olivia got to pretend like she was over Elliot, hoping that this fake relationship would actually help her move on and get over her feelings for him.
"Hi! Come on in!" Kathy greeted them both as she waved them inside. Elliot had warned her ahead of time that Olivia was bringing over the current man in her life, so Kathy wasn't that surprised to see Trevor.
They entered the house and followed Kathy into the kitchen.
Olivia added her present to the stack on the end of the dining room table as Trevor immediately grabbed a plate and went for the chips and dip.
She rolled his eyes at him with a small smile, making Kathy chuckle.
"Elliot's outside at the grill and most everyone is out there mingling if you want to join them." The blonde explained, and Olivia took that as her cue to head outside.
Trevor followed behind her with his plate.
There were about nine adults outside including Elliot and four other children of various ages playing with Eli on his jungle gym swing set that, no doubt, Elliot had put together himself years ago for one of his other children and updated it when he knew Kathy was pregnant with Eli.
"Livia!" She heard as soon as she made it onto the patio.
The little boy ran up to her and threw himself into her legs. Naturally, she reached down to pick him up and hoist him onto her right hip.
"Hey little man." She said with a big smile.
Eli giggled and then snuggled his head into her shoulder as if he was bashful all of the sudden. Olivia's heart swelled. She'd seen him more here and there over the past few months and he had continued to grow fonder of her each and ever time. Of course, that might have something to do with her keeping candy in her desk though…
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Elliot at the grill watching her with an expression she couldn't quite read, which was unusual for them. He had a small smile on his face, but he looked sad at the same time.
Then there was Trevor standing to her left, watching her closely for any sign or signal that she needed him to cause a scene or distract the group of adults who'd all turned to see who Eli had run up to. Olivia had talked to Trevor ahead of time, he knew that going to Elliot's house would be hard for her and he also knew that she was purely doing this for Eli.
The last thing Trevor wanted was for Olivia to breakdown in front of everyone. By now, he knew the brunette had her fair share of demons, more than he'd hopefully ever have, and he was willing to support her any way he could.
After losing a child, even one that's not biological, sometimes it was all she could think about. Especially when holding someone else's child.
But Olivia gave Trevor a small smile as she used her left hand to rub Eli's back.
"I hear it's your birthday." She whispered to him.
Eli gave her a small nod as he reached up and latched his arms around her neck.
"I three." He said in a hushed whisper that made both her and Trevor grin.
This was one of the rare occasions that a child's birthday actually landed on a Saturday, causing it to be on the same day as his actual birthday party.
"You are." Olivia agreed lightly as she hugged him closer to her body.
The little boy stared at Trevor with wide eyes.
"Who dat?" He asked in a hushed whisper while still clinging to Olivia, but Trevor still heard him.
"I'm Trevor." The attorney said and held out his hand for Eli to shake, but the boy didn't take it. Instead, he looked to Olivia in question and she couldn't help but wonder if Eli wasn't shaking his hand because he was shy or if it was because of some stranger-danger tactics Elliot and Kathy had instilled in him.
"It's okay. He's my friend. Trevor works with me and daddy." She said, trying to explain this strange man to Eli but she'd heard the words as soon as they'd left her mouth and it nearly killed her. 'Me and daddy' she'd said, as if she was talking to a child that she shared with Elliot. Dear god, today was going to be the death of her.
"He po'lice?" Eli asked curiously.
Olivia shook her head.
"No, he's not police, but he works at the court house with the judge and helps other people when they need it…" She tried to explain, not quite sure how to tell a child what Trevor does for a living.
Eli just nodded and Olivia wasn't honestly sure how much he understood.
"I love you, sweet boy." She whispered to him before planting a kiss in his hair and walking closer to the group of children that were various ages and waiting for him to return to their game of whatever they were playing. It was the easiest 'I love you' that she'd ever said.
Eli seemed to get the idea that she was about to put him down to go play, so he released her neck and held out his legs as she lowered his little body to the ground.
"You stayin' Livia?" He asked gently, looking at her hesitantly.
"I am for a little while, yes." She replied as her heart nearly broke.
Eli gave her a small smile before running off to his friends, yelling with glee as they began to continue their game of what she gathered might be some newer version of cowboys and Indians.
Clearly, he was used to her and Elliot running of to work a case or being called to the hospital. Today though, that wouldn't happen. Fin and Munch were catching. Olivia and Elliot had the weekend off. Elliot had planned it that way obviously because of Eli's birthday ahead of time but this past case would have caused them to take the weekend off anyways, along with the couple of days they'd already taken because of it.
"He's cute as fuck." Trevor whispered behind her and Olivia shot a harsh glance at him.
"Language." She said sternly. He gave her a thin smile, he'd known no one could hear him and she knew it too.
Olivia finally took a minute to look around at everyone, and she was glad to see that the women had similar attire to hers.
"This is Olivia Benson and Trevor…. Um…." Olivia heard Kathy say as she looked to the couple for help with what Trevor's last name was.
"Langan." Trevor and Olivia both said in union.
