Hi everyone. In this chapter, Helga attempts to talk to Rodrigo about her issue with Phoebe, while Rodrigo draws a parallel line between his life and hers...

On that cold autumn morning, as Rodrigo gathered his school material for today's classes, he couldn't help but wonder why Helga had texted him to ride the bus together. Needless to say, he was surprised, as Helga would either go with Phoebe or on her own. Regardless of the reason, he got himself ready, got out of his house, hopped on the bus and went.

When the bus stopped to pick up Helga and other students, Rodrigo waved at her to signal to her where he was. Helga saw him and approached him and sat beside him.

"Morning." he said rather cheerfully.

"Hey." was all she said back.

From the very onset, it became clear to Rodrigo that Helga was not in a good mood. She had a frowning face, and did not even seem to be in a talking mood. Nevertheless, Rodrigo tried to make conversation, but all she responded back were one or two words or she would remain silent. Seeing this, Rodrigo relented on conversing with her and just tried to enjoy her company. Yet, he was curious to know why Helga even invited him to accompany her in going to school with her if she did not even want to talk.

Helga had stated in her text to him that Phoebe was unable to take the bus with her. Rodrigo had noticed that Phoebe had been awfully busy lately, so much so that he had seen Helga wondering the school alone. If Phoebe was not doing her school work, then she was involved in some of her after school activities or hanging out with Gerald. She was a busy woman. Yet, thinking about Phoebe's busy schedule only made Rodrigo more confused into wondering why Helga invited him to go to school together. Did she really invite him because she just wanted his company or did she had something important to talk about? Or, as he was starting to suspect, she just wanted someone to tag along with her and she figured Rodrigo was a 'secondary' choice, not a person she would have liked to hang out.

Whatever the case, he decided to just sit there and just enjoy the company.

Actually, I'm rather enjoying just sitting here with her. It's not bad at all. He thought, as he made himself more comfortable and tilted his hat downward to his nose, appearing as he was sleeping.

Ever since Helga revealed her pink bow to him, he had felt guilty for 'forcing her' to do so, despite her reassurance that this was her choice. Nevertheless, he ensured that moving forward, he would no longer make any serious attempt to get her to talk to him about anything personal. He decided to be more patient with her and allow her to talk about herself at her pace, not his. He realized that she has issues with telling people about herself and felt that any attempt to force it out from her was counterproductive.

Just then, they saw Stinky, Sid and Harold hopping on the bus. Rodrigo simply waved at them and they them back to him, but they sat midway into the bus, while he and Helga were at the far back. Rodrigo couldn't help but remember what he had discussed with them about their relationship with Helga and how distant they are with each other. It really bothered him how this lack in intimacy in their friendship have become the norm.

Rodrigo would occasionally, through the corner of his eye, look at Helga to see if there were any signs of change in her mood; there wasn't any. She kept on frowning and remained silent, as if she was concentrating. But concentrating on what?

The way she looks, it is as if she is restraining herself, but from what? What is she so angry about? He thought.

As they were approaching the school, Rodrigo then proceed to make a comment,

"You know, if you continue to bottle it up inside, you will eventually explode." without looking at her.

As predicted, Helga said nothing.

Once the bus made its stop, everyone got off the bus. Once off, Rodrigo then decide to say genuinely,

"Well thanks for the company, Helga. I'll see you in history class. See ya." And then he went on his way.

Well it was enjoyable, but also useless. He thought himself. What was that all about? Why is she acting so weird?

During lunchtime...

Rodrigo was making his way towards the lunchroom when he saw Helga nearby. He stopped and waited for her to catch up so they can go together, when a male student suddenly appeared and started walking beside her, complimenting her looks and asking for her number.

"Back off." Helga warned him without even looking at him.

"Oh come on girl, don't be like that. All I am asking is your number so we can talk." The male student said.

"In your dreams. I'm not going to tell you again, back off." she said with a very serious tone.

Rodrigo looked on with a bit of amusement.

This guy is really going to get it if he doesn't back off right now. He thought.

