A/N: A short chapter. Mac struggles to come to terms with having a new partner, and admitting Harm may be dead.
Adjustments
JAG Headquarters
June 11, 2001
0700 Local
Mac arrived at JAG headquarters long before most of the other staff, walked through the bullpen to her office, then closed both her door and the blinds. Deep down, she knew the admiral had made the right decision in bringing in a new lawyer to fill the gap left by Harm, but it didn't mean she had to like it. And she certainly didn't want a bird's eye view of someone else sitting in Harm's office.
She was glad she wasn't around when Tiner and Gunny removed Harm's personal belongings on Thursday afternoon. It was bad enough she'd had to endure the sight of the empty office when she returned on Friday. Now, there was nothing to indicate Harmon Rabb, Jr. ever occupied the space. His model Tomcat, Stearman, and helmet were gone. Personal photos and other items had been boxed away, although Mac had no idea what Tiner did with them. She hoped he hadn't given them to Renee. Harm's mother should have them—no one else. Someone had even removed his nameplate from above the door.
It wouldn't be the first time another person occupied the space next to her. When Harm left JAG to go back to flying, Mic had moved in. Not only into Harm's office but eventually into her life. She should have never allowed things to go as far as they did. Should have trusted her gut instinct from the time she met him. Never should have agreed to that first dinner with him. Never should have gone with him to the beach in Sydney, and most of all shouldn't have accepted his ring.
Mac absently rubbed her now bare finger. Funny how she didn't miss it. Matter of fact, she felt as if a huge weight had been lifted. A sickening feeling washed over her when she thought of Mic's visit to her apartment a few days earlier. She hadn't been in the mood to see anyone—least of all him. But in true self-serving fashion, he barged in and demanded to see her. Everything was always about him, and he had a way of manipulating her into feeling guilty.
He'd made the sacrifice to give up his career. He'd given up a lucrative job so he wouldn't have to defend the doctor who delivered little Sarah Roberts. Mic had turned on the pity party because he couldn't find a job, could no longer afford his own apartment. So she'd moved the ring and allowed him to move in with her.
But when he'd started in about Harm a few days ago, it was the last straw. How dare Mic insinuate Harm was dead? Mac's struggled with her inner thoughts.
But isn't he? It's been over two weeks.
No! He can't be. Somehow, I would know it.
Then why can't you find him?
Mac closed her eyes and tried to focus. The night of his crash, she'd seen the empty life raft. She'd attempted to "find" him several times since then, but only once had gotten a glimpse of ocean waves and what was either a bed or a coffin. She didn't want to think about the latter possibility.
The buzzing intercom was a welcome relief. "Col. Mackenzie."
"Ma'am, the admiral wants to see you in his office ASAP."
"Thank you, Tiner."
Mac rose, then made her way to her CO's office.
Tiner stood when she entered the room. "He said to go right in, Ma'am."
She opened the door to Chegwidden's office. "You wanted to see me, Sir?"
"Come in, Colonel, and have a seat. Close the hatch behind you."
For the first time, she noticed the uniformed officer sitting in front of the admiral's desk. Sitting in Harm's chair! What gave him the right?
"Lt. Col. Sarah Mackenzie, meet your new partner, Lt. Cdr. Rick Hughes."
Commander Hughes stood. "Col. Mackenzie. I look forward to working with you."
Mac ignored him. "My new partner? But, Sir—"
"I thought we'd settled this, Colonel."
"I understand the need to bring in someone else, but why do I have to partner with him? I don't need anyone."
"But the commander needs someone to show him the ropes."
"Why not, Lt. Roberts?"
"Because I want a senior officer to do the task. Do you have a problem with following orders?"
Mac snapped to attention. "No, sir!"
"Fine. Then the first thing is to show Commander Hughes to his new office. Dismissed."
"Yes, sir!" Both officers said in unison.
