Glow

by jalpari

The team tries to understand more about the powers Noor unleashed on Sepi and the contents of the vial.

A/N:

Trigger warning - There is some description of self harm in this chapter but not in the context of any suicidal or self destructive tendencies.

P. S. - I use a hindi phrase in this chapter, 'Hey bhagwaan!', which basically means 'Oh god!'

"Her energy signatures are nothing like I've ever seen before", Pidge adjusted her spectacles. "We've had to recalibrate everything just to measure them. The biorhythms we were tracking her with are all gone. It's like her entire...energy...changed on Sepi."

"Is she stable?" Keith frowned.

"Stable? She's thriving!" Pidge exclaimed. "Her signals are strong and seem to be increasing."

"Is that good or bad?"

"I don't think it's a bad thing. It's not just her biorhythm that's changed. Something else...I can't put a finger on it...but something else has changed in her and it's clearly handling this transformation…"

"Spirit…", Bani interrupted, "It's called spirit. That something you're talking about. Everyone has it. It supports something inside you...and it takes over when you let go."

"So, something in her spirit was affected by the experiments?"

"Possibly", Bani nodded.

"What about the vials? Any luck with them?"

"Whatever they are, they have similar readings as her."

"It's like there's spirit in bottle", Pidge giggled out loud.

Bani looked at the vials carefully.

"Wait", Pidge sobered up, "that's not possible, is it?"

"Who knows! Everything is so unfamiliar and strange", Bani sighed.

"Wait", Pidge exclaimed, "we have seen such level before. How did I not realize it!"

"Where?" Keith asked.

"Umm", she hesitated, "in the quintessence Haggar was trying to harness."

"She has quintessence in her?!" Keith gasped in disbelief.

"Not exactly, but something like it."

"Is she…", Keith began but paused. "When will she wake up?"

Keith leaned forward and gazed into the healing pod. Noor was unconscious but looked so serene, as if in a peaceful slumber. She was surrounded by the decontamination vapors. She looked like an otherworldly being amidst the purple haze.

"Don't worry, a few more ticks", Pidge grinned. "Miss her already?"

"What!" Keith's eyes opened wide, "That's not what…"

Just then, the pod opened and a cool mist escaped it. They heard a soft moan and Noor opened her eyes. She gave them a tired smile and began standing up. Her legs caved and she tumbled forward onto Keith. He fell back unprepared and they both crashed onto the ground. Instinctively, Keith wrapped his arms around her and held on tight.

"Ow!" She screeched as they landed. "Keith!"

"Ughh…", he groaned, "What?"

"I thought you were stronger than that", she rubbed her arm and forehead as she stood up shakily.

"I'll take that as a thank you for breaking your fall", he rolled his eyes and stood up.

She glared at him as she walked towards Bani and Pidge. Keith glared back and crossed his arms across his chest, looking away.

"So...what did you find?" Noor stood with her hand on her hips. "Am I an alien yet", she gave a sarcastic smile.

"Define alien", Pidge smirked.

"I mean...not human", Noor pouted.

"Well...technically, you're not the same as...before…"

"What does that mean?"

"Your biomarkers...your entire signature, is different now."

Noor looked confused. She wrapped her arms around herself.

"Okay…", she whispered. "So what now…"

"I'm not sure if I should remove the contents of the vial for experiments. The last time we trapped a strange entity on our ship, it possessed Allura and nearly killed us all."

"But we can try some other kinds of tests with you", Bani added.

"Like what?" Keith stood beside Noor and his face softened.

"Well, we can submerge her in water again. That seems to have triggered something in the past."

"Fine", Noor nodded.

She took in a few deep breaths as she lowered herself into the pool.

"Are you sure she should be alone in there", Keith frowned.

"Yeah, I don't think that's a good idea either", Luten sat beside the pool.

Pidge looked at Noor who gave a small nod. "Let's give it a few seconds first."

Noor leaned back and floated on the surface. She closed her eyes and relaxed, comforted by the lapping water. She held a weight over her chest and slowly, let it take her down. As her face disappeared into the blue, Keith bit his lips and shook his head.

"I don't like this", he whispered.

They watched as Noor stayed under for several seconds. For a while nothing happened, then they saw her surface.

"Nope", she spoke as she wiped her face, "nothing's happening."

