I don't even know where to begin. I'm sorry this chapter has taken so many months. I never intended to walk away from this story but life inevitably got in the way.

Thank you to everyone who has continued to read this story, and a special thank you to everyone who has continued to review during my absence. Every single review has meant the world to me.

Please accept my apology for being gone so long. Please let me know if you want me to keep going. And on a lighter note, please let me know if you've been watching Mayans and saw David La Brava on the last season! Seriously, no one I know watches that show and I have no one to talk to about it. I'm bursting with opinions and no one to share them with :)

Btw, I promised some of you ages ago that another Son would be showing up in this chapter. I'm sorry to say that they won't because it was getting a little too long and I had to cut it off. But I promise, promise, promise, Sarah will meet another one of our favorite bikers in the next update.

So yeah, to anyone still invested in this story, you're amazing. And as always, I truly hope you enjoy reading this and please review…

Chapter 11

Later that night Sarah sat alone in her kitchen, a glass of wine and her cell phone resting on the table in front of her. She raised the merlot to her lips and let the slightly sweet, fruity liquid coat her tongue before she sat it back down, crossed her arms, and leaned forward so that her elbows landed on the table. Then she let Rachel's words from earlier echo through her head one more time. Ask to spend the weekend with him. If he says no, he's hiding something…

Sarah wished she could brush it away. Ignore it. Dismiss the entire notion as just some crazy theory that her equally crazy sister came up with because Rachel doesn't believe there's a man on Earth who can be trusted. But as hard as she tried, she just couldn't let it go, because Sarah had a pretty hard time trusting men herself. God, I can't even keep track of how many affairs Dad has had. And I was married to Brian for years and never once believed he was capable of cheating on me. Maybe I'm a shitty judge of character. Maybe I'm just gullible. Maybe I'm…no, stop. Seriously, just stop…

She blew out a long breath and shook her head. This is ridiculous. Yes, my father is a chronic womanizer, and yes, my ex-husband is a two-timing asshole. But Benny isn't that guy. I just…I just know it. I know it like I know my name. So I'm going to call him, like I always do, and I'm going to ask if I can drive up to Charming this weekend. And he's going to say yes, and we're going to have an amazing time, and then I'll get to come back and tell Rachel how wrong she was about everything.

She took one more gulp of wine before picking up her phone and dialing Benny's number, smiling to herself as soon as she heard his gravelly voice on the other end of the line. "Hey, you. How was your day?"

She could barely hear him over the classic rock blaring in the background as he almost shouted into the phone. "Hold on..." A few seconds later she thought she heard a door opening before the sound of the music faded away. "Hey. Sorry about that."

"That's ok. Are you at your clubhouse?" Benny had told her about the little bar that only members of their motorcycle club were allowed to go to. It seemed like he hung out there every free second he had.

"Yeah. A few of our brothers came in from out of town, so there's a party."

Sarah huffed out a laugh. "It's a Wednesday."

Benny chuckled into the phone. "That doesn't exactly stop us."

A few seconds of silence passed before Sarah finally took a breath and tried like hell to hide the nerves in her voice. "So listen…I miss you, Benny. I really, really miss you."

She could swear his voice got even lower than usual, somehow even more intense. "I miss you too."

A sweet smile that he couldn't see fleeted across her lips. "Good, because I was thinking that maybe I would head up to Charming on Friday night and spend the weekend with you."

It may have been only a moment of hesitation before Benny spoke, but it was long enough for a pit to form in the base of Sarah's stomach. "I don't know if this weekend's the best time…"

"I know you're busy. I wouldn't come up until late Friday night…"

"It's not that…"

"And if you already have plans, I can just hang out at your apartment or something until…"

"Things are crazy here right now…"

"As long as we can spend a little time together…"

"Sarah, I can't. Next week I'll ride down to Bakers…"

"And I really want to meet some of your friends. I want to see where you work. I want to see where you live. I just…"

"Sarah, I said no!"

