Rin stared out the window, watching the thunder clouds roll in over the trees. He could hear the wind rustle the trees through his opened window. He had been silent the past couple hours as Doctors and nurses alike came in and out of his room. Ever since the ball had been dropped that Rin couldn't feel his legs, Doctors have been trying to confirm it. After a few tests, it was the news they dreaded.
Rin was indeed Paralyzed.
He didn't bother to listen to the Doctor's sympathy, instead he kept his head hung low, avoiding any real conversations. Shura had gone home after the news, but Yukio stayed, trying to comfort his brother, but even his words meant little to Rin.
Doctor Shizoh walked in with a few things on a medical cart. Rin glanced up, his curiosity peaking. Shizoh stopped on the side of Rin's hospital bed, sending a sympathetic look at Rin who easily ignored it.
"I know this is still… News but since you are Paralyzed we are going to need to get you set up for it properly." He said, putting a comforting hand on Rin's shoulder.
"What does that mean?" Rin snapped, shaking the hand off.
The Doctor just dropped his hand, knowing it was no use in trying to comfort the boy. He reached down and grabbed a tube that was attached to a bag. "This may be a touchy subject, but we are going to need to give you a catheter." The Doctor said. "Since it is hard for Paraplegic patients to know when they have bowel movements or bladder control, we instrust that they have both a catheter and a colostomy. The colostomy will need to be installed surgically, but the catheter we can inserted right now." He finished.
Those words seemed to hit Rin hard. He was embarrassed. Angry. He wanted to go back to being the Rin everyone knew not this… Pathetic Demon who needed bags and tubes to do simple things for him. Hearing just how pathetic he was through the doctors explanations made him almost wished he didn't survive the Demitsu.
"How long till he can come home?" Yukio asked.
The doctor thought for a moment, placing the tube back down on the cart. "Considering how fast Rin has healed his abdomen wounds, I'd say after the Colostomy is inserted he could go home the next day." Doctor Shizoh explained.
"How fast can we get him into surgery?"
"He is already scheduled for tomorrow morning. He should be well on his way by Saturday." Doctor Shizoh explained before picking the tube back up and turning to Rin. "I need you both to listen carefully. Once this is placed it will need to be watched. The Catheter will need to be changed every month and the bag needs to be emptied daily. If you notice any discoloration, Infection, or any other signs, do not hesitate to take it out and instantly come to the hospital. Your care instructions for the Stoma bag will be given after his surgery."
Rin didn't hear much of it, but he could tell Yukio clung to every word being said. Rin's eyes found their way to his sword that lied across the cushioned bed behind Yukio. Everything in this moment felt surreal and he was sure this was all just one big nightmare that he would wake up from and go back to being the hated Son of Satan.
He didn't want to be hated and unable to walk. It just didn't fit his persona. But as he heard the Doctor talk and the tube in his hand, Rin knew he wasn't having a nightmare. This was happening and Rin felt helpless.
After a few moments passed the doctor continued on with the procedure. Rin didn't feel anything and once it was done, Rin felt absolutely embarrassed. Yukio had left while it happened, but when he came back, Rin's blanket was back over him but the bag was handing off of the bed, as if to show off his shame.
"That wasn't so bad, was it, Rin?" Yukio asked, entering the room with a coffee and a donut.
"How would I know, I couldn't feel it." Rin grumbled sarcastically, folding his arms across his chest.
Yukio chuckled lightly, walking over to his usual chair and plopping down, setting his coffee and donut on Rin's food table, before turning his full attention to Rin. Minutes stretched on with nothing being said, until Yukio broke it.
"Rin this isn't your fault." Yukio finally said, making Rin's head twisted toward him.
"Are you sure? Almost everything nowadays seem to be my fault." Rin snapped. "The camping trip, Koneko getting hurt, the Demitsu going after them; it's all my fault, Yukio. It's always my fault." Rin looked away from Yukio, his eyes looking out the window, watching fat raindrops hit his still opened window. "Maybe this is what I deserve for being born." Rin whispered.
Yukio shot up, slamming his hands down on the bed handles. Rin jumped, looking back at his twin brother. "Don't say that!" He shouted.
A beat passed.
"Nothing is your fault Rin!" Yukio looked up, and Rin could see the hurt in his eyes. A tug at his heart made Rin feel guilty about the words he had said. "You don't deserve this… I was supposed to protect you and… I failed."
Rin's sympathy melted away, his eyes turning away. Rin scoffed. "You don't protect me, Yukio. That's my job as the older brother."