"Alright, come out", Luten offered his hand.

She shook her head, "Not yet. I have an...idea. When I was in the tub with Pidge and inside that tank at the base, both times...I was...injured."

"And…", Pidge began following her thought process, "you think that's what triggered whatever happened...the glow…"

Noor nodded her head.

"So what are you suggesting?"

"Okay...hear me out before you yell at me...I could injure myself just a little...It might help!"

"No way", Keith shook his head, "get out now."

"Excuse me?" Noor frowned. "You can't tell me what to do."

"Noor…"

"I'm going to do whatever it takes. We have to try. Now give me your blade."

"What?! I am not going to…"

"Hey bhagwaan!", she waded through the water towards him and reached for the blade strapped to his waist.

"No!" Keith blocked her hand.

"Give it!" she snapped and fought him off with one hand. "Pidge, help me!"

Pidge smirked and caught hold of Keith's arms. Noor snatched the dagger off the holster and waded back hastily, out of his reach.

"Noor, I swear to god if you…"

"Calm down, dummy. I know what I'm doing."

Noor took in a deep breath and lifted her leg up. She slid the blade across her thigh and hid her wince as her skin split open. She gulped and smiled at the group reassuringly. She looked at the wound, dissatisfied, and then held the tip of the dagger below her collarbone.

"What do you think you're…"

"I don't think the thigh cut is enough. I'm just going to slightly…"

"That's it", Keith jumped in. "You've lost your mind."

"Guys, can you please hold this moron back", Noor groaned.

Keith approached her angrily. Before he could grab her, she hid the blade behind her and placed one hand on his chest.

"Just trust me, please."

Something in her eyes made Keith stop. He held her gaze for several seconds. He threw his head back with a groan and dragged his hands down his face. He glanced back at the others. Luten had a frown but he shrugged. Pidge was smiling and gesturing him to come back. Hunk looked worried but said nothing. Shiro and Bani nodded at him silently.

"Fine", he turned his attention back to Noor, "but only a tiny cut", he added with a whisper.

Noor saluted him mockingly.

"Stupid girl", he grunted and got out of the pool.

Noor took a deep breath and placed the blade on her skin once more. She slowly pushed it in and swallowed her whimper. Carefully, she dragged it across and carved it open. A few blood drops trickled out. She saw Hunk and Shiro gasp and Luten curl his lips inwards. She winked at them and steadied her trembling body.

She lay back again and lifted the weight. She sank in and waited. Pidge watched in anticipation. Sure enough, a glow began emerging.

"That's it", she whispered to the others, "this is exactly what happened in the tub."

The glow lingered around her body. They watched and waited, expecting her to surface any moment.

"How long has it been?" Luten asked.

"About a minute", Hunk gasped.

"How is that possible!?" Luten exclaimed in disbelief.

"Maybe she can hold her breath really long", Pidge offered. "The record on earth is 30 minutes."

They sat patiently and after 5 minutes, the glow began to recede.

"She's coming up", Luten jumped.

Noor's body floated up and she opened her eyes slowly. She pushed the weight off and stood up. She ran her hands down her head and face, squeezing the water out. She touched her chest and felt for the cut. It was smooth. Her eyes opened wide and she hurriedly lifted her leg and stared at her thigh. It was smooth too.

Her heart raced and she felt a thrill rush through her body. A smile spread across her lips, gradually growing wider and wider. She looked up at the group, ecstatic and bewildered. Everyone looked astonished. Her eyes landed on Keith and she gave him a smug grin. Keith rolled his eyes and huffed.

"Get out of the water now", he grunted.

Noor swam over and climbed out of the pool.

"I don't know how I did it, but I healed myself. I fucking healed the cuts!"

Everyone chuckled at the astounded girl. Pidge stepped forward and studied the healed skin.

"This is...unbelievable. It's like there was no wound here at all. I know some races are known to heal quickly. But you were in there for just five minutes!"

"I KNOW!" she shrieked and began jumping in place.

"Alright, let's go back to the lab", Hunk laughed and held her down by her shoulders.

"I got a sample of the water when she was in there", Bani said as she took Noor's vitals and some other readings quickly.

"I think I can run her markers through a pattern map I have been building since we began traveling across the universe. I can try finding the closest match and maybe even understand its nature based on its relative…"

"There's literally no need to explain it to us", Keith interrupted her. "Just tell us the results once you're done."

