A/N: At long last, an update. A bit of fluff, but hey, I'm a romantic at heart.
Midnight Confessions
North of Union Station
June 13, 2001
2130 Local
Mac's eyes widened. "What did you say?"
"Stay with me tonight." Harm lowered his head. "I don't want to be alone. I'd want—need—my best friend here with me."
Mac reached for his hand. "Of course I'll stay. I still have a bag here. I can sleep on the sofa."
"Where have you been sleeping?"
"In your bed."
"Then sleep there."
"But Harm, the sofa is too short for you. Besides, you said yourself how good it would be to sleep in your bed. I'll take the couch."
"We could share."
"Share?"
"I'm talking about sleeping, Mac. I'm exhausted. Besides, it isn't like we haven't hot bunked before."
Mac thought back to that night in the Appalachians. It was one thing to sleep close together to conserve body heat. Quite another to share a bed. They'd been fully clothed that night in the mountains. But unless Harm had changed, he only wore boxers to bed. It had been hard enough to resist him the night they thought Clay had died. But after sharing a kiss on the admiral's porch… Still, they were both adults. If Harm could handle sleeping in the same bed, so could she.
"Okay, flyboy. Let's go to bed."
North of Union Station
Midnight
Harm had fallen asleep almost immediately. It took a little while for Mac to do so, but she soon found herself getting drowsy. She often had insomnia, but perhaps it was the relief of finding Harm alive that she allowed herself to relax. It wasn't long before she also fell asleep.
She was awakened at 2358 by the sound of someone mumbling. Harm tossed and turned in the bed.
"No. Can't wait. Have to… get home… Mac… Wedding… Got to… be there… Stop it… Mac…"
"Harm. Harm, wake up." She spoke softly.
He didn't respond but kept talking in his sleep. "Got to stop the… Mac… can't marry…"
Why was he talking about her wedding? Probably because he'd asked her about it earlier.
"Have to tell her… truth… Water's cold… So cold… Can't make it… I'm sorry, Mac." His restlessness continued.
"Wake up, Harm. You're having a nightmare." She gently touched his shoulder.
Harm's eyes flew open. He blinked, then glanced around the room as if trying to determine where he was before finally looking at her.
"Mac? You're here."
"Where else would I be? You asked me to stay, remember?"
Harm sat up in bed. "Yeah."
"Are you okay?"
"I guess."
"Want to talk about it?"
"I keep dreaming about the crash. Earlier that day, when the LSO was preparing us for quals, he told the RIOs being on their toes. He said, 'The water's cold down there.' After I went down, I kept hearing his words. It was like he had a premonition."
"It must have been terrifying." Mac scooted up in the bed to sit beside him.
"At first, I thought someone would find me. I punched out less than a minute after Skates. But as the hours dragged on, I realized it was hopeless. I was ready to give up."
Mac hesitated. She wanted to ask him about his decision to fly that night, but she wasn't sure she'd like the answer. Nevertheless, she had to know.
"Harm, why were you flying back in that kind of weather?"
"It wasn't bad when we left the ship. Otherwise, they would have never cleared us to fly. The storm moved faster than anyone expected. Then the plane had a low oxygen warning. We had to drop below 10,000. We took a lightning strike. Then nothing worked right."
"I thought you once told me F14s were designed to fly through hurricanes if necessary."
"They are. Something was wrong with this one. I kept it in the air as long as I could."
"Yeah, that's what Skates said. But you still didn't answer my question. Why were you flying back that night? Couldn't you have waited until the next morning?
"No, I couldn't."
"Why not?"
"Because I might have been too late."
"Please don't tell me it was because of me. I regret some of the things I said some things to you when we parted. When we heard your plane went down, I blamed myself."
"It wasn't your fault, Mac."
"But if I hadn't been so insistent on you coming to the wedding…"
"I wasn't coming back for the ceremony."
Mac's heart sank. She felt as if someone had punched her in the stomach. "Then why… Renee. I'm sure you missed her."
Harm took her hand. "No, not because of Renee. I was coming back with the intention of stopping the wedding."
North of Union Station
0030 Local
Mac stood at the window of Harm's loft, looking onto the street below. She wasn't sure why she'd pulled away from him.
I had every intention of stopping the wedding.
His words echoed in her mind. He planned to stop her wedding! It was no secret Harm had never liked Mic, but she never guessed he would try to stop her from marrying the man. After all, didn't he once say if it was okay with her, then it was okay with him?
So why the sudden change? Then she remembered his words that night on the admiral's porch.
Mac, you have someone who will always love you.
He wasn't going to stop the wedding because he didn't approve of her marrying Mic. He was going to stop it because he loved her.
She thought back to that night in Sydney Harbor. He hadn't pushed her away; he'd asked her to wait. Only she couldn't see the truth then. She saw it as rejection. And when Mic forced, yes forced, the ring on her two nights later, she was too vulnerable to say no.
Tears ran down her face at the realization, and she reached to wipe them away. She didn't hear Harm walk up behind her and jumped when he lightly touched her shoulder.
"Mac? You okay?"
She turned to face him, her tears still flowing.
"Hey, you're crying I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." He reached to wipe her tears.
"You didn't. Not exactly. Harm, why were you going to stop my wedding?"
"I would think it's obvious."
"Don't clam up on me, Harm. I need you to say the words."
"You're right. My inability to express my feelings almost cost me something very precious., I only hope it isn't too late."
"Then, just tell me."
"I couldn't bear to see the woman I love marry another man. And if you'll give me a chance, I'll prove how much I love you."
Mac took his hand and led him back to the bedroom.