Losing my sanity along with my free time! AHHHHH! ;)

Pulling into the driveway at six in the morning, Dean turns off the engine and sighs. Long night.

But it's over. They both made mistakes. They talked it out. Now he just need to tell Sam about Martin and try to make sure he doesn't freak out about it and get too mad. Yeah… right….

Quietly as he can, Dean gets out of the Impala and heads for the house. He unlocks the door and peeks in, expecting to see Cass sitting in his chair he's always in overnight. Instead, he sees an empty chair and a stranger on the pullout couch fast asleep.

He has a moment of panic, not comfortable with a person he doesn't know in his house with his son there, but then he remembers the text conversation he had with Sam the day before. That must be Derek.

"Cass?" Dean whispers out into the house, not looking to wake the house guess. Nothing. "Cass!?"

"Dean."

He jumps and spins around sharply. Castiel is standing behind him, just a few inches away.

"Shit!" Dean bitches and shuts the front door without a sound. He takes the usual half a step back from the angel to speak to him more comfortably. "Hey, Buddy. Where'd you come from?"

"The roof. Derek wanted to sleep alone in the living room," Castiel explains. He looks out to the horizon across the street. "I planned to watch the sunrise. I haven't done that in far too long. It's a shame really."

"You mind healing Lizzy instead?"

"Not at all," Castiel responds and follows Dean to the passenger side of the car. Looking inside, he sees Lizzy laying across the front seat, her legs drawn in as she's still deeply asleep. Opening the door, Castiel presses a hand to her head to read her injuries. "She's concussed."

"Hard," Dean nods.

"And she's getting a cold," Castiel comments as a light glows from his palm and presses to her head. Soon enough, the glow stops and it's done. "She's fine now."

"Cass, you're a lifesaver," Dean tells him, clapping him in the shoulder.

"On occasion."

"So, how'd Sammy do?" Dean asks, eyes lighting up with the mention of his boy. "He behave?"

"Yes, of course," Castiel nods. "He's a good child."

"Yeah. He is," Dean grins with pride. "So, seriously, he didn't give you a hard time about anything? Not even food?"

"Well, he likes pizza a lot," Castiel informs him. "He mostly survived off of cheese pizza the whole time you were gone."

Dean blinks once. "You only fed him pizza?"

"It's the only thing he asked for," Castiel returns with, as if this would be news to Dean. "Well, aside from chicken nuggets the first night. I had never cooked chicken nuggets before and, well… it didn't go all that well."

Dean blinks once and then asks, "How did you manage to mess up precooked, frozen chicken nuggets?"

"They turned black."

"You burnt them," Dean corrects.

"Yes."

"So, your answer to that was to order pizza the whole weekend?"

"Yes… but he had cereal for breakfast each day. And ice cream after the park to make up for my mistake."

Dean washes a hand down his face with the building headache. "What mistake?"

"Oh, well, Samuel's friend Megan showed up at the park and their play date ended up being cut short when her mother rushed home once she deemed me inappropriate."

"I'm guessing you spoke to her? Megan's mom?" Dean is getting a picture.

"Yes," Castiel answer with delight. "It was a lovely conversation until she ran off. In fact, I think she was possibly being flirtatious with me." Castiel smiles awkwardly and bumps Dean with his elbow.

This has Dean grinning widely with the surprising information. "Oh, yeah?"

"Yes."

"You dog," Dean laughs. "And now I know why Megan's mom probably ran off."

"Why?"

"Cass, dude… you don't know how to talk to women," Dean gives him the truth with a clap on the back.

"I speak to women all the time," Castiel reminds him. "Some on a daily basis."

"Very true, but you don't know how to flirt with women. You probably said something that she took wrong and it freaked her out."

"Yes," Castiel nods with his eyes aimed at the ground. "I have a feeling you're right about that."

"Hey, I've been there," Dean jokes, leaning down to wake Lizzy up. "Just consider yourself lucky you didn't get slapped." He reaches out and touches Lizzy's shoulder. "L? L, wake up."

Lizzy moves a little in her sleep and her eyes open slowly. Looking out the passenger side door to see Dean shaking her leg to wake her, she asks, "Hm? We home?"

"Yeah. And Cass already healed you. Come on out."