"You can tell me, Pidge", Noor smiled. "I really want to know."

The next morning, everyone gathered after breakfast in the control room. Noor paced nervously as she watched Pidge and Bani pull up a bunch of screens.

"Right now your markers are somewhere between the average levels in the Olkari and Alteans. It is close to the intensity of the quintessence we have encountered in the past but still nowhere close to the pure quintessence Haggar had wielded", Pidge was showing a series of waves that undulated with occasional surges and dips.

She superimposed multiple patterns and Noor watched as she adjusted the visualization density and axes.

"It seems that your levels are fluctuating but there is a pattern to it. This morning they grew by a factor of 0.6. It could be that the visions you have during your sleep play a role in this. I think, if the creature had been successful in injecting you with the remaining two vials, your spikes would be much higher. Maybe even closer to the pure quintessence. Also", she swiped and brought up a scan of a body.

"This is a real time signature image of you", Pidge continued. "We can track your energy intensity, fluctuations, vitals, and other stuff. It could bring something new to light if you are able to do the water thing again or if something happens during your sleep."

"Oh", Noor shuffled uncomfortably. "Is that going to be...visible to everyone all the time?"

"I can keep it on if needed, yes", Pidge chuckled. "Why?"

"It's just...it feels like an invasion of my privacy", Noor's cheeks turned red.

"Look at that", Pidge pointed at the image, "your embarrassment is showing."

"Shut up, Pidge!" Noor snapped. "Please turn that off for now."

"Hmm...", Bani frowned. "Your anger seems to have a huge impact on the signature. It's firing your...that's weird…", she zoomed in on Noor's head, "Usually the hypothalamus and amygdala would light up and Catecholamines levels shoot up. But in your case, areas in the peripheral system are lighting up."

"What does that mean?" Noor asked.

"The somatosensory", Bani replied but then paused looking at the confused faces around her, "I mean it's like all your senses are exploding. They are becoming more sensitive to any sensory stimuli."

"And look at this", Pidge pointed to a dynamic graph. "Is that right?"

"Hmm", Bani observed the changing levels, "the theta and alpha waves in your brain are higher which makes no sense because they indicate a meditative state, almost like you're having a dream; possibly even disassociating. It looks like your gamma waves will rise too if your anger increases, which indicate a spiritual emergence...a unity of conscious perception. As expected though, your delta waves were off the charts in the pool - because of the healing."

"Look at the hippocampus", Bani exclaimed excitedly, "latest research has revealed a new segment there which decodes skill memory and it seems like that is getting triggered right now. As if the anger is stimulating your brain to retrieve some stored learned memory."

"Jeez", Noor let out a long exhale, "this is a lot of smart words and science to take in in less than a minute."

"Basically", Pidge turned towards her, "Instead of showing the usual symptoms of anger, your body and brain are showing unexpected behaviors. It's as if your going into a meditative, almost spiritual state. It's like your brain is somehow uniting all your senses and your conscious perception. It's trying to dig deep into your memory to retrieve something."

"Trust me, I feel anything but calm and meditative right now", Noor snorted.

"Right now the levels aren't high enough but if your anger keeps increasing, you will show stronger signs of this behaviour and perhaps even disassociate."

"By disassociate you mean...disconnect from my body? Like detach from my immediate reality?" Noor's eyes opened wide.

"Maybe…but we can't be sure."

"Okay", Noor took in another deep breath and paced back and forth. "So...this morning has been productive...at least we learnt a lot more about my...state...and the vials. So what can we do next? Before I float away from body and go crazy."

Noor began biting her nails compulsively as her pace increased.

"Noor", she felt a hand on her shoulder. Luten stopped her in place, "you need to stay calm."

Noor nodded as she folded her fingers into a fist and pressed them against her sides.

"We'll reach the swap moon by tomorrow evening", Bani announced.

"Alright", Shiro nodded, "Bani, I need to go over any and all of the updates from the Olkari, the Coalition, Blades…"

"I'll join you", Keith followed Shiro as the others left the control room.

"You're holding back!"

"No, I'm not!"

"Why are you holding back today?"

"Noor...I...alright...I am holding back. You're going through…"

"I'm perfectly fine."