Yukio collapsed in the chair, defeated. "How are you going to protect me now?" Yukio asked. He hadn't meant for it to come out as harshly as he did, but the question lingered in the air all the same.
"The same as I always have." Rin finished.
There was a knock at the door and both of them looked up to see Shura standing there with a tear in her eye and a pink box that said "Louchi's Bagels" in her hand.
Rin's face lit up red with embarrassment. "S-Shura?! How long have you been standing there?!"
"Long enough to see the Soap Opera Drama end. Yew both would be great actors for a show like that if exorcist didn't pan out fer ya." Shura jokes, walking over to the other side of the bed and dropping the box in Rin's lap.
"Whats this?"
"It's yew'r homework. Someone had to bring it t'ya." Shura said, plopping on the love seat and throwing her feet up onto Rin's bed.
"Why though? Without my legs I can't really do any exorcist training." Rin said, a hint of pain behind the words.
Shura sent a worried look towards Rin as he eyed the pink box before simply sighing, sinking deeper into the loveseat. "You aren't getting out of training that easily. You are in the Cram school. Suck it up and deal with it." She said.
Rin smiled. He was thankful for those words, but at the same time it gave him anxiety thinking about them. How will they treat him now? Will they just treat him like a disease instead of a monster? Will they be bolder in insulting him? Would they even spare a look anymore? These questions circled his head as he stared at the box in his lap.
After Rin's surgery to place the Stoma bag in his abdomen, Rin was actually starting to feel better. The wounds on his abdomen were pretty much just pink scares, all except the one near his happy trail. That one still had the incision marks. Other than that, Rin was feeling just fine. He was ready to get out of the hospital and today was his day.
"Since your finished packing I'm going to go check you out and grab your new wheelchair. Dr. Shizoh ordered you a special one." Yukio explained, before jogging out of the room. Rin was now in black seats and an oversized matching hoodie. He turned his body, grabbing the pant leg of his sweats and throwing his legs over the side of the bed. It still felt weird knowing he couldn't feel his legs. He would be up and jumping by now, but now he could only sit there and rely on someone else to get him up and active.
Rin looked down to see the tube coming from his pants and toward the bag that lied next to him, some pee already in it. Every time he looked at it, it made him angry. He used to be a badass, protecting people and even being the show off… now though?
Rin looked over his shoulder, seeing Dr. Shizoh and Yukio walking back to his room with a blue and gray wheelchair. As they entered, they were laughing. "Alright, are you sure you don't need help?" Dr. Shizoh asked.
Yukio shrugged. "I think I have it from here, Doctor. Thank you for the instructions and the spare stuff. I'm sure they will be helpful." Yukio explained.
Doctor Shizoh bowed. "If you say so. I will be going. Be careful you two and don't forget. You have a doctor appointment Next month on the Eighth." He explained before leaving the room and closing the door.
Yukio wheeled the chair over to the side of him, bending down to put the brakes down. He straightened up and reached over to grab the bag of pee and tucking it away in a flap specifically designed for it and grabbed the medical bag of supplies and throwing it over his shoulder before looking at Rin expectantly.
Rin took a deep breath before holding bending down, grabbing the arm rests of the wheelchair, making sure he had a good grip on it, before trying to stand. Instead he went tumbling down onto his knees, scooting the wheelchair back, making black streaks from the rubber of the tires. Rin cursed as Yukio, on instinct leaned in to help him.
"No!" Rin snapped. "I… I mean I can do it myself."
Rin took another deep breath, putting one hand on the armrest and the other gripping the back of the chair. Using all his strength he tries to pull himself up. He could feel his arms shaking, not used to using this muscle after a week in the hospital. Muscle atrophy was his main weakness as he tried and failed to get into the chair. Rin collapsed against the chair, his arms falling onto the seat of the wheelchair.
"I...I need help." Rin whispered.
Yukio didn't say anything. Dropping the bag on the bed, he bent down and lifted Rin's upper body before helping him turn and plop into the chair. Rin was winded from that little motion as he watched Yukio drop the feet rests, lifting Rin's legs into them before pulling up the breaks and grabbing both Rin's and the hospital supplies before throwing them over his shoulder. He grabbed Rin's sword, placing it on Rin's lap before wheeling Rin out of his room.
As they left the hospital, the only thing on Rin's mind was just how pathetic and weak he felt in that moment. His sword in his lap reminding him just how much he had lost in that moment. Not only did he lose the ability to walk, his freedom, privacy and happiness, he also lost the ability to complete his wish. Defeating Satan and getting justice for Shiro was starting to look like a distant dream and that hurt Rin's pride more than anything.