With her hand clasped in his, Dean helps Lizzy out of the car. She blinks with the rising sun and looks at the angel. "Hey, Cass. Thanks for healing me up… again."

"You know it's my pleasure." He nods with a small yet fond grin.

"How was Sammy for you?"

"Very good. And exhausting."

"Sounds about right," Lizzy grins wide. She squints a little and looks to the house, the whole structure still and quiet before the sun comes up. "Everyone's asleep?"

"Yes. Samuel has probably another hour," Castiel answers with ease, knowing the child so well after their time together.

"Well, okay," Lizzy grins, impressed. She then crosses her arms over her chest and glances at the house once more before asking, "Is Derek here still?"

"Asleep on the couch."

Her eyes find the angel's. "Is he… mad at me?"

"For what?"

"For, I don't know, taking his sister away from him right after they lost their parents?" she wonders aloud the thing that's worried her for a near decade. "For getting his parents killed in the first place? For Lou choosing me over him?"

Castiel's head tilts and his face softens just a touch. "I don't think he views the situation like you do. At all. I think, more than anything, he's quite happy to be here. With his sisters. And his new family."

Lizzy bites her lip and lets her eyes wander to the front door with concern. "You sure about that?"

"Very much so. In fact, I think it would be best if you went in there now, talked to him before everyone else gets up," Castiel explains. "From what I saw of him yesterday, he's very receptive to the idea of a reunion."

Lizzy pauses, delaying the inevitable. Dean can see the concern and anxiety building quickly in her. He places a hand on her shoulder. "Want me to come?"

"No," Lizzy immediately answers him. "I'll be… not fine. But it's Derek, you know? He's family. I need to do this."

Dean leans down and gives her a quick kiss before she heads towards the house. From her body language alone, he can tell she's nervous. He just hopes it goes well.

Once the front door is closed, Lizzy in the house, Dean leans back against his car and looks at Castiel. They need to stall and give Derek and Lizzy some time. "So, you ate pizza and went to the park to piss off single moms. Anything else good happen?"

Castiel turns to face his friend and he sighs. "Not really."

"That's good. Sammy can be difficult in his own way. Glad he took it easy on you."

"Yes, well…" Castiel trails off, his mind elsewhere as he thinks about the past few days. He then narrows his eyes at Dean. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

Dean's back straightens with the unexpected question. "Uh… I guess so."

"Do you think it's smart to leave your sexual implements in a drawer that's fully accessible to your two year old son?"

Eyes wide with shock, Dean stays silent for a beat. Then he tries to speak. "I… you just… um, what?"

"Samuel showed me a drawer in your bedroom that contained… inappropriate items for him to be seeing."

"Cass, every couple has a sex drawer, okay?" Dean explains easily, playing it off like this isn't uncomfortable at all. "It's not a big deal."

"I feel you should hide your… things better."

"Maybe your right about that," Dean relents easily, knowing Sammy's found that drawer before. "And I'll tell L we need to move it. But it's not like it's shameful."

"How would you feel if when you were a child you found a drawer filled with phallic objects and sexually revealing costuming that was linked to your own mother and father."

Dean's face scrunches in disgust. The light bulb goes off. "Fair enough. We'll be moving the drawer."

"Thank you," Castiel nods slightly, happy to get Dean to agree to something he thought necessary. "Can I ask something else?"

"Not without scaring me," Dean jokes.

"Why was there a Zorro mask in with the things you like to incorporate during sexual play?" Castiel wonders, the mystery having been something he's pondered for days. "I get the maid outfit. And the school girl outfit…."

"You get a warrant for that search, Cass?" Dean asks, uncomfortable with how much Castiel found and paid attention to.

"I know I'm not all that well-versed in human mating rituals, but what I saw I can manage to figure out. But the Zorro mask…."

"Don't think to hard on it, buddy," Dean stands tall and pats Castiel on the back before heading to the trunk to grab their bags. "Sexuality is a complicated, mysterious thing. I don't know why I like to wear a Zorro mask while L rides me and slaps me in the face while I come. Honestly, I'm not sure I want to know why I like it. But I know I like it." Dean shrugs and opens the trunk.

"Is that why you also had videos of Japanese cartoon women being penetrated by tentacle monsters?"

Deans' head pops up over the open trunk to stare at Castiel with horror. "How did you find that!?"