"Oh come on cutie, don't act all defensive like that." Just as he said that, he took his arm and gently wrapped it around Helga's shoulders. That did it.

Uh oh. Rodrigo thought.

Like a lightning strike, Helga punched the guy right into his stomach so hard that he almost collapsed on the floor.

"Don't ever put your hands on me again." She warned him.

This all happened merely a few feet away from Rodrigo. As she continued to walk, she was just passing him when the male student got up and started walking towards her again, only this time, he was pissed and it looked like he was about to start something.

Before he got close to her, Rodrigo walked in between the two and said to him,

"Dude, I know what you're thinking and it's not worth it. Just go the other way and forget what happened here. I'll do the same, no harm done; otherwise you will lose more than just your lunch."

The student stood there for a while, contemplating if he should fight Rodrigo in order to get to Helga. However thankfully, he relented and walked the other way while scowling at Rodrigo.

Once the student was far way, Rodrigo turned around and to his surprise and annoyance, realized that Helga had continued walking to the lunchroom, not even bothering to stop for him to catch up.

After a few minutes, Rodrigo entered the lunchroom and after making his usual greeting, sat down, looked at Helga and then bluntly said to her sarcastically,

"Oh by the way, I'm fine. Thanks for stopping and checking up on me to see if I was ok."

"My hero. Quit your whining, I didn't ask for your help. Besides, I knew you had it all under control." Helga retorted back.

Typical. He thought.

During their history class, Rodrigo did not bother to speak to Helga and vise-versa throughout the entire session. He wasn't angry, more like confused. She had asked him to ride to school together this morning, only to not speak with him and to later scoff him for helping her with that male student. In the end, he stopped wondering about it and just decided to get on with his day. After all, Helga was just being Helga...

End of school...

When class ended, Rodrigo met up with Stinky, Sid and Harold. He was actually looking forward to hanging out with them during their bus ride home. It was a welcoming substitution really, as this would allow Rodrigo to relax and be more himself in a group that is more...relaxing in its outlook on life.

Unfortunately, his hopes for a quiet and joyful ride home were dashed when Helga approached him, tapped him on his shoulder and asked,

"Hey, do you got a minute?"

Oh now she wants to talk? He thought with a bit of annoyance. He was really looking forward to just relaxing, and laugh and forgot any crap that life throws at you. However, he knew that he couldn't pass up on helping someone, even if it was Helga. Like Arnold, he was always ready to help people out and he took pride in that.

"Ya I do, what's up?" he asked.

"Do you feel like taking for a walk?" she asked him.

The morning weather was bitterly cold, with it being very cloudy and windy. However, by noon, the clouds had almost disappeared, allowing the sun the shine right through. By the time class ended, the winds have stopped and with the sun shining away. It was just barely warm enough to enjoy one last walk.

"Ya, sure, let's go." He then turned to his friends and exclaimed, "Hey guys, sorry but I have to bail out on you guys today. I'll make up for it tomorrow!"

After saying their goodbyes, both teens then started walking home. However, Helga remained silent during the first few minutes, confounding Rodrigo.

I swear if this woman does not talk soon, I'm going to say something to her. I'm not going to allow her to just pull me in whatever direction she want me to. I'm not her pet; I'm not Phoebe!

Gerald had told Rodrigo about how Helga had previously treated Phoebe when they were kids. From his understanding, Phoebe sounded more like Helga's servant than her best friend. However, Gerald did confirm how Helga, on many occasions, would not only help Phoebe whenever she was trouble, but had demonstrated that she really did care for her as her best friend. It was a bit of a paradox and Rodrigo had not had the chance to ask Phoebe about this.

As they continued to walk, Rodrigo noticed that Helga still contained her frowned face, however, he noticed an additional facial feature. He noticed that her frowned face was not one of anger, rather it was one of sadness. It was not easy to spot it, but one would have to examine her entire face, especially her blue eyes in order to see that she was angry because she was sad. Sad about what? Regardless of this discovery, Rodrigo was about to say something to break the silence, when Helga finally spoke.

