Hi everyone! I know that some of you may not yet be convinced if Rodrigo should be compared to Arnold, or why the gang is even doing that. So in this chapter I want to provide more information about why everyone seems to think so.
During lunchtime…
Rodrigo walked into the lunchtime and headed toward their usual sitting area. He found that by a stroke of luck, everyone was present, even Helga, who was reading. Once he arrived there, he greeted everyone, and then sat down to eat.
Gerald was waiting for him to arrive, as he needed to ask him something.
"Hey Rodrigo, got a question for ya. Would it be OK if I give my man Arnold your mailing address?"
"What for?" he asked curiously.
"Well apparently we have been talking a lot about you in our letters, that he asked me in his last letter if he can write you one, just to introduce himself and to say hi." He responded.
Although showing no reaction, Helga pretended to continue reading, while listening attentively, trying to find out why Arnold wanted to communicate with him.
"OK sure, you can give it to him. It would be nice to finally communicate with this guy." Rodrigo confirmed.
"Great, thanks. I'm sure you guys will get along well. He's a great guy." He said.
So I've heard, many times. He thought annoyingly. "Great" he said.
As the rest of gang started to converse among themselves and eat their lunch, Rodrigo was in deep thought about this Arnold guy. He had never met him. Actually, he does not know what he even looks like. He then thought of something.
When was the last time they saw him? He thought. Curiously, he decided to ask Gerald.
"Gerald, when was the last time you guys saw Arnold?" He asked nonchalantly.
As soon as he asked that, everyone got quiet and stared at him. Even Helga ended up putting her book down to look at him. The gang continued to look at him and among themselves with sad facial expressions, causing Rodrigo to feel uncomfortable.
"Did I say something wrong? Why are you guys looking at me like this?" He asked.
After a few more seconds of silence, Gerald finally spoke.
"No, no man. You didn't say anything wrong. It's just that we haven't seen Arnold since he left." He said sadly.
Rodrigo was taken aback by this.
Well no wonder these people miss him so. They haven't seen him in years. He thought.
"Why not?" he asked.
"It has been difficult for him to visit. He tried a few times, but he had to cancel them, either because of school or trying to help his parents at their jobs or because they were moving again." Gerald explained.
"What exactly do his parents do?"
"They work for a major pharmaceutical company. Their task is to go to a certain area, locate as many plants and other specimens as possible, and then proceed to make medicinal remedies from them. This requires them to constantly travel from one place to another because often where they collect their specimens, the region or country doesn't have the facilities for them to experiment."
"Where is he right now?" Rodrigo asked.
"San Lorenzo" Helga interjected.
"Ya, where you are from Rodrigo." Said Gerald
Rodrigo simply stared at both of them with a confused look.
"Huh? I never said I was from San Lorenzo."
"You didn't?" Gerald asked him.
"No. All I said was that I came from where there is a refugee crisis. San Lorenzo is one of many Latin countries whose citizens are fleeing poverty, crime and unemployment." Rodrigo explained.
Before anyone got the chance to ask him his country of origin, Rodrigo quickly asked another question.
"How long has he been there?" He asked.
"Since September of this year." Sid confirmed. "Before that, he lived in San Antonio, Texas"
A thought then occurred to Rodrigo, about Helga.
Is that why Helga learned Spanish? Was she planning on going to San Lorenzo to see him? I have to ask her about this. He thought.
"Well, that explains why you guys write letters to each other. I was about to ask why he doesn't use email to communicate with you guys. And none of you guys have tried to visit him?" He asked them.
"Nah uh, for the same reasons that Gerald gave." Sid responded back.
Rodrigo was now able to understand them a bit better as to why they would always compare him to Arnold.
This guy was such a huge influence in their lives that when he left and I arrived, I reminded them of him so much that I think that they started to project their emotions for Arnold onto me. As far as I see it, I am merely a substitute for him. He thought.
That didn't make him feel any better about the comparison. Quite the contrary, he felt that they only became friends with him to remind them of Arnold, not because they actually like him.
"I can see why you guys like to compare me with Arnold. It seems to me, that you all miss him so much that I am merely a substitute for him." He said to them with a stern tone.
No one responded back to his statement, as they were not sure where he was going with this.
"Although personally, I still don't see how I remind you of him. Sure there are some similarities, but he and I are vastly different people." He continued.
Helga was especially attentive to this, as she knew that he was also talking about her. She really did not like where this was going, but she reframed from saying yet and allowed Rodrigo to explain himself.