Mac turned, then left the office without bothering to see if Hughes had followed. She stormed across the bullpen, ignoring the curious looks of everyone. When she reached Harm's office, she stopped so abruptly that Cdr. Hughes bumped into her. She whirled around and glared at him.
"I'm sorry, Colonel."
"Next time, pay more attention."
"I'll do that. But may I ask why you seem angry with me?"
"No, you may not."
"All right. Then would you mind showing me my office."
Without so much as a glance, she pointed toward the space Harm once occupied.
"Right through there." She turned, then stormed into her own office, slamming the door behind her.
North of Union Station
June 11, 2001
1900 Local
Somehow Mac managed to make it through the first day with Commander Hughes. Endured the pleasantries from the other officers toward their new coworker during the staff meeting. Hughes was a charmer who flashed his smile like a strobe light. An annoying strobe light. It wasn't Harm's smile.
That's a very nice smile, and I'm sure most of the time it gets you what you want. But I don't know you, commander. So if you don't mind, I'll keep my personal reasons to myself.
If only she could see his smile again.
Then the admiral said he would be sending her out with Hughes for investigations. It wasn't right.
Hughes knocked on her office door mid-afternoon. "Mind if I have a word with you, Colonel?"
"Make it brief."
"What do you have against me? Everyone else has welcomed me, but with you, the atmosphere is colder than Antarctica. What gives?"
Mac looked at the junior officer. Hughes probably wasn't a bad person. Not bad to look at either. He wasn't as tall as Harm—probably six-feet, had the same dark brown hair, but brown eyes. Mac could never completely decipher the color of Harm's eyes. His service record stated blue, but at times they looked green. Other times, like when they kissed on the admiral's porch, they turned smoky gray.
"Colonel?"
Mac cleared her throat. "Sorry, Commander. You were saying?"
"I asked what you have against me."
"Nothing. You're here to do a job. I'm here to do mine. Fate or whatever has put under the same command, so there's no reason to get personal."
Don't get too familiar. You two have to work together.
"Interesting. From what I hear about your last partner, the two of you were close."
"That's none of your business. Now get out of my office. I have work to do as I'm sure you do. Otherwise, I'll tell the admiral you're not needed here."
"But Mac, I—"
Mac's blood boiled. "That's Colonel Mackenzie to you. I am a superior officer, and you will treat me with respect. Dismissed."
"Yes, ma'am."
She supposed she had been too hard on Hughes. It wasn't his fault Harm was missing or that he'd been assigned to headquarters. But she still couldn't shake the feeling his assignment to Falls Church was a little premature. Harm was alive. She could feel it.
That evening, instead of going home, she drove to his apartment. Now she stood outside the door, debating on whether to go inside. This was Harm's home. She had no right to invade his personal space.
But he's not here. And you do have a spare key.
She removed the key from her purse, unlocked the door, then stepped inside.
The place was as he'd left it. M wandered into the kitchen, taking note of the potted herbs on the windowsill. They weren't even wilted. She felt the soil. It was still damp. Someone had been tending them. But who? Renee? Doubtful. Mac heard she'd left for California shortly after Harm's prayer vigil.
Mac left the kitchen, then walked up the steps to the bedroom. Harm's bed was made. In the bathroom, a towel was draped over the glass blocks of the shower. Probably the one he'd used his last morning here. Drawn to it like a moth to a flame, she walked over and buried her face in the thick terry-cloth texture. The scent was uniquely Harm. After a few minutes, she went back to the bedroom. Dropping down on the bed, she grabbed a pillow and hugged it to her body. It too smelled of Harm.
Where are you, flyboy? Please come back to me. I promise we'll get it right this time. I need you, Harm.
Tears filled her eyes as she drifted off to sleep.
Twenty-seven minutes later, she awoke with a start. Had it been a dream? She saw a beach and a rocky cove. A man walked near the shore. It was a man. He was tall, with dark brown hair. She couldn't see his face, but…
She sat straight up in bed. "Harm?"