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Calvin had been in Olivia's care for several, several weeks now. He'd learned to fully trust her, and she'd learned things about him too, like how he loved cartoons even though he'd never admit it, he loved pancakes, especially when she put blueberries in them, and Olivia was pretty sure Fin was his favorite 'uncle' so-to-speak.
She'd also been taking Calvin to weekly therapy sessions. He was reluctant at first, until she opened up and told him about how she had seen a therapist at various moments in her life, she even told him about how everyone in her squad had seen a therapist at some point for various reasons, which made him more accepting to the idea.
He'd requested she sit in with him on the first session, but after that, Olivia waited in the waiting area reading magazines while he had his sessions. She could tell they were helping him and she was very grateful.
…
"Can't I just go to work with you?" he asked innocently.
Olivia smiled at him as she packed his lunch on the counter and he continued to put his books in his back pack.
"I'm sure school would be more fun if you could stop getting into fights and maybe make friends with some of the people on the basketball team?" She suggested, earning her an eye roll from Calvin, which made her laugh.
He would have made the basketball team except he'd gotten into two separate fights at school and just one meant that he wasn't allowed to participate in any sporting events. It was the school's policy. But Olivia wasn't so sure Calvin was torn up about not being allowed on the team. She actually was starting to wonder if he'd done it on purpose.
"I just don't like school…" He half whined.
"You know, if you're like me, one day you're gonna look back and think that school was some of the most fun you ever had…" She said as she wrapped his sandwich up and put it in a brown paper bag.
"Oh, you can remember back that far?" He said, looking up and not missing a beat.
She began laughing again. He was getting better at this game.
"That was a good one…" She said, causing him to smile. "Come on…" Olivia called, waving him over.
As he shuffled over to her, he pulled out a piece of paper. Olivia stuffed his lunch in his back pack and zipped it up for him.
"Here, I made this for you in art class." Calvin told her as he held out the piece of paper.
It was done with colored pencils and water colors. The picture was of her in uniform holding her gun. It was one of the most beautiful things she'd ever seen.
Olivia's eyes started to water as she read the bottom where it said, 'I love you, Calvin."
She smiled and looked at him.
"I love you too, kid." She said as she leaned down and kissed him on the head, then walked over to put the picture on the fridge.
She turned around to face him again.
"Got your phone?" She asked.
Olivia had gotten him a phone once she'd started letting him walk to school. Apparently, all the other kids did it and he was deemed uncool when she walked with him, so after a few weeks of giving it a lot of thought, she allowed him to walk himself to school, with a phone for communication purposes.
Every now and then she'd follow him just for her own piece of mind, but he didn't need to know that. And she'd sat down with him and talked him through every single situation she could think of.
"Got your keys in case you get home before me?" She asked after he'd nodded to her first question.
Most of the time, she'd have him meet her at the precinct, and then they'd go home together but on her short days, she'd meet him back at the apartment since the precinct was the opposite direction of her apartment from the school.
Occasionally, Trevor would meet them at the precinct and take them all out to eat or to Olivia's apartment and cook dinner. Those nights were cherished.
"When are we going to celebrate?" He asked her, after nodding to her second question.
Olivia gave him a small smile.
"I've been thinking maybe Friday?" She asked him, raising her eyebrows in question.
Calvin looked at her in confusion.
"You aren't working late?" he questioned, causing Olivia to bite her lip.
She took a small breath and smiled as she revealed her plans to him.
"I was thinking I'd take off, and you could skip school… maybe we could spend the day together, go to Legoland, have a nice lunch, go see a movie, things like that?" Olivia asked, knowing very well that he wouldn't pass up the chance to miss school or do any of the things she'd listed off.
Olivia watched as his eyes lit up with excitement.
"Really!?" He exclaimed.
She nodded, willing herself not to get emotional at his level of excitement.
Calvin ran into, full force, nearly knocking her over as he hugged her tightly.
She chuckled.
"Okay, now go, or you're gonna be late for school!" she told him, pointing her finger at him in a playful manor, and they said their goodbyes, then he was out the door.
…
Olivia tried not to let Elliot's comment from the elevator bother her, but it was stuck in the back of her mind. He'd asked her if she was having any luck locating Vivian or Calvin's father, and that was after he off-handedly asked her how long she was going to be playing 'mom'.
She'd ignored him and given him the silent treatment after telling him off. Olivia explained that it was none of his business but that she wasn't making and progress in finding Calvin's parents. She even mentioned that she'd taken a swab from Calvin and sent it to the lab to see if they got a match, but it came back with nothing.
All Calvin could tell her was that his father's name might be David, and that he's seen the man around a couple of times since he was born but he didn't stay long, and Calvin wasn't even entirely sure that this David guy was his real father.