"No, no man. You got it all wrong. We're not comparing you because we miss him. In a way, were doing it as a compliment. You and Arnold both have high moral standards and a big heart. Sure you express it in a different way than Arnold does, but your heart is in the right place." He explained.
"And to some extent, although we did not really put you in this position, your personality fits well in what Arnold's role was in our group. We know that you are not Arnold, but even you Rodrigo, must admit that you took on the many responsibilities and traits that Arnold did in our group." Rhonda said while giving him a bit of a scowling face.
Rodrigo looked at everyone. It became apparent to him that everyone got a bit offended by Rodrigo's remark.
"I'm sorry everyone. I did not mean to get you all upset. I just feel that you guys have compared me with him so many times, that it looked as if you only became friends with me because I reminded you all of him, not because you actually like me." He said.
Rodrigo allowed some time for everyone to absorb this because this has been bothering him for some time. Ever since Gerald first mentioned Arnold, they have repeatedly stated to him how much he reminds them of him, almost none stop, Helga included. Yet despite him explicitly showing his distaste for the comparison, they never stopped.
"But you really need to explain to me in more detail as to how I basically fit in his shoes." He quickly added.
"There you go typical Arnold apology, everyone." Eugene said with his usual bright smile.
"Huh?" Rodrigo asked.
"Haha, you apologized to us for potentially offending us, when it is us who should apologize to you Rodrigo, for not realizing how much this comparison was bothering you. You were more worried about our feelings than yours that you felt that you had to apologize. Arnold would have done the same thing." Eugene explained. Everyone nodded in agreement.
"I see. What else?" He asked.
"On that note, whenever you feel you crossed a line, you would instantly apologize for it and make up for the damage. Unlike other people, you have no problem acknowledging your mistakes. Arnold was the same way." Sheena added.
"That, and you are a good listener. Whenever we speak to you, you would put whatever it is that you were doing aside, and give us your full attention." Said Gerald.
"You're always helpful. You've helped me and Stinky a few times with our math homework whenever we asked you, no exception. You even stopped working on your homework to help us." Sid pointed out.
"You are wise person for your age. You have given us useful advice on whatever matter is troubling us." said Eugene.
"You are very mature. You know when to be funny and when to take things seriously. You also have an observant nature and tend to see people more deeply than what they would normally show to others. You are not a judgmental person." Said Phoebe.
"You look out for your friends and you go out of your way to put us before yourself." Said Lila.
"You're good at sports and you have a serious kicking ability. Arnold had a serious swinging ability, but the difference is only in degrees." Said Stinky.
"You're a great person to talk to. I like your jokes." Said Harold.
"Uh Harold, Arnold is not known for telling jokes." Sid pointed out to him
"Oh. Well, you're just a great person to hang out with. You are not boring." Harold re-stated himself.
"And you became good friends with Helga." Gerald pointed out with a smirk.
Rodrigo was not amused by this remark.
"That sounds a little harsh, Gerald." he head to him.
"Not really; it is Helga." He said.
Then everyone heard a loud bang. Helga intentionally dropped her book on the table, and when Gerald turned to face her, she gave him a serious scowl. Gerald, in response, just gave her a nervous smile, hoping she would not clobber him. He then reverted back to Rodrigo to quickly add,
"But seriously, only you, Phoebe and Arnold were able to get close to her. Regardless of the reasons why, that is still an achievement; you got her to open up to you."
"I guess. OK, ok, ok, so I have a lot of the same personality traits. But how often does Arnold lose his patience and gets confrontational? The way you guys described him, he is an angel. I lost my patience a few times with you guys and unlike Arnold, I don't have a problem in getting confrontational."
"That's true. But Arnold has lost his patience a few times too. Granted, it is a rare occurrence, but it does happen. And as for your confrontation, I'd like to compare that with Helga." Said Gerald.
Helga was again scowling at him and was on the verge of getting up when Gerald quickly continued to finish what he wanted to say.
"Now hold on, I didn't mean it in a bad way. I'm just saying that unlike Arnold, Rodrigo is passionate, like you are, Helga. Arnold is a rather calm guy, and you can be too Rodrigo, but you have days when your passion about a topic or something would show. Like what happened with the twelve graders, you were just passionate on protecting your friends, in standing up what you believe in. Arnold would have done the same thing, although in a less aggressive way." He explained.
Satisfied with his response, Helga then sat down and her scowl disappeared, much to the relief of Gerald.