"Samuel did," Castiel answers simply. "In the back of your closet behind several boxes."

"First of all, no more letting my kid rummage through my room," Dean spells out the new rules. "And second of all… yeah, I have no idea why I like that either."

"But you know you do?" Castiel pries on.

"Oh, yeah," Dean nods wholeheartedly.

"Hm… well then, I guess sex is much like all other human behaviors. As long as you aren't hurting others, then do what you like."

Dean snaps and points at his friend. "Exactly."

Castiel nods and looks down at the ground, his mind whirling with thoughts.

Dean keeps unpacking bags, setting aside the one weapon filled bag to be unloaded in the back of the shed that's triple locked in the backyard. The weapons never go into the house.

"Can ask one more thing?" Castiel suddenly speaks up.

"I already told you too much, so what the hell. Shoot," Dean rolls his eyes, hefting the weapon bag over his should and starts walking for the backyard, Castiel following close behind.

"You had hunting equipment in that drawer."

"Huh?" Dean questions, confused.

"Rope, handcuffs… I think I saw a roll of tape…."

"Ah," Dean nods, a smile on his face with the images that come to mind right away. "You know what? Why don't you ask L about those items."

"Elizabeth?" Castiel wonders with surprise.

"She ain't all that innocent, Cass. And she likes her own things when it comes to sex."

"Oh…" Castiel trails off, having assumed most of that drawer was about Dean as he's never been shy about his proclivities for sex and adventure. "But those are restraining items."

"Yes…" Dean gets a faraway look in his eyes as his mind wandser. "They are."

Castiel pauses and looks to Dean with a curious and horrified face, not getting what it is Dean is doing to his most beloved human.

When Castiel doesn't follow, Dean stops and turns back to look at his concerned face. "Dude, relax. I would never do anything to L she wouldn't want me to do. Trust me on that. Lizzy just… she used to think being restrained was great. Then hunting happened and it made her too nervous to enjoy. Now… well, she trusts me. And I give her what she wants."

"Which is being restrained during sex?" Castiel asks, shocked.

"Yeah. Oh, yeah," Dean exaggerates, already itching to use said items with the conversation they've had.

"Human sexuality is very complicated."

"You said it, man," Dean laughs and keeps walking, Castiel following. As they go, his face drops when something important dawns on him. "Hey, uh… can we keep the anime porn a secret between us… and Sammy?"

"Anime porn?" Castiel asks.

"The tentacles…."

"Ah, yes," Castiel nods, understanding. He stops with Dean when they reach the shed and Dean uses a few keys on his key ring to open the three locks on it. "Elizabeth does not know about the tentacles?"

"Um… no," Dean simply says, shaking his head and walking into the shed, hoping to end the conversation right then and there.

"I thought you told Elizabeth everything?" Castiel asks, still following. "That you trust her."

Dean sighs and closes his eyes a second. "Almost everything. Like, ninty-nine percent of everything."

"Except this one thing?"

"Except this one thing," Dean echoes. When Castiel stares at him, waiting for further explanation, Dean sighs again. "It's embarrassing, okay? I just never told her about the weird anime stuff. So, if we can keep that between us?"

Thinking quickly, all while staring Dean down, Castiel simply says, "She'd make fun of you mercilessly."

"In a heart beat," Dean drops his shoulder, feeling better that Castiel gets it.

"Your secret will remain safe with me then," Castiel vows. "I know she can be relentless when she finds a personal detail overly humerus. It isn't fun."

"No it's fucking not," Dean emphatically agrees. "Thanks, man."

Castiel just nods once more and they put the weapons and supplies away in the shed where they both know Sammy will be safe from them.

"You know, Cass, you could always give it a go," Dean suggests after a moment of silence between them.

Head tilted, the angel scrunches his face and asks, "Watching tentacle porn?"

"No," Dean shakes his headwith a laugh. "I was talking about sex. You could, you know… try it."

Silence hits again as Castiel doesn't know what to say. The thought is terrifying. "We tried that before."

"I know…"

"At that brothel," He reminds his friend. "You tried to force me to have sex with that prostitute…."

"Come on," Dean interrupts. "Forced?"

"Yes."

"I highly urged you to give it a go," Dean corrects him as he locks the shed up again. "I never said you had to."