After she'd explained that to Elliot, they caught a case with a woman who'd been raped and murdered at a rather large house party. Only, it turns out that she wasn't raped at the party, she was raped by one of the first responders in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.
The whole thing made Elliot sick to his stomach, and Olivia too. These people who were supposed to be helping victims were just hurting them after they'd already been hurt. One of the first responders was a rapist while the other stole things from the calls they went on, they worked together as a team, covering each other's tracks.
It didn't take much to finish this case because the first responder rapist ended up committed suicide and his partner got serious jail time.
When the ME came back with results from the open house, it was discovered that Vivian's fingerprints were found at the scene as well.
Cragen appointed Fin and Munch to interview the homeowners about Vivian and her girlfriend, Sarah since Olivia had a personal connection to the case and Elliot was her partner.
Soon enough, Munch and Fin discovered Olivia had gone behind Cragen's back and interviewed the homeowners first, which caused Fin to give Elliot a heads up.
…
Olivia was able to track Vivian to an old run-down house on the upper east side. She entered with caution and made note of several syringes and needles, as well as an old steak knife sitting on a box.
When Vivian came into view, she was clearly strung out, wearing a white tank top and grey sweats. She'd mistaken Olivia's entrance for Sarah bringing food.
"What are you doing here?" Vivian asked, once she was focused enough to see that it was indeed Olivia.
"Don't do anything stupid…" Olivia said quickly, blocking Vivian's path to the knife. The brunette detective picked it up and threw it in a large pile of trash in the corner.
"What do you want?" The blonde asked, her eyes red from the drugs.
"I'm here to help you." Olivia tried, not knowing if Vivian would believe her or not, but for Calvin's sake, she was going to try and help her. "I have to cuff you… I've gotta take you in but Vivian, I swear I'm gonna do everything I can to help you." She promised.
As Olivia tried to cuff her, Vivian began to fight. She yelled and screamed, she thrashed around. It was surprising how strong she was for such a tiny woman.
"You ruin everything!" The blonde yelled. "Wherever my home is, you ruin it! You ruined my life, I thought I knew who I was but then you came along and fucked everything up!" She screamed.
"Vivian…" Olivia huffed, facing the woman. "I know it's hard. I understand-"
"Stop! Just stop saying how much we're alike and how you understand! It's all BULLSHIT!" Vivian exclaimed. "It's crap, I'll never be anything like you, ever!"
Olivia was tired. They'd been working this case for three days now and she was just ready to get it over with.
"Vivian Arliss, you're under arrest…." She started.
"NO!" The blonde screamed again. "Sarah and I are happy! We won't hurt anyone else we promise! Please just leave us alone!"
Vivian had sunken to the ground in tears, begging not to be arrested. To be honest, it was typical junkie behavior.
Olivia grabbed Vivian's chin, forcing the woman to look at her.
"Listen to me, you deserve better than this!" The detective told her strongly. She believed Vivian deserved better. Being the daughter of a rapist was tough, being the child of any kind of criminal was rough, especially when you have no support system.
"And you deserve Calvin…" Vivian spoke in such a soft voice that Olivia almost didn't hear her. "Isn't that what you want?" She continued. "You want my son. You want a child…." She said, breaking down in sobs. "If you walk away right now you can have him. Calvin can be your little boy forever, I promise. You can have him…"
Olivia stopped trying to cuff Vivian and just stared at her.
To Elliot, who Olivia didn't know was standing by the entrance watching the scene play out and ready to interfere if his partner needed him, it looked like Olivia had stopped cuffing Vivian to contemplate whether or not she should take the deal, whether she should just leave Vivian alone and walk out the door.
But in reality, Olivia had stopped what she was doing and stared at Vivian because she was wondering how a mother, who'd half-way cared for a child for most of his twelve years of life, could just give him away to someone that she barely knew. Not only that, but how could Vivian not want this beautiful, bright, talented boy that she'd brought into the world?
It's one thing to give a child up for adoption at birth because you don't want them or can't take care of them. Those situations, Olivia fully understood. But for a mother to choose drugs over her pre-teen son, so-much-so, that she was practically giving him to a stranger? Olivia couldn't comprehend it. She didn't understand it at all and she wasn't sure that she wanted to.
"Shut up!" Olivia said forcefully, after snapping out of her daze and realizing Vivian was still rambling on.
She pulled Vivian to a standing position with her arms.
"I know you're a good person…. I can tell…" Vivian said. Which Olivia thought was stupid because you can never tell if a person is good or bad by looking at them. "You want Calvin, right? He's happy with you. You just want him to be happy, don't you?"
Olivia held Vivian by her upper arms and stared at her again.
"Well, Liv, make a decision." Elliot's voice came from by the door.
