Patsy is lying in her bed, on her right side, underneath her covers, in her pajamas. She stares at the basinet less than three feet away, as her son sleeps soundly inside. She listens to the sound of him breathing rhythmically, in, and out. She hears her own heart beating in her ears. She craves the feeling of joy. The joy she so desperately craves refuses to envelope her. She does her best to ignore the empty, incongruent feeling that nags at her.

The creaking of an opening door jolts her from her state of reflection. She rolls onto her opposite side. Trixie enters the room, closing the door behind her.

"I'm sorry, I hope I didn't wake you."

Patsy furrows her brow, "It isn't even nine o'clock."

"Yes, but you have had a very long day."

"I wasn't asleep. I was just lying over here, watching him obsessively."

"That isn't healthy, you know."

"What if he stops breathing, or…"

Trixie cuts her off, "Stop. You will drive yourself mad."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Certainly."
"Do you think that everyone knew?"

"No."

"What made you suspect?"

"Are you going to throw something at me if I simply say observation?"

"Yes. That is not enough detail."

"I suspected something was awry when every time I would offer you a light you politely declined, and gave me some line about trying to quit."

"Smoking is not a healthy habit."

"Which has never stopped any of us, before."

"This is true. Go on."

"Then when we had a celebration for someone's birthday I remember you turning your nose up at cake. None of us ever refuse cake, unless it's lent, and even then it is unlikely. At the same bash someone offered you champagne, which you took, but never drank. I saw you pour it out later. Things started adding up. Also, I share a room with you, which probably made it more obvious for me. I noticed that you had gotten new uniforms. I would hear you get up in the wee hours of the morning. One particular morning I happened to need the loo myself, and I could hear you retching. I wanted to say something then, but I knew you weren't ready to discuss it."

"I am still not sure that I am ready to discuss it."

"You do realize that eventually he is going to ask you questions, right?"

"I dread the day."

"How long was it before you realized?"

"How long was it before I made the realization, or how long before I admitted the truth to myself?"

Trixie shrugs, "Either."

"I noticed the symptoms after five or six weeks. I tried to ignore them for quite some time. I kept rationalizing all of the signs. I had missed several menses before I admitted to myself that I was pregnant. I kept hoping that it was just a fluke. At first I convinced myself it was because that I was under a significant deal of stress. Somewhere around the time that I started to have to obtain new uniforms I realized that it was really happening, and I couldn't stop it."

"You stopped smoking, and drinking cold turkey?"

"After the night which he was conceived I told myself that I was going to have to stay away from alcohol for a while, due to my poor judgement. While I was gone I stayed at my father's bedside most of the time, so I didn't often venture out. Shortly after I came to the realization that I was likely pregnant I had run out, so I just decided to stop, at least in the short term."

"I don't know if anyone has told you, but you are very brave."

"I don't feel brave. I feel vulnerable."

"I think that is normal, especially in light of recent events. His birth was rather traumatic for the pair of you, from my understanding."

"After my mother, and my sister died I put up a wall. I never wanted to feel that much pain again. I am certain that it hardened my heart. I was afraid to ever feel that way about someone again. When I woke up in that hospital bed, all I could think was that I hoped he was okay. I didn't even get a good look at him, before I lost consciousness. All of a sudden I felt as if my heart was beating outside of my body, and it was terrifying. I didn't realize that it was possible to love someone so much in an instant."

"You should get some rest. I imagine that he will be awake again shortly."

"I feel as if he has eaten fifteen times today," she admits.

The following day at clinic Sister Julienne finds herself uncharacteristically tired. Shelagh is helping her gather supplies, when she notes the dark circles under her eyes.

"You look tired today."

Her exhaustion leads to a slip of the tongue, "I suppose I am. I did not sleep well last night. The baby was awake several times during the night."

Shelagh furrows her brow in confusion, "What baby?"

"Solomon," Sister Julienne admits.

"Solomon? As in King Solomon? Sister, I have to admit I am not entirely sure that I am following," she purses her lips.

"We have had a recent addition at Nonnatus house," Sister Julienne admits.

"Did that little Ruby Madison sucker you into one of her kittens?"

"Hardly. I am referring to a human baby."

"A human baby? I feel that I am missing a vital piece information. If I am understanding your summary correctly, you are telling me that a human baby was recently added to Nonnatus house."

"Yes," she nods, "That is what I am saying."

"Someone dropped off a baby?"

"No one dropped him off."

Barbara interrupts them, "Sister Julienne until Nurse Mount returns to the roster we are one nurse short."

"I will join the ranks at twelve o'clock," she confirms.

"I am off to deliver the Gregory baby," she nods in understanding.

Several moments pass after Barbara's departure before the silence is broken.

"Does Nurse Mount's release from the roster have anything to do with the human baby to which you are referring?"

"It has everything to do with her release from the roster."