Throughout the entire conversation, Helga said nothing. She just listened to the comparisons. The more they revealed some of their similar traits, the more nervous she became as she realized just how eerily similar they were. Unlike the rest of the gang, Helga did not compare Rodrigo to Arnold simply out of remembrance. She knew it went down deeper than that. She felt…drawn to Rodrigo. She wanted to talk to him; she wanted to hang out with him. Yet she felt no butterflies in her stomach. He did not make her act nervous around him. As a result, she did not feel she needed to act aggressive toward Rodrigo in order to hide something with the way she did with Arnold.
This whole thing was making her crazy. She wished she could just feel something decisively so at least she would now know what to do. But until she figures that out, she cannot do anything.
"So there you go. Sure you didn't save a neighborhood, but I wouldn't hold it past you." Gerald continued.
"I held an illegal protest at my previous school for the extreme shortage of books and funding there. I was almost arrested and expelled, but I managed get away with only a slap on my hand and I got the funding that we needed. Is that close enough?" Rodrigo asked with a cocky smile to his face.
"Ya, you are definitely Arnold material." Said Gerald with a smirk on his face.
"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute bucko." Helga immediately interjected with an irritated look on her face. "That's a little oxymoronic of you. You held a protest, knowing full well that it was going to get you into serious trouble and you had no problem with accepting the consequences? Yet, you raged at me bitterly when the Principal said he MAY suspend you after our scuffle?"
"You mean to tell me that I took the fall and got expelled for no reason?" She continued as she stood up and got closer to him.
"You know, whenever you get close to me, I don't know if you are going to punch me or kiss me." Rodrigo countered jokingly with a flirtatious smile.
Helga was completely taken aback by his remark and for a moment, stood frozen, not knowing what to say. She had no intention of hitting him, yet she was unsure or what else to do.
Even their friends were completely shocked at what Rodrigo just said to her. No one who had ever attempted to flirt with Helga lived to tell the tale. Only Arnold was able to get away with flirting with her. They all simultaneously thought,
Did he... thought Gerald.
...just flirt...thought Phoebe.
...with her? thought Sid.
That is ever so...hot. Lila thought mischievously.
However, Helga soon shook off her surprise and said,
"Pfft ya right, in your dreams Latino boy. Next time, my fist will find its way towards your jaw." while she sat back down, trying not to blush.
Although she knew he was joking around, she was still surprised that he would say something like that to her in front of everyone. She didn't want to admit it, but deep down, she kind of liked it.
Rodrigo knew that she was going to get upset when he revealed the protest event, which is why he made that remark; to get her off her balance. Then, with calmness yet firmness, he proceeded to explain to her,
"Seriously though, there is a difference between the protest and our scuffle, Helga. I made the choice to organize that protest and even though I was going to get into trouble, it was for a good cause. I wasn't doing it for my own personal desire to cause trouble; I was doing it for the benefit of a community. Plus I knew due to those reasons, there was a chance that the authorities would let me go. It was a risk, but a calculated risk. With our scuffle, it was entirely based on you being angry over a rumor that was not even true, yet you angrily accused me of starting it, without giving me the chance to even explain myself. What did you expect me to say to you when you just humiliated us in front of everyone? Of course I lost my temper with you on that day."
"I am willing to get into trouble if it benefits people, if it helps others. But I am not willing to get into trouble simply for other people's personal desire for revenge or because they cannot control themselves." he continued calmly.
Helga said nothing and merely crossed her arms in defeat, while having a frowning face.
"And it wasn't for no reason." Rodrigo continued. "By taking the blame and getting expelled, you owned up to your mistake. You helped me clear my name. You do care about people and like me and Arnold, you were willing to accept the consequence for your actions. And I did say I was sorry for what I said to you at detention."
This got everyone's attention. Although they knew what Helga did for Rodrigo, he never went into details about what he said to her during detention.
"What did you say to Helga during detention?" Sid asked curiously.
Rodrigo looked at Helga to see if she was going to tell them the story or tell them to mind their business. However, she merely looked away, while still frowning.
Taking this as his cue, Rodrigo reluctantly and shamefully replied,
"I...told her that the reason why Arnold left was...not because of his parents' jobs, but of wanting to get away from her because he could no longer stand her."
The rest of the gang remained silent, completely shocked. Despite knowing the real reason why Arnold left, they knew Helga enough to know that such a statement was a serious blow to the gut, if not her heart.