"Who was your best friend?"

What? Best friend? Why is she asking me this? Why does she care? Does this have something to do with Phoebe? He thought.

Now it was his turn to take his time to answer. This was not a simple thing to discussion, so he prepare himself before he spoke.

"I never really had a best friend. I had a close friend, but never someone whom I could always talk to." he confessed.

Helga was taken aback by this. She had assumed that everyone would have a best friend. Heck even she had a best friend.

"Why not?" she asked while looking at him.

"I was never able to trust him with things. He was a nice guy and a good friend, but he was sometimes immature, judgemental and said a lot of things, even if he was joking, that were hurtful. I never had the confidence that he had the maturity or the wisdom to not only help me out, but just to hear me out. Gerald had told me how he and Arnold would talk to each other about anything, that there were no secrets between them. Phoebe had also said something similar between you two. Unfortunately I never had that experience." He explained. "Why do you ask?"

Helga was no longer sure if she should bother him with her concern. She didn't think that he would understand. However, it was already too late to not ask him. She had wanted to discuss this issue with him in the morning during their ride to school, but was hesitating the whole time; afraid that he would not only understand, but also that she would be compelled to reveal more about herself to him. However, before she could respond, Rodrigo added to his question,

"Does this have something to do with Phoebe?"

"Whhyy do you say that?" she asked him nervously.

"Well, because I have been noticing that Phoebe is not really hanging out with you as before. I know she is a busy girl, but I can't help but feel that you guys seem to be a little...distant." he said.

Finally, she relented. She needed someone to speak to about this. Normally, she could always talk to Phoebe, but obviously that was no longer the case.

"Yes it does. It's just that..umm...we have been distant...and it has been bothering me. I can understand why it is happening, but I still feel..umm...not alone, but just...ignored." she said.

Rodrigo continued walking as he listened to her. He was surprised not because she was speaking to him about something important, but just how hard it is for her to even talk about it. She was very nervous.

"Why do you think that is?" he asked.

Despite that Helga had told him how devastated she was when Arnold left and how she isolated herself from everyone, except Phoebe who helped her, she never went into any serious details on just how crucial Phoebe played during those serious months.

She now had no choice but to tell him about it. Yet, why was she going to telling him? Why had she even bothered to speak to him about this?

I already know why Phoebe and I have been a little...distant. I'm aware of that and I understand that she wants to live her life. Yet, I am still bothered by that and worse I am somehow drawn to Rodrigo to talk to him about it. Why, apart from the fact that I 'need' to talk to someone? I guess it is maybe because, despite how much I push him away, he is still there to help me. Crimeny, he IS just like Arnold! Is that why I want to talk to him about this? I guess, it is because I can trust him, trust him to not walk away. And I know he is not Arnold, but I'm conflicted if I want to talk to him because he reminds me of him or because I can trust him as a friend, as Rodrigo. She thought frustratingly.

"I told you before that when Arnold left, how much it affected me and how it took many months just to grasp with the reality. But I omitted how much Phoebe has helped me during that time. She practically saved my life. I don't think I would be here if it wasn't for her." She confessed while looking down at the pavement.

When Rodrigo said nothing, she continued,

"During that summer, Phoebe would come over to my house almost every day, making sure I would eat, have someone to talk to and sometimes, have someone to comfort me. I wouldn't say I contemplated suicide, but I did contemplate in hurting myself, several times. She practically had no summer that year; she took care of me."

"She didn't try to bathe me, mind you." She said smiling, trying to make a joke from her otherwise sad story. "But she made sure I would actually take a bath by reminding me and helping me out of my bed."

"Whenever she was not able come over, she would call me and we would speak on the phone. Sometimes the calls lasted only a few minutes, other times an hour or two. The times when she did come over, she would often bring food for me."