Kathy smiled and repeated her statement, adding Trevor's last name as she introduced them to the group of adults that were hanging out on the patio watching the children play. Olivia gave them a kind smile as everyone said hello and briefly introduced themselves. Kathy mentioned that Olivia was Elliot's partner and that Trevor was an attorney they worked with from time to time.
The blonde explained that beverages, alcoholic and non-alcoholic were in the big blue cooler by the sliding glass door, then excused herself to get the salad ready in the kitchen.
Olivia wanted a beer. She wanted one very badly, but she wasn't going to partake in any drinking today. At least not here, so she retrieved herself a coke and got a sprite for Trevor, deciding for him that he wasn't having any alcoholic beverages either.
While he sat down and started chatting with the few men there, Olivia made her way over to Elliot.
"Nice party." She commented as she popped open her coke and took a swig.
"Nice dress." He replied, stifling a laugh.
She rolled her eyes at him.
"I can get pretty, and all dolled up when I want to." She replied, giving him an annoyed look.
"Oh, I know." He answered maybe too quickly.
Then they had an awkward moment of silence as neither of them knew how to navigate their current relationship of having feelings for each other but severely ignoring them and trying to continue on with their lives.
"How you doing?" Elliot asked, changing the subject as he maneuvered his spatula to flip the burgers.
"I should be asking you that too…" Olivia wondered out loud as she cocked her head to the side and gave him a thoughtful look.
Elliot gave her an unimpressed glance and went back to tending to the grill.
"Nothing happened. I'm fine." He told her. It wasn't harsh or mean, it was just honest, and he refused to look at her.
They'd been distancing themselves from each other lately and while it hurt like hell, it was what they needed.
She glanced at him with intense eyes as she took another sip of coke.
"I don't wanna talk about it…" He mumbled quietly
Olivia nodded. She understood.
This was how their new relationship worked. They didn't get personal and put emotions and feelings in the mix. Coming to Eli's party was crossing a personal boundary in itself but she'd brought her 'boyfriend' for back up and she wasn't about to disappoint that boy two years in a row by not showing up.
However, Olivia was still torn. She wanted to be there for her partner, she needed to support him just as he had her so many times before.
…
FLASHBACK TO LAST WEEK
Contrary to Elliot being hurt, physically and mentally, Olivia also took a personal hit from this case, but it was getting to the point of where she was wondering which cases wouldn't hit home.
Camille waited fourteen years after she was raped to get back at her rapists. She'd been raped at summer camp by three men that were supposed to protect her and be her friends. One night, they'd invited her into the woods at the bonfire, held her down, and took turns as the forced themselves inside her.
"I'm a nobody. Who are you? Are you a nobody too?" She'd said to the counselor who'd found her in shock that summer, but she'd denied anything had happened to her. She'd kept it a secret and buried it deep down, letting it consume her whole fourteen years later.
They'd caught Camille in the act when she'd mailed herself in a box to the third person that was supposed to be branded and molested by her with objects after she'd shoved a needle in their neck and drugged them.
Olivia and Elliot sat on the bed as they waited what felt like hours for her to break out of the box and make her move.
Elliot went to sit in the living room to pose as the man who was supposed to be the third victim and unfortunately, Camille had gotten the upper hand before Elliot could make his move.
He was supposed to be able to see her in a mirror they'd positioned appropriately in the living room but once he took his place, he realized the mirror had been moved, probably by the man he was impersonating who was also a neat freak.
Elliot realized that he'd have to guess when she was right behind him and in the right position so that he could grab her, then Olivia was supposed to run in but Elliot miscalculated.
Camille came around his left side instead of his right and the needle was in him before he could even blink, but Elliot was much bigger than her and he ripped the needle out, only getting half the dose of whatever she was trying to give him.
However, the drug took its toll and Elliot quickly sunk to the floor as he tried to fight her off. Camille grabbed him through his pants, hoping to hurt him as she squeezed tightly and then reached for his belt. She batted his hands away as she unbuckled it.
"You're not him but you're still a man!" Camille yelled at him, stating that she was still going to sodomize and brand him with the coat hanger even though he wasn't the one that she'd been originally going for.
"L-Liv!" Elliot tried to yell, knowing he couldn't fight her off on his own now due to the drugs. "O-livia-a! H-helppp"
Seconds later she came busting through the door, throwing Camille off of him and cuffing her quickly. Olivia grabbed her radio and called in that there was an officer down, and called for transportation for the suspect.
"Elliot…" She called to him as he lay on the floor in front of her.
"D-don't let h-her sodosoizeee" He slurred as he reached for her. Olivia relented, knowing he was scared. She held his hands as he continued to be fearful, not fully understanding that he was not in danger anymore. Elliot had never had the threat of sexual assault before and he wasn't in his right mind now.
"She's cuffed, El." Olivia cooed. "She's not going to touch you. I won't let her." She promised him, squeezing his hand tightly.