When the gang looked at Helga to see any reaction, she merely looked away again and closed her eyes, trying to hide the pain from that painful memory.
"Gosh Rod, that was a low blow for you to say that. What did she do or say to you after?" Stinky asked him.
"Nothing. She just took it." said Rodrigo sadly. "Once detention was over, she went straight to the Principal's office to take the blame, while I went home."
"Ya that was a serious blow Rodrigo. But I'm also surprised that you are still alive after what you said to her. I mean she nearly clobbered me years ago when I inquired on her family life." said Gerald.
Despite all of them knowing what a low blow that was, only three of them realized the full significance of Helga's behavior on that day: Phoebe, Gerald and Rhonda.
Could she like 'like' him? They all thought simultaneously.
However, Gerald and Rhonda quickly dismissed the claim, but not Phoebe. She knew her best friend well enough to interpret Helga's behavior on that day. Gerald had a point; had it been anyone else, Helga would have viciously attacked him without remorse. Yet instead, she merely took it and even took the full blame. Helga would not have done that for just anyone, unless she really cared about them. Since Helga said yes to be Rodrigo's date for Rhonda's Halloween party, Phoebe had been doing some research on her friend's behavior. However, due to school and her extracurricular activities, she needed more time to prove her hypothesis.
Gerald was also pondering. Based on how Rodrigo was able to rationalize his way out of Helga's accusation just now, he recognized a difference with the way Rodrigo's treats her and how Arnold used to treat her, which was often a source of conflict between him and Gerald's.
"Well, I can definitely say that there is something that you do not share with Arnold." he said.
"Which is...?" Rodrigo asked.
"You don't patronize people." he responded back.
"Explain." said Rodrigo.
"I'm not going to use Helga as an example, just because I want to get home alive and well. But take the twelve graders again. After school ended, you said to me that they needed to pay for making the choice to stick to an outdated fantasy about human relations and for choosing to take their anger out on Eugene. I would imagine Arnold would try to reason it out, saying something along the lines of 'they are only ignorant and they do not know what they are doing'. He wasn't trying to justify what they did; like you, he would have stepped in to stop the fight. But he would try to explain to us why they did it. You on the other hand, don't attempt to rationalize it up to that point. Quite the contrary, you still claim that despite what they think or may have gone through in life, it is still their choice. They could have chosen to not beat up Eugene." he explained.
"You see, Arnold would always try to mind this middle ground between people, this area where everyone could agree on, which can sometimes be beneficial. You are more radical. Arnold's rationality on this sometimes got to the point where I felt he was just patronizing people. With you, you do give reasons why people behave a certain way, but you don't fully rationalize it out. You still think that people still have some freedom into making certain choices in their lives and because of that, you hold them responsible for their actions. Personally, I like that about you Rodrigo, you don't patronize people."
Rodrigo knew where Gerald was going with this. Gerald felt that they were on the same page with Helga's behavior and to some extent, he was right. However, where they differed was that while Gerald continued to have his prejudice against Helga and would eventually stop bothering in helping her, Rodrigo had no such prejudices and would not necessarily back down in helping Helga. Rather, Rodrigo gave her the freedom, the choice to be different, whereas Gerald gave Helga no such space. However, Rodrigo decided to be quiet about this.
Helga too knew where Gerald was going with this and she came to the same conclusion about the difference between how he and Rodrigo viewed her. Yet, she also decided not to say anything.
"Point taken." said Rodrigo.
"But I would like to add something to that." Rodrigo continued. "While I am not particularly agreeable with Arnold's idealized optimism, he does have a point if he would try to explain to us why they did what they did. They are ignorant about themselves, about what it is about seeing a gay person that makes them hostile. I know this because I was once like them. But unlike them, I was willing to find out about it. I had look deep into myself to find out the answer, which I eventually did. The Greek philosopher Socrates said that the unexamined life is not worth living in. Unless you are willing to examine human life and look deeply into this abyss, it is not worth living in it because you are just a mere pawn in this sociological game here. So Arnold is right if he would try to explain why people behave in this way and I am also aware of this."
"But then why were you willing to fight them if you knew that they were just being ignorant?" Phoebe asked him.
"Because being ignorant is not an excuse, especially in our time. If anything, it is very childish. It is still your responsibility to have at least some idea as to why you act this way. Not knowing is not justifiable to behave in a certain way, especially if your behavior affects other people. You can't know everything about yourself and there are things that you cannot simply change, I know that. But there are things that you can and homophobia is one of them. We can understand those twelve graders and even sympathize with them, but under no circumstances should they be allowed to get away with it. It is knowing when to be sympathetic and when to put your foot down and say 'enough' that is tricky and it takes skills to know when to apply which." Rodrigo explained.