"About a week before school started, I gathered enough strength to realize just how much my situation had affected her. By that stage, she was not only completely exhausted, she was emotionally drained. I could see it in her eyes. She ended up talking to me almost as a robot, and unable to pay attention to even the smallest details. Yet, throughout this whole ordeal, she never complained, never frowned or scowled at me. Just took it like a champ and she marched on to help me. I knew that with school starting soon, she needed to prepare herself and at that point, she was in no condition to start the year. She would have failed her classes. So I pulled whatever strength I had and told her to stop coming over my house and to start taking care of herself. Surprisingly she protested, but I was firm and she eventually relented. She got some much needed sleep and got all of her class materials and resources. I even went with her to school to get our agendas early on. I was still in no condition to be left alone, but I knew that it was the best for her. She helped me long enough, as any friend should. She still helped me, especially when school started, but it was no longer with the same intensity and commitment as during that summer. Gradually, as I was able to get out of my depression, I needed less and less of her help."

"Needless to say, this whole thing took its toll on her and when I was fully able to be independent and be on my own, she took the opportunity to do whatever she wanted to do. She hangout more with Gerald, took more after school activities etc.

Where were her parents during all of this?! He thought angrily. He already knew the answer, but he felt compelled to ask her anyways.

"Helga, where were your parents during all of this?" he asked with serious tone while looking straight ahead.

Helga could tell that Rodrigo was becoming angry at the thought that her parents completely ignored her during this serious time period. He was showing it in his face; he was seriously frowning, almost showing his teeth.

"They were around, but largely ignored me. I didn't show them my condition. I usually just stayed in my room and whenever I have to come down, I acted as normally as I could." she said.

Rodrigo then stopped walking and simply looked down the floor, his anger reaching the boiling point.

"You mean to tell me that you attempted to hurt yourself and your parents did not have the courtesy to at least look after you during that time? Your best friend ended up doing what was essentially their job?" he asked rhetorically.

He several deep breathes, trying desperately not to explode. Eventually, unable to withstand it, he suddenly started to violently kick a public trash can. He hit it so hard that he dislodged it from the pole that was holding it down.

Helga looked on and waited for him to calm down. She wasn't sure what to make of this. She didn't know if she should be flattered that Rodrigo cared that much about her situation or if she should be ticked off that he was fuming over something that was not his problem. Even Arnold did not show that much anger toward her parents. True, he didn't like them for the way they were treating her, but he also knew that they may their own issues that they still needed to deal with.

Yet, it would have been nice if Arnold did exhibit some anger in the way Rodrigo is showing right now. I guess it shows that just how much my parent's neglect is affecting him. She thought.

"I'm sorry Helga, but I honestly cannot stand how your parents are so neglectful. You're right, had it not been for Phoebe, you wouldn't be here right now." he said, while looking away, attempting to hide the hurt he felt for her.

Despite her ambivalent feelings, she decided to say, "It's alright. Thanks for caring at least."

Once he calmed down a bit, they started walking again. Rodrigo asked her to continue. Helga then told him about the incident that happened between her and Gerald more than three years ago and how upsetting it was for Phoebe. She explained that she realized that their friendship started to become distant on that day, when she almost beat up her boyfriend for trying to help her and how neither of them have ever mentioned it again.

"I see." said Rodrigo.

"I just want to make amends with her, but I'm unsure on how to do that." she said.

I'm not sure why she is asking for help on this. It is pretty obvious what she must do in order to make amends. She has to speak with her and apologize. I think that must be why, because she does not want bring up a painful subject to Phoebe. he thought.

"I'll be direct with you Helga. I think you do know. You have to speak to her about it."

"I'm afraid I might hurt her if I bring it up."

*sigh* "Helga, you don't have to worry about that; she is already hurt." he said.

Helga said nothing and merely absorbed the hard truth.

He's right, I've already hurt her. I have to talk to her and apologize. She thought.

"I'm sorry if I was being too direct." he added.

"No, you're right. There is no sense in hiding it. It's the truth. I was just afraid of bringing it up to her. I know she is not going to take it kindly to remind her of this, but it is affecting our friendship and I just don't want to lose her." she said.