"O-Olivia…" He called for her again, becoming more delirious and Olivia picked up her radio to ask for the whereabouts of the ambulance while also keeping an eye on Camille who seemed to be having a breakdown of her own across the room where Olivia had cuffed her to a side table.
"I'm here." She promised him as officers burst through the door. Back up had arrived and she moved back slightly, giving them room but continued to hold his hand until he finally succumbed to the drugs, falling unconscious.
She followed him to the hospital and waited until the doctors could tell her everything was okay before she'd even move from the hospital waiting room.
They'd examined Elliot while he was unconscious, simply because it was possibly a severe case with no one knowing exactly what Elliot was given. Later, they learned that it'd just been something to make him semi-unconscious. Camille wanted her third victim to be weak enough to not be able to fight back but coherent enough to feel the pain, just as she'd done with the first two.
Elliot would have some bruising on his penis and on the side of one of his testicles due to how rough Camille had been, but other than that, he was deemed okay.
Hours later when he was released, Olivia dropped him off at home per his request. They didn't talk about it, also per his request.
"This is new for you." She said softly as she pulled up to his home, attempting to talk to him.
"I've been attacked by perps before. I'll be fine." He told her as he opened his door and slowly exited their squad car.
"You've never been threatened with sexual assault before…" She whispered, trying to look at him. Technically, he had been assaulted but she wasn't going to go there, not now.
"Thanks for the ride." He'd told her as he slammed the door, completely ignoring her comment.
Olivia didn't know what he'd told Kathy, if anything and she decided not to ask.
Elliot had the rest of the day off and came in the next morning acting like everything was fine and dandy. A couple of times, she caught him wincing when he sat down though.
Then Olivia decided to visit Camille in jail, believing that she could get the young woman to talk, that all Camille needed was to open up and tell her story. Olivia tried to not harbor hard feelings towards the woman because of what she had done to Elliot, but it was rather difficult.
After all, healing begins when someone bears witness.
So, Olivia had visited her in jail and sat down, giving the young woman her full attention, only to hear Camille's story and find out that it'd taken her fourteen years to retaliate because she'd accidentally ran into her biological daughter that she'd given away because she couldn't bear to raise her child knowing the father was one of her rapists.
The brunette detective wanted to tell her victim/perpetrator that she was also the child of a rapist, and that her daughter would understand being given up because Olivia would have understood if her mother had given her up. In fact, at times, she'd even wished for it. But Olivia decided against it, she wasn't up to mixing work and personal stuff right now, at least not anymore than it was already.
"This child is proof she was raped!" Olivia had argued with the ADA back at the precinct. They could find the girl, do the DNA test, and collar these men for rape, or at least the one who is the biological father.
"Statute of limitations is up." The ADA had replied calmly. "I've gotta do my job and go after Camille."
"So, you're gonna prosecute a woman whose PTSD was triggered by seeing her rape baby instead of going after her rapists?!" Olivia threw back, half yelling.
"I have no choice, I have her confession on the prison video footage from when you went to interview her!" The strawberry blonde shot back.
Olivia gave her a deathly glare and Elliot stood behind her for reinforcement.
"What? Your percentage rate too fucking precious to you?" She shot at the ADA and Cragen, who was standing in the corner, raised his eyebrows at her comment.
"Rape baby or not, there's nothing I can do so it doesn't matter." The ADA replied and then stormed out of the room, giving Olivia the eerie feeling that the woman might not fully believe Camille was raped, and if she did believe it, she didn't seem to care much.
"Son-of-a-" Olivia was cut off by Elliot wrapping his arm around her waist, stopping her from going after their ADA and slightly pulling her to the side as he locked eyes with Cragen.
"Take her for some air." Cragen nodded at Elliot and Olivia huffed as she yanked away from Elliot and made her way to the stairs. There's no way she'd be allowed to go out the same doors as the ADA, so the only other option for air was the roof.
Olivia knew Elliot was following her and that was fine. She was too pissed to even care at the moment.
Opening the door to the roof, the brunette welcomed the nice breeze as she stepped out onto the top of the building and took a deep breath.
"I'm fine." She told Elliot as he stepped out behind her. "But, how are you?" She asked, turning around to face him, knowing he'd been through a scare of being threatened with sexual assault.
"You know, people handle babies created from rape in different ways, Liv." He told her, clearly ignoring her question. "Our new ADA doesn't know your story… she doesn't understand what she just said to you and the impact it had…" Elliot tried to sooth her.
"It doesn't matter." Olivia said, looking at him sharply. "She won't know, no one is going to tell her. Am I clear?" She asked sternly.
"Yes." Elliot nodded, confirming that his loyalty to her secrets still remained.
"Good." She said simply, then opened the door to the stairwell and began her decent back to the precinct, deciding that she'd had enough air.
Her partner shook his head and waited a few seconds before following her. He was also dreading the walk back down the stairs nearly just as much as he'd dreaded climbing up them with the private areas bruised.
…
PRESENT DAY
"I'm not buying what you're selling, you know…" Elliot said lightly as he added the hot dogs to the grill.
"What?" She asked him questionably.
Elliot pointed his spatula towards Trevor.