Olivia whipped her head around so fast that her hair flew in her face. She made eye contact with him, instantly wondering how long he'd been there, then hoping that it'd been for a while because she might need a witness to Vivian trying to give her Calvin.
"It's your choice." He said, letting her know that he would back her play, whatever it was.
Olivia swallowed hard and took a deep breath as she turned around and began cuffing a sobbing Vivian.
"It's time to tell us what happened to Walter Burlock." She told Vivian as she began to walk her out.
…
Cragen was pissed.
Both Olivia and Elliot had defied his direct orders. They'd need to be punished, which was more paperwork for him, which was really what he was mad about.
Vivian confessed to killing Burlock. She described the scene, she described the murder in great detail and finished with saying "The fact that he was my biological rapist father only made it better…"
It gave Olivia chills.
Cragen pulled both of them out of the interview room after reprimanding them and put Fin and Munch on the case, even though he was pissed as hell because they'd called Elliot when Olivia had gone rouge instead of him.
Olivia made it to the cribs in record time after the captain had dismissed her. She felt like she couldn't breathe. This case had happened entirely too fast for her. Her head was spinning at everything Olivia had said. She wanted to cry. Not for herself but for Calvin and the heartache that he was going to have when she gave him a watered-down version of everything after the case was over with.
She wouldn't lie to him. He deserved to know the truth.
The door to the cribs creaked open after a few minutes. Olivia's eyes had already adjusted to the darkness of the room, she could tell it was Elliot. From her position of laying on the bed, she leaned her head up and looked at him, wondering if they needed her back downstairs for the case.
But Elliot shut the door behind him and leaned his back against it, holding his hands up in surrender.
"I know I've been an asshole lately, and if you want me to leave, I will, but I just wanted to come check on you…."
Olivia rolled her eyes and huffed but moved over on the small bed to make room for him to lay to her right.
He understood immediately and made his way to the bed and laid down beside her, still unsure of what mood she was in or how she was going to react to him.
To his surprise, she grabbed his left arm and put it behind her, so she could snuggle into his side.
"Sometimes I hate you so fucking much I can't stand it…" She said as she pressed her body up to his and felt his arm hug her.
He smiled in the darkness.
"Water and gasoline…"
She snorted.
Silence fell upon them and it stayed like that for several minutes. He was starting to wonder if she'd fallen asleep. He almost hoped she had, then he could have more time with her like this. They didn't do this much anymore, and he rarely got to hold her like this now but when he did, he loved every minute.
"Would you have really let me walk out of that house without Vivian?" She asked into the silence.
"Yes." He answered without missing a beat. Elliot wrapped both arms around her and hugged her tightly. "You're my partner. I'll always back your play."
She moved to sit up on her elbows and look at him.
"You would have seriously walked me out of that house and let Vivian go?" Olivia asked in seriousness.
"Yes." He replied looking at her. "I would have gotten you out of there if that's what you wanted…. but I'm a good cop." Elliot told her. "I would have made sure Fin and Munch came behind us and picked up Vivian."
Olivia let out a breath that she didn't realize she'd been holding and resumed her position in his arms.
"If I ever ask you to jeopardize a case for me, don't do it." She told him.
Elliot didn't reply, he just hugged her tighter.
"That's my call, not yours." He said after a few moments of silence.
So many things were going through her head. Everything that'd happened with Vivian, then there was Calvin. How was she going to explain all of this to him? And then there was the news that she needed to tell Elliot.
"What you said in the Elevator the other morning about me playing mom, it really hurt my feelings…" Olivia told him. They hadn't had much time to talk over the past couple of days but now was as good of a time as any.
"I'm sorry… I didn't mean it like it sounded…" He tried to explain, taking a deep breath. "I'm worried you're gonna get hurt again. You've already been through so much and I was just trying to keep you grounded. I was trying to make sure you kept in mind that he isn't yours and you aren't his mom…. I'm scared you're gonna get attached to him, he's such an amazing kid, and then if he gets ripped away from you…." Elliot backed up a bit, removing his arms from her and turning on his side so he could be face-to-face with her on the small bed. "A person can only go through so much shit, can only be so strong until they break and you're by far one of the strongest women I've ever met…"
He leaned in and gently kissed her lips. She allowed it, closing her eyes and enjoying his lips on hers, it was a feeling she'd missed.
"You know how I feel about you…" Elliot whispered as she stared at him. "I know you're strong but… I'm just worried is all."
Olivia lifted her left hand and caressed his face. She traced his eyebrow with her thumb and ran her fingers down, outlining his jaw line and lips before caressing his cheek. Slowly she leaned in and kissed him. Deeply.
Their tongues swirled as she closed her eyes and let out a small moan. Her hand left his face as her arm made its way around his waist and pulled him closer, slipping her leg between his and feeling him harden against her thigh. His right hand caressed her ass through her slacks, causing her to rock into him.