"You won't Helga. Despite how hurt she may have been, she still was there for you when you needed someone after Arnold left. So at least that must mean that she still cares about you deeply. Phoebe is a rational person and I know that she will accept your apology. It is never too late to apologize." he assured her.

"Thanks Latino boy." she said with a smile.

"You know, you really shouldn't be so hard on yourself. I know you have made mistakes, but you are not the only one. We all have made mistakes. You are not alone in this." he said

"Apparently not everyone thinks so." she countered.

"They don't know you that well. But you can't blame them for that." he said.

"It's a hard position for them to be in. They only see what you allow them to see and unfortunately that's all they have to go by. If it wasn't for Phoebe or Arnold, I think it would have been worse, so you can't hold it against them for being a bit biased towards you." he added.

"I don't really. It would be nice if they weren't so judgemental. I mean, Arnold was able to see past my though exterior without me really revealing anything." she said.

"And therein lies the paradox. Not everyone can be as observant, or as patient as Arnold. What did you expect them to do if all they see is your tough exterior and whenever they try to get close, you just scowl at them? When I first arrived and realized the nature of your predicament with our friends, I thought for sure that it was just a serious misunderstanding, one that I thought I could easily resolve. But now I realize that it is a serious complication that I cannot untangle it unless someone comes forward first." said Rodrigo.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Despite what you have gone through, I cannot blame them for acting they way they being distant towards you, but I also I cannot blame you for not trusting them. I understand both situations and it has become a vicious cycle. The only way I can see it breaking is if either you or someone in our group comes forward and realizes their mistake. I guess that is what Arnold has been waiting for. I always wondered why he never tried to either get you or them to move with this, but now I see why and it not an easy decision." he explained.

"Hm, interesting. I saw Gerald on that Friday night when you guys went to the arcade. I don't know what you guys spoke about, but he apologized to me for not giving me a proper chance, to see me the way Arnold and Phoebe did and not judge me so much for what I did in the past." she pointed out.

"Oh really? That is interesting! What happened after?" he asked.

"I was surprised and attempting to be bold, I offered to see if we can try again to reconcile, but he refused, saying that that 'ship has sailed long ago'. He then walked home and I just went for my walk." she told him.

"What? Really?! You gotta be kidding me! What was the point in apologizing to you if he was not going to attempt to reconcile? It made the whole apologizing scene utterly useless!" he exclaimed with frustration.

"That's what I thought. But I can't blame him. I've caused a lot of headaches for him, Arnold and Phoebe and there was no guarantee that it was going to work this time. When Arnold left, I hardly ever saw Gerald. I think that with Arnold no longer here, there was less incentive for him to have anything to do with me." she said.

Rodrigo just sighed in disappointment, but he did not feel defeated. He still had hope for her to reconcile with everyone, including Gerald.

"Ya, Gerald also told me about that incident that happened when he tried to inquire on your home situation." he said.

"And?" she asked.

Rodrigo went quiet for a moment before h responded, "There is nothing for me to say. What's done is done."

"You sound disappointed." she said.

"I'm disappointed at the situation. I'm disappointed in this impasse that nobody seems to be able, or willing to get past."

After another moment of silence, Rodrigo than added, "He also told me in greater detail about what you did to Arnold before you guys got together."

Helga looked at Rodrigo, but she saw that he made no facial movement after what he said. She knew that he must have been completely appalled by her actions, but nevertheless asked him.

"I already know that you are disappointed about what I did, but I'm going to ask anyways; what do you think?"

"I was appalled when he told me, so much so that if ever I get to meet Arnold, I want to ask him how he was able to forgive you."

"What makes you think he has forgiven me?" she asked.

"You don't get to be with someone and not forgive them." he confirmed. "If I had to guess, unlike Gerald who is not able to let go of the past, Arnold was able to do it. He was able to see what you would be capable of in the future, as a better person. So much so that it would wipe away the sins of your past." he added.