"Lover boy…" He said before turning back to grab his beer and take a swig with his free hand.
Olivia rolled her eyes and glanced at Trevor. He looked good in his nice pants and polo shirt.
"He's a good guy. Don't be an ass." Olivia told her partner. She knew it'd be difficult to convince Elliot that she had a real thing going with Trevor, but she was hoping that since he'd heard them fucking a few months ago, he'd eventually get on board with the idea.
Elliot only smiled at her, not really believing a word that she was saying but in Elliot's defense, he only knew the defense attorney side of Trevor.
"You're being an ass." She told him, reminding him that she'd clearly just asked him not to.
Elliot shrugged.
"Leave him alone…. I mean it." Olivia said sternly, her eyes darkening. She was all the sudden becoming protective of Trevor. She really did care for him… just not the way girlfriends and boyfriends do. Still, she thought they were passing it off pretty well.
Elliot smiled at her again with a cocky grin, it finally pushed her over the edge with anger.
"You wanna know what I love about him?" Olivia asked, throwing him off his kilter. She'd used the 'L' word, a word she forbid him from using with her and she wouldn't use it with him either, but she'd just used it in a sentence about Trevor. Elliot's smile faded quickly.
"I love that after we have sex, he can stay for as long as he wants and as long as I want him to because he's not married, and we don't have to hide our relationship or feelings."
Elliot swallowed hard. She'd hit him where it hurt.
This wasn't fair. She knew it wasn't fair. Olivia knew she could've asked Elliot to leave Kathy and he probably would have. She knew she could have easily told him not to go back to Kathy after she'd gotten pregnant with Eli, but Olivia wasn't having it and she'd pushed him back into the blonde's arms.
And now here they were at Eli's third birthday party.
Elliot looked extremely sad all of the sudden. He almost wanted to ask her if she too, ever wondered what Eli would have looked like with dark brown hair and hazel eyes, but he knew that was taking it a bit too far. He didn't want to hurt her like that. Still, he couldn't help but think if he'd just knocked her up instead of Kathy, it'd be a very different scene happening right now.
"Fuck you." He whispered instead as he took another swig of his beer and set it down to turn his attention back to the grill.
He could feel her staring at the back of his head. She opened her mouth but was cut off before she could even speak.
"Babe," Trevor said, using the pet name that she'd asked him to, "Mrs. Stabler is asking for you inside… something about help with the salad…" He said, slightly shrugging at her in an equal amount of confusion, wondering what Olivia could possible do to help make a salad that Kathy couldn't' do herself.
"I… yeah, okay…" Olivia said as she began to slowly head towards the sliding glass door.
"Elliot, is there anything I can help you with?" Trevor offered politely, giving Elliot a small smile. As far as Elliot knew, Trevor was completely clueless as to what had happened between him and Olivia aside from some light flirting.
"Nah… Everything's under control. Why don't you grab up a beer and make yourself comfortable?" Elliot offed lightly with a small smile, causing Olivia to turn around just as she was opening the door and shoot Trevor a glare.
Both men saw the look and she held their gaze for a few seconds before entering the house.
"I um… I don't think I'm allowed too…" Trevor said hesitantly, looking back towards Elliot and giving him an apologetic look.
Elliot shrugged and gave the man a knowing look as his moved the hot dogs around on the grill.
"You think that's bad… try working with her…" Elliot said lowly and Trevor chuckled lightly.
…
"You were asking for me?" Olivia asked as she stepped into the kitchen, looking around for this supposed salad that she needed to help with.
"Yeah…" Kathy said hesitantly as she glanced at the already made salad that was now covered with saranwrap and waiting to be taken outside. "I may have asked you in here under false pretenses…" She said, looking a bit guilty.
"I uh… I see that…" Olivia said, nodding her head towards the huge salad bowl. "Everything okay?" She asked, now suddenly concerned.
"That's what I wanted to ask you…" The blonde told her.
Kathy explained that she knew something had happened. Elliot had come home and been… different, although Olivia wasn't really sure what 'different' meant in their household. Kathy said that Elliot had seemed off and she figured something had happened at work, but she wasn't sure what it was, and she was worried.
Olivia nodded her head in understanding.
"This last case was more difficult on… him than usual." Olivia agreed. "I can't tell you what happened… I can't breach his trust like that and I can't discuss a case outside of the precinct but, you can try asking him?" Olivia shrugged lightly.
Kathy nodded in return.
"We… yeah… yeah, I'll try." The blonde answered but Olivia got the feeling that Kathy had already tried talking to Elliot and it hadn't worked out so well.
Olivia gave her a sympathetic look.
"If it helps…" The brunette said, getting Kathy's attention once more. "He won't talk to me about it either…" The detective offered her a small smile.
"Actually…. Yeah, yeah it does." The blonde replied with a small smile. Then she walked over and picked up the salad and held it out to Olivia.
"Hey, where are the kids at?" The detective asked, trying to change the subject quickly.
It worked, Kathy's face broke out into a small smile.