It was a heated make out session.
When she finally pulled away, they were both gasping for air.
"I need to tell you something…" She said, looking at him, but before she could answer, there was a light knock on the door, which was odd. No one knocks on the crib door.
"Um… come in?" Olivia called out after she and Elliot had quickly extracted themselves from each other and Elliot had quickly moved to a separate bed beside Olivia's.
"Hey…. So, Sarah is here…" Fin said as he slowly opened the door.
Olivia sat up quickly.
"She came in on her own?" Olivia asked. Elliot had gotten up from his bed and had started walking towards Fin.
"What does she want?" Elliot asked.
"Says she killed Burlock… not Vivian." Fin said. "Better get downstairs." He told them. Elliot nodded and was the first to leave, quickly heading to see what else Sarah had said.
Olivia got up and walked closer to Fin, who was waiting for her.
"You don't usually knock…" She said in a low voice, not wanting Elliot to hear her.
He shrugged.
"Didn't wanna walk in on anything that'd scar me for life… I never know what you two are doing up here…" Fin replied.
Olivia threw him a look as she moved past him to make her way downstairs.
…
Turns out, Vivian's lover, Sarah, had in fact killed Burlock. She claimed she'd done it for Vivian because she wanted Vivian to be happy and not have to worry about him, where he was, what he was doing, or who he was raping.
The next day, Sarah was arraigned and a bail for $500,000 was set. Of course, Vivian bailed her out. Since her mother had died, Vivian was apparently rolling money from life insurance and a sum of money that had been left for her by her mother.
Unfortunately, Sarah wasn't able to get very far because she was murdered as she was bringing the car around for Vivian, who had been stopped outside of the courthouse by Olivia. While Vivian had been demanding to see Calvin, someone had murdered her girlfriend.
After some investigating, Olivia and Elliot thought the killer was Gamble but the killer spit on Sarah's face and Melinda ran the DNA, which was a familiar match to Calvin. The boy's biological father had murdered Sarah.
Olivia instantly felt nauseous when she found out.
She and Elliot made their way over to David's apartment to find him already waiting on them and ready to be taken into custody.
"Sarah stole Vivian from me. I got sober, I talked Vivian into getting sober and going to rehab… where she met Sarah…. I tried to see Calvin. I wanted to spend time with him and take care of him. I wanted Vivian to get clean, so we could be a family but… but it just didn't work…" David explained to them while they were taking him into custody.
"I loved Calvin… and… and then Sarah convinced Viv to leave him. They wouldn't even leave my own son with me… they gave him to you…. I know what I did was wrong." He explained.
Olivia had kept her mouth shut and let Elliot cuff David as she took the gun for evidence.
"Can I see him or speak to him?" David directed towards Olivia.
She bit her lip in thought. Calvin surely had questions for David. Questions that deserved answers.
"Maybe." Olivia finally replied, looking at David and knowing Elliot was observing her. "I'll have to talk to him, it has to be his choice. If he doesn't want to or isn't okay with it, then no." She said firmly.
"I understand." David answered, then was led out of the room by Elliot.
…
Back at the precinct, Elliot had dropped Olivia off and then took David to central booking since Thursday was one of the days that Calvin came to the precinct after school.
When Elliot came back, Calvin was already there and had seemed to make himself at home in Elliot's chair.
"Did we get a new detective?" Elliot asked, acting surprised as he looked at Calvin spinning around in his chair, causing the boy to roll his eyes and Olivia to laugh.
"Cal, let Detective Stabler have his chair back." She said softly. The boy obeyed and removed himself from the chair and walked across the room to sit at one of the empty desks. Fin watched him and smiled, noting that he hadn't sat in the chair at the end of Olivia's desk that was used for victims giving a statement, mostly because it didn't roll or spin around.
Elliot sat in his chair and started filling out his DD-5s so he could head home soon. Olivia was already doing the same and undoubtedly so was Fin.
Olivia planned on talking to Calvin when they got home. She was going to tell him a light version of what had happened that week with his parents.
"Detective Benson?" Called a man in a suit as he entered the room?
"Yes." She said, standing up and heading over to him.
"I'm Paul Vereker, from Child Protective Services." He explained. "I'm here about Calvin Arliss."
"Okay." Olivia replied calmly. Calvin looked up from the chair that he was spinning in and got up slowly.
"I'm here to get Calvin and to notify you that you are no longer his legal guardian." Paul said, handing Olivia a piece of paper.
"This letter terminates your rights and responsibility of legal guardianship immediately per the written revocation of those rights by Vivian Arliss." Olivia read out loud.
"Mom?" Calvin said as Vivian entered the room.
"Hey kiddo…" She said, slowly walking towards him.