After another moment of silence, Helga then remembered that time when Rodrigo's grandmother left, his mental state improved considerably very fast. Remembering her curiosity on the matter,

"Hey, change in topic. When your grandmother went back home, I noticed how you quickly bounced back after her departure. Care to spill out your secret on this matter?" she asked him with a raised eyebrow.

"There's no secret Helga. It is all just a matter of choice and guilt. My grandmother being there was just a reminder of what I lost and that's why it hurt. But once she left, there was very little to remind me of what I lost, of what I decided to lose." he tried to explain, but when he looked at Helga, he noticed that she was lost.

"Come again?" she asked.

"OK, to better explain this, can I humour you with a comparison between your situation and mine? I'm not going to compare who has it worse, nor am I attempting to 'rub salt on the wound'. I actually thought about this when you first told me about your home life and I wanted to talk to you about this earlier, but I was afraid that you might get offended.

"Go on." she assured him.

"Ok, you were born into the family that you are in now. No one can change that and you never had a choice in this matter. You have no choice but to accept it as given. The result is that this made you into an angry person and you have every right to be; that you had to inherit this while others did not. Yet, there is something that you are not required to have as a burden, and that is guilt. You have no guilt in being angry at your family for your neglect. Quite the opposite, you are free from it, free to be angry at them and not feel guilty about it because you know that they deserve it. You do not feel guilty precisely because you never made this choice to be with them."

"OK" was all she said.

"My situation is actually the reverse. I was born into a family that did show their love for me; my parents and relatives and my grandmothers. But again, this was not by choice, yet I still inherited it. Unlike you, I somewhat made the choice to become an atheist. It wasn't something that I was born with; it was something that I acquired throughout my years of studying. I could have tried to remain in my faith, but I chose to see this through 100%. Worse still, I made the choice to tell my grandmother, my family and my relatives about this. I had already assumed that they would not be happy about it, but I never considered that they show their contempt for me, up to the point where they would ostracize me and especially my parents. Yet, nevertheless it was the choice that I made and I have to take responsibility for it. The result is guilt. I now have to live with this permanent sense of painful guilt of the damage that I caused for myself, my parents and my relatives. I did not realize how much this news would have hurt them. However, this is exactly what allows me to live and still find happiness. Even though I did not get the results that I expected, I felt empowered by it. This is the life that I chose. Yes, it has its costs, but for me, it has been worth it."

"That's why I was able to bounce back so quickly after my grandmother left. All she did was just reminder me the cost of that choice that I made, the price that I paid. And even though I still live with the reminder when I walk out of my house and when I see my parents, the pain is not that bad because I know that the decision that I made years ago had led me to this place and frankly, it's been doing us good. My parents are happy living here and so am I. Plus I am able to live happily as an outcast. Even anything, I revel in it; I yearn to be different, to be an outcast. Sometimes it gets me down because being an outcast can be lonely sometimes, but the benefits outweighs the cost." he concluded.

Helga pondered on this deeply. She knew that she had always been angry at her parents for her neglect. They were her parents and it was their job to take care of her, but they never did. She did feel angry at the lack of choice in her life to choose. Even her love for Arnold was not a choice. She didn't choose to fall in love with him on that day at pre-school. It just happened. She later realized why she did with the help of DR. Bliss during their weekly therapy meetings.

"So you are saying that I never had a choice?" She asked.

"Nope. I'm saying that you never felt that you had a choice, but there is always a choice, even in the most of dire of situations." he said.

"Your problem is that you never accepted the 'benefits' that came out of your situation. In other words, you never accepted you who are now as a result of what you went through." he continued.

Helga was shocked by this assertion. There was no way that would be true.

"Now wait a minute buster, what do you mean I never accepted who I am? I'm not some insecure little girl with self-esteem issues!" she exclaimed with some anger in her voice.