"The girls came by yesterday to celebrate with him since they'd already had tickets to some event for today." She explained. "And Richard is at training camp." The woman said as a sadder look washed over her face.
"Oh, right." Olivia said silently. She'd nearly forgotten that Richard had gone through with his plans to join the army against Elliot's pleas and begging. "How long?" The brunette asked lightly.
"Basic training was ten weeks. He's done with that already, and he's just started infantry and armor training, so he's got about sixteen weeks to go." The other woman explained.
Olivia nodded with sympathy. She couldn't imagine what it'd be like to have a child, raise them, then sent them off into the face of danger but there was really nothing that Elliot or Kathy could do. From what Olivia could tell, Richard had had his mind made up for a while.
"I'll keep him in my… thoughts." Olivia said with a small smile. She almost said 'prayers' but that was a stretch even for her. She only prayed on extremely rare occasions and she was pretty sure the Stablers knew that.
"Thanks." The blonde said. "Will you please take this out for me? I don't want to blow my cover…" Kathy asked, stating that she didn't want Elliot to know that she'd been talking about him. Besides, Elliot didn't know much about cooking anyways. He could grill just about anything but that was it. He wouldn't question what the women had been doing in the kitchen.
"Sure." Olivia responded with a small smile and headed out the door.
…
"Whatcha doing?" Olivia asked in her happier voice that she reserved to use on children as she sat down in the grass beside Eli. All the other kids seemed to be a year or two older than Eli except for a couple and the group had wondered to the other side of the yard, and Eli hadn't followed so he was by himself.
The little boy wasn't in school yet and Olivia was pretty certain that members of Kathy's family kept Eli during the days that she had to work. The brunette also knew that Kathy had cut back on her hours as a nurse since she'd had Eli, so Olivia wasn't really sure how much she worked. Him being not being in preschool would explain the lack of children his age though.
"Playin'," he responded as he picked wildflowers in the yard.
"Hmm…" Olivia said as she crossed her dress and adjusted it so that it fully covered her legs and flowed into the grass, making sure that she was being modest and lady-like for the Stabler household.
Eli took this as his cue to crawl into her lap, which she gladly accepted, helping him get situated and also sit Indian style in the crease of her legs.
"You like Flowers, 'Livia?" He asked, turning to look at her in question.
Olivia nodded with a smile as she craned her neck around to see him in her lap.
"I'll let you in on a little secret." She told him in a whisper, and Eli leaned in, listening closely. "Most girl love flowers." She stated, still smiling.
The little boy just smiled wide and handed her two of the white flowers that he'd picked in the yard. He seemed like such an easy child. Easily entertained and for the most part, he always behaved when he came to visit his dad at the precinct.
"Thank you." Olivia said as she accepted the flowers and put them in her hair behind her left ear, causing Eli to smile rather largely. He hadn't expected her to put them in her hair apparently.
They sat together for a while as the soft breeze blew. Olivia's hair whipped around lightly in the sun. She zoned out of what was happening in her surroundings, choosing to focus solely on the little boy in her lap and how he was babbling about flowers, trees, and grass. Then he transitioned to talking about fishing somehow and mentioning that his daddy was supposed to be taking him to the lake before it got cold.
Her heart felt like it was going to burst with love and joy for this child in her lap. She loved him so fucking much that it hurt.
Olivia used to wish that he hadn't gone back to Kathy, that he'd fought her harder, that he'd fought harder for her, but she couldn't deny that this boy in her lap was worth it. She completely understood where her partner was coming from.
Eli deserved the world.
When Olivia finally came out of her thoughts, Eli had somehow transitioned to talking about deer and she couldn't remember Elliot ever talking about going hunting so that confused her a bit.
She felt eyes on her. Her detective skills were zeroed back in and she knew she was being watched. Olivia looked up just in time to see Trevor and Elliot standing together behind the grill, both with their phones out, snapping pictures of her.
If this had been any other time, she would have flipped them both off but instead, she leaned down and whispered to Eli, "Look at daddy and smile."
The boy glanced at her with a confused look before turning his head towards his father and started cheesing it for the cameras. She humored both men and smiled too as she put her arms around Eli.
Truth was, she didn't have many photos with him and she wanted this one, although she was pretty sure them men's photos had more to do with Olivia Benson making a rare appearance in a dress rather than having a cute child in her lap…
Elliot and Trevor seemed surprised but never-the-less, continued snapping photos for a few seconds before Olivia finally stopped posing and gave Eli a hug, kissing the top of his head.
After a couple of beats, Eli turned around and spoke.
"I neeta potty, 'Livia." He told her seriously and she laughed.
"Alright, Little man." She said. "Let's go inside."
Olivia put her arms under his and helped him up onto the grass in front of her, then stood up herself and wiped the grass off her dress before taking his hand and leading him inside, completely ignoring Elliot and Trevor who were, no doubt, talking about her.
She wasn't going to chastise Trevor. He was a big boy and he could do whatever he wanted to do. They'd talked before arriving and she'd expressed that there were really no ground rules for them going to the Stabler's residence aside from her needing him to have her back and cover for her if she got emotional.