Calvin stepped closer to Olivia's desk and both Fin and Elliot were up out of their seats. Fin stood behind Calvin, letting his presence be known to the boy, showing the kid that he had support. Elliot walked closer to Vivian to stop her from getting any closer.
"Custody has been reassigned to Calvin's paternal grandparents…" Paul explained further.
Olivia stood there in shock for a brief moment before quickly jogging to her desk and opening a drawer.
"You're gonna go live in Vermont for a little bit…" Vivian said to Calvin, stepping around Elliot to make her way over to her son.
"No." Calvin said quickly, looking to Olivia in a panic, who was frantically digging in her desk now.
"Son, you don't have a choice…" Paul said.
"Oh, yes he does…" Olivia said, finally finding the stapled papers that she'd been searching for.
Elliot bit his lip.
"Liv, it was temporary… you knew it was always temporary…" He tried soothing her, but she ignored him and presented Paul with the stack of paperwork.
"I'm just here to escort this young man to where he belongs." Paul tried. He looked annoyed, as if he just wanted to get everything over with.
"I belong with Olivia!" Calvin shouted suddenly. "You can't take me away from her, she adopted me, we were supposed to celebrate tomorrow! Olivia don't let them take me!" He said frantically, looking to Olivia with tears welling up in his eyes and backing away from Vivian and closer to Fin.
Vivian looked at Calvin in confusion.
"I am officially Calvin's legal mother. The judge signed off on it earlier this week. That boy is my son." Olivia said forcefully, pointing a finger at Calvin. "And you can't take him from me."
Elliot's face showed shock. Had she really adopted Calvin officially?
Fin stepped in front of the boy and crossed his arms.
"Back up." He told Vivian. If Calvin wanted to be near her or go with her, the boy would have said something but right now, his body language showed fear and panic and Fin was stepping in.
Paul looked confused as well, as he began to scan the papers that Olivia had handed him. The brunette detective made her way over to Calvin, who was now standing behind her desk as if it could shield him from the scene that was playing out before his eyes.
"You said no one would be able to take me away now…" He said to Olivia as she came closer. Calvin wrapped his arms around her waist tightly and she returned the hug.
"They can't." She replied softly. "Everything's fine. You're gonna be fine. You aren't going anywhere." Olivia cooed as she leaned down and kissed his head.
Just then, Trever jogged through the entrance of the squad room with what looked like papers from court in his hands. He was clearly out of breath and looked pissed.
"First of all…" He said as he tried to catch his breath. "I'm filing a complaint with your office for late notification. As Calvin's attorney, I am to be notified BEFORE anything takes place." He explained, directing his harsh words at Paul. "And second, here is a court order from the judge, blocking your motion." Trevor said as he handed the papers over.
"Come on, sit down and take some deep breaths for me, yeah?" Olivia said to Calvin as she guided him to her chair and took out a bottle of water from her desk drawer, handing it to him.
Elliot couldn't stop looking back and forth between Olivia, Trevor, Paul, and Vivian. His head was spinning. He stood back and stayed quiet, not knowing what to do.
"As of the beginning of this week, Olivia Benson officially adopted Calvin Arliss. She is legally his mother and he is legally her son. You cannot take him from her. It's against the law." Trevor said forcefully to Paul.
Trevor was a bit more invested in this case since it was so personal to him, therefore his emotions were making themselves known.
Paul continued to flip through the set of papers Olivia gave him and the set that Trevor had presented him with.
"You can't just adopt my son! I'm his mother, he's mine!" Vivian half yelled at Olivia.
"He's not a possession! He's a human being and he doesn't belong to anyone!" Olivia shot back, getting up and walking over to Vivian, who took a few steps back. "If you acted more like a mother, you wouldn't be in this situation." Olivia told the blonde. "You abandoned Calvin. Literally. You left him at a police station, which is one of the legal definitions of child abandonment in the state of New York. After you abandon a child for three months, he or she is eligible to be adopted by another party. As of two weeks ago, I started the adoption paperwork, and thanks to you and your actions, it went pretty smoothly."
Fin had backed up and made his way to Calvin, being a support system but also doubling as a guard in cause Paul or Vivian tried to come close to him again.
Odafin was having it.
Elliot finally came out of his daze and also made his way over to Calvin, grabbing a box of tissues from his desk on the way and giving them to the boy as he sat down in a chair beside Calvin.
"We've got your back." Elliot told him with a small smile. "Everything is gonna be alright." He promised the boy, even though he wasn't sure what the fuck was going on or going to happen.
Vivian was still stood frozen. It seemed like she didn't know what to do, so she looked to Paul for guidance.
"They're right." He told her after he'd finished reading the papers. "It seems that Detective Benson had legally adopted Mr. Arliss. He is her adopted son now…" Paul said, looking to Vivian.