"No, you are not some little girl with simply self-esteem issues. It goes much deeper that self-esteem. You always tried to hide behind this tough exterior, thinking that that exterior is only a facade. Truthfully, I also thought that. But then Gerald told me something that I think rang true. He never considered it to be a facade. On the contrary, he thinks that this tough exterior is actually part of your personality, a part of you. You are tough, you are aggressive, You do have the capacity to be violent. But, you are also kind, strong, passionate, loving, a loyal friend and girlfriend. You are both, Helga. Your problem, like our friends' problem, is that you have never been able to reconcile the two. To you and to them, you are on one end of the extremes, but not both. My point is that you are both, Helga. And the result of this extreme dualist personality is that it made you into this mature, deeply thoughtful and wise person. You are more intelligent that you let others believe and this is the result of what you went through. You wanted answers, you wanted to know why it had to be you. This yearning to want, to be loved, is what allowed you to be who you are."

Helga went completely quiet. This was a lot to taken, so much so that she started getting uncomfortable and wondered if she should continue with the subject. However, Rodrigo had one more final thing to say.

"You Helga, are the epitome of what the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche called, the Ubermensch."

"Uber what?" she asked.

"The Ubermensch. It is a German word which means, superman or superhuman. The way Nietzsche considered it is if someone who has gone through extreme challenges in life, and yet are able to not only survive, but thrive. With you, despite what you have gone through, instead of doing drugs, sex or being with the 'wrong crowd', you were able to stand fast, exert yourself through life creatively, in a way that produces something beautiful. You are intelligent, you dance very well, you speak two languages at least, and God know what else you can do. I said this to the Principal myself when I was trying to get him to reconsider your expulsion and he knew that I was right; you are not a bad person. As the Jewish philosopher Baruch de Spinoza said, 'all things excellent are as difficult as they are rare'."

Throughout the entire time, Helga made no eye contact. She just looked straight ahead, right into space, absorbing everything that Rodrigo just said about her. Never had anyone spoken so eloquently, so positive about her so-called 'negative' traits. Arnold had always said that she had great potential and always encouraged her to show it. However, he never explicitly stated how he personally felt toward her tough exterior. Ever since she confessed her love for him at San Lorenzo and start dating, he no longer took her tough exterior threateningly, unless she was angry. If anything, he sometimes took that she was being 'cute'. Yet, whenever they argued, he would sometimes see it as a nuisance, if not merely as an effect of what she goes through at home. With Rodrigo, he took it as something more positive, more profound. Yes, her tough and difficult personality was an effect, but Rodrigo also considered it as a cause to the many successes that she has had in life.

In the end, this was proving too much for Helga to handle. She eventually had to stop walking, leaned against a building wall in order to fully comprehend what Rodrigo had just said.

Rodrigo saw this and out of concern, asked her, "are you OK?"

"Ya. I was just...really taken aback from what you just said. No one has ever expressed my tough and difficult traits in the way that you just did." she said.

Rodrigo did not say anything. He just stood beside her, waiting for her to regain her composure. Yet, he was also happy with how Helga was feeling, for he knew that what he just said affected her in the way that had he intended; she took it to heart.

After a short while, Helga felt better and they both started walking again. None of them said anything to each other for a little while. Rodrigo then realized that he never did finish answering Helga's question.

"I know this was a lot to take in, but I can say something that is a little less...impactful?"

"What?" she asked.

"I'm assuming that when you asked me how I was able to bounce back so quickly after my grandmother left, you were thinking about your situation?" he asked.

Helga simply nodded in response.

"Personally, I don't agree with Arnold's idealistic optimism, but I agree on one thing that he does; he focuses on the positive and does not let all of the negativity of life get to him. There is a benefit to this; it does not allow you to hate. That is how I am able to bounce back, because I don't hate, despite what my extended family did to me. I'm angry at them, but I don't hate them. I actually understand why they did it, from their perspective. For them, it is actually appalling for someone to not believe in God. I just viciously oppose their views and the way they chose to let their contempt and anger govern their behaviour. But they made their choice to act the way they did, for my grandmother to act that way with me. I have no control over that, so I do not let that get to me. I do not let them win."