Just then, the bell rang, signaling that lunch was now over.
"Well, we'd better get to class. Don't want to be late." said Gerald.
Everyone got their belongings and quickly went to their next class or lockers.
After school...
Once school was over, everyone got out and hopped onto the bus to go home. It quickly got full. The weather was now freezing and snow had already started to fall. No student was willing to walk in this weather.
The gang all sat next to each other, except for Helga. She sat further back from the group. As Rodrigo got on the bus, he noticed this and went to sit beside her.
Helga was leaning against the backseat with her eyes closed when Rodrigo sat beside her. She didn't bother to open her eyes; she knew who it was. Then Rodrigo asked her,
"¿Por eso aprendiste el Español?" (Is that why you learned Spanish?)
"What?" she asked him, while still not moving.
"¿La razón porque querías aprender el español, no era para que podías reunirte con Arnold en San Lorenzo?" (Is the reason why you learned Spanish, was it not so you can go to San Lorenzo to be with Arnold?) He asked again.
That caused her to sit up straight and look at him with wide eyes.
¿Como c***** sabia el? (How in the f*** did he know?) She thought.
"Pfft, no sea ridículo, Latino boy. Jamás regresaría a ese maldito país. En tus sueños, Rodrigo"
(Pfft, don't be ridiculous Latino boy. I'd never return to that godforsaken country. In your dreams, Rodrigo.) She scoffed while crossing her arms.
"Yo solamente aprendí el castellano, si estamos hablando del mismo dialecto, porque quería. Me interesó." (I only learned Castilian, if we are talking about the same dialect, because I wanted to. It interested me.) She continued.
Rodrigo was undeterred. Her scoffing merely confirmed what he already knew.
"No te preocupes Helga, está bien. No es necesario de explicar si no quieres hablar del asunto. Cuando si te sientes listo para hablar, estaría aquí." (Don't worry Helga, it's OK. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. Whenever or if you feel you are ready to talk about it, I'll be here.) He said while looking at her with calm eyes and giving her a small smile.
While still pouting, Helga merely looked at away.
Then Rodrigo got up and went to sit with the rest of the group.
When Rodrigo sat back down with the group, Phoebe noticed Helga was sitting alone. Getting concerned, she excused herself, got up and went to sit with her best friend.
"Helga? Is everything ok?" She asked her.
"Ya, everything is ok Pheebs. Actually Pheebs, I wanted to ask you, are you free to meet up this Friday or weekend?" she asked.
"I think I am free this Friday evening. What did you want to do?" Phoebe asked.
"I need to talk to you about something." she said.
"OK, about what?" she tried to inquire.
"It's something important, something I should have said to you years ago. Can we meet at your place this Friday evening?" she asked.
"Sure Helga." she confirmed.
Phoebe felt a notch developing in her stomach. She suspected what Helga wanted to talk to her about and she was hoping it was not that. As far as she was concerned, she did NOT want to talk about it. She just wanted to forget it ever happened and move on.
Later that evening…
Helga was walking around in her room for almost 20 minutes, pondering if whether she should admit to Rodrigo what he had said on the bus. She really was not sure why she felt she needed to 'confess' to him about this, yet she had the urge to do so.
Crimeny, he is not some priest that I need to go to confess! There was no sin to me wanting to go San Lorenzo. So what if he knows? There's no need to discuss this further. And Yet, I cannot push this urge aside. Maybe it's because I can trust him with this. She thought. But I think it is also because I have been bottling this inside me for so long, that I feel I 'need' to talk to him about this. It is not something shameful, but it is not a happy story.
Helga then recollected on the occasion when she blurted out her love for Arnold to Dr. Bliss during her first therapy session with her. It felt good to finally release it. There were also other occasions with Dr. Bliss and with Arnold. Whenever something was bothering her, talking about it someone helped a lot.
She relented. He already figured it out, so there was no point in keeping it a secret. She looked out the window to see if perhaps they can talk in person. But the weather had turned ugly. It was snowing and very windy.
"Ya, no way I'm leaving my room to go out there. I'm not desperate." She said to herself.
She grabbed her phone and started texting Rodrigo.