However, she didn't trust Elliot, who was probably trying to weasel as much information out of Trevor as possible… but Trevor was a lawyer after all, so he knew how to navigate his way around an interrogation.
"We need to potty." Olivia said as she slid open the sliding glass door from the patio and saw Kathy in the kitchen. The brunette entered the kitchen hand-in-hand with Eli.
The blonde turned around and Olivia saw that her hands were covered with white, gooey stuff. Then she looked at the counter and saw that Kathy was in the middle of making a cheeseball for the guests.
Leave it to Kathy and Elliot Stabler to go overboard for a child's birthday party.
"You need to use the bathroom?" Kathy asked Eli over the counter, searching for which bathroom action he actually needed to do.
"I neeta pee." He said, causing Olivia to snort with a small laugh.
"I can take him…" The detective volunteered, knowing Kathy was busy.
Elliot's wife hesitated for a moment before she relented and gave Olivia her deepest thanks.
"He can do everything himself." She told her. "But our bathroom downstairs has been giving us problems. Can you walk with him upstairs?" Kathy asked.
While Eli could pee on his own, he still wasn't allowed to walk up the stairs by himself because of his balance not being that great yet and their stairs were a bit too steep for children. He'd crawl up and down them by himself still, but he wasn't allowed to play on them for fear of him tumbling down.
"Sure." Olivia gave the woman a smile and headed towards the stairs, hearing Kathy call out that it was the second door on the right.
So, hand-in-hand, she and Eli climbed the stairs. When they reached the top, they passed the first closed door on the right, which Olivia guessed was a hall closet of some sort due to how much small wall space it had before the second door.
"Light?" Eli asked softly as he looked to her with big eyes. Olivia smiled and reached in, flipping the light switch that Eli couldn't reach.
"You wait here." He commanded, and then entered the bathroom, shutting the door behind him leaving Olivia giggling at his cute, child-like behaviors.
She cast a glance at the stairs and wandered back towards them. On their way to the bathroom, they'd passed the guest bedroom to the left. The door had been open, and Olivia had glanced at the beautiful teal blue bedding and décor of the room, but now she could see inside it from the opposite direction and something on the dresser caught her eye.
Actually, a lot of somethings.
There were many picture frames on it, more than the normal two or three amount. It was more like six or seven.
She walked closer to the doorframe, her detective skills getting the best of her. One picture had stuck out. She could barely see it but she could've sworn the woman in the photo favored her.
As she got closer, she realized it was in fact her.
Olivia stepped into the bedroom and walked towards the dresser. There in a silver picture frame was a photo of herself, holding Eli at the precinct when he was just about a month old. It'd been his first visit. Elliot and Kathy had brought him in for everyone to see and meet.
She remembered the photo being taken but she didn't realize it'd been kept, never-the-less printed out and framed. She picked it up and held it in her hands, investigating it more closely.
On the dresser were various other photos containing the Stabler kids at numerous ages with picture of Kathy and Elliot in some of them.
Olivia didn't understand why they'd have all of these pictures of her and the family in the guest room.
Then something else on the dresser caught her eye. On the far end were a bunch of white papers. As she walked closer, still holding the framed picture of herself and Eli, she saw that in big, bold letters at the top were written 'The State of New York Judicial Branch. Joint Complaint, Petition, Or Declaration for Simplified Divorce.'
"Oh, shit." She whispered as she stared at them.
The front page was just explaining what simplified divorce meant and what would happen, it continued onto the second page but only the first page was visible, and Olivia didn't dare touch them. She couldn't even tell if they'd been signed or not.
She all the sudden was over come with several feelings. Elliot hadn't let on that he and Kathy were contemplating divorce again. Sure, he'd said things weren't great at home, but he'd always stressed that they were making things work for Eli.
"Dat me an' you." She heard the tiny voice come from Eli as he was walking towards her, apparently done with his bathroom break. He was looking at the framed photo in her hands.
She let a small smile grace her face.
"It is." She agreed.
"Wat you doin' in Daddy's room?" He asked curiously, causing Olivia's mouth to drop open.
She looked at him in slight surprise but tried her best to hide her shock. Glancing around the room, she found that the little boy was right. The closet door was open and filled with clothing that she'd seen Elliot wear before, her partner's cologne was on the dresser just above the divorce papers along with two small bottles of pills that she definitely wanted to inspect but couldn't, and there was a small pile of his shoes in the corner of the room.
Olivia swallowed hard. She had so many questions, but she wasn't about to interrogate little Eli.
"We shouldn't be in here." She told Eli, realizing that this was, in fact, her partners current bedroom. She swallowed hard and clutched the picture frame in her hand.
"Come on." Olivia said quickly. "We need to get back down stairs." She said as she turned to place the photograph where she'd found it and was met with Kathy standing at the doorway, leaning against the doorframe.
The brunette's mouth hung open slightly and her eyes were widened. She hadn't meant to snoop. It was only supposed to be the guest bedroom and she was only supposed to be looked at the family photographs while Eli was in the restroom.
