Skystar let out a huff, it had been a moon since the Battle Royale had started, and yet, there was no deaths.
"I am sooo freakin pissed!" he yowled, "I've been waiting for moons to see some gory deaths, and all I get are more kits added to the clans!" he started shaking, "I'm going to have a b.f.!"
Tornear narrowed his eyes.
"Wait, what's a b.f.?"
"He's going to have a bitch fit!" Gray Wing exclaimed, "You better get out of here!"
All the cats in StarClan stepped back a few fox lengths, not wanting to experience the b.f. that Skystar was about to have.
Meanwhile, at the moonpool...
"Can we go swimming in the moonpool?" Frostedflake asked.
"No you mouse-brain, you'll drown," Jayfeather snapped.
Frecklespeckle snorted and rolled his eyes.
"Maybe with you supervising us."
"Come on everyone, we're medicine cats, we're supposed to be nice to each other," Kestrelflight meowed.
"Yeah!" Puddleshine exclaimed, "Peace and love!"
"AND CATMINT!" Sweetheart exclaimed, throwing some catmint up in the air, and then dancing under it.
Jayfeather stuck his head in the moonpool, desperate to end his miserable existence. It seemed like with each moon he lived, the cats around him just kept getting dumber and dumber.
"Whatcha doin, Jayfeather?"
"AH!" Jayfeather jumped back, his heart pounding at the sight of Yellowfang's face.
"She's always harrassing me!" he spat, he couldn't visit the moonpool without seeing Yellowfang, he couldn't sleep without seeing her in his dreams!
"I think she's sweet on you," Sourpatch meowed.
"What?" Jayfeather stared at the cat as though he had three heads, maybe he did, he couldn't see.
"This Yellerfang she-cat, I think she thinks yer a mighty swell fella."
"Uhhhh.."
Jayfeather had no idea what to say, what if Yellowfang was in love with him? He had no idea how he could reject the old medicine cat. He didn't love her though, and he wouldn't pretend like he did either.
He sighed, he thought being part of a huge prophecy was hard, but this seemed like it was going to be even harder!
In the Dark Forest, Darkstripe was teaching his kits nefarious ways to take down their enemies.
"Listen up kits," he began, "If you're not super tomly and buff like Tigerstar," he let out a wistful sigh, "then you have to use your brains."
"We have to crack open our skulls and use our brains?" Willowkit shrieked.
"Maybe you should start working on building up your muscle," Darkstripe told his daughter, before turning to his sons.
"Alright, the first lesson, is to trick a cat into eating deathberries, does anyone know how you might do that?"
"Tell them that they're um juniper berries?" Tigerkit asked.
"What if they're healthy mouse-brain? What then?" Dirtkit asked.
Tigerkit shuffled his paws.
"Well, uh, you could say that they're regular berries to snack on."
Dirtkit rolled his eyes.
"Cats don't eat berries for fun, mouse-brain, we're strict meat eaters."
Tigerkit buried his face in his paws and started wailing.
"He's not wrong you know," Darkstripe meowed, "It is very easy to trick a kit into eating deathberries."
Tigerkit gasped and looked up.
"Why would you kill a kit?"
Darkstripe shrugged.
"I'd do anything for Tigerstar, in fact!" he suddenly jumped up onto a stump.
"Attention cats of all clans!" he yowled.
"What in the Dark Forest is he doing?" a cat muttered.
"I don't know," said another, and they all ignored him.
"I SAID ATTENTION CATS OF ALL CLANS!"
When yet again, no one paid any attention, he growled, and jumped off the stump.
"Come on kits, it's up to us," he meowed to his kits.
"What's up to us?" Willowkit asked, her blue eyes opened wide.
"We're going to bring back Tigerstar."
A/N: The B.F. part is from the movie, White Chicks.