"I was uncomfortable," Castiel clarifies. "This is a human activity and I am not human."

"So what?" Dean shrugs. "Wasn't your brother, Gabriel, banging chicks left and right?"

"Gabriel is… complicated," Castiel leave it at that because explaining that particular angel is nearly impossible.

"Yeah, but he was having sex with women and enjoying life," Dean points out. "All I'm saying is, the rule book is gone. We kinda tossed that out ourselves when we took a steaming crap on Revelation, okay? You're free do whatever… and whoever… you want. And this last conversation makes me think you're curious about sex."

"I'm curious about a lot of things concerning humanity… particularly since my closest kin are humans," Castiel easily explains.

Dean's hit in the heart by this. "Well, as your closest kin, I say do whatever you want. Just think about it, huh?"

Castiel's eyes focus off in the distance, brain deep in thought.

"Come on," Dean nods his head to the back sliding door of the house. "Sammy will be up soon. Help me make pancakes."

Castiel's hands fly from his sides with relief. "Finally. How do you make pancakes!? Samuel's been asking all week for them!"

After quietly creeping into the house, Lizzy found Derek asleep on the pullout couch. She walked over to him, sat on the coffee table, and watching him in his sleep for a moment as her nerves took over the second she got a good look at the young man. He looks the same as ever, just older. Same sandy brown hair, still cut short yet now more stylishly even after being messed up in the night, and he still has those freckles that only show up after time in the sun. Lizzy has those too. She now knows they are hereditary.

Lizzy last saw Derek when he was mid-puberty. That gangly dork was just painful, always clumsy. And he was in the closet then. She remembers clearly knowing, just from always being around him and observing him, that Derek was gay. He never acted in any obvious way, the stereotypes not fitting him at all, but his eyes never really landed on the hot women around him. They always landed on the cute boys.

She hopes he's out now. She hopes he's been healthy and happy.

Well, happy until now.

Now he's in the fold and Lizzy has to carry the weight of yet another person she loves being involved in a very scary world all because of her fate.

With a deep breath, Lizzy reaches out and touches his shoulder through his blanket, shaking lightly. Time to get this over with.

Derek inhales sharply, his eyes opening slightly.

"Derek?" Lizzy calls out his name very softly, not looking to startle him awake too badly.

"Hm? What?" he asks, shaking his head and darting his sight around. His eyes stop the second they land on Lizzy. "Lizard?"

"Hey, kid," Lizzy half smiles as her stomach flips with nerves. She's prepared for anything. Yelling, anger, even violence. She's ready to duck if items get hurled.

But nothing like that happens. Instead, Derek's eyes soften as he sits up. "Lizard. Oh, my god!" He scrambles to the edge of the pullout mattress before leaning forward towards her. Arms out, he grabs her hard in a tight hug.

Lizzy freezes with the arms around her. Shocked, she doesn't know what to do at first. This is the opposite of what she'd assumed.

Hands tentatively on his back, Lizzy starts to hug back after a moment.

"I missed you," Derek half-laughs, half-cries in confession.

"What!?" Lizzy huffs with disbelief. "I thought you were gonna kill me!"

"Kill you!?" Derek asks, letting the hug end but instead grabbing her shoulders. "Why!?"

"I stole your sister," Lizzy breaks down the second she's eye to eye with him. "I got your parents killed and then… Lou came with me instead of stay with you. I got her killed. Derek, I'm so sorry…."

"Are you fucking serious right now?" Derek laughs at her.

"Yes!"

"Jesus, you really gotta relax, Lizzy," Derke smiles. "I'm not mad at you."

"You wouldn't talk to me for years!" Lizzy accuses, hating how he's taking everything so lightly after she's beat herself up for years over this.

"I wasn't… aware," Derek explains. "But I think having a demon follow my ass and then spill state secrets about my sister and the husband I didn't know she had right before I watch my very first exorcism… I think that shit changed my mind."

"Wait…" Lizzy interrupts. "States secrets?"

"Louie will fill you in when she's up," Derek assures. "She's been dying for you to get back. She's got a lot to hash out with you but I think it'll help if we sort our crap first."