"No!" Vivian said, crying.
Olivia looked at Fin and Elliot, then she nodded her head towards Vivian. "Get her out of here…" She said lowly as she made her way to Calvin again.
"I want to see my son!" Vivian said as she was being escorted out by Fin and Elliot.
"That'll be up to him at a later date…" Olivia replied, casting a glance at Vivian as the other two detectives helped her to the elevator followed by Paul, who looked ready to leave.
Calvin was still teary as Olivia looked at him and sat down in the chair that Elliot had occupied beside the boy.
"It's okay." She told him softly. He leaned his head against her shoulder and she wrapped her arms around him, closing her eyes tightly. "I promised you I'd keep you safe, and that's exactly what I'll do. You know that…" Olivia told him. "No one can take you from me. My home is your home, right?" She felt him nod against her shoulder as he sniffled.
She thought back to when he'd asked about the adoption, how thrown she'd been.
…
FLASHBACK:
They had been sitting in the living room playing Friday the Thirteenth, a game that Olivia had contemplated getting him because it had violence in it but when she did the demo to see what it was like, she found she liked the game herself. Calvin knew it was wrong to kill people obviously, and the only bad stuff it had was blood, guts, and gore so she'd finally decided to buy it.
But just like his phone, there were conditions with this game. He wasn't to talk to anyone, not like he could anyways because he didn't have a connect device or headset but there were always messages on the xbox that could be sent. And he was only to play it with her or Fin, especially since the game involved playing with other very real people on the internet. They could always hear what the others were saying but couldn't reply and if it was someone with a foul mouth, Olivia just muted that user.
During one of their sessions, after they'd both been killed and were waiting for Jason to kill the other players so they could start a new session, Calvin caught Olivia off guard.
"Do you think my mom's dead?" He asked, looked at Olivia who was on the opposite end of the couch as her.
Olivia's eyebrows raised in surprise.
"Okay… maybe getting this game wasn't the best idea…" she tried to joke but saw the serious look on his face. "No, honey. I don't. I think she's just… out with Sarah… doing things…." She said.
"Drugs?" Calvin asked.
Olivia gave him a sad look.
"Yeah… I think it's a good possibility…. But, you know, just because someone does drugs, doesn't make them a bad person. They're just doing a bad thing. Good people do drugs… it's an addiction." Olivia tried to explain, not knowing exactly how much he'd be able to understand and comprehend.
"What if she comes back and tries to take me away…" He asked her.
Olivia put her remote down on the coffee table, realizing this was going to be a serious conversation and forgetting the game they were playing.
"If she's still on drugs, that won't be allowed. And I'm still trying to find your father…" She reminded him. Olivia had already broken the news to him that his DNA didn't come back as a match to anyone in their system.
"What if I don't want to go with her… even if she's clean… it'll just be a matter of time before she does drugs again…" Calvin said sadly.
"Hey, you don't know that…" Olivia replied, reaching over and giving his shoulder a brief squeeze.
"I'm happy here, Olivia. I… For the first time, I like where I am… and I know I complain about school but it's not that bad… and I have a couple of friends…. Real friends." He explained.
"I know… and I'm so happy for you." She replied, waiting for him to make his point, sensing that he had one.
"And I don't even know my dad… I don't want to live with a stranger. I like you and Trevor and…" Calvin began tearing up.
"Hey…" She called to him, scooting close to him. "What's wrong?"
"I… I want you to adopt me." Calvin said quickly, looking at Olivia with wide eyes.
"W-what?" She said, thinking she'd heard him wrong.
"I looked it up and… and on the internet it says if I've been with you for three months you can adopt me and it's almost been three months and I asked the therapist and he said that was right and that you could do it…" Calvin explained quickly, his words running together. He was talking so fast that Olivia barely understood him.
Olivia's mouth hung open. Had it really almost been three months already?
"I know you might not want to and if you don't that's okay and I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said-"
"Calvin," Olivia said calmly. "Take a deep breath." She said calmly, with a small smile. Calvin did as he was instructed. "That's good, keep doing that, it's alright." She cooed.
After a minute or so of getting him to calm down, she finally answered him.
"I would love to adopt you…" She said as her eyes began to water.
"But?" He asked, sensing that something else was coming.
"But you need to be sure. Once we go through with it, there is no undoing it. If we find your mom or dad, you'd still be my… my kid…" Olivia explained. "Why don't you take a few days to think about it, and if you're sure, then when the three months date is here, we'll get Trevor to help us draft and file the paperwork?" She suggested.
"Really?" Calvin asked in surprise, as if he was genuinely surprised that Olivia would want to officially adopt him.
