"You want to take the stairs! Really?" Jean looks up at the tremendous iron tower looming ahead of them.

"Why not? We're here and in good health."

"You do know it's like 670 steps?" Jean watches his face closely as Lucien eyes look towards the skies and then towards the elevators. "Well, what did you do when you were here before?"

"Umm, well, I've actually never been up the tower."

"What? Lucien, how many times have you been to Paris and you have never been to the Eiffel Tower." Jean can not wrap her mind around this.

"Well, I've been here, just not up there." Pointing up towards the top.

Jean goes in for a quick peck on the lips before pulling his hand leading the way. "Let's change that then."

There are dozens of younger people, couples heading towards the stairs. Jean and Lucien take notice of the older crowd lined up for the elevator. Jean gives Lucien a nudge and a wicked grin. "Think you can keep up old man?"

"Huh, I'll give you old man." as he catches her in an embrace.

The lines for the elevator is quite long. Jean is excited that Lucien wants to take the stairs. It adds to the adventure. She can feel her heart racing and not a step upward has been taken yet. This place, this cold iron structure has been in her dreams since she can remember. At the base of the stairs she turns to Lucien again. "I really can't believe you haven't done this."

"I was waiting for the right person to share it with. Come on now. You infront of me in case you slip. I can catch you then."

"So you can catch me, hmm. That's why?" Jean gives him a wink and starts up the steps. "Nothing to do with view?"

"Oh it has everything to do with the view!" Lucien growls, as he looks up at his wife's backside.

For a couple hundred steps, Lucien and Jean are able to comment on things as they climb. By the time they reach the first level oxygen becomes too valuable to waste on words. Both rather winded, they take a break and a glance at the view. A young couple that were behind them continues upward, laughing along as if it is a stroll in the park. Jean turns to Lucien, whose eyes follow the the youthful couple with a hint of envy in them. "Lucien, maybe this isn't such a good idea. We could still get the lift?"

"No!" Lucien answers so abruptly that it startles Jean. "I'm sorry Jean. I'm fit as a fiddle just needed to catch my breath. You?"

Jean catches something else in Lucien's words and notes the look on his face. The mask that he puts on to cover his hidden truths is in place. Jean can't understand what is bothering her husband but there is something he is trying to hide from her. "I'm perfectly fine, Lucien. Whenever you are ready we can continue. Let's just take it slow."

As Jean ascends, she keeps her eyes focused on the numbers on each step. Sheer relief washes over her when she steps over the numbers 669. She hears Lucien's heavy breathing behind her. It is almost a wheeze. She can't help worry that the stab wound he endured in the spring is interfering with the deep breaths he is taking. They move to a side so others can pass.

Jean holds Lucien's arm, feeling a bit wobbly from exertion and the altitude. They pause a moment to allow their heartbeats to slow before taking in the view. Making their way to the edge that faces the Seine, Jean loses her breathe again but this time from the beauty of the view.

"Oh Lucien. It is magnificent."

Lucien wraps himself around her from behind. "Yes, it is. Look over there is the Arc de Triomphe." He points out points of interest. "There is Champs-Elysee and our hotel is right there." He feels Jean press deeper into him as he continues his narration of the city in front of them. They walk a bit to the right to get a better view of Notre Dame and around to see Les Champs de Mars.

"There really isn't words for this. Is there?" She turns in his arms. She notices the young couple that passed them on the first level. They are giggling and groping each other. She can't help but think that if they were twenty-five years younger would that be them. No, that wouldn't be us. We wouldn't have been right for each other at that age. This is where we are meant to be. Together, now. She strokes his beard, looking at him deeply. Words are not needed in this moment.

They stand for sometime, Jean nesting in Lucien's arms taking it all in. As often as Jean dreamt of this, she never truly believed she would experience this. Not just Paris but all that Lucien has shared and will continue to share with her on this romantic honeymoon across Europe. She gives a heavy sigh which causes her darling husband to tighten his hold on her.

"Something the matter?" he asks.

"No, nothing is the matter. Just feel like I need a pinch to remind me that this is real."

He bends and kisses her neck with a bit of a nip. "Will that suffice?"

Chuckling, "Yes, that will do." She takes a few steps away from him before turning. "We should probably head down." She looks towards the stair. "Lucien, I really don't think I can do all those steps back down. Let's take the elevator, please."

Lucien can feel his pulse quicken. Seeing the pleading look in Jean's face pains him. He never meant for this experience to cause her discomfort. He looks at the elevator and back to his dear wife. "Of course, Darling"

When it is their turn to get on the elevator they are at the head of the line. Jean takes Lucien's hand as they make their way to the back wall, people crowding around them. She can feel his palms are clammy. Looking up at her husband, she sees his face blanch and beads of sweat form on his brow. Before the lift it is too crowded for movement, Jean turns to face him and wraps her arms around his waist. As the doors close, Lucien's arms tense around her.

"Lucien, look at me." Jean encouraging him to focus on her, whispering soothing words "You're alright. I've got you."

Jean continues to hold Lucien's hand as she leads him away from the base of the iconic landmark. At the bank of the Seine she finally stops. "Lucien, are you alright?" Jean is trying to make sense of what just occurred. "What happened back there?"

"I'm sorry Jean. I really thought I would be alright until we got here this morning then I thought if I took the stairs."

"I don't understand. I know you don't like small spaces but we've been in elevators before."

"Yes, I know." Lucien keeps his eye downcast, ashamed of his visceral reaction.

"Look at me." She uses a gentle touch to lift his chin. "It's alright my love. I just want to understand so I can help you."

"Oh my Jean, you help me more than I can ever express to you. You have healed me in so many little ways from the moment I met you." She looks up at this man she loves so deeply, his mask coming away once again. Her tender husband who trusts her with his deepest pains is once again in front of her. He continues, "it isn't just about the lift though. I was here, in Paris on a mission. I was to meet a contact up there." He points to the top of the Eiffel Tower once again. "I couldn't do it. I couldn't get on that bloody elevator. I hesitated too long trying to decide what to do when I heard the screams radiate downward. The person I was to meet was stabbed in the crowd." Jean watches him closely reading between the lines.

"This was when you working as a spy?"

"Yes."

"That wasn't your fault."

"I should have been up there to help."

"Or killed along with that other person. When did this happen?"

"Back in '54."

She feels her throat constrict. "That was only seven years ago. Should you be telling me this?"

"No, not really I suppose but ...I don't want to lie to you. That doesn't work out so well for me does it?" Lucien's attempt of levity does not pass by Jean.

"But you can't tell me everything can you?" The tears that she has been trying hold back begin to fall. Tears for the secrets that Lucien must keep, tears for her husband's fears and guilt, tears for the scars on his body and soul that he will carry for the rest of his days.

He cups her cheeks and wipes a tear away with his thumb. "No, somethings are too dangerous for you to know. But believe me, trust me, you will know everything I think is safe for you to know, in time. And Jean, my love, all of that is in the past anyway. You are my life and today I went up that blasted tower for the very first time with you, my wife."

"Yes, you did."

He begins pulling her along. "Let's get a bite to eat. There use to be this wonderful cafe around the corner that made the best …."

Jean continues to stand still making Lucien turn. She pulls him into a deep, longing kiss. She wants to stay in this kiss for hours but the public nature of where they are makes her pull back from her husband's lip. "I love you Dr. Lucien Blake. Don't ever forget that. No matter what happened in the past, I love you."

And he knows that she does unconditionally just as he loves her.