"Fair enough," Lizzy says, a brand new boulder of dread in her gut that she'll have to deal with later. "Look, I know you are mad, or you were for years. And honestly, you should have been. I'm really sorry I took Louie from you. And Jane and Brian…."

"Wasn't your fault," Derek gets very serious. "You loved them, too. Just like I loved Cathy and Paul. Our parents didn't deserve what happened to them but none of it was your fault. None."

"I've never truly believed that," Lizzy wipes her eyes.

"You need to start to."

"Maybe," she nods.

"And… I'm sorry I didn't talk to you forever," Derek keeps going. "I love you, Lizzy. I may have sucked at showing you, but still. You're the sister I never wanted."

"Thanks," Lizzy rolls her eyes.

"I'm serious. The past couple days have been eye opening and…" Derek stops. The front door opens and puts a halt to their conversation.

"Everyone good in here?" Dean asks as he pops just his head in.

"We're good," Lizzy nods, wiping her eyes one more time before standing up. "Dean, meet my half-brother Derek."

Derek stands up as Dean enters the room, bags over his shoulder and trench-coated angel in tow. Watching as the stunning yet perfectly gruff man drops the luggage and heads his way, Derek smiles slickly to himself.

"Hey, Derek," Dean grins, looking to be friendly. "Nice to finally meet you."

Derek eagerly takes his hand and shakes it, eyes glancing at Lizzy and giving her the silent you-go-girl. She gives a warning look in return. His eyes return to Dean and smiles wider. "Dean, it is an absolute pleasure to meet you."

"Well, any family of L's…" Dean trails off.

"Mm," Derek hums, impressed. "I was warned about you."

"Warned?" Dean asks, eyes wide.

"Yes, you. You're just my type," Derek breaks out into a massive smile as he watches Dean become uncomfortable within the sudden scrutiny.

"I… um…"

"My god, you look strong," Derek mentions, running his hands down Dean's shoulders and upper arms as he just stands there, unsure. "And you have the most stunning eyes, Dean."

"Uh… thanks," Dean says taking a step back. He looks to Lizzy for help but he finds that his wife is doing everything she can to hold in her laugh.

"Okay," Lizzy bursts and giggles out. "Go easy, Derek. And I guess you're out now."

"And proud of it," he winks at Dean.

"Good," Lizzy continues to laugh.

"You did alright, Lizard. I approve."

"No shit," she rolls her eyes and then looks to the stairs when she hears small feet making their way down from the second floor.

"Mommy!"

"Baby!" Lizzy shouts right back and rushes across the room to her son the second she sees him. She scoops him up as he hugs her around the neck hard. He's grinning wide with honest excitement. Lizzy squeezes him harder than she probably should. "Oh, I missed you so much!"

"I miss you too, mommy," he tells her very truthfully, his little arms squeezing back just as hard.

"Were you a good boy for Cassie?" she asks him, pulling him onto her hip to talk to him.

"Yes! We had fun and ate pizza and went to the park and then I meeted Derek. Auntie Louie says he's my Uncle just like Uncle Sam."

"He is!" she agrees right away.

"Mornin' kid!" Derek greets and waves from next to the couch.

"Hi, Uncle Derek," he smiles, eyes landing on his father standing next to him. "Daddy!"

"Sammy!" Dean yells right back and rushes right over to him, stealing him from Lizzy. "How's it going, dude?"

"Good, daddy! We have pancakes?"

"You hungry?" Dean asks.

"Yeah!"

"Okay, let's do it!"

Without another second of prompting, Dean marches right for the kitchen. He forgoes the bags on the floor and the new family member in the living room. He hasn't seen his boy in days and it's been shitty since he left. Fuck everything. It's time for pancakes with his dude.

"Kinda whipped, ain't he?" asks Derek, eyes following Dean.

"You should see what a fucking puppy he is for me," Lizzy smirks. "And, uh… lay off my husband, alright?"

"Why would I!?" Derek gets mad at the suggestion.

"Because he's mine!" she laughs and shoves Derek in the shoulder. "He's my soul mate."

"Maybe he needs a male soul mate, too." Her shrugs and grins mischievously.

"I don't share," she warns fairly and pulls him arm towards the kitchen. "Come on. Dean's pretty good at making breakfast."

"Of course, he cooks too," Derek feigns upset at his loss and allows himself to be dragged to a decent homemade meal.