Her eyes widened and her heart sank as she took the phone from her ear and stared at it, astonished. Did he just yell at me? Then she slowly moved it back just in time to hear a long breath escape from Benny's lips.

"Fuck. I didn't…I didn't mean to..."

"You know what? Forget it." Whatever he was going to say next, she didn't want to hear it. An 'I told you so' in her sister's voice was rattling around in her head and angry tears were brimming behind her lashes. No, she thought as she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, I've heard enough for tonight. "Forget I said anything. Forget I asked. Forget I called."

"Sarah, come on..."

"And while you're at it, why don't you forget about coming down next week. I'm pretty sure I'll be too busy."

"Sarah, don't…"

"Goodnight, Benny."

Sarah hung up the phone and threw it back down on the table, ignoring it for the next several minutes as it vibrated constantly. After a while, she just turned it off before leaning back in her chair and swallowing down the lump in her throat. Then she looked up at the ceiling, shook her head, and sighed. Rachel was right. He's hiding something.

Happy called Sarah's number for the seventh time in a row, but it just went straight to voicemail. "Fuck!"

"Hey. Something wrong, man?"

Hap glanced up and saw Jax striding across the lot in his direction, a look of concern on his face. So Happy quickly stared down at his phone once more before shoving it into his pocket and meeting his brother's gaze. "No. I'm…" He took a breath, relaxed his shoulders, and slipped on the calm, collected mask he always showed to the world. "I'm all good, Prez."

Jax never second guessed him, but Hap couldn't blame his brother when he raised a disbelieving brow. "You sure?"

Happy just nodded. "Yeah. You need something?"

Jax looked at him for just a split second longer than usual before shaking his head. "No, I just wanted to check on your head."

Hap reached his hand towards his right temple, just above his ear, and ran his fingertips gently over the short line of sutures that Tara had sewn in just a couple of hours earlier. He'd been lucky. That fucking Russian had only grazed him. "It's fine. The doc did good." He kept that same, stoic expression on his face as he spoke, but inside, all he could think about was the sound of Sarah's voice right before she hung up on him. And how I need to fix it.

Hap took a step towards his Dyna. "Listen, I'm heading down to my mom's place tonight. There's some shit I gotta handle and…"

"It's gonna have to wait." Jax nodded towards the clubhouse. "I just got a call. We're meeting with those Aryans dipshits in an hour. I need you to back me up."

There was only a moment of hesitation before Happy nodded. Of course he would be there for his club. He always would be. But as he followed Jax back into the clubhouse, Hap wasn't thinking about getting shot, or the Russians, or the Aryans, or even his brothers. He only thought of the pretty brunette he'd hurt that night, and how he'd give anything in the world to make it right.

Sarah slammed the door of her Toyota, leaned her head back against the headrest, and groaned. It was Friday night and she was finally leaving the insurance office after a long day's work, anxiously heading home to a bottle of riesling and a scalding hot bath. God, the last two days have sucked…

She still hadn't spoken to Benny, despite how much she missed the sound of his voice. After she powered down her phone Wednesday night, she went straight to bed and didn't turn it on again until Thursday afternoon. But once her screen flashed on, she saw one missed call from her sister, one voicemail from her mom, and five missed texts from Benny. Sarah had lost track of how many times she'd read them.

Wed 9:07pm I didn't mean to raise my voice to you. Charming is just crazy right now. Call me back.

Wed 9:13pm You know I want to see you. Let me explain. Answer your phone.

Wed 10:48pm I'm helping my club out with some shit for the next few hours. Won't be able to answer the phone. Text me back.

Thu 04:02am I just got home. I know you're probably sleeping, but just call me. I don't care what time it is. I'll answer.

Thu 08:34am I'm sorry.