Before either woman could speak, a number of large squeals came from outside that seemed to suggest that the other children were either being entertained by an adult or had found a new, more fun game to play.
Eli gasped, and his eyes got very large as he heard the sounds, then he headed for the bedroom door.
"I goin' back outside!" He said quickly as he trotted through the doorframe and towards the stairs.
Kathy leaned back momentarily and watched him.
"How do we go down the stairs?" She called after him.
Olivia heard a tiny sigh then Eli's voice say "Crawlin' slowly or walkin' with two hans on da rail…"
The blonde continued to watch him for a few seconds more until he was out of site, then she looked back at Olivia with a calm face.
The detective was still holding the framed photo and she scratched the back of her head with her free hand, trying to think of a way to get herself out of this hole she'd unintentionally put herself in.
"Um… can I have a copy of this?" She asked lightly, holding up the framed photo of herself and Eli.
Kathy gave her a thin smile, then moved inside the room, walking to the bed and taking a seat.
"I'm pretty sure that was your copy, but he kept it instead of giving it to you." She replied gently, making Olivia very alert that their conversation was possibly entering dangerous territory.
"I wasn't… I didn't mean…" Olivia started but was at a loss for words. She gazed around the room. "I saw the photo while I was waiting on Eli… I just wanted to get a better look… I thought this was the guest room…" She said, trying her best to explain her actions and keep a light tone in her voice.
Kathy sat up straight and cocked her head to the side as she braced both hands on each side of her on the bed.
"I'll get you a copy of the photo." She promised the other woman, but the way that Kathy had sat down on the bed told Olivia that she had other things on her mind too.
Olivia turned around and set the framed photo back down where she'd found it.
"Thanks." She whispered softly, then stayed standing by the dresser, trying her best to get rid of her deer-in-headlights look that she knew she must have.
The silence that then overcame them was deafening. Olivia's fear was building and she all the sudden wished Eli would burst back into the room. She didn't want to be in the bedroom with Kathy. She didn't want to talk to the woman about whatever the blonde was about to say, and she sure as hell didn't want to discuss Elliot with her.
"I have a confession…" Kathy said as she spread her legs and laced her fingers, leaning her elbows on her knees.
Olivia looked at her with a puzzled expression. The brunette was the one that should be confessing… not Kathy.
"I went to put flowers on the grave of the baby girl that died at the hospital… some nurses got together and chipped in. Because I knew you and they didn't, they thought it'd be best for me to go." The blonde explained, tucking a piece of blonde hair behind her ear.
Olivia swallowed hard again as her heart nearly stopped.
"I looked up the obituary and got the address of where she was buried." Kathy explained. "I hadn't expected it to be beside your mom… and other… child." She said gently, and Olivia felt her eyes welling up with water.
That was personal to Olivia. It was personal space that Kathy had inadvertently invaded. It was a public cemetery so technically she'd done nothing wrong, but Olivia still felt slightly like her privacy had been violated.
Her heart was beating so fast.
"I decided to divide the flowers up to put them on your mom's grave, along with both children's." Kathy explained. "And I saw the date on your daughter's tombstone and I… I was surprised…" The blonde explained with a slightly confused expression that showcased some sadness. "I was, for some reason, under the impression that you'd lost her a long time ago but… May 25th of 2006 is not that long ago…" Kathy had known it was a miscarriage simply because there was only one date on the tombstone.
Olivia's eyes continued to water. She didn't want to be talking about this with Kathy, but she had no choice right now.
"Over four years ago." The detective whispered, for fear that her voice would break if she actually tried to speak.
Kathy nodded.
Olivia rubbed her lips together as her throat suddenly went dry.
"I'm sorry you've had to go through so much in the past few years." Kathy told her sympathetically.
"I could say the same for you." Olivia replied after she'd found her voice, glancing at the divorce papers on the dresser. She ran her hand through her hair, then crossed her arms and leaned back against the dresser. Her defenses were up, and she was on high alert.
But the blonde ignored the detectives comment.
"May 25th of 2006 was after Elliot and I had been separated for a good while." Kathy stated, and Olivia's stomach dropped as she realized where this conversation was going.
"I wasn't working with him then." Olivia deflected. "I had the miscarriage months after I'd transferred to computer crimes on the other side of the city." She said, hoping to satisfy Kathy's evident curiosity.
The other woman nodded.
"I remember. He'd told me you'd left when I'd asked how you were doing during our exchange of the kids one day."
Olivia nodded now, not sure where this conversation was going anymore. As far as she was concerned, she'd just presented Kathy with an alibi.
"We were separated for so long…" The blonde continued. "I dated around, and he told me he did too." She said, giving Olivia a knowing look.
The brunette shook her head lightly.
"I didn't date your husband." Olivia said with conviction, looking Kathy dead in the eyes. It wasn't a lie. She and Elliot had never dated per say.