Rodrigo was quietly in his room doing his homework when his cell vibrated. He picked it up and saw that Helga just messaged him. He clicked on the message and read what she wrote to him.
Helga: You were right, about what you said on the bus.
Rodrigo: Ya? What happened?
Helga started typing but then realized that this was a long story, too long to type it.
"Screw it, I'll just call him." She said.
Rodrigo's phone rang. He picked it up and said, "Hey"
"Hey, I was not going to text you because it is a long story."
"No worries. So what happened?" he asked again.
Helga got nervous about telling her story. She started grinding her teeth and was nervously playing with her hair. Rodrigo remained calm and merely waited for her to be comfortable enough to start.
Finally, she took a deep breath and began.
"Ok, last year, at the beginning of April, we all got a letter from Arnold saying that he will be leaving San Antonio to go to the capital city of San Lorenzo, also called San Lorenzo. He said that his parents needed to go back to collect further plants and specimens and they were going stay there for a good amount of time; months if not years. The capital had the required facilities to conduct their experiments so there was no need to go back. So Arnold had to go with them. They were going to wait until Arnold finished school and move during the summer."
"At the same time, I got word that my sister Olga was going to be coming back to live with us. She was scheduled to arrive within a few weeks. Obviously I was upset at this because whatever little attention I was getting at home, would now all be diverted to Olga. To make matters worse, by that time I was out of my depression, but I was not happy. I still felt empty and I was struggling to cope with it."
"Later in that same month, Gerald and I got into another argument. I'm not going to say what it was about, but he ended up saying to me that I 'did not deserve to be with Arnold.' Don't blame him for saying that, I kind of deserve it. But that set me off to the tipping point. I was no longer able stand my situation."
Helga paused for a second and took in a big gulp of air.
"So I made the decision to run away from Hillwood and go to San Lorenzo to be with Arnold. I thought that being with him was better than staying here, even if I despised having to live in some tropical jungle."
When Rodrigo said nothing, she continued.
"I did not tell anyone about my plans, not even Arnold. With Phoebe, I was initially not going to tell her anything. So during that time, I learned Spanish in order to navigate my way in that country and to not be such a burden to Arnold and his parents. I also found out the address of where Arnold was going to stay and when he was going to arrive. My plan was to go there a few days after Arnold and his parents had arrived and just show up. Obviously they will ask why I am there, so I had no reservations to tell them the truth: I was miserable back home and I missed that football head."
"A few days before I was about to leave, I decided to call Phoebe and tell her about it and also to say goodbye. She asked for the time and date of when I was going, which I gave her. She then asked me if she could come with me to the airport, just to say goodbye. I was a bit surprised by this, as I expected her to convince me to not leave, but I figured she just wanted me to be happy."
"On the day when I was about to leave, I met up with Phoebe and went to the airport. As we were waiting in line to buy my one-way ticket, Phoebe then attempted to convince me to stay."
"What did she say to you to make you stay?" Rodrigo asked.
Months earlier, at the airport…
Announcer: Attention all passengers. The XY-130 flight to San Diego has been delayed. We apologize for any inconvenience…
Helga and Phoebe waited patiently before a staff personnel was ready to help them. They had ten other people in front of them.
Helga only brought with her one big luggage, which contained her summer and sports clothes. She didn't need any of her winter clothes. She made sure she brought her notebook, pencils, her locket of Arnold and her pink bow.
"Well Pheebs, thanks for coming. I'll miss ya." Helga said to her with a smile.
Initially Phoebe said nothing. She just looked her best friend with a sad look. She was sad because she was able to reveal to Helga her true intentions as to why she wanted to go with her to the airport and she knew it was going to hurt her.
"Helga, I think you should stay. I think going to San Lorenzo is a bad idea." Phoebe finally spoke.
"I made up my mind Pheebs. I'm going to San Lorenzo where I know I can at least be somewhat happy." She said with a firm voice.
"That's just it, Helga. I don't think you will be happy there. I mean I know you will be happy to be with Arnold, but you will be miserable living there. We both know the lifestyle that he is currently living is not for you."
"We'll find some way to deal with it, Pheebs. I can change too you know. Give me some credit, won't ya?" She countered back.
Phoebe knew that Helga was now getting defensive, so she proceeded to continue with caution.
"Helga, how do you think you just showing up unexpectedly will affect Arnold and his parents? You haven't even told him you were coming. They have not prepared themselves to accommodate you."