She placed her hands on the steering wheel and sighed. Since the second she read those messages yesterday, Sarah had hovered over Benny's name in her phone more times than she could count. But something always kept her from pressing send. I'm scared. She felt like a coward, but she couldn't deny it. I'm just fucking scared. Benny, he's…he's been so amazing to me. And it's not just about him saving my life. It's so much more. The entire time I've known him he's reminded me of what it feels like to be taken care of, reminded me of what it feels like to be treated well, reminded me of what it feels like to open yourself up and let yourself fall…

But now she was too scared to talk to him, too scared to hear his excuses, too scared that soon all he'll remind her of is what it feels like to be lied to by a man you thought you could trust.

The only response to his calls and texts came in the form of a short message Sarah texted Thursday afternoon.

Thu 1:16pm At work. Dinner with my parents tonight. We can talk this weekend.

He had responded with a simple "Ok" a few seconds later. She hadn't expected more.

So now she was headed home, ready to spend her Friday night sulking alone on her sofa, obsessing about a guy she wasn't even sure she could call her boyfriend. But she knew her plans were going to change when she pulled up in front of her house and saw that her front door had been kicked in, shattered glass covering the front porch just below where her window used to be.

All thoughts of Benny temporarily drifted away as Sarah double checked that her car doors were locked before quickly reaching for her phone. Then she dialed 9-1-1.

Hap had had enough. He'd tried to respect what Sarah wanted and give her some space until Saturday, but he hadn't talked to her in two fucking days and he needed to know that she was ok. That we're ok. So he made his way past the sweetbutts and hang arounds that crowded the Rogue River clubhouse, walked down the hall, and went into the first empty room he found and closed the door behind him. Then he took his phone from his pocket and dialed her number, almost certain that his call would go unanswered. But a breath he didn't know he was holding eased from his lips when he heard her voice after the first ring.

"Benny?"

"Hey. Sarah, I just…about the other night, I…"

"Hold on just one second. Don't hang up." He could tell that she had moved the phone away from her face but she could still pick up every word she was saying. "Yes, officer. Thank you. No, I don't know. I will. Thanks." Then she must have raised the phone back to her lips. "Sorry, I…"

But he interrupted her, his chest tightening in a way he'd never quite felt before. "Was that a cop? What happened? Are you alright?"

She sounded so tired. "My house was broken into."

Panic was an emotion that Happy wasn't very familiar with, but that's the only way to describe what he was feeling in that moment. "Tell me you're ok."

"I'm fine. It happened when I was at work. I got home around 7:30 and saw that my door was open and my front window was broken. The police came about fifteen minutes later and walked through the house. Whoever did it was gone."

Happy looked down at his phone and saw that it was almost 10pm. "Why didn't you call me?"

Sarah let out an exhausted sigh. "I had to wait outside until the cops got here, wait again while they made sure the house was safe to go into, walk through the entire house to see what all was stolen, and then file a police report. It's been hours and I haven't even sat down yet, Benny. I haven't called anyone. And I appreciate how concerned you sound. I really do. But there was no point in calling you. There's nothing you can do from Charming."

Hap had to clench his jaw to keep from saying out loud the words coursing through his head. Why call me? What's the fucking point? You call because I could have already been on my way to you. You call me because everything that happens to you matters to me. You call me because I love you…

Instead he swallowed down his thoughts and tried to clear his head. "I'm not in Charming. I'm in Oregon."

"Oregon? Did you go on another trip already?"

There had been a shootout with a rival gang and Rogue River needed Samcro to back them up. But he wasn't about to get into that right now. "I had to help out some friends. What did they take, Sarah?"

He knew she'd deny it if he asked, but he could tell she was close to tears. "Um, just everything worth anything. The TV, the stereo, my laptop, my couch, about $1,000 I had hidden in a shoebox in my closet. Even my grandma's jewelry that I kept in a box by my bed…"

Her voice was starting to break, and it fucking gutted him. "Baby, I'm sorry."

"It's alright. I'm alright." But she sounded anything but.

As he gave her a few seconds to compose herself, Hap thought about the little house she lived in, all alone, and the shitty neighborhood that surrounded it. "Where are you right now?"

"On my porch. I don't really want to go inside until the repairman gets here to secure the house."