"With you Helga, because you always felt you had little to no choice, no leeway to make your own decisions, you allowed all of these negative circumstances in your life get to you. As a result, your anger turned to hate. I'm not saying that you hate people, but you hate life. On the one hand, I can't blame you for feeling like way. But on the other hand, if you allow yourself to hate, you are letting that anger win by turning it into hate. Worse still, you feel you are alone in this, but you are not. I'm here to help you. Phoebe, Arnold and everyone else is here to help you. You are not alone, Helga, despite what you may believe."

Again, Helga said nothing, nor physically reacted while Rodrigo spoke. She just took it all in. Clearly this is something that she will have to ponder about for a while.

Silence started permeating between the two teens. Nothing awkward, Rodrigo just allowed Helga to have some moment of silence to herself. It was enough for one day. Soon, they were close to the intersection where they had to depart.

"Have you thought about what you are going to say to Phoebe?" he asked her.

"You mean, since you finally stopped talking and allowing me to actually give me a space to think?" she asked with a smirk.

"Yeah, sorry. I have my moments when I talk a lot." he said sheepishly.

"Yes, I have. There is no indirect way to do this, other than to be frank with her about it and apologize. It has to be done. I just hope she will let me speak before she freaks out."

"Why would she freak out?"

"We never spoke about that incident again. We buried it deep into the past. I know that she was appalled and disappointed with the way I treated Gerald, but she let it slide. Apart from not talking to me for several days after the incident, that was all she did. She never took it out on me because of that. So I think if I bring it up, all that anger and disappointment that she felt will be brought right out."

"I see. In that case she will freak out on you, but I know she will forgive you, eventually." he said.

"I hope so." she said

"Well, good luck. Let me know when you are planning on talking to her about it and let me know if there is any way I can help. I promise I won't talk your ear off this time." he said with a smile.

"Thanks Latino boy." she said with a smile.

After saying their goodbyes, they both went their separate ways and headed home.

Later that evening...

Arnoldo, what Rodrigo said about me as we were walking home today...I have no words to describe it. I have never heard anyone saying anything positive or good about my tough and difficult personality. It shook me to the core, so much so that I had to actually catch my breath, if you can believe it. Talking to Rodrigo has been helping a lot on how I see myself and see a possible future, a future where...

Helga stopped writing, unable to finish what she really wanted to write; a life without you. She reframed from getting choked up about it and proceed to continue writing her letter.

I can see myself be happy with who I am, with what I am becoming. I know that this is only the first step and I still have a long way to go. However, don't let this give you any good reason to believe that I am dropping my toughness, football head. Quite the contrary, I tend to assert it as part of me, so you can either like it or get lost! After all, what is Helga G. Pataki without my toughness?

I had an encounter with Gerald, where he, believe it or not, apologized to me for not seeing me as you and Phoebe saw me, for being biased. I was actually quite surprised. No doubt him talking to Rodrigo had something to do with it. It just made me think about that incident that happened more than three years ago and it still haunts me. But I intend to at least fix it with Phoebe. Gerald unfortunately still wants nothing to do with me, even after I offered to try to reconcile with him. Don't blame him though, I put him through a lot during those years so I'm not surprised.

With Rodrigo, the only thing that I can say about him is that, I'm glad he came into our lives; into my life. I do hope you get a chance to meet him one day. He is a great guy and I'm sure you two would get along well.

Enough about my antics, how's school treating ya, football head? I hope you have been able to make friends. Let me know if anyone messes with you and I will personally fly down there to introduce them to old Betsy here and knock them right outta that city. If anyone is going to mess with you Arnoldo, it is moi, got it?

Your tormentor,

Helga G. Pataki

Before I get bombarded with any criticism on how I portrayed Arnold, I would like to point out that since the series ended with the Jungle Movie, there is no concrete evidence of Arnold ever fully coming to terms with Helga's tough exterior. Personally, I feel that in the first years of their relationship, he would have trouble reconciling her two extremities, especially since he is on the other extreme. Come on, Arnold is still a kid and he has his faults. However, there is hope that, given his observant nature, he could eventually see Helga's extremities as encompassing her personality as a whole, and no longer accepting one as true, while the other as a facade.