"I can help around the house. I can cook and clean. I have been doing that on my own for a while now, no thanks to Miriam. Plus I plan on enrolling myself to school. I don't intend on just moping around their house doing nothing." She countered back.
Phoebe was still not convinced. Based on Arnold's letters, she knew that he is very busy in helping his parents out, which often required him to go to the field with them.
"You know how busy Arnold is with his school and helping his parents. Do you think you two will find some time to be together? And are you also prepared to do hard, laborious work? To go back to the jungle and find specimens and plants for their experiments? You can be there for weeks at a time, with sometimes going to bed without a proper meal. You know how hard that is based on Arnold's letters. For him, it is fine because he sees it as some adventure, but do you really think you can take that?"
Helga was now getting irritated that Phoebe merely came here to convince her to stay. However, she reframed from exploding at her and merely said,
"Where there is a will, there is a way, Pheebs."
"Come on, Helga! You are a city girl. You know you can't stand living in a tropical country and having to live in the jungle, with no internet and no communication. We both know that you are not cut out for that. And what about you and Arnold? How do you think all of this is going to affect your relationship with him if you are not happy with how you are living with him? It will lead to further arguments. Your relationship with him was rocky when he was here, how do you think it is going to be there? Do you really want to impose this on Arnold and his parents?" Phoebe continued.
"Phoebe, just stop it, OK! I'm going and that's that!" She yelled, trying not to choke up.
Phoebe then tried one last roll of the dice.
"Did you ever think about how you leaving will affect me?" She asked her with a sad tone in her voice. "I already had to deal with one friend moving away, now I am basically losing my best friend too.
When Helga said nothing, she continued.
"We grew up together since we were three, and I want us to graduate together. I know we have become a little distant, but you are still my best friend and, I know this is being selfish, but I don't want you to go. I don't want to lose you. I want you go stay here so we can still hang out and talk. I'm afraid that if you leave, we may not be as close as we used to." She said, also trying not to choke up.
By now, there were only two people left in front of them before it was Helga's turn.
"But it is your choice, Helga. Whatever you decide." Phoebe concluded.
Helga was starting to lose her grip. She had been thinking everything that Phoebe had said to her and despite not wanting to admit it, she was right. Helga knew that this lifestyle that Arnold was living was not for her. She knew that she couldn't stand having to go back to the jungle for many days to collect yucky and sometimes dangerous specimens. She needed some stability in her life, and having to move around from one environment to another would be overwhelming. Plus she would be imposing on Arnold and his parents, not even knowing if they are able to accommodate her. To make matters worse, they were no longer a couple, so what was she expecting to achieve by going there? Even more so, this decision was hurting Phoebe, again. Essentially, the only thing that she had achieved was learning a new language, which was now useless.
As her turn was approaching, Helga started to cave in to the inevitable. Despite how much she missed him and how much she was willing to sacrifice for him, this was too much. She couldn't do it. She felt rage developing inside her. She wanted to explode, cuss everyone and everything out that she can't have even one ounce of happiness in her life. Her anger got to a point where it started to develop into a strong urge to cry. Tears started to develop in her eyes, but she stubbornly prevented them from falling. Yet the more she fought it, the greater the urge to cry grew. Yet, She was not going to sob in front of people.
I'm not going to cry, I'm not going to cry. There are people here...I'm not going to…
Finally, she couldn't take it any longer. When her turn came, Helga simply collapsed to the ground and started sobbing. Phoebe immediately knelled down and hugged her. She signaled to the person behind them to move past them and made hand gestures to the staff personnel that she was OK.
After a few minutes, Phoebe slowly picked up Helga, who was still crying and moved her to a bench where she continued to hug her and waited for her to regain herself.
"Why can't I be with him? Why did he have to move?! I waited more than 10 years to be with him and how he is gone!" She said while still crying.
"I waited too long. I shouldn't have bullied him for so many years. I shouldn't have organized the stupid video contest to go to San Lorenzo. He would have never have found his parents and he would still be here." She continued frustratingly.
Phoebe said nothing. She knew Helga was only saying these things out of anger. She knew she didn't mean them. She just continued to hug her.
Finally, Helga regained some of her composure and stopped crying, albeit a few tears continued to flow down from her eyes.
"I'm sorry Helga, but I had to tell you the truth." Phoebe said.
"I know. I would have made a terrible mistake and only cause more damage." She said. "Thanks Pheebs."
Back at the present…
"So ya, after I stopped crying, we just went home. My parents were none the wiser. They had no idea what I was about to do. I had asked Phoebe to not speak a word of this to anyone, so no one other than you and her know. Not even Arnold." She said to Rodrigo.