"What do you mean, 'secure' it?"

"The police gave me his number. He said he'd be here in the next hour or so to nail some plywood over the window and fix the lock on the door."

"And then where are you going?"

"To bed."

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You mean you're staying in that house tonight? Alone? With nothing but a piece of fucking plywood to keep you safe?"

"The wood is harder to break than the glass was. And besides, there's nothing left to take. Anything worth worrying about is already gone."

He rolled his eyes to the ceiling as his hand clenched so hard around his phone he thought he heard it crack. "Sarah, you're still in the house. You're worth worrying about." He took a deep breath and sighed. "Why don't you go to your mom and dad's place? Or Rachel's?"

"I can't deal with them tonight. I just can't. Every person in my family has lectured me about what a dangerous part of town this is since the day I moved in. I can't listen to them say 'I told you so' right now."

"Then stay at a hotel."

"Benny, I'm not exactly rolling in cash. Everything I own was stolen tonight, and god knows how long it's going to take my insurance claim to be processed. I have to write a check tonight for $500 to the guy coming to board up the house. I can't waste another hundred on a hotel."

"I'll pay for it."

"Absolutely not."

"Sarah…"

"No, Benny! I haven't spoken to you in days. I don't even know if we're…" Whatever frustration was in her voice faded into a quiet sadness that made him ache inside. "I don't know what's going on between us. I don't know what, what I am to you. I don't know what we're doing, or if we're even still…There's so much I don't know." Then she paused and took a slow, deep breath. "But I sure as hell know that I'm not taking your money."

He let his eyes drift shut as a long silence passed between them, one that left him feeling a sort of emptiness that he hadn't experienced since before the first night they met. Since I tucked her into my old bed and felt the Earth shift beneath my feet. Suddenly, Hap's eyes shot open. That image of Sarah sleeping, wrapped up in his Oakland A's sheets, reminded him of an obvious answer to where Sarah would be safest for the night.

"Then go stay at my mom's house."

"What?"

"It's just a few blocks away. There's a key hidden outside of the garage."

"I don't know if…"

"Just pack a bag and go. Don't even wait for the asshole coming to fix the lock. Let him bill you."

"My house will be…"

"You can stay as long as you need to. There's no food there, but the water and electric are still turned on."

"Benny, I…"

"Sarah, I swear to fucking God I will get on my bike right now, ride straight to Bakersfield, and drag you away from there if you don't get out of that house and go to my mom's tonight."

She must have known he was serious, because after a few tense seconds, she finally agreed. "Fine. What's the address?"

He gave her directions to the house along with the exact location of the key to the back door, told her where to find the thermostat and how to adjust the hot water heater. Then, once she had all the information she would need, he ran a hand over his head and frowned. "I'd come down tonight if I could. You know that, right?" When she didn't say anything, he looked down at his shoes and sighed. "I'll be back in Charming by Sunday afternoon. So I'll get to Bakersfield by Sunday night…"

"It's really ok. I'll be back in my house by then."

"It's not about the house, Sarah. I need to see you. I need…we need to talk, about everything. Can I see you?"

It was only a few moments before she spoke, but it felt like hours before he heard her quiet voice answer back. "Yeah. Ok. Sunday night." He thought she was going to hang up the phone, but after a second she added, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Letting me stay at your house. You're right, about my place. I don't really feel safe here. I just didn't have anywhere else to go. I just, I didn't mean to sound ungrateful. I am very grateful. It's really nice of you to offer me a place to stay. So, thank you."

As he listened, Hap had to swallow down a lump forming in the base of his throat. She thinks I'm doing her a favor. She thinks I'm being fucking nice. If anything, I'm being fucking selfish. Keeping her safe keeps me functioning. Keeping her safe keeps me breathing. How can she not see that? Have can she not feel it?

His voice almost trembled. "Sarah, do you have any idea what you mean to me?"

She only said a single word before she ended the call, her voice barely more than a whisper.

"No."

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