"Yes… I would love to adopt you." She told him with a big smile, then leaned in to hug him tightly. "Anyone would be lucky to have you as a son, Calvin. Especially me." Olivia added as she continued to hug him. "I have grown to love you very much, Calvin, and if you want to be my son, I would be honored."
"I love you too, Olivia…" He mumbled into her shoulder.
Olivia's heart swelled. She had no idea that this had been on Calvin's mind or weighing on him so heavily.
So, a couple of weeks passed and when Calvin brought it up again, Olivia was ready, she was on board, and she'd already given Trevor a heads up. The attorney had been supportive and together, they all sat down to talk it out and hash out the paperwork.
Trevor set up a hearing in the judge's chambers to present the paperwork. Olivia had notified both Cragen and Fin. She needed witnesses to everything that'd happened and to the signing of the paperwork. She needed her captain and Fin to give their statements about how she'd done everything in her power to locate Vivian and Calvin's biological father.
Melinda verified that none of the DNA testing showed any matches.
After the seriousness of the situation was explained, the judge agreed to grant the adoption request quicker than most cases. Everyone was surprised but also relieved.
"Are you happy?" Olivia had asked Calvin once they'd gotten back to her apartment after their detour to the ice cream shop.
"Yeah…" Calvin nodded with a small smile.
"Anything you wanna talk about? You got any questions?" She asked him carefully as they sat down on the couch.
"My mom can't take me away from you now, right?" He asked cautiously.
"Right." Olivia replied confidently.
"No matter what?"
"No matter what." She agreed.
After a few minutes of silence, Calvin spoke again.
"I still love my mom…" He said.
"Hey, I know you do. And it's alright, she's still your mom." Olivia said, trying to tell him that it was okay. She knew this had been hard on them but between now and their first conversation about the adoption, they'd talked some more, and she'd come to the conclusion that they'd made the right decision.
Her home was a stable environment for him, she'd cut back her hours to spend time with him and make sure he was cared for. Living with her, Calvin got three meals a day, fun, and happiness. She loved him and he loved her. They'd grown a lot together within the past three months and while it seemed like a short amount of time to decide to make someone your son, she wouldn't have her life any other way than it was right now.
She and Calvin fit together perfectly.
They shared a close bond. Olivia was his friend but when she needed to step in and be a parent, she could, and he understood that above all, she only wanted what was best for him, and he knew to listen to her and do what she said when it came down to it.
He'd been on his own for so long, even with Vivian in his life and now, he finally had a chance to survive and thrive.
Calvin had yet to call her mom and Olivia had already told him that he didn't have to.
She'd wanted to tell Elliot and Munch. Olivia had been so fucking excited that she'd wanted to tell the world, but she and Calvin had agreed that they'd tell everyone else together. They'd played around with the idea of hosting a dinner one night with all of their closest friends and family and tell them, but they were still undecided.
"You're truly happy though, right?" Olivia tested.
"Yes." He replied quickly, wanting to reassure her that he was right where he wanted to be.
"Alright." She said and leaned over to kiss his head.
They spent the rest of the day talking and playing video games. Olivia was happy, she was truly happy. She used to think she needed Elliot to be fully happy in her life. Then she thought she needed Trevor. Now, she knows she needs Calvin in her life. He makes her smile and keeps her on her toes.
The only male that she truly needed in her life is sitting on the couch next to her, kicking her ass at video games.
…
PRESENT DAY:
After a few minutes, Elliot and Fin came back into and Trevor had already settled himself atop of Olivia's desk beside Calvin. He and Olivia had worked on calming the boy down and reassuring him that he wasn't going anywhere no matter what.
"He okay?" Fin asked as he approached the group.
Olivia nodded and gave Fin a weak smile.
"Thanks." She whispered as he came over.
She glanced at Elliot who'd kept his distance upon entering the room. Olivia knew she needed to talk with him, she knew he was having some emotions about the whole situation and there was no way that he'd missed the fact that Fin hadn't been in shock about the adoption.
"Guys, give me a minute." Olivia told the men. "I'll be right back, sweetheart…" She directed at Calvin as she got up and walked across the room towards Elliot, nodding her head towards the other hallway, silently telling him that she wanted him to follow her into an interrogation room to talk.
Elliot agreed and followed her lead.
They entered the room and Olivia shut the door, put the blinds down, and flipped the switch to make sure no one could eaves drop on them.
Elliot walked towards the table, leaning his ass against it and crossing his arms, waiting for her to speak.
She huffed as she leaned against the wall across from him, bracing herself with her hands.
"I'm sorry…" Olivia said quietly, looking at him. "I tried to tell you yesterday in the cribs, but Fin interrupted…"
Elliot nodded, staying quiet.
She couldn't tell if he was mad, sad, upset, or just not caring.