Kathy just gave Olivia a thin smile and it was in this moment that Olivia felt the most fear as she realized that Elliot's wife, did in fact, believe that Elliot had fathered her unborn child.
The detective had most likely given herself away when she'd been in mourning and Kathy had brought her food and a visit from Eli. She told the blonde not to tell Elliot about her losing a child previously, she'd practically begged her not to tell him.
Olivia had given herself away by accident.
The brunette uncrossed her arms and gripped the edge of the dresser as she stared at the window briefly, trying to decide what to say next.
Kathy sat up straight again, removing her elbows from her knees and focused on Olivia closely, which Olivia hated.
"I'll sue you." Olivia said lowly as her head lolled back towards Kathy.
The brunette's eyes were still slightly watery, but they were darker and her stance had changed along with her facial expression. She was no longer Olivia, she was in her Detective Benson persona, her defenses were on high, and she was coming out with guns blazing.
"W-what?" Kathy asked, stammering in surprise at Olivia's words and her all-the-sudden coldness.
"If you tell him, I will sue you for everything your worth." The brunette repeated, her self-protection mechanism taking over. "I said I'd lost a child when I was at the hospital, when me and my newly adopted daughter were under your care as a nurse. And as a nurse, you have an ethical code you have to follow. If you tell Elliot anything about my miscarriage, I will sue you." Olivia continued, looking at Kathy intently. "And you will lose your job, and your license." She finished, eyes blazing.
Tension filled the room, even more so than it had before.
"You think I can't sue you for sleeping with my husband?" Kathy asked calmly and in a slightly confused tone. She had grounds for what she was saying. A wife or husband can sue the person that their partner cheats with using the Alienation of Affection defense. "You slept with your partner… isn't that ground for suspension or losing your badge all together?" She continued to question lightly, in a non-threatening manner, nothing like the tone Olivia had come at her with.
The brunette swallowed hard and dipped her head down, closing her eyes tightly and she gripped the dresser so hard that her knuckles were turning white.
"We… we just slept together once." Olivia whispered harshly. "We'd had a tough case… the same one that'd made me transfer to computer crimes. You… both of you had signed the papers and I… faltered." Olivia explained, then glanced back up to make eye contact with Kathy. "He and I faltered… and I'm so, so fucking sorry…" She said with tears in her eyes.
A couple of days after Olivia had had her miscarriage she'd had too much time on her hands and she'd began thinking too much. She'd wondered which time had done it.
Was it when he'd first come inside her, when they'd been fucking missionary style and he'd gripped her leg tightly as he grunted out her name while contorting his face and filling her body with his semen?
Had it been the second time, shortly after the first, after he'd sucked her until she writhed beneath his mouth and yelled his name as she climaxed, causing him to harden again and slip inside her in a missionary position once more until he grunted her name and came again?
Or had it been the third time, in the wee hours of the morning when they'd both woken up in each other's arms and she'd quickly ended up on all fours as he fucked her from behind, lightly pulling her hair and slamming into her until he moaned loudly, bent over with his chest to her back and came inside her for the third and final time, before they fell back asleep?
"I am sorry." Olivia repeated softly, looking to Kathy, seeking forgiveness.
"I-I'm not upset… we both saw other people." The blonde repeated lightly. "I'm not mad… I just…"
"Hey!" The were interrupted by Trevor's voice as he gently knocked on the doorframe. His face told Olivia that he'd sensed something was wrong and he'd come to save her.
"Stabler says it's cake time and that Eli is getting fussy." He directed at Kathy with a half-smile and stood at the door waiting. There was no way he was leaving Olivia alone with the woman now. Especially since he could see that the brunette was basically in tears.
"I need to go to the restroom…" Olivia mumbled as she excused herself and darted around Trevor and out the door and down the hall as quickly as possible with out actually breaking into a sprint.
Kathy gave him a thin smile as she stood up and went to tend to Eli.
Trevor made his way over to the bathroom door and propped himself up beside it.
"She's gone." He called through the door, and a few seconds later, it opened, revealing Olivia using a wad of toilet paper to dab at her eyes.
"I'm sorry…" The lawyer offered her gently. "I was on Stabler duty, making sure he was staying away from you for the most part but I guess I was watching the wrong Stabler…" He said with a sympathetic smile.
Olivia sniffed and smiled at his kindness and protectiveness her.
"It's fine." She said.
"It's not." He insisted. "What'd she do?" Trevor asked gently.
Olivia shook her head quickly.
"Not here." She said, making it clear that she couldn't discuss it now at this time or in this place. He nodded in return.
"My make-up look okay?" She asked as she gazed at him.
"Beautiful as ever." Trevor told her with a big grin, and he received a light punch to the shoulder and an eye roll from Olivia. She knew he was lying. She could see herself in the mirror. Her face had started to look red and blotchy and her eyeliner had disappeared because of her tears.
"After cake, we're leaving." She instructed as she threw the toilet paper away and headed down the hall.
"Alrighty." Trevor agreed, following her and slipping his hand in hers as they descended the stairs together.
No mature scenes for this chapter, sorry. They just didn't fit.