"Are you really…"

"Come on...let's do this right."

"Alright." Luten sighed and took his stance.

As they began sparring once more, Noor attacked with precision. She was in complete sync with the blades. Luten kept his shield handy as he kept dodging and evading her. Noor, on the other hand, barely opened her shield. The few times Luten did attack her with his light whip, she ran, leapt, slid and flowed like water. And just like water, she was difficult to catch hold of. After a few minutes, Noor groaned in frustration.

"You're not attacking me, Luten!" She growled as she lunged at him.

She spun around and landed a kick square on his stomach, sending him reeling back. With another swipe at his feet, she broke his stance and sent him crashing to the ground. As Luten landed on the floor wincing in pain, Noor stood over him, her daggers hovering over his neck and chest.

"I don't want your pity." She snapped.

"I don't pity you. I…", Luten muttered. "...I care."

Noor frowned and stared at his face. She removed her foot off his chest and crossed her hands across her chest.

"I want to train. I want to get better. And for that, I need you to push me. Not treat me like a fragile person."

With that, Noor walked away. Her daggers flew to the shelf and the door shut close as she left the training room.

Noor wasn't able to sleep. Her mind raced with all the information and events of the day. She needed a distraction. Otherwise she would fall down a dangerous hole in her mind. She walked to the training room and wrapped the bandage on her hands. She focussed all her frustration and restlessness on the training obstacles. As she punched and kicked her way around them, practicing different sets and combos, time flew by.

"No sleep?"

Noor paused as she recognized the voice. She held the punching bag in place and took a deep breath.

"Nope."

"What's going on?"

"Nothing."

"Look I'm not really good at talking with people, and I don't expect you to open up to me, but if there's ever anything on your mind…", Keith walked over to her, "...I'm just saying...I'm right here."

Noor turned around and unwrapped her bandages. She untied her sweaty hair and ran her hands through it as she held Keith's gaze.

"Why are you up so late?" she finally spoke.

"Uhh...I wasn't able to sleep too…", Keith shuffled in place.

Noor narrowed her eyes and tilted her head.

"Fine", Keith shrugged, "I was hungry. I had some leftover...muffins."

"There were leftover muffins!?"

"Just one. I think Hunk miscalculated today", he grinned.

"Oh", Noor bit her lips. "Just one, huh…"

Noor turned back to place the bandages on the table.

"Don't you want some?"

"What?" Noor's head perked up and she turned around quickly.

Keith chuckled and held the muffin out to her.

"Yes!" Noor gladly took it but she broke it and handed one half back to him.

"Here…", she shrugged. "It's only fair."

"Wow, how very generous", Keith took the piece and they leaned against the table and ate in silence.

"I was wondering…", Noor began but then hesitated. "Would you...I mean if it's alright...would you mind training with me some time?"

"What about Luten?"

Noor looked at the ground, unsure of how to respond.

"Ever since I got back...he's been...he's treating me differently. He held back during our sparring session. And it's beginning to annoy me. I want to learn more and get stronger."

"You could ask Shiro. He was the one who taught me everything."

"I could...but I like your fighting style."

"Uhh", Keith felt his face turn red, "Thanks. But I don't think I would be a very good teacher...I'd be much worse than Luten."

"Oh...alright", Noor mumbled and continued nibbling on the muffin. "Anyway, I should go...and try to get some sleep."

With a small wave of her hand, Noor left. Keith wondered why he had refused to train her. He had trained with the paladins before and he had worked with a lot of the new Blades.

"What the hell was that?" He muttered to himself baffled.

Noor trudged along to her room. She felt angry, dejected, and disappointed all at once. She tried shaking off the heaviness by reminding herself that there were plenty of others who could help her. Shiro would definitely be the best teacher among all of them. Feeling a little more hopeful, she walked to her door but was startled by a sudden voice.

"Hey! Hold on…"

"Keith?"

"I…", he caught up with her, "I could try…"

"Try what?"

"Umm…helping you out..."

"Oh." Noor was surprised. "Okay...I thought you said…"

"Yeah but, I mean...I have trained some of the new Blades so maybe I wouldn't be the worst person for the job."

"I can work with that", Noor nodded and smiled.

"Okay then", he grinned sheepishly.

"Okay then", Noor chuckled. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."