"Look," Olivia said softly, sighing. "We've grown as people… I'm… I'm finally a mom." She said. "And I'm not ashamed of it. I'm not sorry about it. I get to say that that little boy out there is my son." Olivia said as she pointed in the direction of the squad room where the other three guys were.
"I don't care if it makes me unattractive or if it means I'll never be able to hook a man and get married…" She explained. "I love that boy so fucking much… and he seems to love me."
Elliot's eyes narrowed in question as he stared at her.
"You think you're unattractive because you're a mom?" He asked.
"I know it's not exactly a man's dream to be with a woman who has a teenage son…" She replied, glancing around the room.
Elliot shook his head.
"Trevor's still here isn't he?" He said. "I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere." Elliot explained. "I'm just as attracted to you now as I have been the past ten years or so…" He said, causing Olivia to roll her eyes.
"What I'm saying is," Olivia tried to lay down the ground rules for her new-found motherhood. "Calvin is my priority now. Permanently. All of my free time goes to him. Not Trevor, not you, to him. I love him. He's the guy in my life and I'm gonna do my damnest to make sure he has the life he deserves."
Elliot snorted and got up from the table, reaching for Olivia. He grabbed her arm and pulled her to him in a hug.
"Take it from me." He said as she wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder. "You can still have a sex life when you have kids…" He said with a small laugh.
Olivia pulled back and looked at him in seriousness.
"El, your marriage is going down the drain. Months ago, when I had that conversation with Kathy, I saw the divorce papers on the dresser… I don't know if you've signed them or ripped them up again but that's what, the third or fourth time you and Kathy have had divorce papers drawn up?"
Elliot shook his head and pulled her to him again, hugging her tightly.
"My failing marriage has nothing to do with my kids or with sex. It's purely a thing between me and Kathy. That's all…" He explained.
"Or it could have something to do with you having an affair with your partner…" She mumbled into his shoulder.
He exhaled harshly.
"Don't go there…" He said, stroking her hair. "Today is a happy day, this week is a happy week…" He told her, pulling back and making her face him. "You have a son, you're a mom." He said with a big smile. "And I couldn't be happier for you."
"Really?" She asked, her eyes beginning to water.
"Of course… I'm sorry I've been such an ass lately…"
She nodded. "You have been a huge ass lately…" Olivia said laughing.
Elliot rolled his eyes and smiled.
They were face-to-face and she was looking into his eyes.
"I still miss you…" She whispered as her eyes drifted to his lips briefly.
Elliot nodded.
"I miss you so fucking much, Liv."
"We're different people now…" She said. "I'm a mom…" Olivia loved saying it, and she'd probably be saying that specific phrase to herself for the next few weeks, reminding herself that she was officially the mother of this amazing pre-teen boy.
He smiled. "You are…" Elliot stated. "You really wanna stop this thing between us?"
Olivia bit her lip.
"No…" She whispered, then leaned in and placed a quick peck against his lips.
"Because say the word and I won't touch you again. I won't flirt, I won't stare, I won't do anything, I swear." He promised her.
Olivia huffed.
"I like it when you touch me, when you flirt with me or check my ass out when I walk away…" She said. "But, I'm a mom now. I have Calvin. I need to be responsible. If we get caught, it'll be bad. Kathy could sue me… not to mention your kids could get hurt and I can't live with that, I just can't… MY kid could get hurt."
Elliot nodded in understanding.
"But I still care about you… very much." Olivia said, leaning up and kissing him again, this time with more passion.
After they pulled away, Elliot kept his eyes shut for a bit longer, trying to savor the moment.
"You gonna kick my ass if I say it?" He asked boldly.
Olivia gave him and unimpressed look.
"You can say it this once… but just this once…"
Elliot smiled, knowing it was hard for her to hear but she obviously liked to hear it at least to some extent if she was allowing him to say it.
"I love you, Liv…"
She exhaled once more and was on him quickly, her tongue was in his mouth and his arms wrapped around her shoulders quickly as they began a heated make out session. It was filled with passion and hunger.
Olivia backed off when she felt Elliot began to harden against her lower stomach.
"We need to get back out there, or else Fin is really gonna think we're fucking…" She said, joking.
Elliot shrugged but followed her through the door.
Olivia still had a long night ahead of her. She needed to go home and have a long conversation with Calvin. She needed to tell him what all had happened with his mom and dad as well as Sarah. She'd have to explain about why Sarah killed Burlock. It'd be all over the news by the morning anyways and she was glad she'd already planned to keep him from school.
Calvin knew what rape was, they'd covered that early on, but now she'd need to explain that Vivian was a product of rape and Olivia was sure Calvin would have questions. Which meant she'd probably open up to him and tell him about her own past. She didn't want to have any secrets with him and it was important to her that he know her past and who she was, where she'd come from and what all she'd overcome and conquered in her life, to an extent.
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