Rodrigo said nothing during this. He simply sat in his chair, playing with his pencil, listening attentively to every word Helga said. He didn't know how to react to this. Should he be happy? Should he be sad? Angry? Should he feel anything at all? He was so deep into his thoughts that he completely forgot to respond back to Helga.
"Hello? Are you there Latino boy? Crimeny, do not tell me you fell asleep while I spoke because I swear…" she began to say before Rodrigo cut her off.
"Helga, I'm here. Sorry I was just thinking about everything you just said… and I don't know what to say." He said.
"Well I didn't think I was going to break you again so easily." She said jokingly.
"I didn't break. I'm just conflicted as to how I should feel. I'm experiencing different emotions." He countered.
"Well, tell me about them." She said.
"Well, on the one hand, I'm sad that this plan didn't work out. I would have liked for it to work, if it meant that you were going to find happiness. I know you must have been hurt when you realized the reality of it. But on the other hand, I'm also glad that it didn't work because Phoebe was right, it was never going to work out so it would have made things worse for you. But I'm also glad it didn't work because had it did, I never would have met you." He confessed.
That last statement took Helga back a bit.
"You would have gotten through life fine without me." She countered.
"Oh I know I would have. I am just transferring one emotion between two different realities." He explained.
"Huh? How?" she asked.
"Ok, had you actually gone to San Lorenzo, I never would have met you and I would have gone through my life fine. Even if I may have met our friends I would have been fine. In that reality, because we never met, I would not be experiencing this emotion of possibly losing you as a friend. But because I did meet you and became friends, when I think about that possible reality of never meeting you, it hurts because that means I would have lost you as a friend. It's called empathy and this is how it works for people. We are able to transfer our emotions and our love for others into different realities. That's how we feel bad for others and sympathize with them. We are able to feel what it would be like in their shoes." He explained.
"I see. So it hurts you knowing that there is a possibility of us never meeting? I didn't know you care so much." Helga said sarcastically.
"Well duh. You're a cool and wonderful person to talk to. And after everything that we have gone through, you damn right that I'm going to care that much about our friendship." He said with a stern voice. Then he added in a joking way, "Besides, who else would I have to bother with MY antics?"
"Well umm…thanks. It's nice to hear that." She said sheepishly.
After some silence, Helga then added,
"Well I know you are probably busy, so I'll let you go. I just wanted to tell you that."
"Thanks, Helga for telling me. I'll talk to you later." He said.
"Oh wait. About what we spoke about during lunch; you're not Arnold and despite the similarities, you will never be him. You are you Rodrigo and…I glad that it is you and I hope you never change." She confessed.
"Thanks Helga, that means a lot." He said with a smile on his face. Then they both hung up their phones.
Rodrigo just sat in his chair after his talk with Helga. He felt extremely bad for her, yet could do little to help alleviate all her baggage. He hated seeing his friend being hurt like this, worse when he could do little to help them. All he could do for Helga was simply to be there for her and listen and when appropriate, comfort her.
After some moments, Rodrigo then went back to finishing his homework.
At Helga's room…
Well Arnoldo, you are one popular boy here. We spent an entire lunch break comparing you to Rodrigo, although I don't think he was thrilled. He hasn't liked been compared to you, although I think he understands a bit more as to why we have been often doing that. Yet, we decided to stop doing that. It is not fair to him to think that we only became friends with him because he reminds us of you. Rodrigo is Rodrigo and that is how we should treat him. I should know the feeling. Back when we were kids, I hated it how much you used to compare me with Lila. Thankfully you stopped once we got together, much to your wellbeing, football head.
Now, what is this I hear about you wanting to write to Rodrigo? What have Gerald and the others been telling you about him? I trust they have been saying nothing but positive things about him. He is a good friend of mine and I will not tolerate anyone cussing him out.
I hope your Spanish has gotten better. The last time you wrote something in Spanish, I was not able to understand anything. You need a tutor football head. Perhaps I should teach you a few words.
Ojala que lo estas pasando bien en San Lorenzo. Cuídate de esas peligrosas plantes y animales que tus padres requieren en colectar para sus 'experimentos'. (I hope all is well in San Lorenzo. Be careful with those dangerous plants and animals that your parents require you to collect for their 'experiments'.)
Tu amiga que te quiere, (Your friend that likes you,)
Helga G. Pataki